This post has been marked [Venting](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown).
Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice.
u/liptonpeachtea3, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes! But for me it's like any emotion I show I get invalidated for. Happiness, sadness, anger; and eventually i started invalidating myself for them too. I bottle them up and it just gets worse. I think it's the worst when I'm not exactly my usual like normal self, any heightened happiness will give me some weird looks from my family.
I have to try so hard to act normally around people that I sometimes forget myself, so I'm grateful for the people I can be myself with! Without having them look at me like i'm a weirdo and making me want to disappear.
I’ve never related to a comment this much before. Every emotion i feel get invalidated and get asked “what is this circus?”
But yes grateful for the people who can stay by me.
You are allowed to validate your own emotions ! I think for a lot of us that power unknowingly got stripped away from us at some point, or we were never taught how.
I get this. It’s part of the reason I have such a hard time being around people who knew me at my lowest, when I was overwhelmed by the disorder and had many confusing episodes. Now that I’m better they all still see me this way and I want to cut them all off for it. Is that unfair?
I can tell people think I’m intense.. like they can tell my brain is not neurotypical, I say odd things because I see things differently. And my inability to regulate my emotions seems to weird people out.
Yes. I either want to stop talking and pray that the conversation is still salvageable despite my ineptness, or I talk more and say even stupider stuff, fearfully and turbulently trying to salvage it myself.
100% yes. I remember talking to a group of people who are equally into the paranormal side of things and we were telling stories and one of them turned to me and said “aren’t you just mentally ill?” Like Ok cool thanks. I get upset or will get excited about a topic and it’s always “are you having an episode right now?” People just don’t understand how that can really hurt someone. I’ll catch my self rambling or talking to much and I’ll realize the person I’m talking to is giving me a weird look and immediately I just shut down and won’t talk anymore.
I’m sorry that happens to you. I often talk and get my passions invalidated by friends. Their brains work much more normally than mine does. It’s why I keep my bpd a secret. This way they just think I’m antsy and weird lacking the mental difference part
I wish I had chosen too but when people start getting pushy about why you have so many doctors appointments and they won’t leave you alone about it it makes it so hard to keep it in.
I totally relate to the feeling, but recently i am working on interpreting my perceptions from different perspectives. We can be hyper alerted and sometimes paranoid, i can see myself being that way many times. I suffer alot by perceiving minor shifts on peoples expressions while they look and listen to me. Now i have been trying to actively remind me things are not all about me.
People get physically tired because of work and other stressful events they sometimes are only aware when they start relaxing, like when they are hearing someone speak. People have intrusive thoughts (that is normal, unless it is causing disturbances in daily functioning), which can change their attention for brief moments. People have their own mixed emotions coming from their personal experiences which may be touched uannounced during a random conversation.
There are infinite reasons why people seem to disconnect, distance themselves or change behaviour during interactions. Thimgs are not always about me and reminding me of that brings me freedom.
Precisely. I've learned that people are not as concerned about me as deeply as I may think or perceive them to be. This is all my own train of thinkin and my own perceptions of myself.
dude yes. The other day I was saying to my SO that the next door neighbors were bugging me with some noise and he was like trying to calm me down as if I was on the brink of sanity. Like, I just expressed I don’t love hearing them stomp around and it’s mildly annoying. I don’t need my emotions to be policed.
Literally!! Like I feel like when we share our negative emotions people don’t see them as real they just see it as our emotional instability, sometimes I wanna be treated normal
yeah 100%. I used to be so upset over that but now I almost use it as a litmus test. If someone does that judgy concern troll stare thing while I'm talking I just immediately write that person off and save myself the trouble.
I’ve dealt with this a lot, especially with my bf I don’t really think when I talk around him and just blabber and say whatever cause I’m more confortable around him than anyone else, anyway he looks at me like what is she even talking about lmao.
I have an over shareing issue, when things are tough, like I can't contain that much stress, people talk shit but the real ones won't turn their backs and talk shit. People can't handle the intensity of our emotions, brain scans of people with bpd show that our emotions are about 20x more intense than those without bpd. They don't understand. Look up Dr. Daniel Fox on YouTube, he has helped me through the hardest times recently and he has helped me process emotions, improve my perception of many situations in life, and best of all REACT to triggers more appropriately. I have no insurance, the free therapist was kinda bitchy in my opinion so I decided to work on myself by myself until I get to where I can find one that gives a shit and has better understanding of personality disorders.
