T O P

Crazy neighbor has a list of people who are not welcome on his front door

Crazy neighbor has a list of people who are not welcome on his front door

SisterSeverini

**ALL FED. GOVT. EMPLOYEES + Paula Abdul** My favorite lol


200cc_of_I_Dont_Care

"Mark Zuckerberg/Wife" Is another good one.


PCsNBaseball

My favorite is just "Chicago people"


powerlesshero111

My personal favorite is Neve Campbell. I imagine she is retired from acting and just goes door to door, advocating for some social cause, and knocked on this person's door, and they just got all upset because it was a cause they don't like, so they got all pissed off and basically black listed her from coming back to their house, and then like when Neve Campbell gets back to that neighborhood for a different social cause, she has to be like "no, we can't go to that house".


hannahatecats

Well neve Campbell and the Arquettes are right next to each other, I imagined that he was triggered by Scream.


WinsomeWombat

CHICAGO PEOPLE, the rats, QuestLove.


r40k

Theyre welcome alone, just not Federal Govt Employees accompanied by Paula Abdul. That crosses the line


OneArchedEyebrow

Straight up now tell me.


53eleven

Are ya really gonna ban me from your porch forever?


OneArchedEyebrow

Oh oh oh.


inflatable_pickle

Or are you just Q-anon


Mindthegaptooth

That was my favourite too. Nice pick.


chattywww

How would one know what the list is for?


spaztiq

It just seems like a list of people they've been made aware exist. Maybe it's like a Memento thing, lol.


GiddiOne

I'm confused why Penn gets top billing. Members of both parties aren't invited from the looks. >President Biden Well at least he admits it. >Sheep Dogg ...wut? >DMX That'd be an impressive trick. Awww Marky mark gets a love heart.


chepas_moi

3rd page, right column: *chicago people*. Well. Looks like I'm on the list.


Naptownfellow

Also he really doesn’t like Hilary swank. She’s listed twice. Helen? Who’s Helen? And all govt employees. That could be problematic for mail, if there is a fire, ems situation, etc..


Diazepampoovey

My favorite is the Utah Supreme Court


pauly13771377

Bothering to write this down, keep it updated, and post it on your front door just in case Tommy Lee Jones, or Eli Manning decides to pay you a visit is a special kind of crazy. Kind of want to knock on his front door and say "I'm not on the list so I thought I was welcome."


RalphWiggumsShadow

I mean, I kind of get Penn, but... Teller?! What did Teller do, besides what Penn told him to do. How would Teller be #2 on the shitlist, and what would this person fear if Teller came to their door? Poor Teller...


mark_lee

Fun fact: Teller is the brains of the outfit and Penn is just a big, loud juggler.


Dandw12786

While kind of true, that's Penn's own assessment of the pairing, but he's being pretty humble about it. Dude is insanely skilled. Is Teller a better magician? Yeah, technically, but it'd be like having Tom Brady and Peyton Manning together and Manning says "He's the real QB, I just chuck the ball and hope someone catches it." Edit: Good lord ya can't make a simple analogy on this freaking website without a bunch of "well AKSHUALLY..." folks missing the goddamn point.


mark_lee

Yeah, they definitely work best as a team.


Barihawk

He had Trumps entire family on the first page. Say what you will. Dude just hates politicians.


sim642

There's a ♥️ after Mark Wahlberg, so maybe it's a list of people they like?


BeBa420

Maybe that just means his hatred for Mark whalberg lies deep within his heart Might also indicate that he has a blood feud with Marky Mark, but that’s less likely


cilestiogrey

Elizabeth Banks ELIZABETH BANKS


damadamagoyolur

Hillary Swank HILLARY SWANK


smaugington

I thought so too because the list seems to be entirely celebrities but then it says "all fed govt employees" below Chicago people and above Paula Abdul. It's probably a person who needs to be on meds. I used to have a neighbor that would cover his big window on the front of his house with hand written bible verses, conspiracy nonsense, and political garbage. He would talk about the government trying to spy on him, how he used to be friends with Hell's Angels, and women that used him for his money.


mssaaa

I mean there's a heart next to Mark Wahlberg. Maybe it's just a running list of people they've seen on tv that interested them... like ALL CHICAGO PEOPLE 😂


ilovethissheet

That one caught my eye too. Is it all people in the BAND Chicago or just all people from Chicago?


