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There’s something about the audacity of cheaters parading their affair partners in front of their spouses/partners that is so much more anger inducing than your *usually* clandestine affair. I’m not sure why.
My brother’s soon-to-be-ex wife had an affair with a guy who was my brother’s then-best friend.
1) Apparently she’d always had a crush on Affair Partner. Then why date my brother, marry him, and have kids with him?
2) Evil SIL and Affair Partner conducted much of this affair at my brother’s (and hers at the time) apartment under the lie that she was taking care of AP after he had a procedure done (and while AP’s wife was at work!). Plus, there’s the horrifying nature of them to conduct it in a small apartment that always had my young nieces present.
3) Extra creepy detail: Evil SIL was the maid of honor for Affair Partner’s wife in their wedding only a few months before Crazy SIL admitted to the affair. Oh and AP’s wife was the maid of honor at my brother and evil SIL’s wedding. Bonkers.
4) Evil SIL soon got pregnant with Affair Partner’s kid and now LIVES with him and his wife and their combined 3 children. I actually don’t feel bad for AP’s wife because she apparently only became close friends again with ex-SIL for free childcare. I kinda think she was aware of the whole affair and approved of it. I think they might be polygamous but lacking any sense of healthy boundaries or care for other people.
It’s an infuriating situation that almost killed my brother (he didn’t sleep for over a month). I constantly worried that he’d die in a car crash or workplace accident.
My poor nieces, years on, don’t always cope well with the implosion of their birth family. (Divorce has dragged on for 2.5 years.) There are other bonkers details but I’m running on. Anyway, it took a long time to not want to scream at her when I saw her; I still get that impulse sometimes.
Dear (potential) cheaters, can you at least avoid your spouse’s siblings, parents, friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc. etc.??? Love, the people who have to pick up the pieces in the wake of deceitfulness and betrayal.
TW
My cousin killed himself when he found out his wife and lifelong best friend had been having an affair almost their entire marriage. I still wonder if their two kids are his, but I don't speak to that side of the family (they'd lie anyway)
Oh I really don't know hey! All I know is that the youngest son (the one who I suspected was the affair child) died in a barfight. Had *some anger issues*
Everything else stays under wraps. They're also the racist side of the family so I have zero reason to keep up with them (I used to see their gran like once in 2 years but it's been 6 years since I last saw her thank fork)
No, it isn’t weird to find that funny, especially in a “what the heck?!” way. It was such a strange detail that it just added to my interpretation of the whole thing as “worse than a bad storyline on a soap opera.”
As the World Turns (RIP) on its dumbest day wouldn’t have written this exact thing, and that show had the evil James Steinbeck “die” and come back multiple times.
My brother is better, thank you! I know he’s frustrated that the divorce hasn’t been finalized, but emotionally he’s much healthier now. Since then, he has the girls the majority of the time and can at least limit his contact with evil-SIL through texts about the girls.
It’s complicated the situation, but he also has a new long-term partner, who he started seeing not long after SIL’s pregnancy reveal. (That was not the best Christmas; it was horrifying to see her visibly pregnant only a month after the reveal of the affair.)
On another nice but complicated note (expanding family): my brother and his kind new partner have a one year-old baby girl who is adored by her big sisters, and by all indications, his partner has a good relationship with my older nieces. I don’t know her that well, but I’m liking her more and more. Plus, her family is way calmer and more normal than that of evil-SIL’s. (I think my eldest niece’s extreme shyness around men not her dad stems from being around her alcoholic step-grandfather on that side, especially while in babyhood. It makes my dad feel really sad that she won’t hug him.)
Aside: I wish Niece #3 would let me at least HOLD her! She’s so clingy to her mom and dad and gets upset if they leave her line of sight. Still super-cute, but I wish she’d let me love her!
Oh, and in terms of karma: I’m pretty sure the IRS will eventually nail her for pointedly committing tax fraud by claiming my nieces on her taxes, when they hadn’t lived with her in ages by January of this year. My brother has reported it, but the wheels of justice turn slowly. (Bonus: she also has an addiction to shopping and a penchant for hiding purchases and credit reports, so overall my rating of her is in the sub-basement of feelings about people. She shares her sub-basement with the moles from that Stephen King story about a hidden sub-basement with giant, flying, and mutated rats.)
I had to be nice to her yesterday when she picked up my nieces from several days with me and my parents. It was the uncanny valley version of an in-person interaction. My therapist will be proud of me for focusing on my nieces’ (and brother’s) needs and not on my anger. Ok, me and my anger still need to work our stuff out. I thought that lady was, gee-golly, my “friend” and “sister I never had” because she play-acted normalcy and aw-shucks friendliness.
That's so harsh. I hope you're in a happier, more stable place now. I'm glad for you that you did actually get court-ordered restitution for the money he stole from you, that's a huge win that a lot of people don't get. <3
My god. Why are people so horrible? Why marry the best friend if you have a crush on the other guy? What's the point?
I heard a story yesterday about someone where the wife cheated on him for two years with his best friend. The man takes his kid and leaves to keep the kid away from the drama. THEN wife and AP kidnaps the kid. The man ends up shooting AP to take his kid back. It's just unnecessary avoidable drama. Also super weird? I just find cheaters super weird to begin with.
Have you ever had a *BFF!!!!* Who makes a run at Every. Single. Crush/Date you've ever had? Yeah, that's a thing.
LPT: If you grow up with dysfunctional parents, you tend to find the absolute worst people as "friends".
Yeah - I had a friend who blatantly flirted with a guy I was dating. I didn’t mind because he handled it - he made it clear that he was not at all interested
To make a play for.
"You like that guy?"
(2 days later) "Oh my gosh! Remember that guy? Well, I got his phone number, called him repeatedly and talked to him for 8 hours and now we're dating! Sorrrrrrrrry!"
Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
Apart from not ever wanting to hurt my husband or children in this way, I can’t get over people risking the potential of shit like this. I can’t imagine bringing this type of drama and danger to my husband and children.
At that point it feels like cheating has become a fetish all of its own. They're getting enjoyment from the act of flaunting their new partner in front of their old while they don't know.
It's a very narcissistic "better than you" or "I can play games with you" kind of thing.
Which is so stupid because the only reason they can is because they swore loyalty before family, friends, and God.
My ex wife cheated on me. At first she told me it was a drunken one night stand. I was willing to be open to the idea of moving past it, but it hurt.
Skipping to the end of the story it turned out to instead be a full blown 3 month long affair. At some point she claims she tried to break it off but he started to get really weird and clingy. So her solution was to introduce him to me as just a friend hoping that meeting me would scare him off(I'm kind of a big guy).
Audacity is a good word for what she did that night.
My most recent ex and I were together for a little over five years. One day she decided to order pizza from a place she used to work at. Low and behold, her old “friend” was the delivery guy. I asked if she had kept touch with him since I remembered seeing his name pop up in a notification on her phone a week or so prior. She said no, she hasn’t. A month later, I found her journal. I’ll be the first to admit it was wrong to read it, but we had gotten pretty distant and I honestly just wanted to make sure she was alright inside. Well, I got what I deserved. She was cheating with a fucking pizza delivery guy. I waited, bided my time, got my affairs in order, all while she continued to order pizza from this place but refuses to let me pick it up. She kept having these mysterious “errands” that she’d have to run and always on the days our off days coincided. On my last day with her, I woke her up for work, told her how much I loved her, wrote an entry in her journal confessing what I knew and that I was gone, packed my shit, and left. Where we were staying was under her name, cat was hers, I was more or less just a piggy bank at that point. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was pretty jaded because of this, I don’t know that I’ll date again, at least not seriously or long term. Cheaters suck.
