T O P

rock his shit guys

rock his shit guys

_IrishWhite_

True entrepreneur. Nice.


Kerms_

Pure capitalism moment


TigerbeLEE

OnlyFists discount 50% off this week


SmegMcmuffins

That's still a porn site


Johnm50

He should charge more.


irfan1212

Start low, demand goes up, then increase the price hehehhe


travestikazim

Why only sell shells? Sell oil as well!


kac00n

Guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks


TDJesusSaves

Sell water to a fish, sell time to a clock


RimuruLover

7 press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes


Quantum_Physics231

and run to be the president of the united states!


LegendGamer11

Big smile mate! , big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate!


H8spants

9 Polarize the people, controversy is the game! It don’t matter if they hate you if the all say your name!!


Mister100Percent

Ten: The world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause.


AsaultKing

business lessons 101


G_Viceroy

Pretty sure he's not of drinking age yet. Once he can get into bars expect a 300% price increase. And for him to be banned from every bar in the tri-state area.


ijjgiafjidfai

The gradual build up of scar tissue will make him invulnerable.


TechnomancerThirteen

For an extra $100 he’ll show up drunk. After he’s legal of course


No_Organization5188

Whoa there I’m just gonna fight him not fuck him.


darthcaedusiiii

Both. Both is good.


DonnaRussle

The GetsBeatUpinator


beyond_this_point

This is so old his kids are of drinking age now


RolletRogue

"And that was my back story. And now I will destroy the TRI STATE AREA!"


MagicTrashPanda

It’s just a ploy to blackmail you later by threatening to show your girl messages proving you need to hire people to beat them up.


hangry_grandpa

The ol double dip


No_Organization5188

Yeah really, that price is so low that I’m considering using him.


UrMouthsMyShithole

I'm single and considering just beating the shit out of this man


JackCastor99

How much for a tittie twister?... asking for a friend.


Johnm50

On the house


Skylantech

But what if he gets off to getting beaten up? It's a win win


SpaceDegenerate

The twist is he's a masochist and he gets paid for it


predictingzepast

Do what you love and never work a day in your life..


SpaceDegenerate

Nothing better than harassing women and getting your ass kicked


G00DLuck

Chicks dig it


BigPackHater

It's a big hit!


OfCuriousWorkmanship

Floored by this comment!


driving_andflying

It's a guaranteed knock-out!


The_Besticles

“Why does that guy you just knocked out have a massive boner? Doesn’t that mean you maybe killed him?” Uh yeah honey we’d better gtf outta here fast, pretty badass tho amiright???


AMC_Tendies42069

https://youtu.be/Gnfs32rl6_s


DatSauceTho

At first I was like “wtf is this?” Then realized it was Canadian and I was like “oh okay that makes way more sense now”.


AMC_Tendies42069

It’s also like 25 years old. Just haven’t heard “chixxdiggitl” in forever and he queued it in my head


werdnosbod

Thank you for that. Brings me back


TheGreenGobblr

Sigma Grindset


LargeDepression

Nothing better than harassing women


xi-jinping-the-gr8

Sigma male grindset


galactixo

nothing better than harassing


mrsprucemoose

He's fuckin ten-ply bud


predictingzepast

I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?


gzilla57

Hope you got tracking


mrsprucemoose

Looking for a tilly buddy?


ls1234567

I’ll have a puppers.


predictingzepast

Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er


MastOfDaddy

I like to jerk off but I dont think so there is such a job.


phlamez92

Onlyhands


thrillhouse1211

Fkn gold lol


quaybored

I wish


ArnoldQMudskipper

sperm bank


I_CUM_ON_YOUR_PET

You think the sperm bank want any Reddit dna?


def_of-insanity

He curates the porn, like some kind of horny sommelier


Ok-Singer6121

Criminally underrated comment


Prestigious_Nebula_5

The real twist is you beat him up and your girlfriend gets mad and leaves you for being "too violent".


