T O P
UrMthrWantsMee

She'll regret this when she hasn't seen you for a week and opens the door to discovered a mound of beer cans, hot pockets, and a piss bucket.


top_notch_thug

Fortunately our kids wouldn’t allow me THAT much freedom hahaha


BullMan-792

Whoa whoa whoa, you’ve got kids??? Wife her up, bro


top_notch_thug

Unfortunately, in America, if we get married then our incomes combine and then we lose the free health insurance for our kids and her. Dumb thing is if it wasn’t free we wouldn’t be able to afford it even with combined.


space2occupy

I would double check that (ignore me if you have already with an outside expert source). Married couples get a 24k deduction on their taxes so you might still be eligible for your health insurance.


AnotherCupofJo

Its not that simple and a 24k deduction isn't 24k in your pocket. Insurance for a family of four can be expensive as fuck. I pay 1400 for my wife and I alone.


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Beermedear

Dude I’m so sorry you’re constrained by that. That’s the dumbest shit ever. Enjoy the games tho! My oldest loves Astro Lounge!


BullMan-792

Yeah the government kinda ruined marriage, didn’t it? For that and other reasons. I suppose you could get married and just keep it out of any legal stuff. They’re not gonna come after you for getting married and not telling the government. Just an idea. Good luck!


Renvex_

>They’re not gonna come after you for getting married and not telling the government. I mean, it would technically be committing a federal crime every time he doesn't tick the married box on any government form he fills out from that point forward.


BullMan-792

Sure, but they would actually get a tax break if they were married. Without ticking that box, they pay more taxes. I don’t think the government will complain.


ShadowDrake777

If marriage means something to you definitely wife her up without making it Legal. Your vows should be more important than a legal document.


StruggleAutomatic567

What? Why do you need marriage if not for the legal document?


ixramuffin

Marriage is also a social contract. It signals to friends and family that you are a lifelong committed couple. Moreover, peer pressure from friends and family makes it hard for many people to divorce.


readitonreddit86

If peer pressure is the only thing keeping a marriage together then it just needs to be over. Let them live their life how they want to live it.


ixramuffin

Right, nobody said that peer pressure is the only thing keeping a marriage together, but thank you for your insight.


ShadowDrake777

Because it has meaning beyond a legal document


GaaraSama83

For some people it doesn't. Just being together as long as it works is enough for me.


ShadowDrake777

it’s almost like that’s what I said 😱


StruggleAutomatic567

The government is literally the only reason to get married... It's a legal document


BullMan-792

That’s not true at all. It’s a religious ceremony. That’s what it was for thousands of years before the government got its grubby little hands on it


FreedomVIII

Ceremony, yes, but not always religious, as much as religions like to lay claim to such fundamental aspects of (edit: human) life.


jvalex18

Marrying is not fundamental at all. It's not even an aspect of life.


FreedomVIII

Picking a partner (or partners) to live for extended periods of time together has consistently been a pretty fundamental part of life.


jvalex18

Religions are just political tool. Religions are pretty much a government themselves.


lRhanonl

Wow, where I live people marry to save taxes.


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eternal-phoenix

Sorry for my ignorance - I'm a bit confused how marriage in the US can be so visibly detrimental. Care to explain?


crob_evamp

If both parties are very poor individually, there are certain programs available to assist. However, if they get married their combined income means they make juuuust enough to no longer qualify. I think there's more to this, and that there would be programs still available, but I don't want to claim I've researched this more than OP.


sfoxx

True there are options but she has to be reevaluated for disability which is often a lengthy process. It is cheaper to just let it be. In my mind we are already married anyway.


sfoxx

I edited my original comment!


Total-Khaos

Hold up. Is that a teeny tiny piano?


jvalex18

Marriage is pretty much useless.


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beatzme

You forgot the un...


Dumguy1214

the pros use poop socks


Cheddarlicious

You’d sacrifice a bucket for pee when you could just drink it? What a weirdo.


DarkTechnocrat

Bruh there's probably a trail of bodies involved, tell her to lay low for a bit.


top_notch_thug

Always getting me into some scheme smh


Philly927

Where are people finding these?!


top_notch_thug

Scalpers 😩


maxsteel126

*He obviously meant the girlfriend*


Renvex_

You don't get your girlfriends from scalpers?


turtyurt

I get my scalps from my girlfriend


WCGWjoiningReddit

Nooooooooooo


Faelysis

Just call your game shop and make a reservation. Most of the time, you get your console 1-2 week after


IvePlowedYourMother

Elden ring? That happiness is going to turn into fits of rage and frustration real quick


top_notch_thug

Oh trust me, I know. Luckily I’m going to finish the last bit of Ghost of Tsushima as my first experience with it before I prepare the long rubber glove for Elden.