Yeah, I miss my little noodle. I never wanted a pet, but she insisted and I ended up taking care of the kit anyway. We got really close and I cried more over having to leave her than I did ending the relationship at that point. She was technically my first pet and I miss her dearly still. Hope the cats well, however her owner can choke on pizza boy cum for all I care.
It's the thrill of knowing you're taking far more than they've ever agreed to and they not knowing about it. Having them both in the same room, with the spouse/partner completely ignorant of the dynamics, gives them a sense of power at getting away with it.
That's a very easy line to spout that shows about 0 understanding of human psychology. Humans are really good at compartmentalising and for a 100 different reasons. The term sociopath isn't even an official diagnosis anymore.
Been there. Some random guy I’ve never met is one thing, maybe even forgivable. Someone I know, who I’ve shaken hands with, someone who’s looked me in the eye and smiled... that’s a complete lack of respect and brings out those primal urges to destroy everything and everyone. It’s a betrayal on the highest level.
Exactly right! You are never supposed to make your spouse/SO look foolish in front of others and that is exactly what this does. Having that person know that you look foolish because they are sleeping with your partner is the definition of lack of respect and betrayal. Scorched earth is what that SO deserves if they do this.
It’s the fact that the cheater thinks they’re *that* much smarter than the person they’re cheating on. They think they’re so clever to flaunt it right in their face and that they’ve covered their tracks *so well* the person being cheated on couldn’t possibly be smart enough to see actual evidence. And the first time they get away with it is just confirming what they think they know: “I’m so smart and powerful that I’m the exception to the rule that cheaters always get caught. I won’t get caught, cuz I’m smarter than them”
My mom did this to my dad, drove him to drinking and smoking. He had a bad heart attack from that. After he recovered, asked for a divorce. She didn't fight him at all about it. They are both happier now.
My dad did it. Was fucking one of my mom's good friends, who was also married. They even would all 4 go out together. My parents stayed together, I have no idea why. If I was my mom I'd have left his ass. She came close a few times.
That's one of the stupidest cover stories I've ever heard. I mean, y'all got caught red-handed, just say yeah you caught us. And the neighbor dude put an apology note in his mailbox??? I'd lose my shit. Jesus, the balls on these people.
Yeah neither can I. And no one other than my husband, my daughter, my mother and my sister to even touch my pregnant belly without my shirt covering it. Like bare belly? No fuckin way. It's uncomfortable for my to let my MIL touch it but I allow it because I do love her and I know she's just excited. But she has to ask! And it's always clothed! There's no way in hell I would let anyone else do it.
And maybe an OBGYN (nurse, radiologist, etc) in a medical setting for strictly medical reasons. There's no legit reason why someone other than the spouse would be running lotion on a woman's pregnant belly, in private, on the D.L. So gross!
Meanwhile, when my wife was pregnant, she had to physically remove strangers hands from her belly in public on more than one occasion - because random creepo *strangers* (usually older women) would walk up to her and just effing touch her stomach. So friggin creepy.
This and everyone trying to be in the delivery room. Not sure why so many people feel OTHER people's pregnancy are free for all spectator events. Both seem quite intimate and not something I would want to do or be a part of unless I knew the person well and that person insisted.
My daughter gave birth to her daughter pretty young and was not in a relationship with the father, yet the father's mom was fully expecting to be in the delivery room as she was giving birth. She had never met this woman before that day. Me and her stepmom had to get the nurses to ask her to leave because my daughter was in a lot of labor pain and was super uncomfortable about her being there. The nurses kicked all three of us out and asked my daughter privately whom she wanted by her side. She said that she wanted both me and stepmom (who is super sweet and a great mom to my daughter and her half siblings). We flanked her in both sides during her surprisingly short labor and I was beyond thrilled that the nurse handed me my granddaughter immediately after she was born, while stepmom was helping my daughter through the afterbirth and recovery. I still can't believe the dad's mom thought she was going to stay in what was technically a complete stranger's birth. Very grateful that the nurses were able to handle it quickly and professionally!
I don't ever expect, or want, to get pregnant but if this situation ever happened to me I would just start touching them back. They put their hands on my belly, I'll put my hands on theirs. Maybe ask when they are due, if they are a bit overweight or chubby, or make extra rude comments about how they seem to be retaining water that day or look particularly bloated if they happen to be thin. Maybe suggest they might be constipated. I'd be sure to seem extra concerned that they get their condition checked by a doctor as I rub my hand over their abdomen. That way they can experience how inappropriate it is to have strangers touch you and comment on your body. I would make it so embarrassing and uncomfortable they wouldn't dare do that again to anyone.
This is why I tell people I'm infertile when they do this to me when I'm pregnant. Now we're both uncomfortable and hopefully they won't do it to anyone else again.
Lmao that’s so good. I’m pregnant currently and starting to show…when some stranger inevitably comes up to rub my belly I’m going to tell them it’s actually a fecal impaction ❤️
Haha, I like the cut of your jib. Now I wanna name my digestive system something so I can blame it whenever I'm having an IBS flare up, haha. Thanks to the "IT Crowd", my wife calls her period "Aunt Irma".
Haha, I'm a cis dude with r/IBS and I definitely get "food babies" sometimes due to overeating, gas, and/or an IBS flare up. Your plan sounds hilarious!
And if that stranger comes back up to you again when you're pushing a stroller and calls you out for calling your baby a "fecal impaction" be sure to tell them that they *obviously misheard you* when you told them you had a fetal impaction. LOL.
Your wife should touch back and say she feels a cheeseburger and shake in the offenders stomach. Or say you must be a Russian doll because there’s a piece of shit in a piece of shift.
Yeah I have a *ton* of in-laws, my wife is 9 of 13 and everyone is married and most have multiple kids (catholic lol). In fact rn I’m babysitting for an in-laws who is being induced. Another sister had a kid yesterday, another sister due in a few days. Point is, I’m around a lot of pregnant ladies, and have been for the 5 years of marriage I’ve been in.
Never once touched a pregnant belly. No woman has been like “hey touch” and I’ve never been like “let me touch your tummy”. Weird.
Incidentally, few weeks ago one of my wife’s old highschool besties had a baby shower, and I discovered something about myself when I saw very pregnant lady in a one piece. My wife still hasn’t stopped giving me shit
Ah yes, I almost forgot. Let's talk about OOP's wife's willingness to take advantage of Sally to do chores around the house for her so she can fuck her husband. No remorse there. Absolute garbage.
I honestly feel worse for Sally. OOP got standard cheating, which is never ever good, but Sally got used by both cheaters and her pos husband was trying to impregnate another woman because she was "infertile".
Thank god the baby was OOP's it gave him a silver lining which he desperately needed while sadly Sally was left out in the cold.
Sally definitely got a raw deal, I hope she's been healing and is living her best life. Now she is 100% free to get out there and make some REAL friends (like OOP) and have the support system she deserves.
I don't think OOP had a silver lining on the baby being his. He now has to stay in touch with his abusive, cheating ex while supporting her financially. And if he's a good parent he'll have to swallow his dignity and pretend like his ex is a good person in front of his daughter.
He was talking about suicide before the baby was born. After she was born and confirmed his his attitude brightens up. He has a reason to live again and he even says he is doing "good" at the end.
If that is not a silver lining I do not know what is.