Here is my dear Marshall Rosenberg on the subject of weirdness
https://youtu.be/YujSdJ8-1GQ
Here is a NVC workshop of his
https://youtu.be/l7TONauJGfc
Now go be weird, my weirdos!!!
Yeah in normal convos I can manage but if people ask me questions or know me for more than 6 months to a year, they will know me I'm off somewhere. I just used to feel it. Some even distance me that kinda hurts but ill also become rather not so friendly
Yes, I’ve chalked it up to them being emotionally unintelligent. (Assuming I’m not genuinely being inappropriate.)
I learned in DBT that most strong emotions will make NT people uncomfortable. Having to do with their own personal emotional thresholds, triggers and what not.
Basically boils down to self-validation, for us. Ex: I use to be a blowout stylist, it’s my FAVORITE service to provide and I would get SO excited when I would do the big reveal to my clients and would often times get overly excited and some of the women would just stare at me like I was crazy, for having such a big smile and for being so excited for them. If I could tell they were uncomfortable, I’d turn it down a (small) notch and just smile and say, “Sorry. I’m just very passionate about my services and get very excited for my clients. There’s nothing I love more than making people feel good about themselves.”
Again, if I know I wasn’t doing anything to hurt them and wasn’t truly being offensive, I just shrug it off and know that they have a problem…but it isn’t mine to worry about/take care of.
All the time. You're actually luckier than me because people around me don't even know wtf is bpd or what's a bpd mania. They just think i'm straight up crazy. At least some people around you probably knows it's not that scary since they have an idea why you act strange to them. The unknown is always scarier.
Yeah l, my loved ones support me and they try their best to understand bpd, my issue is sometimes I feel like when I’m in a talkative mood or I’m ranting about something they get wary and I can feel them kind of patronising me cuz they think I’m having and episode
People always seem to think I'm weird, ever since I was real little I was always the weird one and always alienated, only ever hung out with other neurodivergent people, but even my own family gets weirded out by me fairly often
Same here, never had friends in school, find it hard to make friends and socialise. It’s hard being a weirdo because I bet I could find others like me it’s jsut we’re so used to hiding it
I never really hid it, my parents always encouraged me to embrace being weird despite me sometimes being a lot, my closest friend also has BPD though, and we met before either of us knew, only bonded because we were the only two in detention
Yeah this. I was a fucked up teenager and I was terrible and I’ll never ever be able to dismiss that but as an adult who’s actively trying day to day to be better for 4 years, actively in therapy and regulated on meds, it’s really painful when people treat me like I’m the same person I was when I was 16, like my emotions are still as extreme and volatile. I also just have generally shitty family members tbh.
No one has to forget how terrible I was as a teenager, but I don’t get why FAMILY ESPECIALLY cannot realize how detrimental it can be to never *try* to see someone’s change. I’ve been healthier and happier and just overall a kinder, more productive person. To show emotion and be disregarded because I showed so much of it years ago fucking sucks. I never got to have a cry on my mom’s shoulder moment. I never will get to do that. She will always see it as a ploy for attention, or an overreaction, or a manipulation tactic. I understand it but damn do I hate it.
I’m so sorry that’s so hurtful, I’m lucky my mom is so supportive and I’ve cried on her shoulder plenty. You’ll find people who will let you in and love you no matter what. I guess u just have to validate yourself. It’s not attention and the fact ur mom thinks that shows how emotionally unintelligent she is
Definitelyyyyy @ the validating yourself part!! Thank you friend! I’ve definitely made my own family and I’m glad to have people around now that take the time to understand me.
Thanks again so much!! I appreciated that.
i feel this. having autism also contributes to this feeling for me :(( people always give me funny looks or the room just falls quiet every time i try to interact with somebody, even if i’m happy and adding something positive to the conversation. makes me want to never try to talk to people ever again to be honest lol
this X1000000! I feel this most often with my mother. I also try to "chill out" around my partner of many years but that just seems necessary lol. My mom on the other hand, we rarely talk, and when we do I always feel like I'm too much for her. Maybe I just talk passionately about something? Does she think I require too much attention when I am talking? I really think she just doesn't like talking to me for a few reasons haha. Thanks for sharing.