I_GIVE_KIDS_MDMA

I mean, Robert Lamm and Jimmy Pankow even forgave Peter Cetera at some point.


dontdrinkthewater_

This is what I'm wondering. Can't believe I had to scroll so far to find this comment.


Lyrehctoo

Right? Maybe it's a list of invited guests


twatfantesticles

There’s a heart next to Mark Wahlberg’s name, so the guest list theory has more evidence than a banned list.


dontdrinkthewater_

Now THAT would be an interesting party.


coffeemug73

I like how he refers to stage names when mentioning Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre and DMX, but Ice Cube is referred to as O'Shea Jackson.


ReckLesPopTart

Also Lil Wayne is listed as Dwayne Carter


whatsyoursign69

And Eminem is listed as “Marshall Mathers.” Wtf does this guy have against all of these famous people? Plot twist: This is actually the front door to Trump’s house. Would make more sense honestly lmao Edit: JK I just realized the Trumps are also listed. This guy has way too much free time, lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Itchy-Mind7724

I noticed Jared kushner and Ivanka l, Donald trump sr, but not Donald trump jr…hmmm


KathyJaneway

Jr is under Ivanka, I didn't see Sr tho


Itchy-Mind7724

Oh! It looked like a sr to me without my glasses on. Also, looks like “pres trump” is above the rest of the trumps


21CabbageAnon

Along with "president Biden", "pres bush", and "Hussein Obama". Personally, my favorite listing is "UT Supreme Court".


DarkPizza

I think my favorite is "Sgt. Thompson(?)" directly adjacent to what appears to be a police business card stuck in the door.


GothicToast

He also has Marty and Wendy Byrde, which are the main characters of the fictional show Ozark


_leyash

He also has Jason Bateman and Laura Linney on there 😭😆


wastedsanitythefirst

Hes just covering all the bases to be sure


storyofmylife92

He also has Emily Prentiss and Penelope Garcia who are both fictional characters from Criminal Minds but Penelope Garcia is crossed out? Maybe she made it up to him?


mybadalternate

I was almost at the bottom of the list… I was getting worried… I thought they might… have… Forgot about Dre.


deltaJee7_org

"...Snoop doggy dog and dr. Dre is at the door..." **Sees the board** "...oh shit... Guess imma head out first and burst like a bubble..."


beefwich

He has “Marty Byrd” and “Wendy Byrd” on there. Those are the names of the characters Jason Bateman and Laura Linney (respectively) play in *Ozark.*


storyofmylife92

He also has Emily Prentiss and Penelope Garcia who are both fictional characters from Criminal Minds but Penelope Garcia is crossed out? Maybe she made it up to him?


Pneumonia-Hawk

And just to be sure he's got Jason Bateman and Laura Linney as well


Lanthemandragoran

Hillary Swank is on there twice in the first two lines lol, one in caps. So she apparently really upset him. Which is...weirder than so much of the rest of this somehow.


drainu

Bradley pitt


Crabby_Monkey

I’d swing by at night and write my name on that list too.


feor1300

Write *his* name on the list and see how he processes it.


Sandpaper_Pants

You're about to write his mom's name and you realize she's first on the list.


ZachMN

His mom is Penn Gillette?!?


djseifer

I thought you were kidding, but the first two names really are Penn and Teller.


KathyJaneway

And Hillary Clinton is 3rd 🤣🤣🤣


maitlandish

And Hilary Swank is on there twice


HazMatt_23

Elizabeth Banks is on there twice, back to back.


boiseboz

Sherry Stringfield is on there twice as well, I guess she pissed him off on an ER episode


StretchDudestrong

He has to move, checkmate


kanadakozzy66

There’s no way I’d step on that porch day or especially night.


mealteamseis

Yeah no shit, that looks like a “shot through the front door” place


harpejjist

Add mine while you are at it please?


shahooster

At some point he’s gonna need to switch to an opt-in list.