For his short term mental health, having the child absolutely helped, but long term it would have been better for him not to have had a child with that person.
He would have dug out of his mental depression eventually after having worked through the emotional damage, now his just pushed it to the side and will eventually have to confront those feelings later anyway.
Plus, because of his financial obligations to his ex, it's going to be harder for him to start another relationship and have a child that he can raise in his own house (like he obviously wanted).
>Thank god the baby was OOP's it gave him a silver lining which he desperately needed while sadly Sally was left out in the cold.
I dunno, id rather not be tied to that cheating PoS for 18 years, id rather the baby was the assholes, let them handle it, clean break.
Yes!! I think part of the reason I love BORU is that despite horrible behavior, your find these angels. You find friendship and preserverance... all really important to note during times of great adversity even in our personal lives. "Look for the helpers" ❤
I almost wished it wasn't his child so he can get a clean break. Must have been very difficult to still proceed with the divorce knowing you have a newborn to raise together.
On the flip side though, ~~c\*cksucker~~ neighbor has been technically rubbing OOP's child (in his ex-wife's belly) all this time. Creepy in hindsight.
This happens more than people realize.
Fertility is a fickle thing. Sally may have fertility problems all on her own, but with the right man the odds of conceiving can go up significantly.
Yeah if he was sure Sally was infertile he would have blabbed about it and played up the victimhood drama but he zipped his lip which makes me think he suspected his own virility issues.
Yep.
Almost nothing is wanted in a vacuum, we want things with implicit conditions attached to them. Even wanting a hundred billion dollars is wanted with the implicit condition that the money is still valuable.
In this case, if OP wanted to be a father it was with the implicit condition of being together with the child's mother, building on their family and growing together for the rest of their lives. The conditions changed. Those requirements are no longer being met.
I agree. He sounded devastated thinking he'd lost his wife and the baby he was emotionally invested in. It sounds like his daughter has given him something to focus on.
I have no sympathy for his ex though. She and her lover brought it all on themselves.
I hope OOP and Sally find great partners.
That second post was hinting that if it wasn’t his kid there would be nothing keeping him from suicide. So, I’m glad the child was his. He now has more of a chance to heal.
Honestly I'm glad it's his, too. Even if it ties him to his ex forever, he seemed to want his child from the beginning, and that at least wasn't taken from him.
Yeah, I too was wishing for that. Being tied to such a sh*t woman for the rest of his life sucks but he sounds like he's going to be an awesome dad. It'd be awesome if he ended up dating Sally and both lived a happy life.
My parents adopted me then divorced when I was 1. My dad says My mom cheated on him with my now stepdad and would berate, yell, corner her and accuse her constantly. He's a micromanaging, extremely abusive narcissistic asshole to boot so it was her last straw and she filed for divorce. From how my dad has spoken about it over the years it honestly sounds like he was just threatened my stepdad was a good looking guy a thousand times more interesting and kind than he was and his self consciousness transferred into unjust jealousy and rage.
Admittedly my mom and stepdad probably should have waited a little bit to begin dating but she needed his support and at rhe very least had feelings for him already, but I know my mother, the chances of her cheating on her partner are literally zero, no matter how terrible they are. Even if she did I can't even say I'd blame her, she just wanted stability. This only made my dad angrier and he is literally still bitter and angry to this day. My mom had to go the next 3 years through all of that while also raising me, going through graduate school and beginning her special Ed teaching career, then getting married to my stepdad and gaining 2 more young children (my siblings) for them to care for.
Funnily enough, my mom and dad divorced, my stepdad and his crazy ass ex wife divorced. My mom and stepdad got together(and still are, still deeply in love)... my dad and crazy ex wife began dating out of spite for a month. The basis to all long lasting relationships! lol.
I'm always amazed at her tenacity, I hope this guy was able to find the same strength.
I know it's been 3 years and he won't update, but I'm genuinely curious if the kid is his or not...
With therapy and hard work, this can become anyone. We all deserve to treat ourselves with respect. For many of us, myself included, our self respect has been based on the love we're given rather than just deserving it as we are. So, when the love we were given was snatched away, it became an imperative, second only to survival (and sometimes not even that), to reclaim that love at any cost.
I deserve to be treated with the love and kindness I want, most especially by myself. If that's solid, I can find the strength to be okay walking away when someone else treats me poorly and disrespectfully. I'm making progress, and you can too, human!
As bad as I feel for OOP, my heart breaks for Sally.
Imagine not only your husband cheating and possibly impregnating your neighbor while you’re dealing with infertility, but also him TAKING YOU OVER TO HER HOUSE TO DO CHORES FOR HER WHILE HE PLAYS DADDY. That’s seriously fucked up.
I hope she’s doing a lot better these days.
He was going to be the very best uncle ever to that kid. The two families would become besties and Sally and her husband would be like godparents. I bet $5 that was the idea.
Sad thing is I pulled that scenario out of my ass so quick because I've seen it happen in real life more than once. A joke in my family is that "godfather" is the name you give the biological dad.
Yes. Some neighbors I talk to because our kids play together, and like I said the older ones never stop talking when they see me ha, but most literally never leave their house. Could also be because I moved to the neighborhood when Covid hit.
Part of me was hoping OOP wasn't the father and he could make a clean break from the ex-wife. Bummer.
I hope he can help Sally get a support system. Being infertile and knowing your husband thought he was another woman's baby daddy can't be easy.
Sometimes it's both. My fiance failed to get a prior partner pregnant despite actively trying. She got pregnant shortly after they split with another partner. I have a genetic disorder that makes carrying to term extremely difficult. Between the two of us we're not even going to try to have kids.
Yes, but wife said that Sally was infertile. It sounds like the neighbors tried and looked into it a bit to find out why it didn't happen. So while in general it is entirely possible that the guy is infertile, that isn't the case here.
A few weeks ago I read post here about a similar theme, a woman being pregnant and leaving her dumb ass husband and starting over... With a due date for the baby in early 2020. Then I was like damn, I hope they did OK. It must've been way more rough than she anticipated.
I pity both Sally and OOP here.
Cocksucker is an absolute coward and ex wife was trash. This is something I never understood about cheaters. You want to fuck around? Cool. Why trap people in a relationship if you are going to fuck with some randos? How selfish and narcissistic you have to be to do this?
I wish both Sally and OOP can heal from this somehow.
No lmao. You don't know cheaters at all. There's two main reasons people cheat: insecurity and dissatisfaction in their current relationship while being too cowardly to fix those issues. Insecurity = stuff like "I love my partner, but I'm worried they don't love me as much. I should have sex with someone else to prove to myself that I'll be able to get a backup if they leave me. It will also prove that I'm desirable and my partner DOES value me". Dissatisfaction = "I'm not actually in love with my partner so I'm going to have sex with random people because they make me feel tingly or because I just don't take my relationship seriously, but I'm too cowardly to break up with my partner".
As you can see, neither of these options encourage the cheater to break up with their partner.
Poor kid, born into an absolute shit show. I hope OOP has grown to be able to love their child, but still the anger, pain, and resentment between the parents is going to be noticeable, I hope the kid doesn't blame themselves for it.
That kid is probably going to grow up, learn what her mother did, and have an immense amount of disdain for her mother. That kid couldve had a perfectly normal life with a stable family but her mother took that away from her before she ever got to experience it.
Oof, as soon as I read what he walked in on, I thought neighbour is rubbing his baby and knew shit was about to get bad for Op. I hope he can be a great coparent with minimal interaction with his ex.
