I was dying laughing in an episode I was watching the other day when she’s talking to her niece Ana, whom she caught sneaking out to school wearing a skimpy top. Ana: but all the girls at my school dress this way! Gabby: yes, and that’s why your school nurse is an obstetrician.




when the nun in s2 says something along the lines of money can't buy happiness and gaby responds "sure it can! that's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting!" always takes me out


This is my absolute favorite line!!!


When Carlos denies weight runs in his family and she says "Don't make me pull out the Solis family photo album. It's like a bunch of sea lions posing on a rock!"


This one sends me !!!! Everytime !!!


.Well, I'm sorry my relatives don't measure up to the group of stick-thin drunks that you come from.


That’s my fav Gabby line too!


Talking to the kids after the meeting at the private school. Carlos: Juanita, why don’t you go play with your sister. Gaby: and while you’re at it, tell her she’s Mexican too! Idk why but this cracks me up every time it’s so funny, Juanita just giving her a thumbs up makes me laugh too. Gaby has the best lines.


telling susan " maybe mike misses the coma . " after stealing her entire wedding lmao .


“Well, let’s get you another round!” And then motions to the prison guard like a bartender when Carlos says his tranquilizer is wearing off!


Carlos: "You are paying more attention to your food than you have to me lately", Gabby: "I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother". Carols: "Where are you going?", Gabby: "I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on, and I want to be standing on your mother grave when it hits."


I’m watching the episode where Gabby meets grace and goes out and buys her a purse tells the girls that she bought her “first starter Chanel”. The camera shows her friends faces as they look disgusted except for Renee who is crying her eyes out “you’re such a good mother”


“…did you just say that to my face?”


What’s that in response to? Gah I don’t remember! Time to rewatch it all again!


Think it’s the episode where the kids are sliding down the stairs in a suitcase and the other mum is angry with her. Eva Longoria has such great comic timing!


Yeah, right. I watched this episode a few days ago. The other woman was criticizing her parenting skills because she wasn't watching the kids while they decided to slide down the stairs. She called her a "lousy mother."


For some reason when she says to Carlos: “You’re a self-wiping Mexican!” Carlos says “What does that even mean?” *Gaby throws drink in Carlos’ face* I crack up every time!


Gabrielle: I can't wait for you to pop out that baby because when you do, I am putting you on the first plane back to Shanghai, and you're gonna be on all fours in a rice patty before the epidural wears off


Tell it to my friend “SUE ME”.




So just to be clear, some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the local GasiN'Gulp, and she's going to make sure we're quality people?




Lol there’s so many problems with what she said


That scene where Gabby spent the entire time trashing Wisteria Lane the first time she played poker with the ladies + mary alice. Gabby: I don’t know how you guys do it. Lynette: …do what Gabby: Get out of bed in the morning…I’ve only been here a MONTH 🙄 and I already wanna put a gun to my head \*nudges Mary Alice\* Hah-You know what I mean? 😄😂


I also like the exchange when they are talking about things to do: Bree: “…and of course there is church.” Gaby: “hahahahahahahhahaah church. You can’t be serious. Hahahahhahahaha”


“You can’t dress for church if you want to move the merch”


Sit in a chair an roll lmfao god gabby got the most funniest lines


It's was in season 1 she went to George's pharmacy and took a pregnancy test in the toilet. And a few minutes later when Bree was talking to George, a super loud 'Son of a bitc\*' was screamed out of the toilet. I laughed so hard on that scene.


“I tried ‘poor but happy.’ I wasn’t happy.”


And when she was talking to that nun who tried to seduce Carlos: Nun: “Money can’t buy happiness.” Gaby: “Sure, it can. That’s just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.”


(to Dakota the stripper) "Okay, quick, make out with me!"


ugh making me want to rewatch and i just finished in december 😭


That scene where she’s showing her old modeling photos on her phone to that Girl Scout and skips past the ones of Juanita “that’s my daughter Juanita, don’t know how that got in there” 😂😂




Oops! Gabby must love showing pics of herself so much I get the scenes mixed up 🤣 Still hilarious though!


When juanita was dressed up as a dog to trick or treat and wanted to switch costume to a princess and she said "well you'll go out as that or as a mexican girl and in this neighborhood we know which one will get more candy"


Then it will begin our slow slide from gowns and galas to flip flops and keggers!


“This face is proof of God’s existense” 😂


**“I’ve read the constitution and it does not protect ugly people!”**


“What a faduche”


"Ever since that woman walked into the house, the clocks have stopped working."


when Carlos was heading off to in Gaby's words 'government sponsored sabbatical'


Gaby to Susan: "You can dye that hair all you want, but the grays are just gonna keep coming."


That time when she was looking for a job: Headhunter: “You have experience with children. I have a job at a daycare center.” Gaby: “And deal with other people’s kids? I don’t even like my own.”


Gabby's one-liners are so legendary