IvePlowedYourMother

It’s fun now. I f’ing hated it at first. It’s my first dark souls game.


Mallouwed

Yo i hear you, I nearly stopped playing completly about 4.5 hours in, hated it so much. Im now at about 20 hours maybe and enjoying it (mostly?) in small sessions


Dumguy1214

its designed for ps/xb controllers and runs better on them, review played on pc was not the happiest, map G button, heal you have to let go of the mouse and push down button and select health bottle, choppy etc


Thank_You_Love_You

Its actually by far the easiest one. As someone who dies alot in medium difficulty games im one-shotting most bosses because exploring gets you alot of good summons, items, and levels. There’s a few bosses who still curb stomped me (Radahn) but im finding majority of bosses are one and done. If i run into a boss giving me trouble, i mark it on the map and go elsewhere. Might be the best game ive ever played. It’s massive.


Machiel1908

Every time i died in that game it brought a smile to my face.


Grayfox215th

Marry her.


top_notch_thug

I already proposed. She’s not even a gamer but she fully supports my interests in it.


gastroboi

You found a partner that supports your interests, even though it's not one of hers. Take good care of that one bro. You lucked out.


sean0883

I didn't realize how important that was until I met my current (2nd) wife came along. To anyone reading this: don't settle for someone that doesn't respect your hobbies - no matter how much you get along otherwise. It may seem fine for a long while as you explore the areas you do have in common, but it really wears on you to have to ignore or dance around the interests they don't respect. I'm not saying they have to share your hobbies. They just have to respect them.


eternal-phoenix

This!


white-mane

What boss/side quest did you have to complete to find that legendary girlfriend?


top_notch_thug

Overcoming 24 years of trauma to be stable enough to be a stable partner and also step dad to her kiddos :) her and the kids saved my life.


Grayfox215th

That’s all that matters


KronosTD

You better suck her fictitious dick so hard tonight. Don't forget to cup the balls


top_notch_thug

I’m bringing out the knee pads tonight, boys.


KronosTD

Also dude. I creeped your profile a little bit. Your Pokemon cards kinda gave me a chubby


top_notch_thug

I had to stop collecting because of the price of living right now but it was a real blast while it lasted :)


KronosTD

Good man


Mechbeast

Treat her well. She’s a keeper.


[deleted]

Take notes, op. You will thank us later


Wraithkingslayer

also swallow the gravy - tropic thunder.


[deleted]

Don’t forget plenty of lube just incase


KronosTD

Preferably flavored


bewbsrkewl

Yo man, the novation launchkey mini mk3 is a great midi controller.


AusGeno

Manowar! I see you’re also a man of culture.


top_notch_thug

🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽


Foxykid09

So lucky she found one! I've been trying to get one for my husband and amy that I've found have the prices gouged so high it's outrageous.


top_notch_thug

She paid that gouged price…😅


AvoidableHawk

I wish to have a girlfriend like that


top_notch_thug

One day!


daver456

If you ever stop playing Elden Ring pick up Ghost of Tsushima. That game is a fucking masterpiece.


top_notch_thug

Funny thing is that I saved the very last level of that for the day I got a ps5 as a reward to myself. The downside of that was I’ve been traversing and doing so many side quests that I beat the khan first try, full health. Was worth the wait. The graphics took both of our breaths away though. Immediately addicted to that world all over again. New Game + here I come!


DarthDregan

Oh Elden Ring will cure you of that happiness continually.


Appropriate_Order797

Dam you girlfriend is so dam awesome


Reddit-Nebula

She's a keeper, who might not see you for a while because of those gifts.😂


Guitarist53188

Ol lady did that for me with a PS4. You'll never be able to pay that back. I'm happy for you and sad lol. Enjoy bro


Jaxblackfyre

Living that thug life, hope you both get some enjoyment out of the PS5


top_notch_thug

Already finished Tsushima on it today!


lucifist

If you see any bloodstains on the box, you keep your mouth shut and pretend you did not!


top_notch_thug

None in the box but plenty in the game


RayGungHo

Are those Pokémon or M:TG cards?


top_notch_thug

Pokémon


quasyt

Interested in card binder.


top_notch_thug

It’s an original 1999 Pokémon binder with all my fave cards


quasyt

Sexual


Zybec

You misspelled fiancé


StormTrooperGreedo

I think she's trying to tell you that she wants a ring of her own.


top_notch_thug

She has one! Haha


PsychologicalServe15

Just be careful not to break shit when playing that game.


top_notch_thug

I can’t afford to


Hackeyking

Her other boyfriend bought it for you.