The saddest thing about this is Ops ex wife more than likely didn't even like dude let alone "loved" him. He was the neighbor so he was at the time pretty convenient. She probably just wanted attention. From the sound of it he was more than willing to give it. Although she could have easily called a friend, found a hobby, spent more time with family. Dare I say it, even spending time with her husband. But no, she ruined not one, but two marriages for attention and more than likely mediocre sex too. DAMN
Good lord, though. If I want attention and my husband isn't around, I cuddle the dog and wait for husband. Not bring another man into my bed. I will never understand people who blow up their happy lives for a random piece of ass! If she loved the guy, you can kinda understand. But for a freakin FWB situation. Sheesh.
Yeah, sometimes it would be nice (in an alt-universe way) if that app that rated people from “Black Mirror” (episode with Bryce Dallas Howard and Alice Eve), which based one’s ratings on actions, behaviors, popularity, other stuff, was a real thing. (Granted, a similar app on “Community” was also not a success story!)
neighbour probably got involved specifically for the chance to impregnate her if his wife was infertile, with him coming over to do "daddy duty" on her
I'm honestly kinda bummed the daughter is OPs because now he'll have to coparent with that awful woman, and one day the daughter will want to know why they aren't together. Just a terrible situation
Unpopular opinion but I never understand these “X was a horrible spouse but will make a good parent” takes after cheating like this. No. Just no. Your spouse betrayed you, wouldn’t have admitted it unless caught, and is now supposed to be a pillar of integrity and moral guidance for your daughter? Press X to doubt.
This. A lot of cheaters I know take time away from their children to choose another person. If you have time for an affair, you’re a shitty parent. Pick your kids up, take them out. Spend time with them. If you’re actually putting your time where it should be, you wouldn’t be having an affair.
This is why I couldn’t forgive my dad and I was in high school. It is more for my younger brother and sister who were ten years younger than me and could’ve really used his attention.
I have never visibly shaken in anger as much as I did when I read this. I dunno if it's cause I have been cheated on before and been lied too and that's just showing or the fact that he was coming over for DADDY DUTIES BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE HIS. In what fuckin world can you go about your day without feeling like the biggest most guilty piece of shit in the world...
The audacity of some people sheesh...
This made me cry. No one deserves to go through that kind of emotional torture. You must have been in an incredibly dark mind set, I’m glad you’ve made it through that period and are still alive today.
> [He] still refused to speak to Sally directly. According to her, the last thing that was passed along to her is that he understands what he did, he's sorry he hurt her, he loves her and won't contest a divorce.
Wow, that is "I don't love you" in a nutshell. She has to do all the work. He says all these emotional things but can't put himself out for any interaction -- even a divorce has to be all on her.
This story lives in my brain rent free. I am just shocked at the absolute betrayal by this woman. It’s so beyond a “normal” affair because she was heavily fuckin pregnant. Just… why?! STOPPIT. What a way to absolutely ruin a marriage and make a person question their child before they’re even in the world.
I really hope OP is in therapy, enjoying his daughter, and has found a way to get some peace in life.
So glad he called in to work that first day. He might never have found out. I also don’t believe her about not being together for months. Dude needs to take to social media because I’m betting she has already made a story about what happenedd
Oh holy fuck. The idea that there was a chance that the baby might be the neighbor’s never crossed my mind till the moment he revealed it. I think I thought it was going to turn out to be a fetish of some sort.
Good for OOP that he was able to deal with all of us. It's ashame that due to the child he can't get a clean break from his ex-wife and move on with his life.
Yeah, cheated several times, lied for months, planning on lying about the kid, gaslit the hubby, and obviously, hurting a innocent neighbour too(Sally). Not sure how she thought it would go.
Like if you're married why cheat, well people I guess are really stupid and inconsiderate... But why without protection then isn't that just being completely dilusional, I guess to chest you need to lack some sort of common sense in the first place.
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There’s something about the audacity of cheaters parading their affair partners in front of their spouses/partners that is so much more anger inducing than your *usually* clandestine affair. I’m not sure why.
My brother’s soon-to-be-ex wife had an affair with a guy who was my brother’s then-best friend. 1) Apparently she’d always had a crush on Affair Partner. Then why date my brother, marry him, and have kids with him? 2) Evil SIL and Affair Partner conducted much of this affair at my brother’s (and hers at the time) apartment under the lie that she was taking care of AP after he had a procedure done (and while AP’s wife was at work!). Plus, there’s the horrifying nature of them to conduct it in a small apartment that always had my young nieces present. 3) Extra creepy detail: Evil SIL was the maid of honor for Affair Partner’s wife in their wedding only a few months before Crazy SIL admitted to the affair. Oh and AP’s wife was the maid of honor at my brother and evil SIL’s wedding. Bonkers. 4) Evil SIL soon got pregnant with Affair Partner’s kid and now LIVES with him and his wife and their combined 3 children. I actually don’t feel bad for AP’s wife because she apparently only became close friends again with ex-SIL for free childcare. I kinda think she was aware of the whole affair and approved of it. I think they might be polygamous but lacking any sense of healthy boundaries or care for other people. It’s an infuriating situation that almost killed my brother (he didn’t sleep for over a month). I constantly worried that he’d die in a car crash or workplace accident. My poor nieces, years on, don’t always cope well with the implosion of their birth family. (Divorce has dragged on for 2.5 years.) There are other bonkers details but I’m running on. Anyway, it took a long time to not want to scream at her when I saw her; I still get that impulse sometimes. Dear (potential) cheaters, can you at least avoid your spouse’s siblings, parents, friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc. etc.??? Love, the people who have to pick up the pieces in the wake of deceitfulness and betrayal.
TW My cousin killed himself when he found out his wife and lifelong best friend had been having an affair almost their entire marriage. I still wonder if their two kids are his, but I don't speak to that side of the family (they'd lie anyway)
I'm so sorry for your loss this is horrific. Have they AT LEAST shown any shame or remorse for what they've done?
Oh I wouldn't know, haven't seen them since! But I assume it's under the rug because they put everything there
What genuinely horrible people. Are they together now?
Oh I really don't know hey! All I know is that the youngest son (the one who I suspected was the affair child) died in a barfight. Had *some anger issues* Everything else stays under wraps. They're also the racist side of the family so I have zero reason to keep up with them (I used to see their gran like once in 2 years but it's been 6 years since I last saw her thank fork)
I’m so sorry for your loss, thats heartbreaking! I hope karma comes back on them ten fold!!
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That is messed up, holy crap. That poor man. ~~(Is it weird I find the free childcare thing sort of funny in light of how awful everything else is?)~~
No, it isn’t weird to find that funny, especially in a “what the heck?!” way. It was such a strange detail that it just added to my interpretation of the whole thing as “worse than a bad storyline on a soap opera.” As the World Turns (RIP) on its dumbest day wouldn’t have written this exact thing, and that show had the evil James Steinbeck “die” and come back multiple times.
Is your brother okay now? How is he doing? Did that b!tch get any karma?
