Crazy neighbor has a list of people who are not welcome on his front door
By - Illustrious_Welder94
**ALL FED. GOVT. EMPLOYEES + Paula Abdul**
My favorite lol
Is another good one.
My favorite is just "Chicago people"
My personal favorite is Neve Campbell. I imagine she is retired from acting and just goes door to door, advocating for some social cause, and knocked on this person's door, and they just got all upset because it was a cause they don't like, so they got all pissed off and basically black listed her from coming back to their house, and then like when Neve Campbell gets back to that neighborhood for a different social cause, she has to be like "no, we can't go to that house".
Well neve Campbell and the Arquettes are right next to each other, I imagined that he was triggered by Scream.
CHICAGO PEOPLE, the rats, QuestLove.
Theyre welcome alone, just not Federal Govt Employees accompanied by Paula Abdul. That crosses the line
Straight up now tell me.
Are ya really gonna ban me from your porch forever?
Oh oh oh.
Or are you just Q-anon
That was my favourite too. Nice pick.
How would one know what the list is for?
It just seems like a list of people they've been made aware exist.
Maybe it's like a Memento thing, lol.
I'm confused why Penn gets top billing. Members of both parties aren't invited from the looks.
Well at least he admits it.
That'd be an impressive trick.
Awww Marky mark gets a love heart.
3rd page, right column: *chicago people*. Well. Looks like I'm on the list.
Also he really doesn’t like Hilary swank. She’s listed twice. Helen? Who’s Helen? And all govt employees. That could be problematic for mail, if there is a fire, ems situation, etc..
My favorite is the Utah Supreme Court
Bothering to write this down, keep it updated, and post it on your front door just in case Tommy Lee Jones, or Eli Manning decides to pay you a visit is a special kind of crazy.
Kind of want to knock on his front door and say "I'm not on the list so I thought I was welcome."
I mean, I kind of get Penn, but... Teller?! What did Teller do, besides what Penn told him to do. How would Teller be #2 on the shitlist, and what would this person fear if Teller came to their door? Poor Teller...
Fun fact: Teller is the brains of the outfit and Penn is just a big, loud juggler.
While kind of true, that's Penn's own assessment of the pairing, but he's being pretty humble about it. Dude is insanely skilled. Is Teller a better magician? Yeah, technically, but it'd be like having Tom Brady and Peyton Manning together and Manning says "He's the real QB, I just chuck the ball and hope someone catches it."
Edit: Good lord ya can't make a simple analogy on this freaking website without a bunch of "well AKSHUALLY..." folks missing the goddamn point.
Yeah, they definitely work best as a team.
He had Trumps entire family on the first page. Say what you will. Dude just hates politicians.
There's a ♥️ after Mark Wahlberg, so maybe it's a list of people they like?
Maybe that just means his hatred for Mark whalberg lies deep within his heart
Might also indicate that he has a blood feud with Marky Mark, but that’s less likely
I thought so too because the list seems to be entirely celebrities but then it says "all fed govt employees" below Chicago people and above Paula Abdul.
It's probably a person who needs to be on meds. I used to have a neighbor that would cover his big window on the front of his house with hand written bible verses, conspiracy nonsense, and political garbage. He would talk about the government trying to spy on him, how he used to be friends with Hell's Angels, and women that used him for his money.
I mean there's a heart next to Mark Wahlberg. Maybe it's just a running list of people they've seen on tv that interested them... like ALL CHICAGO PEOPLE 😂
That one caught my eye too. Is it all people in the BAND Chicago or just all people from Chicago?
I mean, Robert Lamm and Jimmy Pankow even forgave Peter Cetera at some point.
This is what I'm wondering. Can't believe I had to scroll so far to find this comment.
Right? Maybe it's a list of invited guests
There’s a heart next to Mark Wahlberg’s name, so the guest list theory has more evidence than a banned list.
Now THAT would be an interesting party.
I like how he refers to stage names when mentioning Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre and DMX, but Ice Cube is referred to as O'Shea Jackson.
