T O P
Mundane_Surprise9483

Your family is going to make your son feel like he’s not worthy and give him insecurities with eating disorders, and all kinds of crap could happen if they do not stop this. You! Need to put an end to this crap and not let your family do this to him. That is just horrible of your family to do to this child do something about it


FunkisHen

Why do you keep bringing your son around people who bully him? It's not ok, they might give him an eating disorder. This is serious. Go to therapy, you need to understand why you're not protecting your son from these bullies.


ShadesOfViolet6

I agree with this comment completely.


BecGeoMom

Yes!


Anne-Pie-7341

Thank you four your reply, I will talk to my family more about this, and also I want to apologize because I put my son's weight wrong, he is 66 kilos


Soad_lady

I think the point is no don’t talk to your family. Unless you’re telling them you’re not talking to them anymore because they’re bullies…. Doesn’t matter what weight your son is this is an awful way for that kid to live.


LividSelection5605

Your family is going to do what they want to do and say what they want to say. It doesn’t matter what you do/say to them. You can’t control them. What you can control is how you react and if you are willing to continue to have your son bullied.


crzy19aka

Don’t make excuses to them, tell them to stop when they don’t walk away. Tell your husband to handle his family.


BecGeoMom

It’s her family, not her husband’s family. Unless I missed something in the comments.


Grimsterr

It is your job as a parent to protect your son from abuse, what they're doing is abuse, why aren't you protecting him? Please protect your son from this, please.


ihavenoidea1001

My mother's side of the family are AH and bullies too. They got cut out from my kids life over 10 years ago and it was the best decision of my life. Unfortunetly I never had a mother that did what she should and therefore I ended up exposed to a lot of abuse from them. The cycle ended for my children. You're allowing them to do that to your child. Them not respecting your child it's on them. You not putting up boundaries and allowing this bullying behaviour is on you. You're telling your kid they're right, that he can't count on you and that being bullied and humiliated is fine and that you are definetely not there to help and stand up for him. Family isn't this. Family is love, acceptance and support. They might be blood relatives but they're definetely not family. ETA: I just did a conversion to the metric system and his measurments aren't even near obese? He's a little bit above the 50 percentile in weight and around the 90 percentile for height! If I translated and converted this correctly this means that your kid is far taller than he weights. My 5 yo has exactly the same thing going on right now ( way above average in height for his age while his weight is just a bit over average) and according to his pediatrian he can gain a couple of pounds without any issue.


Anne-Pie-7341

Hello thank you for your reply, I am sorry I made a mistake trying to calculate kilos on pounds, I asked my husband and he make it wrong, he is 144cms and 66 kilos


BecGeoMom

💯


DbleDelight

Based on his height and weight he is classified as obese, having said that your family approach is just leading to an eating disorder. You need to work with your son on healthy eating habits and the relationship between his body and exercise to establish good food habits but please tell your family that their behaviour is unacceptable and if they can't behave then you will limit contact with them.


Bergiful

Completely agree. OP, your family isn't helping this situation and is only making things worse. Work with your child's doctor, a dietician, and maybe a therapist to help your child develop these good habits and relationships with food.


-UnknownGeek-

Tell them to knock it off or you cut off contact


BabserellaWT

Why in the world are you repeatedly exposing your son to these horrible people?


BecGeoMom

Why do you still spend time with your family? Why aren’t you protecting your son from their vicious bullying? Would you allow anyone else you know to verbally abuse your son like that? What is wrong with you? This is how eating disorders are born. You might not be doing this to your son, but you keep exposing him to people who do it, even though they are **bullying your child.** If you love your son, *stop exposing him to your catty, hateful, mean family.* If, for some reason, you don’t want to go NC with them, then see them separately from your husband & son. But stop making that child spend time with people who tell him every single time that he is fat, unlovable, and not good enough. Stop doing that to your child who looks to you to protect him from bullies. Do your job.


temp225566

Wow. Your family sounds pretty awful. He is too young to have to worry about that.


Starr-Bugg

I’m sorry your mother & sisters are nasty b!tches. Please stop spending time with them. It’s ok to be concerned about his health, but they are not caring about his health. They are being shallow, mean, bully b!tches. Your son will feel like crap and begin to hate all women, maybe even become a bitter incel one day. Protect him NOW! Also, when he grows taller and loses weight, your b!tchy mother & sisters will praise him so he’ll think only thin people deserve love. That is TOXIC! Stay away from them for years until your son is independent enough to filter out all your family’s crap.


Anne-Pie-7341

Thank you for your reply I will talk to my family more about that, and I want to apologize because I put my son's weight wrong, he is 66 kilos


RemingtonFlemington

Oh my gosh!! Your son doesn't have a weight problem, other than having to carry their criticisms. If they can't say something nice, then they need to not be around yall. My kids were rail thin til puberty. They each gained like 20-30 pounds BEFORE they shot up in height. Puberty changes things and he's 8 and only 60 pounds. They need to lay off before they cause him an eating disorder.