1000000%!!!!!!!!!! I’ve honestly come to accept that my BPD does make me think/talk/connect in way more intense ways. I’ve come a long way from feeling embarrassed to loving that part of me (: it’s also feels like my friendships are a lot more genuine when I find people who match my energy 💙
My mom is the only person I have truly unfiltered thought vomit to. I can talk for hours straight just none stop. When I notice her eyes glaze over and she kind of looks like one of those faceless characters I realize I'm dumping and shut up.
The last friend relationship I had if I spoke about/in a way that wasn't of "normal standard" I was called crazy and told I need therapy. I mean..true but..I need a friend too.
My SO is just as screwed up as I am so it's 50/50 if we talk all night or end up arguing because someone's tone/view ruined the mood.
The rest of my family have labeled me a conspiracy theorist and avoid me.
I seriously can’t even tell you how many people have told me that I’m “too much”. In fact, everyone in my life has told me that at least once. It’s awful to get tossed into that bucket of “crazy”.. my Ma told me one time that I was “yelling” at someone when I honestly thought I spoke to them very calmly.. sometimes the ones around us see in us what they know is in them, and that bugs them more than anything else..
Yes but I’ve learned to not care. I have big emotions, too big for my body and if I feel a certain way I have that right. My emotions are not negotiable. If I am “acting crazy” or someone tries to tell me I will laugh in their face. If I get called crazy I will act even crazier lol - unapologetically!
Not exactly like you but everytime I go outside and for example pass by someone i always think that they must be weirded out by my walk, my face, my body, just my whole being. Makes it very stressful to go out. In the sense that people that are close to me are weirded out, i don't care. I chose that the only people who are going to get close to me (right now) are my family and my family already knows how weird i am so i don't take it as hard i guess
One thing I can say about myself for sure, pat on the back, im scary smart. I mean as in if I look at something and study it I can understand and build it. Listen to music and play it back. I could do it. Build a rocket, no problems. If it exists, I understand how it works. If I had to learn a new language, give me a few months. Stuff like that. My son is even more next level. That being said we look like regular people. Jeans and teeshort kind of guys. When people start talking and try to explain things to me in a condescending way I tell them no need. I then tell them what they were going to tell me. That weird people out..
Or when people think im not listening and they get huffy for me not listening and I repeat back what they said. Always good for a laugh. That gets me really weird looks
Hello! Your post has been removed because your account is less than 7 days old. Please return when you have met that requirement.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
one time when I was 16 or 17 and still living at home with my parents, me and my older sister were fucking around and laughing and I guess my facial expressions and body language was just getting too sporadic, because my mom went out of her way to tell me to stop & calm down. like, how can you look at your child actually feeling happiness and enjoying life and tell them to tone it down? I was a little manic at the time for sure, but I wasn’t hurting anyone. that shit has been in the back of my head ever since, im always thinking about how I look from the outside
I’d say more often than not people are more intrigued than anything. I think and behave in a more “eccentric” way, but I can usually break it down so it makes some semblance of sense to others. Some people genuinely aren’t willing to listen and understand though and to that I say, not my problem buddy.
it's so shitty cause as soon as i realize people are looking concerned or they're weirded out, i shut down and stop talking completely. i thought i was acting normal but it's never enough
This post has been marked [Venting](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown). Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice. u/liptonpeachtea3, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes! But for me it's like any emotion I show I get invalidated for. Happiness, sadness, anger; and eventually i started invalidating myself for them too. I bottle them up and it just gets worse. I think it's the worst when I'm not exactly my usual like normal self, any heightened happiness will give me some weird looks from my family. I have to try so hard to act normally around people that I sometimes forget myself, so I'm grateful for the people I can be myself with! Without having them look at me like i'm a weirdo and making me want to disappear.
I’ve never related to a comment this much before. Every emotion i feel get invalidated and get asked “what is this circus?” But yes grateful for the people who can stay by me.
You are allowed to validate your own emotions ! I think for a lot of us that power unknowingly got stripped away from us at some point, or we were never taught how.
I get this. It’s part of the reason I have such a hard time being around people who knew me at my lowest, when I was overwhelmed by the disorder and had many confusing episodes. Now that I’m better they all still see me this way and I want to cut them all off for it. Is that unfair?
