T O P
lapsuslingue

Orcas will do this to stun or injure the seal so the young can have a life-like attempt at hunting. The seals being impaired will provide an easier target for the growing orca pups


Smaptey

I think momma went a lil overboard this time with the crippling


permaculture

Honey, how crippled do you want your seal?


PM_ME_KNEE_SLAPPERS

Extra.


Aesen1

How many knee slappers do people send you?


PM_ME_KNEE_SLAPPERS

1 and it wasn't really that funny. Edit:Just got a good one, so 2.


noideawhatijustsaid

You just made 1 redditor sad


PM_ME_KNEE_SLAPPERS

It was a while ago and I really hope he's not following me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_ME_KNEE_SLAPPERS

Made me nervous but it wasn't you. Here's the joke: How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg!


TheVitoCorleone

Good to see a boy eating his veggies. ^^^I ^^^FEEL ^^^HORRIBLE ^^^ABOUT ^^^THIS


Macho_Mans_Ghost

Underappreciated right here. Upvote for you my friend!


Pork_Chops_McGee

Well-done. Like when you think it’s finished, count to one hundred; then it’s ready.


vajav

I prefer the original recipe


cpchris244

Extwa cwippled


DasJuden63

Christopher Reeve please


Pork_Chops_McGee

Too soon man, too soon.


BrockN

Canadian style please


Panzycake

I want it to be a flat-earther.


napjerks

"Oh crap, let me get you another one." ~ momma


The_Write_Stuff

Anything over five seconds of hang time is just showing off.


Thelgow

Bah, I like full difficulty from the start. Git gud.


AshantiMcnasti

I like life like I like my videogames: Soulsborne crushingly difficult with multiple deaths and a dude named Patches


tlbane

I timed his hang time at about 4.3 seconds, which means 2.15s of free fall. That means the orca knocked the seal ~75ft in the air.


TombKingJames

Assuming a perfectly spherical seal in a vacuum?


Tylo1

Shape doesn’t matter if we’re ignoring air resistance


TombKingJames

I just wanted to say spherical seal.


TerrainIII

Spherical seal.


Ghitzo

Say "perfectly spherical seal" 5 times fast


Straight_Back

Do you speak whale?


[deleted]

Marine equivalent of cat playing with dead mouse.


gypsyakalandpirate

In both cases they play with them while they are still alive and bleeding.


Logan117

Intelligent enough to be psychotic


Unicorn_Ranger

Bitchin album name


0LowLight0

The latest release from Unicorn Ranger. I saw them at the 2014 Albany show. Yes, *that* Albany show.


Earlmo

Albany has the best show scene in the country.


lispychicken

Some fedora-wearing anime fan just updated their FB to include this quote. thanks :/


substantialcatviking

/r/bandnames


caskaziom

By Panic! at the Disco


ggavigoose

As distasteful as it is to us, there is an actual psychology behind the behaviour beyond just cruelty. A cat plays with prey to gradually weaken it rather than going for a decisive kill. It's a low-risk way of getting the prey to the point where it can be finished off and eaten. Reason being, if it isn't worn down first even a rabbit or a mouse can put up enough of a fight to break skin/damage teeth etc. Even a minor injury can lead to infection, which usually means death for a predator since their access to medical care is little better than that enjoyed by the average American.


bentori42

As an average American, I can confirm this is why I play with my food


wolves_hunt_in_packs

i thought you guys just put more bullets into it until it stops moving!


bentori42

Yeah, that's when we start playing with it! On the plus side, all the lead in it makes playing also a good workout


IHearBedPeople

I worry that you’re perhaps thinking anthropomorphically. Queens will bring live mice back to their kittens for them to hone their hunting skills. If there were a “psychology” (I am hoping by that that you mean a “survival benefit” but I don’t mean to presume) to tiring a mouse because they present a threat, why bring live mice home to their offspring? Cats have no problems killing mice. In the wild they eat about 8 mice per day and still manage to sleep 14-16 hours per day. They are designed to kill mice and they are machines. The survival of mice depends upon avoiding cats, stealthy behavior, and high reproductive rates among other survival strategies. Fighting back isn’t one of them. Playing with a mouse is just like the compulsion humans have to throw things at something (sports). People who found a certain satisfaction in throwing things at a target did better at surviving and passing along their genes. So cats like to keep practicing too. It’s like the “oddly satisfying” subreddit, sometimes there’s things that just “feel” right. Maybe sex for example. Sorry to go on so long and I don’t mean disrespect to the poster but cats don’t play “cat and mouse” because they “psychologically” are trying to tire a mouse to defend themselves. Mice are people, cats are T-Rex’s.