Anne-Pie-7341

I make a mistake trying to calculate kilos on pounds, I asked my husband and he make it wrong, he is 144cms and 66 kilos. But thank you for your reply I will talk with my family more about this


BecGeoMom

The time for talking is over. Stop spending time with your family until they can learn to be **nice.** It might require extensive therapy for them.


emilyallover

Call them out in front of your child. To them: “In our family, we don’t make comments about other people’s bodies.” To your son: “[son’s name], aunt/grandma knows they are not supposed to make comments about anyone’s bodies, and they are made a mistake right now by saying that.” To aunt/grandma: “When we make mistakes, we apologize, so please apologize to [son]. If you cannot, we will have to leave” Stick up for your son in front of him. Let them know they’re in the wrong and give them the option to change their behavior. If not, you are the protector and in charge of the messages he is exposed to - if they cannot stop, you can avoid putting him in harmful situations by not seeing them.


Soad_lady

I would not be bringing him around them until they learn how to act. Thats so rude


metalbill64

Your family sucks op


Jadens78

“Next family member to mention my sons weight or the amount he eats isn’t invited to nexts years Turkey day!”


weirdkandya

Hi. I was like your son in my childhood. I wasn't fat, just rounded and soft. My paternal family gave me body image issues that I carry with me until now. My mom, although tried her hardest to stop people from poking fun of me, wasn't able to do much to stop it completely. You are your child's advocate. Tell your family that you will be cutting them out from your son's life if they don't stop poking fun of him. Is that drastic? May be but this will save your son a lifetime of body image issues which WILL bring about a lot of other complexes that he doesn't need. Talk to your son. Tell him to ignore those people and that he looks perfect the way he is. I will also suggest a healthier diet to set him up for success later in his life but I don't have any clue about your food habits and lifestyle so I won't. Please protect your son from your family's toxic behavior.


lifesnotfair2u

If you're tired of it, imagine how he feels. He's the subject of their criticism. They're toxic and are harmful to your son. Keep him away from them. Let them know why you're keeping your space. "If my son didn't do anything WRONG, then why are you treating him this way?" Until they realize that they need to shut their mouths about a person YOU'RE responsible for, they don't need to be around him. Put his mental health above the relationships you have with these people. When you started your own family, that new unit became more important than the family you grew up with.


blind_roomba

Dude, don't let off steam here, blow up on your siblings and mother.


LividSelection5605

It doesn’t matter how big your son is. These comments are inappropriate and one day he will be old enough to know how fucked up his grandmother and other family members are, but he will also start to question why you didn’t shield him from this. It’s obvious your fam doesn’t respect what you have to say so why bring your son around them? You are opening the door for him to become disrespected.


Ok-Choice-9199

Don't be sad, as long as the child is healthy and fat, it doesn't matter, as long as not fat to affect health


DozenPaws

That's the main issue, people are healthy until they aren't but by that time it's difficult to undo the damage done. Edit: Not the main issue about this situation, I meant about health in general.


ihavenoidea1001

Health is important and so is **mental** health. Allowing adults to bully him isn't going to help in anyway. Focusing on his body and weight like that isn't going to help. Unless your goal is to give the kid an eating disorder and putting their lifes at risk. ( I wasn't even overweight when I started dealing with people telling me similar stuff and ended up with an eating disorder to the point were I refused medication because it contained honey. I got to the point of being amnoreic and at risk of organ failure and wouldn't eat because then I'd get fat and I fully believed the " I'll rather die than be fat *again*" . I also wouldn't eat a persimmon or a banana because it was "fatening" - guess what, neither of those make you fat if you're eating healthy. ) ----> btw this ED was the result of the bullying of my mother's side of the family and my mother's behaviour. When all your value is put in you looking as thin as possible and you tell your kid that fruit is going to make them obese this is what you might end up with. >it's difficult to undo the damage done. Undoing the physical and emotional damage done by an eating disorder isn't easier. It's a child. If they're getting heavier than they should encourage good/healthy eating habits and sport activities. Help them by making healthy choices more natural, give the example, make small changes... And if you don't know a good way to do it, you can also ask the pediatrician for help and guidance. Never should you try to bully a child into losing weight though. That does not help. The only thing you are doing is killing their self-esteem and promoting eating disorders. His value isn't linked to his weight and he should never be made to feel like it is.


DozenPaws

Yes, I agree with you on all of that. Everyone already said everything needed to say about what the family is doing, so I didn't feel the need to comment on that.


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elfpebbles

Your family are toxic and if they can be that cruel and vicious to a child they don’t deserve to be around him. Tbh itd prob be better for him to not be around them. If you don’t think your kid has a eating disorder now he will by the time they’re finished bullying him. Take the kid on a hike or swimming and leave the toxic fam at home and let the kid enjoy the food. I mean we can all benefit from better food choices


Kiwiofhell

The fact that your son is overweight doesn't give them the right to A) judge you on the way you parent B) bully him to stop eating or to be ashamed of what he eats C) be disrespectful to any of you Take your son away from that people, don't let them treat him like this. You're his mom, if they can't be decent with him then they should not be around him Forbid any kind of weight/food comments in his presence, if they don't comply leave. Take your son to a dietician if there's a problem with what he's eating and don't let other people meddle.


academicRedditor

Maybe family is right?