Lo2us

Fuckin guy looks like he would post the entire yellow pages on his porch.


Spear-of-Stars

I don't see my name there. I'm headed over.


1ofZuulsMinions

Don’t bring Shaquille O’Neal with you! He’s not welcome!!!


babygirl-des

Nor is Miley or Billy Ray Cyrus!!


xmsxms

As long as you're not from Chicago you should be welcomed with open arms. You might make the list while there however.


ericat53

Chicago people and someone named Helen with no last name. Does that apply to anyone named Helen or is there a specific Helen, like Helen of Troy?


harperv215

Could be the character, Helen, from Ozark. Wendy and Marty Byrd are on the list as well.


sometimesimalady

I really appreciate the double down, no Jason Bateman and Laura Linney AND no Marty and Wendy Byrd


ericat53

Now I'm wondering if he means Chicago the band or the City of Chicago? Damn


patchinthebox

The entire city. If you're from Chicago you're on his list.


FreedTMG

She just causes drama, I wouldn't let her in either.


aabicus

He doesn’t want a massive fleet of Greek warships arriving to evict her by force


FreedTMG

I mean, just lock the door til they give you presents. I forget how the story ended, but I remember that much.


philodendrin

Top of the list; Penn Jillette. This all started with Penn Jillette, just so y'all know!!! Yes, Teller is second.


patchinthebox

What the fuck did Teller do? Man doesn't even talk. Lol guilty by association I guess.


philodendrin

I think the guy just threw him in, ya know, just in case BOTH decided to stop by, along with Halle Berry, Dr Phil and Jimmy Fallon.


gafelda

and bradley pitt.


ec_on_wc

Fucked his wife, probably. Teller can get it.


Dandroid

He's a great listener.


Aliki26

Penn is very much anti-religion and outspoken about his disbelief in a God…what I wanna know is how anyone could have beef with Denzel Washington the guy is just awesome.


fitandhealthyguy

Denzel can stop by my place any time - even if he brings Penn and Teller with him.


metal_bulb

But it looks like Hillary Swank made the list twice.


jackieisbored

Giggled at Elizabeth Banks' 2 times because it was one right on top of the other like Elizabeth Banks ELIZABETH BANKS


SquidMcDoogle

I'm thinking he started with the Middle List, and has been adding them in a spiral outward from the center of the door. Also - 'Marcel Proust'. This guy is thorough.


SirSureSire

Someone saw an episode of Bullshit they didn't like... I wonder which one.


IntoTheMystic1

What's with the heart next to Mark Wahlberg? Is that his man crush?


buster_rhino

He’s also not sure about Ben Affleck and Matt Damon lol


fatandhappylilcactus

I went diving into the comments to see who I could commiserate with about this


ec_on_wc

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. And fuck you. I'm out.


Sartrem

I’m thinking OP’s title is misleading… Does it say anywhere in this pic that these people aren’t welcome? Maybe crazy neighbor just likes listing celebrities.


BongLeardDongLick

And Matt Damon? With the question mark. As if he wasn’t entirely sure. Same with Ben Affleck? Good to know he was only on the fence about them.


bisforbenis

How do you know that’s what the list is? Did your neighbor tell you that specifically or is it written there and I’m just missing it?


hither_spin

This is the [source](https://twitter.com/Literature_Lady/status/1419414850451685377?s=20) from Twitter.


ChuqTas

Account has now gone private :-(


Sarkos

That tweet is inaccessible, you don't happen to have a screenshot?


Pablopubes

[here ya go](https://i.imgur.com/JB0EGas.jpg) I can’t get into the thread though because he’s private. The gist of it was the dude has several restraining orders against him by his neighbors and he made this list in response to that. Hence the police card


nortonanthologie

The original tweet is from a relative of one of the neighbors. Apparently the entire neighborhood has a RO against him. He’s clearly crazy, but allegedly also a major dick to everyone in the neighborhood (unclear how tho...)


ToxicTelephone

I'm wondering this too... From this picture it's just a list of names


chickensrunfast

Wonder how many of those people showed up and decided to turn around when they read their name.