Also Lil Wayne is listed as Dwayne Carter
And Eminem is listed as “Marshall Mathers.” Wtf does this guy have against all of these famous people?
Plot twist: This is actually the front door to Trump’s house. Would make more sense honestly lmao
Edit: JK I just realized the Trumps are also listed. This guy has way too much free time, lol.
I noticed Jared kushner and Ivanka l, Donald trump sr, but not Donald trump jr…hmmm
Jr is under Ivanka, I didn't see Sr tho
Oh! It looked like a sr to me without my glasses on. Also, looks like “pres trump” is above the rest of the trumps
Along with "president Biden", "pres bush", and "Hussein Obama". Personally, my favorite listing is "UT Supreme Court".
I think my favorite is "Sgt. Thompson(?)" directly adjacent to what appears to be a police business card stuck in the door.
He also has Marty and Wendy Byrde, which are the main characters of the fictional show Ozark
He also has Jason Bateman and Laura Linney on there 😭😆
Hes just covering all the bases to be sure
He also has Emily Prentiss and Penelope Garcia who are both fictional characters from Criminal Minds but Penelope Garcia is crossed out? Maybe she made it up to him?
I was almost at the bottom of the list…
I was getting worried…
I thought they might… have…
Forgot about Dre.
"...Snoop doggy dog and dr. Dre is at the door..."
**Sees the board**
"...oh shit... Guess imma head out first and burst like a bubble..."
He has “Marty Byrd” and “Wendy Byrd” on there.
Those are the names of the characters Jason Bateman and Laura Linney (respectively) play in *Ozark.*
And just to be sure he's got Jason Bateman and Laura Linney as well
Hillary Swank is on there twice in the first two lines lol, one in caps. So she apparently really upset him. Which is...weirder than so much of the rest of this somehow.
I’d swing by at night and write my name on that list too.
Write *his* name on the list and see how he processes it.
You're about to write his mom's name and you realize she's first on the list.
His mom is Penn Gillette?!?
I thought you were kidding, but the first two names really are Penn and Teller.
And Hillary Clinton is 3rd 🤣🤣🤣
And Hilary Swank is on there twice
Elizabeth Banks is on there twice, back to back.
Sherry Stringfield is on there twice as well, I guess she pissed him off on an ER episode
He has to move, checkmate
There’s no way I’d step on that porch day or especially night.
Yeah no shit, that looks like a “shot through the front door” place
Add mine while you are at it please?
At some point he’s gonna need to switch to an opt-in list.
Fuckin guy looks like he would post the entire yellow pages on his porch.
I don't see my name there. I'm headed over.
Don’t bring Shaquille O’Neal with you! He’s not welcome!!!
Nor is Miley or Billy Ray Cyrus!!
As long as you're not from Chicago you should be welcomed with open arms. You might make the list while there however.
Chicago people and someone named Helen with no last name. Does that apply to anyone named Helen or is there a specific Helen, like Helen of Troy?
Could be the character, Helen, from Ozark. Wendy and Marty Byrd are on the list as well.
I really appreciate the double down, no Jason Bateman and Laura Linney AND no Marty and Wendy Byrd
Now I'm wondering if he means Chicago the band or the City of Chicago? Damn
The entire city. If you're from Chicago you're on his list.
She just causes drama, I wouldn't let her in either.
He doesn’t want a massive fleet of Greek warships arriving to evict her by force
I mean, just lock the door til they give you presents. I forget how the story ended, but I remember that much.
Top of the list; Penn Jillette.
This all started with Penn Jillette, just so y'all know!!! Yes, Teller is second.
What the fuck did Teller do? Man doesn't even talk. Lol guilty by association I guess.
I think the guy just threw him in, ya know, just in case BOTH decided to stop by, along with Halle Berry, Dr Phil and Jimmy Fallon.
and bradley pitt.
Fucked his wife, probably. Teller can get it.
He's a great listener.
Penn is very much anti-religion and outspoken about his disbelief in a God…what I wanna know is how anyone could have beef with Denzel Washington the guy is just awesome.