Snifk

Wife*


-Captain-

She now expects a certain ring from you as well.


NeoVaihlo

Words cannot describe the level of envy I have of you right now. You marry that woman.


thaddeus424

This reminds me of the time my then girlfriend told me I was absolutely not getting a launch PS4 for Christmas. She didn't have the money, she said. And I believed her because she worked part time at the restaurant we met at. Turns out, she'd been getting secret rides to Walmart and putting every eight, fifteen, thirty-four dollars - whatever cash she had at the time from waiting tables - on layaway. For a launch PS4. We were poor. I mean, pooor. Three winters in a row, I think, we were too broke to pay the deposit to have the gas heat turned on. But she knew how excited I was about the new console coming out. And I never, ever treated myself back then. Always everyone else. I'll never forget opening that box. Said it was a "bed-in-a-bag." She and I got a lot wrong, but Lord, did she do that right. Enjoy, OP.


T_Wired

Better to be in debt with the wife or gf than in debt to the bank


top_notch_thug

I like that! Lmao


jmmcnall

The debt comes when you're spending hours on that thing everyday.


darktitter

I have that same Pokemon card binder. 😬


AccomplishedBat3988

Get a job, loser.


The_Adamant_Articles

3 months salary in a ring is probably expected


top_notch_thug

It’s only a few days salary for us honestly. I just try not to buy things I don’t need and save for my childrens’ future.


PlanesWalker308

Let's see those pokemon cards!


-Gr4ppl3r-

My wife keeps commenting on how I have not left her for “that game” yet this morning.


kingcop1

Ps5 is meh but that game she gave you imma say she is one hell of a keeper


blode_bou558

Elden Ring too? I think she might be telling you she needs a bit of a break /j


top_notch_thug

I haven’t gotten to play it much bc she took it from me hahaha


Dobgob7

That girl is a keeper my friend


top_notch_thug

Very much so!


rayw3n

She waiting for your ring now.


cjpcodyplant

Is Eldon Ring optimized any better for the PlayStation then it is for the PC?


blohmkin

Until she leaves and takes it with her.


EverquestJunky

Grats


FarOutSonOfLung

I envy you. Lol


Nigel_Trumpberry

Hey congrats buddy!! I hope you enjoy the heck out of it! My gf are trying to go halfies on one, but God knows when we’ll find one that isn’t over $800


BrustBizeps

The tax for that is another ring, not the elden one


NyanCatMatt

When I was in high school, my girlfriend at the time got me Halo 3 when it came out as a Christmas gift. It's the nicest thing a girlfriend has ever gotten me.


Choongboy

In an era of massive disappointments I still can’t believe how good this game is. FYI I’ve never played a souls game before


Stonehill76

Well worth the ring and commitment this will cost you.


top_notch_thug

It was worth it before this!


PalebloodSky

Congrats, like 20 hours into Elden Ring it's absolutely awesome but my username should check out.


IforgotwhatIwasdoing

'To' your wife, not 'with' her. Made it sound like you were about to lose the house; or, more likely these days, the apartment.


top_notch_thug

Good point. I enjoy being corrected so I actually appreciate this.


dustytrenchcoat

Pokémon cards and a manowar patch - I see you're a man of culture as well


Eviscerate-You

Better put a fuckin ring on that one bud


Fathoms77

You do realize there needs to be some form of reciprocity here, right...? At least at some point? ;)


top_notch_thug

Oh absolutely. I’m pulling out all the breaks for our anniversary.


DFuel

Wow. This is amazing


top_notch_thug

No you


strownsu1

ENJOY!! Elden ring is AMAZING. First souls game and I’ve had it since last Friday with almost 40’hours on it and that’s mainly staying up at night because of the kids. And remember, GET GOOD


Reisario

In the words of a great admiral... "It's a trap!!!"


Adeno

She loves you a lot.


top_notch_thug

I truly hope so. As I her.


TBoneHolmes

Nice. Now dump her and keep the PlayStation. WIN!!!


top_notch_thug

Lmao Christ noooooooooo


lastofusgr8tstever

Lol my wife would never buy it for me but she fully supports me having mine so I am not bugging her when she does her hobbies lol


brentonofrivia

Marry her


culinaryexcellence

Well you have 365 days to get her a ring or ur in hot water. Welcome to the club and enjoy it.


top_notch_thug

Already gave her one!


ecoliduck

Don’t forget Horizon!


Bowtie16bit

Consoles. Blech.