CheddarValleyRail

I'm over 40 so it's going to look really bad when I beat up this guy who looks like he isn't far out of high school. Oh, and ask him to dress really nice, mind his own business, and I'll be the one who starts the fight. Unprovoked assault. And don't run away after, just lay on the ground motionless. And he can't be shirtless. We need to sneak a *lot* of fake blood into this "fight".


ChipChipington

I’m starting to think you want your girlfriend to leave you


CheddarValleyRail

I'm just a huge fan of community theatre.


Independent-Elk-344

Tobias Funke's burner account


iamzeN123

I just can't stop laughing right now.


sl_1138

This guy girlfriends


mm7145501

Plot twist, $60 bait for a $100,000 civil assault charge. [Just a guess](https://www.losangelespersonalinjurylawyers.co/average-settlement-amounts-assault-and-battery-case-worth/)


KenBoCole

As long as you keep a documented log of your conversations with this guy, I doubt a judge would allow anything that high.


canhasdiy

This is why you should always get a receipt


CaliforniaGiraffe

Assault/battery must be unwanted. Consent negates that element.


Shoddens

altough the guy provokes first so he would be guilty for civil assault. just a guess.


UrMouthsMyShithole

Hmm.. makes me want to provoke rich people into beating the shit out of me..


jmarcandre

You talk like this isn't already a scheme that scammers do. Getting a celebrity to punch you in the face used to be a common bait that aggressive paps would do and then sue them afterward/get a nice settlement.


pie_monster

Problem there is the rich guy's bodyguard beats the shit out of you while they GTFO in their emergency Venus Escape Pod or whatever. Then they blame the bodyguard while you sue them; "fire" him for the duration of the court case (which will end up with you losing for reasons entirely unrelated to the judge's new Lexus); and then rehire him as security sergeant after it's all over.


samuru101

He loves his job


UltimaBahamut93

This guy is going places. Possibly the hospital but man he is sure going.


teddyforeskin

I doubt anyone that has to hire him could put him in the hospital, nam' sayin


Dinglebop223

no regerts


Impossible_Tune_5230

No regrats it’s his creedo nah’saying #scottieP


cbomb111

You do you, Scotty P!


Impossible_Tune_5230

Good ole Scottie P was on We’re the Miller’s last night on tnt or tbs. watched it several times but it’s so much funnier after a blunt. Lol. Got hooked and watched the whole thing again


793lincolnrd

Not even one letter.


2Faded_Pops

ragrets it


Cheddarlicious

Not even a single letter?


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[удалено]


Bakersdaman

I loved this movie lol 😂😂😂 his attitude towards the guy.


JosuRiaku

No Ragrets*


FarmandCityGuy

Fights are incredibly chancy. I've seen some tiny guys send bigger guys to the hospital just due to some lucky (unlucky?) hits in just the right place to fuck someone up. If you are bigger are you going to win the fight? Almost always. But you never know. There are people that are in jail for manslaughter when all they intended was to give the other guy a few bruises in a meaningless drunken fight.


Paah

> There are people that are in jail for manslaughter when all they intended was to give the other guy a few bruises in a meaningless drunken fight. Yeah that's why you don't punch people. There's always a chance of hitting an organ or something badly. It's never safe.


dcotetaos

Well I mean sometimes that’s the point of punching someone, to hurt them


Paah

Well if you are ready to kill them then go for it. But if you don't want to I wouldn't recommend taking the chance.


dcotetaos

How do you usually fight someone if you don’t punch them? Obviously you can just say “ Don’t get in a fight” but I’m saying in a case where that is the only option


[deleted]

[удалено]


BorderlineCreative

What if that’s there kink and they cum so hard a little gets on you. Would we be rethinking our choices then?


dcotetaos

I have done that as well a few times, doesn’t always present itself as an opportunity though. I generally don’t fight people often, but when I do a couple punches aren’t lethal, I don’t hit that hard lol


Poder5

Self punching is a new way of committing suicide?


blackiconwhitesumo

At least he will be able to pay for it


spritefire

There is a missed opportunity here. Have someone you dislike? hire him to go hassle them thinking they are hassling you.


ifiagreedwithu

This is the kind of person I want to hire, literally. This is more applied ingenuity than some people muster in a lifetime.


portage_ferry

He's basically short-cutting capitalism. pay me now to break my body!


humblepharmer

I would say it's a good example of...regular capitalism. He identified a service that people want but currently isn't available, and he's making money from giving people that service


elrulo007

Soon he will make all his friends work for him for 30$ and just keep collecting money. Edit: or better get some masochists who pay him for the service


Plaid_Zucchini

**M**asochist **L**evel **M**asochism


DaveAndCheese

Butter's Bottom Bitch.


grantrules

Do you know what I am saying?