ggavigoose

You're correct, I didn't mean psychology in the human sense. I guess really I meant something closer to pathology, in the sense of the cat engages in behaviour that is beneficial to it not because it understands what it is doing but because instinct compels it to. I feel like if anything my thinking was the opposite of anthropomorphic. To me thinking anthropomorphically would be ascribing prey-baiting behaviour to cats being psychos. I think we're actually on the same page here. Both of us think the cat engages in the behaviour for reasons that are beneficial to it, and neither of us think it does so because it is thinking critically - it is indeed just satisfying the itch of what it's brain is telling it to do. Where we diverge is I think prey-baiting in particular is to ensure a safe kill (there are plenty of predators that will first injure or chase prey to wear it down), and you posit that it is closer to practice. Both are good ideas, especially since yours is backed up by how a queen will bring prey to her children. Maybe it's even both! So, apologies if psychology was the wrong term. I was using it very loosely. I absolutely love my cats but I know when they sit in my lap and groom my arm it's because I'm warm and I'm part of their social group, not because they 'love' me. (I can dream though!)


butterbar713

I like to put myself in the shoes of the victims, usually I find my reaction to be comical and it makes me feel better. There is probably something wrong with me though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


butterbar713

Yeah, that plays out in my head (usually in cartoon format) as me running, yelling “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuu..!” Then bam! Dead! I put a disclaimer in saying there is probably something wrong with me.


needhug

Just a few wires crossed on your head


iLov3Ram3n

Son u ain't right


[deleted]

Confirmed... all is not right with you.


SepDot

My cat plays with live mice. That he maims just enough they can still try to get away.


[deleted]

As much as I love cats they really are sadistic fucks


ButterflySammy

A rodent bite can get infected - they do it to stay safe until the prey is definitely safe to eat - domestic cats have the instinct left over but aren't so hungry.


[deleted]

A moose once bit my sister. Mind you, moose bites can be pretty nasty.


Spurlz

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.


DellTheEngie

Those responsible for sacking the original people who were sacked, have been sacked.


Grill3dCheeze

I heard your sister's bites can get infected...


[deleted]

[удалено]


slappinbass

Reported ones. I’ll bet most people that get bit by a person don’t need to go to the ER. If you’re bit by someone bad enough to go to the ER, you’ve probably just been bit by a meth head or someone on drugs whose first priority is not making sure they floss. If you’ve been bit by this person, it means you probably hang out in some weird places. The person who is bit will often not come in until it gets infected because they don’t have it as their highest priority. They also sadly may not have easy access to health care. Cats are the dirtiest, but most people with cats also tend to have houses and health insurance. They’ll usually get that cleaned out before it can get infected. Dog bites are a weird one. They don’t bite as often but they usually bite someone they’ve never met. Mixed bag on if that person goes in to get it cleaned out before it gets infected. Source: I worked EMS and ER for a bunch of years.


MechanicalTurkish

I had to take antibiotics after Jon Voight bit me.


genveir

And to break their bones so they'll go down easier


staples11

It's off putting, but it's nature. Predators do not always win and they are not invulnerable to their prey. There's a reason why most predators target animals much smaller than them or old, weak, young, or wounded prey. Additionally, hunting by way of stealth ambush or pack hunting. A bite from any size animal can be deadly if it gets infected. Then a lot of the stereotypical National Geographic prey animals like the antelope, gazelle, or more likely a waterbuffalo or wildebeest; one chance kick to the head, ribs, or legs to the predator can cause severe injury.


stenlis

IDK, the cat at my parent's farm would catch a mouse in the field, then carry it in its mouth for hundreds of yards back near the barn (where the cat generally liked to hang out), only THEN it would start playing with it. Doesn't seem any safer than snapping the mouse's back as soon as you can.


mistaque

Yeah, but there is a purpose to their 'games'. Take a look at a cat's muzzle. It is tiny and cute and puts their eyes well within range of a frantic prey's claws or teeth or beak. It's as though every time you opened a fridge, an enraged badger leapt at your face. So yeah, cats will try to 'play' their food into accepting that continuing to exist in agony when all your limbs are broken while slowly starving to death is worse than just getting it over with a quick bite. If the prey still try to get away, then more 'play' is needed, obviously. And even if the cat is not hungry, it'll practice the skills that will allow it to eat in the wild if or when it has to.