Denzel can stop by my place any time - even if he brings Penn and Teller with him.
But it looks like Hillary Swank made the list twice.
Giggled at Elizabeth Banks' 2 times because it was one right on top of the other like
I'm thinking he started with the Middle List, and has been adding them in a spiral outward from the center of the door.
Also - 'Marcel Proust'. This guy is thorough.
Someone saw an episode of Bullshit they didn't like... I wonder which one.
What's with the heart next to Mark Wahlberg? Is that his man crush?
He’s also not sure about Ben Affleck and Matt Damon lol
I went diving into the comments to see who I could commiserate with about this
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. And fuck you. I'm out.
I’m thinking OP’s title is misleading…
Does it say anywhere in this pic that these people aren’t welcome?
Maybe crazy neighbor just likes listing celebrities.
And Matt Damon? With the question mark. As if he wasn’t entirely sure. Same with Ben Affleck?
Good to know he was only on the fence about them.
How do you know that’s what the list is? Did your neighbor tell you that specifically or is it written there and I’m just missing it?
This is the [source](https://twitter.com/Literature_Lady/status/1419414850451685377?s=20) from Twitter.
Account has now gone private :-(
That tweet is inaccessible, you don't happen to have a screenshot?
[here ya go](https://i.imgur.com/JB0EGas.jpg) I can’t get into the thread though because he’s private. The gist of it was the dude has several restraining orders against him by his neighbors and he made this list in response to that. Hence the police card
The original tweet is from a relative of one of the neighbors. Apparently the entire neighborhood has a RO against him. He’s clearly crazy, but allegedly also a major dick to everyone in the neighborhood (unclear how tho...)
I'm wondering this too... From this picture it's just a list of names
Wonder how many of those people showed up and decided to turn around when they read their name.
Imagine how embarrassed Prince William was when he showed up with his wife who clearly is on the list. Sorry babe, can you wait in the car for a sec?
She can wait out there with Gisele Bundchen
Tom Brady is apparently allowed though
Eli and Peyton Manning in shambles
Prince William is on the list too
Shit, you’re right. Missing that probably puts me on the list.
Every single person on the list
Even Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre,?
Yes and BOTH Elizabeth Bankses.
They each showed up with a different Hillary Swank
And Biden and Bill Gates
Yeah, jay-z, shaq, Oprah and all the clintons showed up to wish him a happy birthday but left in tears when they saw that hurtful list.
Did the entire US Supreme Court come at once, or separately?
The all went in on an Uber together
And then there was that one time Chicago stopped by.
“CHICAGO PEOPLE” was my favorite too 😂
HILLARY SWANK! all caps lol
Actually says her name twice on that page. She must be real bad. Lol
He really double hates Elizabeth Banks also.
I just got here to point that one out too. I can just hear that person writing Elizabeth Banks once and then getting viscerally angry and needing to add the caps.
No one is going to comment that Greg Lowe got his name crossed off the list?? Can someone get Greg Lowe over there to find out why this guy hates everyone in the world except for Greg Lowe?
Maybe it's a Billy Madison situation
Love the police left a business card in there.
They want to chat....
Came here looking for this! I have so many questions!!
More than likely someone called for a wellness check, unfortunately they were on the list so they couldn’t go inside.
The answers to all of them are most likely schizophrenia.
That business card was left like that because they leave it like that and take a photo, and the person doesn't know the police left it there. So they open the door and it falls. And they can't put it back exactly right. The police can then tell if the person has (probably) left or not, which is important when serving warrants or wellness checks.
Well they couldn't go in, they are probably on the list there somewhere.
I'm assuming they're the Sandy PD Flappies (?)
Yep, and got the Utah Highway Patrol on there too.
How did NO ONE ELSE MENTION THIS?!?
Love the uncertainty about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
His opinion could change if they APOLOGIZE.
Enough to put her twice. In a row! How is she worse than Hilary Swank?