My brother is better, thank you! I know he’s frustrated that the divorce hasn’t been finalized, but emotionally he’s much healthier now. Since then, he has the girls the majority of the time and can at least limit his contact with evil-SIL through texts about the girls. It’s complicated the situation, but he also has a new long-term partner, who he started seeing not long after SIL’s pregnancy reveal. (That was not the best Christmas; it was horrifying to see her visibly pregnant only a month after the reveal of the affair.) On another nice but complicated note (expanding family): my brother and his kind new partner have a one year-old baby girl who is adored by her big sisters, and by all indications, his partner has a good relationship with my older nieces. I don’t know her that well, but I’m liking her more and more. Plus, her family is way calmer and more normal than that of evil-SIL’s. (I think my eldest niece’s extreme shyness around men not her dad stems from being around her alcoholic step-grandfather on that side, especially while in babyhood. It makes my dad feel really sad that she won’t hug him.) Aside: I wish Niece #3 would let me at least HOLD her! She’s so clingy to her mom and dad and gets upset if they leave her line of sight. Still super-cute, but I wish she’d let me love her! Oh, and in terms of karma: I’m pretty sure the IRS will eventually nail her for pointedly committing tax fraud by claiming my nieces on her taxes, when they hadn’t lived with her in ages by January of this year. My brother has reported it, but the wheels of justice turn slowly. (Bonus: she also has an addiction to shopping and a penchant for hiding purchases and credit reports, so overall my rating of her is in the sub-basement of feelings about people. She shares her sub-basement with the moles from that Stephen King story about a hidden sub-basement with giant, flying, and mutated rats.) I had to be nice to her yesterday when she picked up my nieces from several days with me and my parents. It was the uncanny valley version of an in-person interaction. My therapist will be proud of me for focusing on my nieces’ (and brother’s) needs and not on my anger. Ok, me and my anger still need to work our stuff out. I thought that lady was, gee-golly, my “friend” and “sister I never had” because she play-acted normalcy and aw-shucks friendliness.
I am so happy for your brother. I hope he thrives and thr evil SIL gets slapped with karma (they always do).
Me too!! He’s not perfect and can be such a stubborn goofball, but he’s my gosh-darn nice little brother and is a real softy.
Any chance she's dragging the divorce so he gets stuck with her debt?! What an awful bunch, glad your brother found love again.
I know exactly what you mean about the king story with the sub-sub basements, that story has stuck with me for the *longest* time
My fave story from that collection will ALWAYS be *Dolan's Cadillac*. Or was that from *Different Seasons*? Whatever.
Totally not the most important point in your comment, but Graveyard Shift is fantastic!
What took the divorce so long?
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That's so harsh. I hope you're in a happier, more stable place now. I'm glad for you that you did actually get court-ordered restitution for the money he stole from you, that's a huge win that a lot of people don't get. <3
My god. Why are people so horrible? Why marry the best friend if you have a crush on the other guy? What's the point? I heard a story yesterday about someone where the wife cheated on him for two years with his best friend. The man takes his kid and leaves to keep the kid away from the drama. THEN wife and AP kidnaps the kid. The man ends up shooting AP to take his kid back. It's just unnecessary avoidable drama. Also super weird? I just find cheaters super weird to begin with.
Have you ever had a *BFF!!!!* Who makes a run at Every. Single. Crush/Date you've ever had? Yeah, that's a thing. LPT: If you grow up with dysfunctional parents, you tend to find the absolute worst people as "friends".
My sister would always do this
Yeah - I had a friend who blatantly flirted with a guy I was dating. I didn’t mind because he handled it - he made it clear that he was not at all interested
What does "make a run" mean in this context?
To make a play for. "You like that guy?" (2 days later) "Oh my gosh! Remember that guy? Well, I got his phone number, called him repeatedly and talked to him for 8 hours and now we're dating! Sorrrrrrrrry!" Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
Damn! That's awful. Thanks for the explaination
Flirt, seduce, try to win over to them away from you, etc.. basically wants to own everyone that ever showed preference for you
Apart from not ever wanting to hurt my husband or children in this way, I can’t get over people risking the potential of shit like this. I can’t imagine bringing this type of drama and danger to my husband and children.
They married so they had a fallback caretaker. Literal free lunch.
> Evil SIL soon got pregnant with Affair Partner’s kid and now LIVES with him **and his wife and their combined 3 children** Say what now?
*polyamorous
At that point it feels like cheating has become a fetish all of its own. They're getting enjoyment from the act of flaunting their new partner in front of their old while they don't know.
It's a very narcissistic "better than you" or "I can play games with you" kind of thing. Which is so stupid because the only reason they can is because they swore loyalty before family, friends, and God.
It has elements of playing with power dynamics and taboo, which are the core like 99% of other fetishes.
My ex wife cheated on me. At first she told me it was a drunken one night stand. I was willing to be open to the idea of moving past it, but it hurt. Skipping to the end of the story it turned out to instead be a full blown 3 month long affair. At some point she claims she tried to break it off but he started to get really weird and clingy. So her solution was to introduce him to me as just a friend hoping that meeting me would scare him off(I'm kind of a big guy). Audacity is a good word for what she did that night.
My most recent ex and I were together for a little over five years. One day she decided to order pizza from a place she used to work at. Low and behold, her old “friend” was the delivery guy. I asked if she had kept touch with him since I remembered seeing his name pop up in a notification on her phone a week or so prior. She said no, she hasn’t. A month later, I found her journal. I’ll be the first to admit it was wrong to read it, but we had gotten pretty distant and I honestly just wanted to make sure she was alright inside. Well, I got what I deserved. She was cheating with a fucking pizza delivery guy. I waited, bided my time, got my affairs in order, all while she continued to order pizza from this place but refuses to let me pick it up. She kept having these mysterious “errands” that she’d have to run and always on the days our off days coincided. On my last day with her, I woke her up for work, told her how much I loved her, wrote an entry in her journal confessing what I knew and that I was gone, packed my shit, and left. Where we were staying was under her name, cat was hers, I was more or less just a piggy bank at that point. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was pretty jaded because of this, I don’t know that I’ll date again, at least not seriously or long term. Cheaters suck.
Damn, I feel bad for the cat too.
Yeah, I miss my little noodle. I never wanted a pet, but she insisted and I ended up taking care of the kit anyway. We got really close and I cried more over having to leave her than I did ending the relationship at that point. She was technically my first pet and I miss her dearly still. Hope the cats well, however her owner can choke on pizza boy cum for all I care.
It's the thrill of knowing you're taking far more than they've ever agreed to and they not knowing about it. Having them both in the same room, with the spouse/partner completely ignorant of the dynamics, gives them a sense of power at getting away with it.
Ah, I see you too have had experience with BPD, Narcissists and Sociopaths.
Because it's something only a shameless, zero-empathy sociopath would do. Anyone with a heart could not possibly be comfortable in that situation
That's a very easy line to spout that shows about 0 understanding of human psychology. Humans are really good at compartmentalising and for a 100 different reasons. The term sociopath isn't even an official diagnosis anymore.
Been there. Some random guy I’ve never met is one thing, maybe even forgivable. Someone I know, who I’ve shaken hands with, someone who’s looked me in the eye and smiled... that’s a complete lack of respect and brings out those primal urges to destroy everything and everyone. It’s a betrayal on the highest level.
Exactly right! You are never supposed to make your spouse/SO look foolish in front of others and that is exactly what this does. Having that person know that you look foolish because they are sleeping with your partner is the definition of lack of respect and betrayal. Scorched earth is what that SO deserves if they do this.
It’s the fact that the cheater thinks they’re *that* much smarter than the person they’re cheating on. They think they’re so clever to flaunt it right in their face and that they’ve covered their tracks *so well* the person being cheated on couldn’t possibly be smart enough to see actual evidence. And the first time they get away with it is just confirming what they think they know: “I’m so smart and powerful that I’m the exception to the rule that cheaters always get caught. I won’t get caught, cuz I’m smarter than them”
It’s the element of deliberate cruelty, like there may be a perverse satisfaction or turn-on the cheaters get from it.