I can tell people think I’m intense.. like they can tell my brain is not neurotypical, I say odd things because I see things differently. And my inability to regulate my emotions seems to weird people out.
I know exactly how you feel. It can be quite alienating. Do you find that you instinctively want to not talk after thinking this?
Yes. I either want to stop talking and pray that the conversation is still salvageable despite my ineptness, or I talk more and say even stupider stuff, fearfully and turbulently trying to salvage it myself.
Yes, when the conversation is done I just automatically think the worst possible conclusion and re think everything I said
Dude yes they look at you like you’re on drugs its so annoying
Yeah I feel this, I have been seriously asked if I'm high multiple times
Im always asked if im high or on drugs like bro im high on mental illness let me live
[удалено]
Me too! And ppl think I’m having some sort of issue with my emotions when really it’s just me being me
100% yes. I remember talking to a group of people who are equally into the paranormal side of things and we were telling stories and one of them turned to me and said “aren’t you just mentally ill?” Like Ok cool thanks. I get upset or will get excited about a topic and it’s always “are you having an episode right now?” People just don’t understand how that can really hurt someone. I’ll catch my self rambling or talking to much and I’ll realize the person I’m talking to is giving me a weird look and immediately I just shut down and won’t talk anymore.
I’m sorry that happens to you. I often talk and get my passions invalidated by friends. Their brains work much more normally than mine does. It’s why I keep my bpd a secret. This way they just think I’m antsy and weird lacking the mental difference part
I wish I had chosen too but when people start getting pushy about why you have so many doctors appointments and they won’t leave you alone about it it makes it so hard to keep it in.
It’s so invalidating I get u
I totally relate to the feeling, but recently i am working on interpreting my perceptions from different perspectives. We can be hyper alerted and sometimes paranoid, i can see myself being that way many times. I suffer alot by perceiving minor shifts on peoples expressions while they look and listen to me. Now i have been trying to actively remind me things are not all about me. People get physically tired because of work and other stressful events they sometimes are only aware when they start relaxing, like when they are hearing someone speak. People have intrusive thoughts (that is normal, unless it is causing disturbances in daily functioning), which can change their attention for brief moments. People have their own mixed emotions coming from their personal experiences which may be touched uannounced during a random conversation. There are infinite reasons why people seem to disconnect, distance themselves or change behaviour during interactions. Thimgs are not always about me and reminding me of that brings me freedom.
Precisely. I've learned that people are not as concerned about me as deeply as I may think or perceive them to be. This is all my own train of thinkin and my own perceptions of myself.
Thank you for this, my brain has a hard time realising that maybe it’s not always the worst possible thing
dude yes. The other day I was saying to my SO that the next door neighbors were bugging me with some noise and he was like trying to calm me down as if I was on the brink of sanity. Like, I just expressed I don’t love hearing them stomp around and it’s mildly annoying. I don’t need my emotions to be policed.
Literally!! Like I feel like when we share our negative emotions people don’t see them as real they just see it as our emotional instability, sometimes I wanna be treated normal
Always. Fucking always.
yeah 100%. I used to be so upset over that but now I almost use it as a litmus test. If someone does that judgy concern troll stare thing while I'm talking I just immediately write that person off and save myself the trouble.
I get the same stare all the time from my coworkers and ask? Are you down here with us.
I’ve dealt with this a lot, especially with my bf I don’t really think when I talk around him and just blabber and say whatever cause I’m more confortable around him than anyone else, anyway he looks at me like what is she even talking about lmao.
Saaame
I have an over shareing issue, when things are tough, like I can't contain that much stress, people talk shit but the real ones won't turn their backs and talk shit. People can't handle the intensity of our emotions, brain scans of people with bpd show that our emotions are about 20x more intense than those without bpd. They don't understand. Look up Dr. Daniel Fox on YouTube, he has helped me through the hardest times recently and he has helped me process emotions, improve my perception of many situations in life, and best of all REACT to triggers more appropriately. I have no insurance, the free therapist was kinda bitchy in my opinion so I decided to work on myself by myself until I get to where I can find one that gives a shit and has better understanding of personality disorders.
Thank u this helped sm x
No, people think im friendly, social and extroverted. But that may be due to the fact that considered conventionally attractive.