HelloPipl

I keep all the cash because Bitches can't be trusted with it.


BTR_Fan87

I think his point is that instead of doing blue collar work to earn a wage at the expense of ruining his body, he decided to cut out the middle man and have people pay him to fuck up his body directly. He's essentially fast tracked the process.


portage_ferry

edit


Dirkdeking

Why ruin his body? He can arrange the confrontation to be mostly non physical. He comes to harass someones girlfriend, then the guy shouts at him and says stern words, then he runs away like a coward. No injuries involved. Just make sure the police and/or bystanders don't intervene, cause then you'll basically be forced to tell them it was pre arranged to avoid escalation and then your girlfriend will be weirded out.


Gr00mpa

Go back and read the part where he says “rock my shit.’


JonsonPonyman98

I guess that’s just the inherent risk of the situation


portage_ferry

edit


Yeet_for_me

Now I only need to pay a Girlfriend. Perfect


highdefrex

Hire an escort. Hire this guy. Impress the escort by “fighting” this guy. Escort falls in love with you. ???? Profit!


Yeet_for_me

Holy fuck lets Start a Business


damianLillardManiac

Holy fuck let’s fuck


thatnoscopesheriff

Are there franchise opportunities?


Ok-Capital-3912

Crying, thank you for your service.


thatnoscopesheriff

My pleasure.


PanJhinAttack

Literally


MagillaGorillasHat

Crying is $20 extra


VeryHugeBlackPenis

What if the girl feels bad for both you and her boyfriend and wants to make things up by having a threesome ?


VrinTheTerrible

I've seen this documentary


VeryHugeBlackPenis

Me as well, a classic story of mother's love where she patched up things between her son and two thugs who came to jump him.


ijjgiafjidfai

Hump him.


WAHgop

Nothing takes the fight out of a man like DPing his mom.


andreademon

can I do it instead?


the-artistocrat

Not all heroes wear capes. Or shirts.


Merchantmarx

Dude should set a clause for no hitting the face, junk, finger or other sensitive parts. Just big punches at big areas. If clients accidentally hit the sensitive parts, they should pay extra.


LordTwatSlapper

You sound like Ross Gellar establishing the rules of a fight with some Central Perk bullies


couplatreethings

“Question: are we hitting faces?”


SheTran3000

"We were on a break from hitting faces!"


donttextspeaktome

“Wait I’m getting deja vu!”


YourSideBish

Lol for real though right my freind got a concussion and it was rediculas he just kept asking over and over what was going on. Creepy really.


DBoaty

And when you throw the right hook remember to *PIVOT*


xinxy

Of course we're hitting faces. Why wouldn't you hit faces?!


BjornLocke

Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.


VanguardDeezNuts

could it *BE* more crazy?! Cue canned laugh track


money_loo

Friends was filmed in front of a live studio audience.


JustABlankStare

Did you just say.. finger?


Wenex

*ouchie my pinky*


SUPRAP

The italicized, lowercase text on this is killing me, well done bro


UrMouthsMyShithole

Yeah but.. *imagine* you're pointing at somebody and they just FULL force punch your finger *Broooo*


theinfamousches

r/oddlyspecific


Hasby_pro

Small joint manipulation is no joke


Baron_Von_Ishtar

Dontcha hate when you're getting beat up and they punch you right in the finger?


EdithDich

I mean, that could really hurt.


dbbljack

client has to pay any hospital bill. just seems fair. you lose control and break my nose at Sunday brunch you owe me $3060 EDIT: plus stipend for hours spent in hospital, plus tip.