My mom did this to my dad, drove him to drinking and smoking. He had a bad heart attack from that. After he recovered, asked for a divorce. She didn't fight him at all about it. They are both happier now.
My dad did it. Was fucking one of my mom's good friends, who was also married. They even would all 4 go out together. My parents stayed together, I have no idea why. If I was my mom I'd have left his ass. She came close a few times.
It's simple - at least when they're clandestine about it they're showing *some* form of shame.
That's one of the stupidest cover stories I've ever heard. I mean, y'all got caught red-handed, just say yeah you caught us. And the neighbor dude put an apology note in his mailbox??? I'd lose my shit. Jesus, the balls on these people.
I can’t think of anyone other than my husband that I’d allow rub lotion on my pregnant belly.
Well, you are smart enough to combine "husband" and "father of my child" into one person - or at least you left no doubt.
That snark is fire. ❤️🔥
Most aggressive snark in the whole snocean
Can you combine them into three people?
what in the mama mia?!
If you're a Telogonist, it could be hundreds of people, I suppose: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telegony\_(theory)
TIL
Yeah neither can I. And no one other than my husband, my daughter, my mother and my sister to even touch my pregnant belly without my shirt covering it. Like bare belly? No fuckin way. It's uncomfortable for my to let my MIL touch it but I allow it because I do love her and I know she's just excited. But she has to ask! And it's always clothed! There's no way in hell I would let anyone else do it.
And maybe an OBGYN (nurse, radiologist, etc) in a medical setting for strictly medical reasons. There's no legit reason why someone other than the spouse would be running lotion on a woman's pregnant belly, in private, on the D.L. So gross! Meanwhile, when my wife was pregnant, she had to physically remove strangers hands from her belly in public on more than one occasion - because random creepo *strangers* (usually older women) would walk up to her and just effing touch her stomach. So friggin creepy.
This and everyone trying to be in the delivery room. Not sure why so many people feel OTHER people's pregnancy are free for all spectator events. Both seem quite intimate and not something I would want to do or be a part of unless I knew the person well and that person insisted.
My daughter gave birth to her daughter pretty young and was not in a relationship with the father, yet the father's mom was fully expecting to be in the delivery room as she was giving birth. She had never met this woman before that day. Me and her stepmom had to get the nurses to ask her to leave because my daughter was in a lot of labor pain and was super uncomfortable about her being there. The nurses kicked all three of us out and asked my daughter privately whom she wanted by her side. She said that she wanted both me and stepmom (who is super sweet and a great mom to my daughter and her half siblings). We flanked her in both sides during her surprisingly short labor and I was beyond thrilled that the nurse handed me my granddaughter immediately after she was born, while stepmom was helping my daughter through the afterbirth and recovery. I still can't believe the dad's mom thought she was going to stay in what was technically a complete stranger's birth. Very grateful that the nurses were able to handle it quickly and professionally!
Glad it went well and the nurses handled it!
I don't ever expect, or want, to get pregnant but if this situation ever happened to me I would just start touching them back. They put their hands on my belly, I'll put my hands on theirs. Maybe ask when they are due, if they are a bit overweight or chubby, or make extra rude comments about how they seem to be retaining water that day or look particularly bloated if they happen to be thin. Maybe suggest they might be constipated. I'd be sure to seem extra concerned that they get their condition checked by a doctor as I rub my hand over their abdomen. That way they can experience how inappropriate it is to have strangers touch you and comment on your body. I would make it so embarrassing and uncomfortable they wouldn't dare do that again to anyone.
Will you record that for us, pretty please? 🤣
This is why I tell people I'm infertile when they do this to me when I'm pregnant. Now we're both uncomfortable and hopefully they won't do it to anyone else again.
Lmao that’s so good. I’m pregnant currently and starting to show…when some stranger inevitably comes up to rub my belly I’m going to tell them it’s actually a fecal impaction ❤️
“Oh, when are you due?” “That’s just my cyst.”
>“Oh, when are you due?” Whenever the laxatives kick in!
I have called my impacted poo “Steve”.
Haha, I like the cut of your jib. Now I wanna name my digestive system something so I can blame it whenever I'm having an IBS flare up, haha. Thanks to the "IT Crowd", my wife calls her period "Aunt Irma".
Haha, I'm a cis dude with r/IBS and I definitely get "food babies" sometimes due to overeating, gas, and/or an IBS flare up. Your plan sounds hilarious!
And if that stranger comes back up to you again when you're pushing a stroller and calls you out for calling your baby a "fecal impaction" be sure to tell them that they *obviously misheard you* when you told them you had a fetal impaction. LOL.
Your wife should touch back and say she feels a cheeseburger and shake in the offenders stomach. Or say you must be a Russian doll because there’s a piece of shit in a piece of shift.
Yeah I have a *ton* of in-laws, my wife is 9 of 13 and everyone is married and most have multiple kids (catholic lol). In fact rn I’m babysitting for an in-laws who is being induced. Another sister had a kid yesterday, another sister due in a few days. Point is, I’m around a lot of pregnant ladies, and have been for the 5 years of marriage I’ve been in. Never once touched a pregnant belly. No woman has been like “hey touch” and I’ve never been like “let me touch your tummy”. Weird. Incidentally, few weeks ago one of my wife’s old highschool besties had a baby shower, and I discovered something about myself when I saw very pregnant lady in a one piece. My wife still hasn’t stopped giving me shit
well, depending on culture people might be more comfortable with that with friends or family random neighbor dude? you'd have to be _really_ open
Not even my mother, it seems too intimate
That was more direct contact than he gave Sally, the POS
Ah yes, I almost forgot. Let's talk about OOP's wife's willingness to take advantage of Sally to do chores around the house for her so she can fuck her husband. No remorse there. Absolute garbage.
I honestly feel worse for Sally. OOP got standard cheating, which is never ever good, but Sally got used by both cheaters and her pos husband was trying to impregnate another woman because she was "infertile". Thank god the baby was OOP's it gave him a silver lining which he desperately needed while sadly Sally was left out in the cold.
Sally definitely got a raw deal, I hope she's been healing and is living her best life. Now she is 100% free to get out there and make some REAL friends (like OOP) and have the support system she deserves.
I don't think OOP had a silver lining on the baby being his. He now has to stay in touch with his abusive, cheating ex while supporting her financially. And if he's a good parent he'll have to swallow his dignity and pretend like his ex is a good person in front of his daughter.
He was talking about suicide before the baby was born. After she was born and confirmed his his attitude brightens up. He has a reason to live again and he even says he is doing "good" at the end. If that is not a silver lining I do not know what is.
For his short term mental health, having the child absolutely helped, but long term it would have been better for him not to have had a child with that person. He would have dug out of his mental depression eventually after having worked through the emotional damage, now his just pushed it to the side and will eventually have to confront those feelings later anyway. Plus, because of his financial obligations to his ex, it's going to be harder for him to start another relationship and have a child that he can raise in his own house (like he obviously wanted).
Children are not a cure for suicidality, and having that mentality will never be a healthy one.
>Thank god the baby was OOP's it gave him a silver lining which he desperately needed while sadly Sally was left out in the cold. I dunno, id rather not be tied to that cheating PoS for 18 years, id rather the baby was the assholes, let them handle it, clean break.
Seriously. Why are people garbage?