Mr_Dugan

Imagine how embarrassed Prince William was when he showed up with his wife who clearly is on the list. Sorry babe, can you wait in the car for a sec?


RealStumbleweed

She can wait out there with Gisele Bundchen


iscreamuscreamweall

Tom Brady is apparently allowed though


SophisticatedStoner

Eli and Peyton Manning in shambles


hadespersephone

Prince William is on the list too


Mr_Dugan

Shit, you’re right. Missing that probably puts me on the list.


Buddha_Lady

Every single person on the list


Yikesitsme888

Even Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre,?


Styphin

Yes and BOTH Elizabeth Bankses.


Hingl_McCringleberry

They each showed up with a different Hillary Swank


MorningPants

And Biden and Bill Gates


ex-igne-vita

Yeah, jay-z, shaq, Oprah and all the clintons showed up to wish him a happy birthday but left in tears when they saw that hurtful list.


genevish

Did the entire US Supreme Court come at once, or separately?


Buddha_Lady

The all went in on an Uber together


Christophorus

And then there was that one time Chicago stopped by.


weareborgunicons

“CHICAGO PEOPLE” was my favorite too 😂


Kred1bleThreat

HILLARY SWANK! all caps lol


Mis_Bee_Have

Actually says her name twice on that page. She must be real bad. Lol


rgraham888

He really double hates Elizabeth Banks also.


g0daig0daig0dai

Elizabeth Banks. ELIZABETH BANKS


fallsstandard

I just got here to point that one out too. I can just hear that person writing Elizabeth Banks once and then getting viscerally angry and needing to add the caps.


ATAC9093

No one is going to comment that Greg Lowe got his name crossed off the list?? Can someone get Greg Lowe over there to find out why this guy hates everyone in the world except for Greg Lowe?


marpocky

Maybe it's a Billy Madison situation


harpejjist

Love the police left a business card in there. They want to chat....


Creepyface1

Came here looking for this! I have so many questions!!


Galivanting

More than likely someone called for a wellness check, unfortunately they were on the list so they couldn’t go inside.


RonDonVolante

The answers to all of them are most likely schizophrenia.


az116

That business card was left like that because they leave it like that and take a photo, and the person doesn't know the police left it there. So they open the door and it falls. And they can't put it back exactly right. The police can then tell if the person has (probably) left or not, which is important when serving warrants or wellness checks.


xmsxms

Well they couldn't go in, they are probably on the list there somewhere.


totallyirrelephant-1

I'm assuming they're the Sandy PD Flappies (?)


Pragmatic_Scavenger

Yep, and got the Utah Highway Patrol on there too.


tyler-p-wilson

How did NO ONE ELSE MENTION THIS?!?


BaronVonFunke

Love the uncertainty about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.


ec_on_wc

His opinion could change if they APOLOGIZE.


harpejjist

Elizabeth Banks ELIZABETH BANKS Enough to put her twice. In a row! How is she worse than Hilary Swank?


heapsp

First one was after watching the power rangers remake. Second one in all caps was because the new Charlie's angels came on right afterwards


jipijipijipi

She is not, Hilary Swank is twice on the first page also.


greatnowimannoyed

Love that the entire Clinton and Trump families are on here. He doesn't have a solid agenda, he just has beef


Poseidon7296

He also has Hillary swank on there twice. Don’t know what she did to him but she’s especially not welcome


OMGitsV

Once in all caps!


keplar

Does the same with Elizabeth Banks, side by side in normal case and caps. I wonder if, amongst this person's other afflictions, they have fallen into the classic SovCit nonsense of believing that if you change the capitalization of the name, it means something legally different. This is honestly very sad - whomever this is, they have serious issues.


biggeektx

I see everyone from Trumps family except Melania. Wondering if he’s hopeful or forgetful.


trashhole9

Were the other wives there? Maybe he's just not up to date.


crochetquilt

Pres. Bidens there so that's recent, but Dr Jill Biden doesn't seem to be on the list unless she's from Chicago, as they have blanket banned Chicago People. I've not been to the USA but what's the usual stance on Chicago people? Yay or nay? All I'm saying is there's some places in Australia that I would hesitate to welcome visitors from so I get it.