Mira_khalifa_-

He is a hero we deserve but dont need


bankrobba

Plot twist: He's gonna kick yo ass and take yo girl


rockem-sockem-rocket

Hey I need him! What’s his number?


Empirious

https://youtu.be/7sOwfijQ5Lg


EatsonlyPasta

"No thanks Ma'am, I'm actually gay" kills me every time.


WokeUpSomewhereNice

Yesssssss


Huckismydogg

Lots of insecure guys, pretty genius. God bless capitalism


[deleted]

he wouldnt harass my gf. she would whoop his ass for free


octnoir

Are you tired of your girlfriend thinking of herself as a fucking pussy? Well for just a small fee you can prove her wrong, and show her how much of a badass she truly is. Just set up a time and location for me to come harass your girlfriend/you and then BAM she comes in and rocks my shit. Weekdays - $55 Weekends $65


gwillob

Are you tired of thinking of yourself as a fucking pussy? Well for just a small fee you can prove yourself wrong, and show yourself how much of a badass you truly are. Just set up a time and location for Tyler Durden to come harass you (twist, you play the role of Tyler Durden) and then BAM he’ll rock your shit for you, you’ll make love with random stanky snatch, not remember any of it, but you’ll know that you’re no longer gonna follow along with what society tells you you should want, you fucking pussy! BOOKLET WITH INSTRUCTIONS - $14.99 + free cup for any teeth you lose when you get your shit rocked


simjanes2k

Five bucks extra for women, let's gets some fuckin equality goin here


Great-Marionberry769

damn is she a mma fighter or in boxing team ?


[deleted]

she weighs more than 70lbs


Wandering_Hammer

I read that as "more than **700**lbs


predictingzepast

That's a pretty big range..


greycubed

He's saying that any 70lb+ girl could rock the pictured guy.


BauerHouse

He looks pretty punchable


WintertimeFriends

Those wiry dudes can take a punch tho


Doctor__Apocalypse

The twist? He gets off to that shit.


[deleted]

win win for everyone! Nothing better than doing what you love for living!


clockwerkdevil

Capitalism always wins


sjo75

I did this and now my gf picks fights with strangers expecting me to fight them. so i deleted her


anthemoessaa

…deleted her?


gunsagar

What else are you suppose to do with hatsune miku.apk?


Annual_Standard_6781

Fuck this guy. Ill let you kick my ass for 45$ during the week and 50$ on weekends.


PM_me_spare_change

*I’m kicking my ass! Do you mind?*


Leafy0088

You definitely gotta respect a guy with good business ideas


bruisedlefttesti

Not the hero we asked for but certainly the hero we need


Misty_is_my_gf

This didn't work in Nacho Libre and it won't work for you.


jr8787

Reminds me of Futurama


Grrlpants

Piss on me beat me come get a lease and a key


PinkChocoTaco

Try it out


JamesRyanQnsNYC

I guess it beats working in an Amazon warehouse.


fredvanfred

it ain't much but its honest work


SuitcaseSuprise

“If you’re good at something never do it for free.”


Burgendit

Plot twist, you pay him, he hits on your girl and kicks your ass, because he already knows you cant fight


[deleted]

Rock his shit so you could Rock her world


Smugallo

I like how weekdays are 10 dollars cheaper


kummer5peck

Just like the professional beach bully in Futurama


malloryduncan

Dude needs to add an a la carte menu, something like: * gut punch +10 * face punch +25 * anywhere near the crotch +50


forlornself

That seems like a surprisingly reasonable price.


Ironfist08

Take my money


remarkblyunremarkbl

Guy just straight up ripped off Daphne's father's business model from 'Frasier'


Miltiades490

Should definitely have an LLC and Workman’s Comp!


CircusBabysdummy

Plot twist: He’s not gonna let you win.


asisoid

Psh, Futurama already did it.


TRiG993

Entrepreneur. Dude has find a way to get paid for doing what he's best at. Harassing girls.


Rodoc0222

our true lord and savior, has finally revealed himself.