For real, it makes me sad, but there is good in the world, at least Sally is an absolute angel and I love her so much.
Yes!! I think part of the reason I love BORU is that despite horrible behavior, your find these angels. You find friendship and preserverance... all really important to note during times of great adversity even in our personal lives. "Look for the helpers" ❤
In the words of shaggy: “it wasn’t me”
Narcissist tend to believe they're smarter then everyone else. They probably really thought they were just too smart to actually get caught.
What a mess... I'm glad OOP stood his ground. Boundaries are important and so is respect.
I almost wished it wasn't his child so he can get a clean break. Must have been very difficult to still proceed with the divorce knowing you have a newborn to raise together.
SAME HERE, it's almost unfair for OOP
On the flip side though, ~~c\*cksucker~~ neighbor has been technically rubbing OOP's child (in his ex-wife's belly) all this time. Creepy in hindsight.
Cocksucker probably felt terrible when he found out the baby wasn’t his, so tiny silver lining?
Then if Sally wants kids I hope she finds someone new and fantastic and immediately gets pregnant
This happens more than people realize. Fertility is a fickle thing. Sally may have fertility problems all on her own, but with the right man the odds of conceiving can go up significantly.
Probably him that's infertile
Probably why he never said anything about it
Yeah if he was sure Sally was infertile he would have blabbed about it and played up the victimhood drama but he zipped his lip which makes me think he suspected his own virility issues.
Well, he did post in an update that Cocksucker ghosted his wife.
Omg that’s funny but also terrible
Almost? That shit is terrible.
He's still going to have a child. A child he, presumably, wanted. While the circumstances suck, he's going to be a dad.
I think the circumstances have changed enough that it would be perfectly valid if he didn't want or feel ready for a child anymore.
Yep. Almost nothing is wanted in a vacuum, we want things with implicit conditions attached to them. Even wanting a hundred billion dollars is wanted with the implicit condition that the money is still valuable. In this case, if OP wanted to be a father it was with the implicit condition of being together with the child's mother, building on their family and growing together for the rest of their lives. The conditions changed. Those requirements are no longer being met.
I agree. He sounded devastated thinking he'd lost his wife and the baby he was emotionally invested in. It sounds like his daughter has given him something to focus on. I have no sympathy for his ex though. She and her lover brought it all on themselves. I hope OOP and Sally find great partners.
That second post was hinting that if it wasn’t his kid there would be nothing keeping him from suicide. So, I’m glad the child was his. He now has more of a chance to heal.
Honestly I'm glad it's his, too. Even if it ties him to his ex forever, he seemed to want his child from the beginning, and that at least wasn't taken from him.
Yeah, I too was wishing for that. Being tied to such a sh*t woman for the rest of his life sucks but he sounds like he's going to be an awesome dad. It'd be awesome if he ended up dating Sally and both lived a happy life.
I was in this situation, I was lucky it wasn't mine.
I agree... although woth the way one of the posts was formulated I wonder if oop would have survived that...
Basically the worst case scenario for him. His marriage is over before his daughter is even born.
My parents adopted me then divorced when I was 1. My dad says My mom cheated on him with my now stepdad and would berate, yell, corner her and accuse her constantly. He's a micromanaging, extremely abusive narcissistic asshole to boot so it was her last straw and she filed for divorce. From how my dad has spoken about it over the years it honestly sounds like he was just threatened my stepdad was a good looking guy a thousand times more interesting and kind than he was and his self consciousness transferred into unjust jealousy and rage. Admittedly my mom and stepdad probably should have waited a little bit to begin dating but she needed his support and at rhe very least had feelings for him already, but I know my mother, the chances of her cheating on her partner are literally zero, no matter how terrible they are. Even if she did I can't even say I'd blame her, she just wanted stability. This only made my dad angrier and he is literally still bitter and angry to this day. My mom had to go the next 3 years through all of that while also raising me, going through graduate school and beginning her special Ed teaching career, then getting married to my stepdad and gaining 2 more young children (my siblings) for them to care for. Funnily enough, my mom and dad divorced, my stepdad and his crazy ass ex wife divorced. My mom and stepdad got together(and still are, still deeply in love)... my dad and crazy ex wife began dating out of spite for a month. The basis to all long lasting relationships! lol. I'm always amazed at her tenacity, I hope this guy was able to find the same strength. I know it's been 3 years and he won't update, but I'm genuinely curious if the kid is his or not...
I'm always in awe when I read about people who have the strength and dignity to walk away when they're treated badly.
With therapy and hard work, this can become anyone. We all deserve to treat ourselves with respect. For many of us, myself included, our self respect has been based on the love we're given rather than just deserving it as we are. So, when the love we were given was snatched away, it became an imperative, second only to survival (and sometimes not even that), to reclaim that love at any cost. I deserve to be treated with the love and kindness I want, most especially by myself. If that's solid, I can find the strength to be okay walking away when someone else treats me poorly and disrespectfully. I'm making progress, and you can too, human!
As bad as I feel for OOP, my heart breaks for Sally. Imagine not only your husband cheating and possibly impregnating your neighbor while you’re dealing with infertility, but also him TAKING YOU OVER TO HER HOUSE TO DO CHORES FOR HER WHILE HE PLAYS DADDY. That’s seriously fucked up. I hope she’s doing a lot better these days.
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He was going to be the very best uncle ever to that kid. The two families would become besties and Sally and her husband would be like godparents. I bet $5 that was the idea. Sad thing is I pulled that scenario out of my ass so quick because I've seen it happen in real life more than once. A joke in my family is that "godfather" is the name you give the biological dad.
And he said she didn’t have a good support network. I hope breaking up with this guy helps her find better friends.
Cocksucker still can't/won't talk to Sally?!? What a fucking coward!!
What. The. Fucking. Fuck?!
It’s so weird to me. Like I don’t even speak to any of my neighbors really. They don’t come out of their houses besides the boomers.
Hope you don't mind me asking, are you from the us?
Yes. Some neighbors I talk to because our kids play together, and like I said the older ones never stop talking when they see me ha, but most literally never leave their house. Could also be because I moved to the neighborhood when Covid hit.
Yep, that's what that was, all right.
Fucking Fuckers and the Fucks they Fuck
IF YOU CHEAT ON YOUR S.O YOU ARE TRASH
Part of me was hoping OOP wasn't the father and he could make a clean break from the ex-wife. Bummer. I hope he can help Sally get a support system. Being infertile and knowing your husband thought he was another woman's baby daddy can't be easy.
Infertility can be on the men's side as well. Cocksucker could have been shooting blanks.
Oh yeah of course!
Sometimes it's both. My fiance failed to get a prior partner pregnant despite actively trying. She got pregnant shortly after they split with another partner. I have a genetic disorder that makes carrying to term extremely difficult. Between the two of us we're not even going to try to have kids.
Yes, but wife said that Sally was infertile. It sounds like the neighbors tried and looked into it a bit to find out why it didn't happen. So while in general it is entirely possible that the guy is infertile, that isn't the case here.
Sometimes I read these posts from the before times and wonder how these people did during lockdowns. I hope Sally had a solid support system by then!
A few weeks ago I read post here about a similar theme, a woman being pregnant and leaving her dumb ass husband and starting over... With a due date for the baby in early 2020. Then I was like damn, I hope they did OK. It must've been way more rough than she anticipated.
Karma for cocksucker being the kid not being his. Now no baby or a wife.
Or girlfriend
...so he crawled back to Mommy. So. Much. Creepo.