First one was after watching the power rangers remake. Second one in all caps was because the new Charlie's angels came on right afterwards
She is not, Hilary Swank is twice on the first page also.
Love that the entire Clinton and Trump families are on here. He doesn't have a solid agenda, he just has beef
He also has Hillary swank on there twice. Don’t know what she did to him but she’s especially not welcome
Once in all caps!
Does the same with Elizabeth Banks, side by side in normal case and caps.
I wonder if, amongst this person's other afflictions, they have fallen into the classic SovCit nonsense of believing that if you change the capitalization of the name, it means something legally different.
This is honestly very sad - whomever this is, they have serious issues.
I see everyone from Trumps family except Melania. Wondering if he’s hopeful or forgetful.
Were the other wives there? Maybe he's just not up to date.
Pres. Bidens there so that's recent, but Dr Jill Biden doesn't seem to be on the list unless she's from Chicago, as they have blanket banned Chicago People.
I've not been to the USA but what's the usual stance on Chicago people? Yay or nay? All I'm saying is there's some places in Australia that I would hesitate to welcome visitors from so I get it.
Eh Chicago is just another place. Most people I have talked to don't have strong opinions unless they have had personal experience there
Also Marty and Wendy Byrd of the show Ozark, just in case they step out of the TV set on the porch.
He doesn't just have normal beef, this guy's got *Wagyu Beef*.
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are both question marks. They should try their luck.
He’s got fictional characters in there too, like Marty Byrd, Wendy Byrd, and ‘Helen’ from Ozark!
Will, Jaden, and Jada Smith. But Willow Smith is in the clear?
dude dislikes hillary swank enough to list her twice.
Elizabeth Banks also
Paul Giamatti? Now that is just too far!!
And Damian Lewis, must’ve not liked Billions lol
LDS church lol
*Nobody* like the Mormons knocking on the door.
Nick Cage? What a monster!
Lol that list is awesome
Chicago people lol just all of you...or maybe the band?
Edit: just noticed the police business card, is he in Sandy Utah? If so I now want to know his address so I can go and add my name.
I love that he put:
As if he was debating leaving them off. Lol
Mark Wahlberg 💕
My favorite: Helen.
No last name, just Helen.
One of the 30 Helens that agree.
Queen Elizabeth - of all the people on the list she is probably the least likely to show up.
Barring a Weekend at Bernie's situation, I don't think DMX is coming knocking
Thomas Mapother IV (aka Tom Cruise)
Bradley Pitt (aka, well you can guess)
Must be since he added the entire Utah Supreme Court to the list
One is just "Lamar" lmao. Tsk, you know what you did Lamar
I'm seriously wondering what all these people have in common lmao...he really doesn't discriminate.
Pen & Teller earning the top spot
What could LL Cool J have ever done?
Back in 1990, a scuffle occurred between Mr LL Cool James and this person, Mr LL Cool James advised the assault occurred under advisement of his mother , the details of which can be found [here](https://youtu.be/vimZj8HW0Kg)
Notice “Mama” did not make the list even though she was clearly a co-conspirator in this alleged “knock out”.
He put UT Supreme Court so I'd say Utah.
I’m digging the “Sandy City Police” business card wedged between the door and the jamb.
Sandy PD floppies made the list too. I don’t know what floppies (or flappies) means though.
It has the cast of Las Vegas and the cast of Saved by the Bell.
All things considered this is kind of a sad picture of poor mental health. Hope this person gets the help they need.
The police card wedge into the door is a nice touch.
I like the sequence of Von Miller, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Gisele Bundchen
Marty and Wendy Byrd?! Are those people now? Hahahaha!
Thought the same thing. Guess he doesn’t like Ozark.
Sorry Chicago people
That is an extensive list.
Taking this photo just got you added.
I wonder if he thinks Mekhi Phifer and Michelle Pfeiffer are related, but then again that’s probably the least of his concerns
They better be afraid of DMX knockin'
Lester Holt? What did he ever do to you?
Maybe he doesn't like fiveheads
I see Eli Manning but not Peyton Manning, so that can't be the reason.