JustAnotherChatSpam

Eh Chicago is just another place. Most people I have talked to don't have strong opinions unless they have had personal experience there


elizzybeth

Also Marty and Wendy Byrd of the show Ozark, just in case they step out of the TV set on the porch.


r_kay

He doesn't just have normal beef, this guy's got *Wagyu Beef*.


Birdy_Cephon_Altera

CHICAGO PEOPLE


buddernutter

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are both question marks. They should try their luck.


muggo5

He’s got fictional characters in there too, like Marty Byrd, Wendy Byrd, and ‘Helen’ from Ozark!


drunkpilot2

Will, Jaden, and Jada Smith. But Willow Smith is in the clear?


moodyfloyd

dude dislikes hillary swank enough to list her twice.


Mis_Bee_Have

Elizabeth Banks also


Team_Inkfluence

Paul Giamatti? Now that is just too far!!


chattcyclist

And Damian Lewis, must’ve not liked Billions lol


roosyroo

LDS church lol


ConstableGrey

*Nobody* like the Mormons knocking on the door.


mal221

Nick Cage? What a monster!


Peelboy

Lol that list is awesome Oprah Snoop Dog Biden Dr Dre Ben Affleck Kevin Bacon Chicago people lol just all of you...or maybe the band? Edit: just noticed the police business card, is he in Sandy Utah? If so I now want to know his address so I can go and add my name.


patchinthebox

I love that he put: Matt Damon? Ben Affleck? As if he was debating leaving them off. Lol


yummily

Mark Wahlberg 💕


Hot_Karl_Rove

My favorite: Helen. No last name, just Helen.


skelebone

One of the 30 Helens that agree.


postoperativepain

Queen Elizabeth - of all the people on the list she is probably the least likely to show up.


ATLHawksfan

Barring a Weekend at Bernie's situation, I don't think DMX is coming knocking


dhkendall

Thomas Mapother IV (aka Tom Cruise) Bradley Pitt (aka, well you can guess)


genevish

Must be since he added the entire Utah Supreme Court to the list


steaky_legs

One is just "Lamar" lmao. Tsk, you know what you did Lamar


justavtstudent

I'm seriously wondering what all these people have in common lmao...he really doesn't discriminate.


Conambo

Pen & Teller earning the top spot


ronsinblush

What could LL Cool J have ever done?


NotMyAlt-PinkySwear

Back in 1990, a scuffle occurred between Mr LL Cool James and this person, Mr LL Cool James advised the assault occurred under advisement of his mother , the details of which can be found [here](https://youtu.be/vimZj8HW0Kg)


ronsinblush

Notice “Mama” did not make the list even though she was clearly a co-conspirator in this alleged “knock out”.


wareagle995

He put UT Supreme Court so I'd say Utah.


Nihilator68

I’m digging the “Sandy City Police” business card wedged between the door and the jamb.


ideasofmind

Sandy PD floppies made the list too. I don’t know what floppies (or flappies) means though.


pacostacos7

It has the cast of Las Vegas and the cast of Saved by the Bell.


dumpsterrave

All things considered this is kind of a sad picture of poor mental health. Hope this person gets the help they need.


ronsinblush

The police card wedge into the door is a nice touch.


Hotthoughtss

I like the sequence of Von Miller, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Gisele Bundchen


Mis_Bee_Have

Marty and Wendy Byrd?! Are those people now? Hahahaha!


Nuke_Dukum

Thought the same thing. Guess he doesn’t like Ozark.


Paulsworldohya

Sorry Chicago people


Khahtt

That is an extensive list.


jtho78

Taking this photo just got you added.


i-like-to-pinch

I wonder if he thinks Mekhi Phifer and Michelle Pfeiffer are related, but then again that’s probably the least of his concerns


sergalahadabeer

They better be afraid of DMX knockin'


flor_de_loto2020

Lester Holt? What did he ever do to you?


Big-Square-6380

Maybe he doesn't like fiveheads


relikter

I see Eli Manning but not Peyton Manning, so that can't be the reason.