This was the first Reddit post I read and it has stuck with me ever since. So sad for OOP. Hope things are better now and he’s enjoying fatherhood.
I remember this one, can't believe we got an update
I pity both Sally and OOP here. Cocksucker is an absolute coward and ex wife was trash. This is something I never understood about cheaters. You want to fuck around? Cool. Why trap people in a relationship if you are going to fuck with some randos? How selfish and narcissistic you have to be to do this? I wish both Sally and OOP can heal from this somehow.
I have come to the conclusion that cheaters get off on seeing people get hurt/mentally destroyed. That is why the stay in a relationship.
No lmao. You don't know cheaters at all. There's two main reasons people cheat: insecurity and dissatisfaction in their current relationship while being too cowardly to fix those issues. Insecurity = stuff like "I love my partner, but I'm worried they don't love me as much. I should have sex with someone else to prove to myself that I'll be able to get a backup if they leave me. It will also prove that I'm desirable and my partner DOES value me". Dissatisfaction = "I'm not actually in love with my partner so I'm going to have sex with random people because they make me feel tingly or because I just don't take my relationship seriously, but I'm too cowardly to break up with my partner". As you can see, neither of these options encourage the cheater to break up with their partner.
That, or they keep the main relationship as a backup. A handy little support system just in case
This is it. Financial security.
Poor kid, born into an absolute shit show. I hope OOP has grown to be able to love their child, but still the anger, pain, and resentment between the parents is going to be noticeable, I hope the kid doesn't blame themselves for it.
That kid is probably going to grow up, learn what her mother did, and have an immense amount of disdain for her mother. That kid couldve had a perfectly normal life with a stable family but her mother took that away from her before she ever got to experience it.
Thank goodness the kiddo has OOP for a dad instead of cocksucker.
Going over for "daddy duties" is a stupid phrase. What a canoe that guy was.
This was hard to read. Wishing the best for OOP and Sally.
Poor sally. She sounds like such a smart and mature person,, too bad she got stuck with some baby obsessed idiot
Oof, as soon as I read what he walked in on, I thought neighbour is rubbing his baby and knew shit was about to get bad for Op. I hope he can be a great coparent with minimal interaction with his ex.
The saddest thing about this is Ops ex wife more than likely didn't even like dude let alone "loved" him. He was the neighbor so he was at the time pretty convenient. She probably just wanted attention. From the sound of it he was more than willing to give it. Although she could have easily called a friend, found a hobby, spent more time with family. Dare I say it, even spending time with her husband. But no, she ruined not one, but two marriages for attention and more than likely mediocre sex too. DAMN
Good lord, though. If I want attention and my husband isn't around, I cuddle the dog and wait for husband. Not bring another man into my bed. I will never understand people who blow up their happy lives for a random piece of ass! If she loved the guy, you can kinda understand. But for a freakin FWB situation. Sheesh.
I think a lot of these people are weak and lacking in self-esteem; they seek it out in sleeping with other people.
If that's the case, then at least use protection. Or don't get in a serious relationship. Some people suck.
Yeah, sometimes it would be nice (in an alt-universe way) if that app that rated people from “Black Mirror” (episode with Bryce Dallas Howard and Alice Eve), which based one’s ratings on actions, behaviors, popularity, other stuff, was a real thing. (Granted, a similar app on “Community” was also not a success story!)
Cheaters are garbage
neighbour probably got involved specifically for the chance to impregnate her if his wife was infertile, with him coming over to do "daddy duty" on her
Some people are just trash. I’m glad he caught her out and had the strength to leave.
I wonder how things turned out for OP
I'm honestly kinda bummed the daughter is OPs because now he'll have to coparent with that awful woman, and one day the daughter will want to know why they aren't together. Just a terrible situation
Unpopular opinion but I never understand these “X was a horrible spouse but will make a good parent” takes after cheating like this. No. Just no. Your spouse betrayed you, wouldn’t have admitted it unless caught, and is now supposed to be a pillar of integrity and moral guidance for your daughter? Press X to doubt.
This. A lot of cheaters I know take time away from their children to choose another person. If you have time for an affair, you’re a shitty parent. Pick your kids up, take them out. Spend time with them. If you’re actually putting your time where it should be, you wouldn’t be having an affair. This is why I couldn’t forgive my dad and I was in high school. It is more for my younger brother and sister who were ten years younger than me and could’ve really used his attention.
I have never visibly shaken in anger as much as I did when I read this. I dunno if it's cause I have been cheated on before and been lied too and that's just showing or the fact that he was coming over for DADDY DUTIES BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE HIS. In what fuckin world can you go about your day without feeling like the biggest most guilty piece of shit in the world... The audacity of some people sheesh...
That's so damn messed up.
I'm not oop but reading this hurts , like betrayal by your partner.
Wish the kid wasn't his, I would honestly try to be as little contact with the mom as possible if I was him
This made me cry. No one deserves to go through that kind of emotional torture. You must have been in an incredibly dark mind set, I’m glad you’ve made it through that period and are still alive today.
> [He] still refused to speak to Sally directly. According to her, the last thing that was passed along to her is that he understands what he did, he's sorry he hurt her, he loves her and won't contest a divorce. Wow, that is "I don't love you" in a nutshell. She has to do all the work. He says all these emotional things but can't put himself out for any interaction -- even a divorce has to be all on her.
I was going to say "Not Again!' but luckily I've read this story before.
This story lives in my brain rent free. I am just shocked at the absolute betrayal by this woman. It’s so beyond a “normal” affair because she was heavily fuckin pregnant. Just… why?! STOPPIT. What a way to absolutely ruin a marriage and make a person question their child before they’re even in the world. I really hope OP is in therapy, enjoying his daughter, and has found a way to get some peace in life.
So sad for him that its his kid
So glad he called in to work that first day. He might never have found out. I also don’t believe her about not being together for months. Dude needs to take to social media because I’m betting she has already made a story about what happenedd
Poor Sally :(
Oh holy fuck. The idea that there was a chance that the baby might be the neighbor’s never crossed my mind till the moment he revealed it. I think I thought it was going to turn out to be a fetish of some sort.
Good for OOP that he was able to deal with all of us. It's ashame that due to the child he can't get a clean break from his ex-wife and move on with his life.
Yeah, cheated several times, lied for months, planning on lying about the kid, gaslit the hubby, and obviously, hurting a innocent neighbour too(Sally). Not sure how she thought it would go.
That fucking sucks. I wish OOP the best
Damn. I'd be doing a life sentence if this shit happened to me. Cocksucker gotta go man 🔫
Well shit, I wished I had stopped with the mtf bestie love story.
I feel so bad for this guy. Goddamn.
Heartbreaking.
Holy shit I remember this one! Can’t believe I got to see the resolution!
Pre-natal paternity tests exist… why are cheaters so stupid and cheap (in addition to being lousy and cowardly)?
Ohhh man that poor guy. And poor Sally. What a mess.
Obviously this situation is really rough but… the irony of OP calling him Cocksucker? Shoulda gone with >!Motherfucker!< imo.
Damn. This just broke my heart
Sad story… wonder what they will tell their kid?
Like if you're married why cheat, well people I guess are really stupid and inconsiderate... But why without protection then isn't that just being completely dilusional, I guess to chest you need to lack some sort of common sense in the first place.
He should just hook up with sally and leave notes in neighbors new mailbox to fuck with him. But I’m also a petty dick.
"Sally's pregnant with **my** baby! 2-nil, cocksucker!"