I think I talk bout normal but they ask? Are u Bipolar? How do they notice
I have bpd, and it’s just the sudden silence or peculiar look they have when I talk, it makes me think I’m doing something wrong
Here is my dear Marshall Rosenberg on the subject of weirdness https://youtu.be/YujSdJ8-1GQ Here is a NVC workshop of his https://youtu.be/l7TONauJGfc Now go be weird, my weirdos!!!
All the time !
Yes lol but in their defense I’ve escalated to batshit levels in the past.
Same goes for me
Yeah. They would say how annoying I am whenever I talked.
Yes and that usually ends up with people talking over me until I shut up. Soooo that's fun.
Yeah in normal convos I can manage but if people ask me questions or know me for more than 6 months to a year, they will know me I'm off somewhere. I just used to feel it. Some even distance me that kinda hurts but ill also become rather not so friendly
They used to be. My mom told me once she was scared of me sometimes.
My mo my old me that too, I know how u feel
this is probably the #1 reason i feel i struggle to get close to people.. i never know if they find me annoying or not!!!!!
Yes, I’ve chalked it up to them being emotionally unintelligent. (Assuming I’m not genuinely being inappropriate.) I learned in DBT that most strong emotions will make NT people uncomfortable. Having to do with their own personal emotional thresholds, triggers and what not. Basically boils down to self-validation, for us. Ex: I use to be a blowout stylist, it’s my FAVORITE service to provide and I would get SO excited when I would do the big reveal to my clients and would often times get overly excited and some of the women would just stare at me like I was crazy, for having such a big smile and for being so excited for them. If I could tell they were uncomfortable, I’d turn it down a (small) notch and just smile and say, “Sorry. I’m just very passionate about my services and get very excited for my clients. There’s nothing I love more than making people feel good about themselves.” Again, if I know I wasn’t doing anything to hurt them and wasn’t truly being offensive, I just shrug it off and know that they have a problem…but it isn’t mine to worry about/take care of.
I dont know. I never asked
They tell me I’m to intense when I get that way. They don’t get That I’m like that when I care about something.
I feel u. Like it’s ok to be intense on occasions, everyone does, not jsut people with bpd
I'm autistic as well as bpd. Lots of people are weirded out by me
I understand, for me it’s quite isolating, not knowing how “myself” I can be with someone without weirding them out
All the time. You're actually luckier than me because people around me don't even know wtf is bpd or what's a bpd mania. They just think i'm straight up crazy. At least some people around you probably knows it's not that scary since they have an idea why you act strange to them. The unknown is always scarier.
Yeah l, my loved ones support me and they try their best to understand bpd, my issue is sometimes I feel like when I’m in a talkative mood or I’m ranting about something they get wary and I can feel them kind of patronising me cuz they think I’m having and episode
All the time. I’m trying my best to just keep to myself as much as I can these days
I don't think they understand me I can be the kindness human but if you hurt me I turn into someone else.
People always seem to think I'm weird, ever since I was real little I was always the weird one and always alienated, only ever hung out with other neurodivergent people, but even my own family gets weirded out by me fairly often
Same here, never had friends in school, find it hard to make friends and socialise. It’s hard being a weirdo because I bet I could find others like me it’s jsut we’re so used to hiding it
I never really hid it, my parents always encouraged me to embrace being weird despite me sometimes being a lot, my closest friend also has BPD though, and we met before either of us knew, only bonded because we were the only two in detention
Yeah this. I was a fucked up teenager and I was terrible and I’ll never ever be able to dismiss that but as an adult who’s actively trying day to day to be better for 4 years, actively in therapy and regulated on meds, it’s really painful when people treat me like I’m the same person I was when I was 16, like my emotions are still as extreme and volatile. I also just have generally shitty family members tbh. No one has to forget how terrible I was as a teenager, but I don’t get why FAMILY ESPECIALLY cannot realize how detrimental it can be to never *try* to see someone’s change. I’ve been healthier and happier and just overall a kinder, more productive person. To show emotion and be disregarded because I showed so much of it years ago fucking sucks. I never got to have a cry on my mom’s shoulder moment. I never will get to do that. She will always see it as a ploy for attention, or an overreaction, or a manipulation tactic. I understand it but damn do I hate it.