[deleted]

I think that's why dinosaurs went extinct. I was watching a documentary called "Dinosaurs" and when they opened the fridge to get food the food was still alive and resisting and they had a violent autistic baby and seemed to have some marital problems that can mimic the ones in humans at times. Earl *walking to bedroom seductively* "Fran! It's Thursday!"


Sardonnicus

I liked that. Thank you.


Sardonnicus

You don't blow up your GI-Joes with firecrackers. You just blow them up a little bit so you can do it again tomorrow.


[deleted]

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HonkersTim

Does he dig them up? We have loads of moles in the UK, but we've always been told they are so shy and nocturnal that most UK people will never see a live mole in their lifetimes.


cberthebaud

I was actually speaking to a lady who owns her own pest control company yesterday, she was a ruthless fucker but had some great stories but one key part she said was that she doesn't take care of; foxes, rabbits and moles! Moles specifically because the gas they used to use to kill them is becoming illegal meaning she would have to use traps, and have to check on the traps everyday and people just don't wanna pay for that! I've got some more stories from her whilst it's still fresh on my mind if anyone's interested.


tyrfing6416

Yes please


cberthebaud

Alright i'll list all the key facts i remember her telling me. She was setting rat traps for a pub i was doing some work for and naturally the first q was how do you kill rats if you happen to come across one alive, ''i know its pretty grim but give it a good stamp'' A reason she doesn't hunt down foxes is because it consists of laying down some meet in a neighbour hood then hiding in a corner then killing with 1 bullet to the head which she cannot stand to do. the reason she doesnt hunt down rabbits is because theyre a ''bloody pain'' as soon as you let off 1 bullet they all scatter so they are an absolute piss take to get rid of. The one animal she hates the most are 'pigeons', mainly because when she was younger helping her dad with the pest control job, she managed to get some pigeon poo in her right eye (pigeon poo is highly toxic and you should always wear full protective gear when dealing with it) she could have gone blind that day if it wasnt treated immediately but her right eye has been worse than her left ever since. So one of her main contracts of work is getting rid of pigeons, usually in big warehouses and it was only a fortnight ago that she had to get rid of 43~ pigeons in a big warehouse, her son now works with her so he's the shooter. So they got to the warehouse late at night and began the shooting, it consists of an air rifle and running around making sure non of them are hiding or left dead somewhere. Finally since i can't think of anymore she was on a tv show a few years ago in the UK and the camera man kept crying every time she killed a rat and she specifically said at some point ''go over there so i can bloody kill this''


NoNameRaisedByWolves

When I was younger we had a mole destroying our backyard. My dog went crazy sniffing a spot in the yard. My dad took a shovel and jammed it into the ground. He dug up a dead mole. After that my dad loved that dog. The dog was an American pit bull terrier


PM_ME_YORU_CRYPTO

That dog's name? Dog.


[deleted]

Terriers have a thing for burrowing animals.


[deleted]

so your dad did not love it before?


shlerm

I think the only mole I've seen in the UK is one my cat brought in.


HonkersTim

I reckon I've seen 10,000 molehills, and not a single mole, dead or alive.


Chachenhouser

Why do you let him do that?


EndGame410

Because moles are horrible, and the fact that the dog can catch them at all is impressive. Why discourage the dog from hunting prey, especially when hunting that prey directly benefits him?


Chachenhouser

You have a point. I have no argument based in raw data or logic, only from emotion.


zersh

you give in on the internet? it's treason then


banned50times

If everyone could realize and react like this the world would be a better place. Don't lose that ability.


nepia

Or people making pancakes.


luesAyer

Marine version of 16 y/o throwing cat into street


super_ag

Warranty void if seal is broken.