WutzUpples69

Happy until you walk out of the tutorial area and HAVE to fight the tree sentinel. It's not optional, you have to.


top_notch_thug

The only fromsoft game that I’m good at is Sekiro. So it being more souls I know I’m going to get fucked up but…I think this one I’ll want to make it through the rough patches.


WutzUpples69

Haha, skip the tree sentinel unless you're feeling it. It can be done but it's not necessary.


HighSouth

If you’re good at Sekiro you should have a solid advantage. I’ve beaten Dark Souls 1-3, Demon’s Souls and platinum’d BloodBorne and Sekiro is still the only one I struggle with. Elden ring should be cake for you.


HighSouth

Not true at all. The purpose of the tree sentinel is to show you that just because you can get to an enemy or boss doesn’t mean you’ll be ready.


PDRickelton

She’s a keeper


alive99

she's a keeper ! 😉😉😉


Spobobich

She wants you to use the money you would've spent on the PS5 and Elder Scrolls and put a ring on her finger. /s 😜


top_notch_thug

I did already! :)


Honest_Register_449

Ps5 sucks dick!


ANT_FBI31

You have a gf so you where indebted to her regardless! Because most men get stepped on and used in relationships


TheRealMe-_-

Congratulations my boy.


adrunktherapist

Congrats! P.S. don’t try jumping


PerfectUnlawfulness

Take the win. Reward the wife.


mahonii

Had a ps5 since august but just bought elden ring last night and I can't so hard games. Am an idiot but the game looks so good, I'll just take it damn slow and farm everything


LokiNinja

I was hoping it would be more like a new Conan MMORPG but it's not. 0/10


NAhko_Jo

Have fun bro. Goes easy on the controller, ps really did take the pegging on this gen


lokisingularity

Wifey material


HollywoodHa1o

This made my day. Happy for you!!!


ProfessoriSepi

Dude... Just dont fuck this up.


Beard_Lyfe87

Rise, Tarnished.


theguyoverhere24

*breaks controller an hour later after attempting tree sentinel for the 30th time*


AndrewWOz

Elden Ring. Good choice, you’ll be throwing the console at the tv in no time :p


zurzoth

Mine was supposed to come in 2 days ago, but then got delayed.. have fun!


Gorcrow

I entered one of these life debts with my wife over ordering my PC last year. I wanted a balls to walls top of the line pc for the first time in my life. Its been a year and a half and just last month I filled all of my contractually obligated sexual acts to pay for this Pc. So basically I am a prostitute now, It was hard work but its been worth it.


ChreNoir

I don't know which one is harder to find these days: PS5 on a reasonable price, or a girlfriend who loves you so much she buys you one. Theoretical question, no need to answer. It's PS5, obviously.


Thebrains44

I would also be in life long debt buying one of those, damn even the pS4 is stupid expensive


AlphonseLai

Confused people would be like isn’t Elden Ring gonna give u a lot of pain and agony?


Javasteam

Glad to hear she finally got you that keyboard you always wanted.


DarkerSavant

Looks more like a death threat lol. Prepare to die!!!


[deleted]

I’m sorry but like I just don’t understand these posts lol. How long have you been wanting a ps5 and talking about it? You’re a grown man and eventually just didn’t get it for yourself? Life long debt? XD


t1sfo

Enjoy it dude, I got the ps5 a few months back and it had been a blast till now. Also since Elden ring came out I’ve been having the best time gaming. It is for sure an amazing game. Have fun and see you in the lands between.


Malina_Island

Damn... That's just beautiful..


vaan0011

I hope she didn't pay like double the price for those scalper just to get you this.


Synner1985

That or she wants to see you suffer being abused on Elden ring, either way congratulations :D


hostidz

enjoy ;)


Toeslap

Bro, where did she find that binder?


Alarmed-Discussion64

Go tell it On The Mountain 🏔 for ALL MEN TO HEAR AND KNOW THAT IS GOOD TO BE A GAMER MAN !!!!


IShadoowI

she loves u


Teamfreshcanada

Tell the tree sentinel I said hi


HimForHer

And when you start playing Elden Ring, I fear for the life and safety of your controller.


gluttonusrex

Congrats dude, what a Pog moment


kloudrunner

Dude. You just got married without realising. But worth it.


ionshower

Show her your love is strong...Also get Returnal...and another pad for the coop.


ThisIsLoganBlyat

I just hope she didn't buy you Elden Ring expecting a wedding ring in return. Enjoy the game though


Pliskkenn_D

You mean your future wife?


TappedIn2111

Sooo, what I’m getting is I should non stop talk about the PS5 to my wife and I’ll get one or lose here. It’s a risk/reward thing….let’s see how far I can push it.