I’m so sorry that’s so hurtful, I’m lucky my mom is so supportive and I’ve cried on her shoulder plenty. You’ll find people who will let you in and love you no matter what. I guess u just have to validate yourself. It’s not attention and the fact ur mom thinks that shows how emotionally unintelligent she is
Definitelyyyyy @ the validating yourself part!! Thank you friend! I’ve definitely made my own family and I’m glad to have people around now that take the time to understand me. Thanks again so much!! I appreciated that.
i feel this. having autism also contributes to this feeling for me :(( people always give me funny looks or the room just falls quiet every time i try to interact with somebody, even if i’m happy and adding something positive to the conversation. makes me want to never try to talk to people ever again to be honest lol
this X1000000! I feel this most often with my mother. I also try to "chill out" around my partner of many years but that just seems necessary lol. My mom on the other hand, we rarely talk, and when we do I always feel like I'm too much for her. Maybe I just talk passionately about something? Does she think I require too much attention when I am talking? I really think she just doesn't like talking to me for a few reasons haha. Thanks for sharing.
1000000%!!!!!!!!!! I’ve honestly come to accept that my BPD does make me think/talk/connect in way more intense ways. I’ve come a long way from feeling embarrassed to loving that part of me (: it’s also feels like my friendships are a lot more genuine when I find people who match my energy 💙
My mom is the only person I have truly unfiltered thought vomit to. I can talk for hours straight just none stop. When I notice her eyes glaze over and she kind of looks like one of those faceless characters I realize I'm dumping and shut up. The last friend relationship I had if I spoke about/in a way that wasn't of "normal standard" I was called crazy and told I need therapy. I mean..true but..I need a friend too. My SO is just as screwed up as I am so it's 50/50 if we talk all night or end up arguing because someone's tone/view ruined the mood. The rest of my family have labeled me a conspiracy theorist and avoid me.
I seriously can’t even tell you how many people have told me that I’m “too much”. In fact, everyone in my life has told me that at least once. It’s awful to get tossed into that bucket of “crazy”.. my Ma told me one time that I was “yelling” at someone when I honestly thought I spoke to them very calmly.. sometimes the ones around us see in us what they know is in them, and that bugs them more than anything else..
Yes but I’ve learned to not care. I have big emotions, too big for my body and if I feel a certain way I have that right. My emotions are not negotiable. If I am “acting crazy” or someone tries to tell me I will laugh in their face. If I get called crazy I will act even crazier lol - unapologetically!
Not exactly like you but everytime I go outside and for example pass by someone i always think that they must be weirded out by my walk, my face, my body, just my whole being. Makes it very stressful to go out. In the sense that people that are close to me are weirded out, i don't care. I chose that the only people who are going to get close to me (right now) are my family and my family already knows how weird i am so i don't take it as hard i guess
I tend to mesmerize people
One thing I can say about myself for sure, pat on the back, im scary smart. I mean as in if I look at something and study it I can understand and build it. Listen to music and play it back. I could do it. Build a rocket, no problems. If it exists, I understand how it works. If I had to learn a new language, give me a few months. Stuff like that. My son is even more next level. That being said we look like regular people. Jeans and teeshort kind of guys. When people start talking and try to explain things to me in a condescending way I tell them no need. I then tell them what they were going to tell me. That weird people out.. Or when people think im not listening and they get huffy for me not listening and I repeat back what they said. Always good for a laugh. That gets me really weird looks
[удалено]
Hello! Your post has been removed because your account is less than 7 days old. Please return when you have met that requirement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
one time when I was 16 or 17 and still living at home with my parents, me and my older sister were fucking around and laughing and I guess my facial expressions and body language was just getting too sporadic, because my mom went out of her way to tell me to stop & calm down. like, how can you look at your child actually feeling happiness and enjoying life and tell them to tone it down? I was a little manic at the time for sure, but I wasn’t hurting anyone. that shit has been in the back of my head ever since, im always thinking about how I look from the outside
I’d say more often than not people are more intrigued than anything. I think and behave in a more “eccentric” way, but I can usually break it down so it makes some semblance of sense to others. Some people genuinely aren’t willing to listen and understand though and to that I say, not my problem buddy.
That’s one of the reasons I move told anyone bout my bpd-ish issues
it's so shitty cause as soon as i realize people are looking concerned or they're weirded out, i shut down and stop talking completely. i thought i was acting normal but it's never enough