NukedCookieMonster7

Ha!


GoodBufo

[I like to think it was these two guys](https://m.imgur.com/gallery/YY0qpgn)


BranTheNightKing

GO FORTH MY NOBLE STEED!


irishbball49

SHOW THEM THE MEANING OF HASTE SHADOWFAX!


SnakeHarmer

That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen.


DUNN_B

BATTLE ON THE HORIZON!! CHAAAARGE


jersey_viking

I think, at one point, even the seagulls try to take bite out of the guy in mid air. Seagulls are the real assholes here. Make no mistake.


Whimpy13

Maybe they're working togheter to catch seagulls?


MrBenSampson

Orca: Did you catch the bird? Seal: I wanna go home! Orca: Not until you get a bird! *toss


jersey_viking

This...was good. Chuckle factor 11.


captain_obvious_here

Orcas and birds...nope, not really friends : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20LYKnFryns


sublux88

Leah got a gold star that day


beefsquatch87

A seal hasn’t had that much airtime since kiss from a rose


bokskar

Well stolen.


harryjmcc1

A seal hasn't had that much airtime since kiss from a rose


pepperNlime4to0

Poorly stolen


ginihendrix

when was the last time a seal had that much airtime ? probably when kiss from a rose was released


freethinker-

nice remix


Thebiginfinity

he dead


PointOfFingers

His fate is sealed


[deleted]

[удалено]


Heifeweissen

This comment is too good. Choking on my breakfast right now.


reydeguitarra

Try doing the Heimlich on yourself with a chair. https://i.imgur.com/jWNB1Pt.jpg


SirHerpMcDerpintgon

Looks like me when I stumble in the dark and accidentally bump into a chair.


Spatt

At least he went out on a high note.


pomfritten

Sleep with the seagulls.


Redected

Looks to me like Orca is trying to score a bonus seagull snack


[deleted]

I just googled it and apparently male seals can weigh up to 375 lbs.. most people couldn’t even lift one. That orca just sent it what looks like a 5 story building..


ThrownFarAsHellAway0

Well looks like I know what I'm having for dinner tonight


Snazzymf

Well yeah if you were 8000 lbs of muscle with a body built like a trebuchet I bet you could throw a seal pretty far too.


[deleted]

I reckon you could launch it over 300 meters, easy.


googIebears

Yep that's me, I bet you're wondering how I ended up in this situation.


xyzzy8

This is what I want to do to slow drivers on my commute.


big_duo3674

Throw them up in the air so they land slightly in front of you?


Cucumbersnatch

Of course, then you get to have fun all the way to work.


scrappykitty

And slow walkers, and people who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle as they browse merchandise.


uglyzombie

I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again: Dolphins are assholes. Preemptive edit: Yes, Killer Whales are fucking dolphins.


T-51bender

I prefer calling them orcas. Not only does it sound cooler, apparently it's more correct as well.


Whimpy13

_Trebuchets of the sea._


T-51bender

For when you want to hurl a 90 kg seal over 300 m.


[deleted]

_panda tank_


pm_me_ur_CLEAN_anus

Isn't it more of a catapult in this circumstance?


Schmoeman

The lesser known but still deadly, ultimate siege machine of the sea!!


Hoo-Doggies

I don't know the porpoise of calling an orca a dolphin.


T-51bender

Aw fish, it’s a dolphin / porpoise pun! Oh whale.


Lord_Alamo

I prefer calling them sea pandas...


Logan117

It’s more accurate. It’s just as correct.


[deleted]

Couple caveats to that: 1)Orca is a demonic reference. Perhaps not much better than "killer whale" 2)Orcinus orca may soon be divided into different species based on socialization, diet, and other differentiating characteristics not known about 30 years ago. When that happens, "orca" would only correctly refer to one of the species at most. Source: Beyond Words: How Animals Think And Feel, by Carl Safina


munky82

Don't they have the cognitive ability of an 11 year old? Many 11 year olds are also assholes.


Solo_Wing__Pixy

I’ve never heard it explained like this before but...it makes sense.


murderofcrows90

Why would they fuck dolphins?


DonaldsPizzaHaven

besides the obvious?


euphonious_munk

That blowhole feels amazing.


factsforreal

Poor dolphins!


Bigvynee

"Fuck you dorphin, fuck you whare!"


Supreme0verl0rd

*"Fucka yoo dorphin!!! Fucka yoo whare!!!"


Accursed_Pan

This kills the seal.


620speeder

Yes the eating afterward does too


[deleted]

Holy fucking shit.


outtsider

Yes the power that is needed to accomplish that is unbelievably. A human would have absolutely zero chances of surviving an Orca attack.


Qlinkenstein

Well, a human on land might stand a pretty good chance of surviving an orca attack, unless you outfitted the orca with ~~come~~ some sorta firearm. Edit: Profreeding isn me strange pornt! (Maybe he was related to a sperm whale!)


GenghisKazoo

Who needs a gun when you can just fling a 300 lb seal at someone?


apple_kicks

luckily (unless you're a whale) Orcas have history with teaming up with humans to hunt than killing us https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_whales_of_Eden,_Australia


WikiTextBot

**Killer whales of Eden, Australia** The killer whales of Eden, Australia were a group of killer whales (Orcinus orca) known for their co-operation with human hunters of cetacean species. They were seen near the port of Eden in southeastern Australia between 1840 and 1930. A pod of killer whales, which included amongst its members a distinctive male called Old Tom, would assist whalers in hunting baleen whales. The killer whales would find target whales, shepherd them into Twofold Bay, and then alert the whalers to their presence and often help to kill the whales. *** ^[ [^PM](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=kittens_from_space) ^| [^Exclude ^me](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiTextBot&message=Excludeme&subject=Excludeme) ^| [^Exclude ^from ^subreddit](https://np.reddit.com/r/nononono/about/banned) ^| [^FAQ ^/ ^Information](https://np.reddit.com/r/WikiTextBot/wiki/index) ^| [^Source](https://github.com/kittenswolf/WikiTextBot) ^| [^Donate](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiTextBot/wiki/donate) ^] ^Downvote ^to ^remove ^| ^v0.28


LordZar

Should rename them roller-coaster whales.


InfernoForged

Assuming parabolic flight velocity pattern and neglecting drag, that seal got about 5 seconds of airtime. That means that the summit of the trajectory was reached when the seal was ~2.5 seconds out of the water with a vertical velocity of zero. Using a combination of the first and second dynamic equations of motion: The first equation states that instantaneous velocity is equal to the initial velocity plus the change in velocity (which happens to be equal to the acceleration of the body as a product of time). Confining our analysis to the vertical direction (as the horizontal direction does not change the maximum altitude as we have assumed drag is negligible) yields: v = v_0 + a*t and we said the vertical velocity was zero at the summit. So v = 0, t = 2.5 and a = g = -9.81 m/s^2 (acceleration due to gravity). Isolating for the initial velocity gives v_0 = 24.524 m/s. With this we can use the second equation of motion to determine the exact height. Assuming that x_0 = 0 (the initial position), the second equation states that instantaneous position is equal to the initial position (0) plus the initial velocity times time (which gives the distance travelled) and then adding the correction factor (as the seal is decelerating) which is (1/2)*a*t^2. The equation is then x = x_0 + t*v_0 + (1/2)*a*t^2 substituting all of the values in gives: x = (0) + (2.5)(24.524) + (1/2)(-9.81)(2.5)^2 That means the total height reached is about 30.7 meters or 100.7 feet for our American friends.


[deleted]

r/theydidthemath


Capetonian323

r/trebuchetmemes


Stereotypic_redditor

Guys, chill. They're just re-creating Dirty Dancing.


mjs_pj_party

Nobody puts that seal in a corner!


Casey63800

YEET


GardenRising

Too much splash on the landing. I give it a 6.5


JTTRad

Did he take down a seagull with that living projectile??


pjpat

This breaks the seal


Quagga_Resurrection

r/natureismetal


Stumpinators

r/mypeopleneedme


AGenericUsername1004

I bet it did that on porpoise.


GSpess

Everybody is all afraid of Sharks but do you know who we should be REALLY afraid of? Orcas. The mother fucking “Killer Whales”, they’re strong, they’re smart, they’re fast they’re SMART and they’re deadly as hell. Know who is afraid of Killer Whales? Great White sharks. Why? Because Killer Whales can make a meal out of them if they want, sometimes they might do it for fun, or because they’re bored. Imagine a bigger, stronger version of a shark with higher cognitive ability than most residents of Alabama. That’s the Orca. A shark that can think things through and problem solve. Oh and they live in packs so you fuck with one you fuck with the whole pod. And you know who wouldn’t stand for Roy Moore? Killer Whales.


Iamnotburgerking

>Know who is afraid of Killer Whales? Great White sharks. Why? Because Killer Whales can make a meal out of them if they want, sometimes they might do it for fun, or because they’re bored. *sigh* this idea again.... [Orcas can and rarely have killed great whites, but great whites are not afraid of orcas, nor are orcas liable to seek out and kill great whites for fun](https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/7dniu1/orcas_have_learned_how_to_drown_great_white_sharks/dpz6vif/).


WigglyParrot

That seal is having a bad day


[deleted]

Orcas still remain my favorite animal, and not even their evident sadism will change that.


Phurion36

Omae wa mou shindeiru


[deleted]

He's really whalin out


colonelk0rn

[Reminds me of this](https://youtu.be/cyT1E_CROLo)


roscoe_dock

I really thought this was /r/NatureIsMetal


noholdingbackaccount

It's a little known fact that orcas love the taste of seagulls. Here we see an Orca trying to knock one out of the air with the help of his seal friend who he catapults in an arc attempting to intercept the seagull flying overhead. Had the throw been more on target, the seal friend would have slapped the seagull unconscious with a flipper and then they would have shared the meat. (Orcas like the wings and breast. Seals like the feet which they consider a delicacy..)


[deleted]

Fun fact: Orcas are assholes.


Elethor

The orca is just trying to help him follow the dolphins


[deleted]

[удалено]


620speeder

strange emphasis


[deleted]

Loose seal!


balistiq

It was its highest point in life.


mudcrabperson

That looks like a great loading screen!


TalPistol

holy shit that's high!


Maringam

he ded


YOUARECANCEROUSMEME

It's a bird now.


CustersLastHandstand

When a whale learns to bicycle kick


xXBaconRobotXx

I feel bad for upvoting, but that was sort of amazing


xSilentWalrus

YEET!


MiguelMescudi

Man I bet that’s one hell of a view to go to.


Realsorceror

The morbid playfulness of a cat and the strength of the Hulk.


Valkyrieh

AND STAY OUT!!!!!!


crunchypuddle

Good thing that seal isn't in a zoo. He looks way happier in this gif.


sleepingdeep

killer whales are the dicks of the ocean.


NeverRespondsToInbox

Fucking asshole killer whales.


stbrads

What an exileration to experience before death.


misappliedreference

That orca is an asshole.


[deleted]

Meanwhile all the vegans thinking meat is murder yet animals are way more cruel and torture other animals just for fun.


WingWalkerPro

This isn't done for fun. It's to injure the seal so the orca pups can practice hunting.


LilithSeesAll

Fun fact: a lot of Orcas don't eat big prey. These are transient orcas, which are easier to recognize with their bigger size & long dorsal fin (going on 7ft tall even on females). There several types of Orcas with different patterns (some have huge white spots on their face, others barely have any) which can ultimately be split in two types: the huge, migratory, mammal-hunting transients and the smaller, sedentary, fish-eating residents. You can find pods of residents along the coasts of BC, near some islands and in Scandinavian Fjords. Both types are very rarely harmful to humans: there are only a few dozen accidents documented in the wild, most of them resulting in very benign injuries. The last time someone has been bitten by a wild orca was in the 70's and the poor folk needed over 100 suture points. The only life-threatening injuries and deaths related to killer whales have happened in captivity, the majority of whom have been caused by males that have been caught in tanks with aggressive foreign females and were bitten/bullied on a daily basis (orcas are matriarchal). A lot of captive male orcas have been known to engage in auto-mutilation and even commit suicide. They have extremely developed emotional brains, which opens the door to sadism (see gif), depression and other mental illnesses.