By - top_notch_thug
She'll regret this when she hasn't seen you for a week and opens the door to discovered a mound of beer cans, hot pockets, and a piss bucket.
Fortunately our kids wouldn’t allow me THAT much freedom hahaha
Whoa whoa whoa, you’ve got kids??? Wife her up, bro
Unfortunately, in America, if we get married then our incomes combine and then we lose the free health insurance for our kids and her. Dumb thing is if it wasn’t free we wouldn’t be able to afford it even with combined.
I would double check that (ignore me if you have already with an outside expert source). Married couples get a 24k deduction on their taxes so you might still be eligible for your health insurance.
Its not that simple and a 24k deduction isn't 24k in your pocket. Insurance for a family of four can be expensive as fuck. I pay 1400 for my wife and I alone.
Dude I’m so sorry you’re constrained by that. That’s the dumbest shit ever.
Enjoy the games tho! My oldest loves Astro Lounge!
Yeah the government kinda ruined marriage, didn’t it? For that and other reasons.
I suppose you could get married and just keep it out of any legal stuff. They’re not gonna come after you for getting married and not telling the government. Just an idea. Good luck!
>They’re not gonna come after you for getting married and not telling the government.
I mean, it would technically be committing a federal crime every time he doesn't tick the married box on any government form he fills out from that point forward.
Sure, but they would actually get a tax break if they were married. Without ticking that box, they pay more taxes. I don’t think the government will complain.
If marriage means something to you definitely wife her up without making it Legal. Your vows should be more important than a legal document.
What? Why do you need marriage if not for the legal document?
Marriage is also a social contract. It signals to friends and family that you are a lifelong committed couple. Moreover, peer pressure from friends and family makes it hard for many people to divorce.
If peer pressure is the only thing keeping a marriage together then it just needs to be over. Let them live their life how they want to live it.
Right, nobody said that peer pressure is the only thing keeping a marriage together, but thank you for your insight.
Because it has meaning beyond a legal document
For some people it doesn't. Just being together as long as it works is enough for me.
it’s almost like that’s what I said 😱
The government is literally the only reason to get married... It's a legal document
That’s not true at all. It’s a religious ceremony. That’s what it was for thousands of years before the government got its grubby little hands on it
Ceremony, yes, but not always religious, as much as religions like to lay claim to such fundamental aspects of (edit: human) life.
Marrying is not fundamental at all. It's not even an aspect of life.
Picking a partner (or partners) to live for extended periods of time together has consistently been a pretty fundamental part of life.
Religions are just political tool. Religions are pretty much a government themselves.
Wow, where I live people marry to save taxes.
Sorry for my ignorance - I'm a bit confused how marriage in the US can be so visibly detrimental. Care to explain?
If both parties are very poor individually, there are certain programs available to assist. However, if they get married their combined income means they make juuuust enough to no longer qualify.
I think there's more to this, and that there would be programs still available, but I don't want to claim I've researched this more than OP.
True there are options but she has to be reevaluated for disability which is often a lengthy process.
It is cheaper to just let it be. In my mind we are already married anyway.
I edited my original comment!
Hold up. Is that a teeny tiny piano?
Marriage is pretty much useless.
You forgot the un...
the pros use poop socks
You’d sacrifice a bucket for pee when you could just drink it? What a weirdo.
Bruh there's probably a trail of bodies involved, tell her to lay low for a bit.
Always getting me into some scheme smh
Where are people finding these?!
*He obviously meant the girlfriend*
You don't get your girlfriends from scalpers?
I get my scalps from my girlfriend
Just call your game shop and make a reservation. Most of the time, you get your console 1-2 week after
Elden ring? That happiness is going to turn into fits of rage and frustration real quick
Oh trust me, I know. Luckily I’m going to finish the last bit of Ghost of Tsushima as my first experience with it before I prepare the long rubber glove for Elden.
It’s fun now. I f’ing hated it at first. It’s my first dark souls game.
Yo i hear you, I nearly stopped playing completly about 4.5 hours in, hated it so much. Im now at about 20 hours maybe and enjoying it (mostly?) in small sessions
its designed for ps/xb controllers and runs better on them, review played on pc was not the happiest, map G button, heal you have to let go of the mouse and push down button and select health bottle, choppy etc
Its actually by far the easiest one. As someone who dies alot in medium difficulty games im one-shotting most bosses because exploring gets you alot of good summons, items, and levels. There’s a few bosses who still curb stomped me (Radahn) but im finding majority of bosses are one and done. If i run into a boss giving me trouble, i mark it on the map and go elsewhere.
Might be the best game ive ever played. It’s massive.
Every time i died in that game it brought a smile to my face.
I already proposed. She’s not even a gamer but she fully supports my interests in it.
You found a partner that supports your interests, even though it's not one of hers. Take good care of that one bro. You lucked out.
I didn't realize how important that was until I met my current (2nd) wife came along.
To anyone reading this: don't settle for someone that doesn't respect your hobbies - no matter how much you get along otherwise. It may seem fine for a long while as you explore the areas you do have in common, but it really wears on you to have to ignore or dance around the interests they don't respect.
I'm not saying they have to share your hobbies. They just have to respect them.
What boss/side quest did you have to complete to find that legendary girlfriend?
Overcoming 24 years of trauma to be stable enough to be a stable partner and also step dad to her kiddos :) her and the kids saved my life.
That’s all that matters
You better suck her fictitious dick so hard tonight. Don't forget to cup the balls
I’m bringing out the knee pads tonight, boys.
Also dude. I creeped your profile a little bit. Your Pokemon cards kinda gave me a chubby
I had to stop collecting because of the price of living right now but it was a real blast while it lasted :)
Treat her well. She’s a keeper.
Take notes, op. You will thank us later
also swallow the gravy - tropic thunder.
Don’t forget plenty of lube just incase
Yo man, the novation launchkey mini mk3 is a great midi controller.
Manowar! I see you’re also a man of culture.
So lucky she found one! I've been trying to get one for my husband and amy that I've found have the prices gouged so high it's outrageous.
She paid that gouged price…😅
I wish to have a girlfriend like that
If you ever stop playing Elden Ring pick up Ghost of Tsushima. That game is a fucking masterpiece.
Funny thing is that I saved the very last level of that for the day I got a ps5 as a reward to myself. The downside of that was I’ve been traversing and doing so many side quests that I beat the khan first try, full health. Was worth the wait. The graphics took both of our breaths away though. Immediately addicted to that world all over again. New Game + here I come!
Oh Elden Ring will cure you of that happiness continually.
Dam you girlfriend is so dam awesome
She's a keeper, who might not see you for a while because of those gifts.😂
Ol lady did that for me with a PS4. You'll never be able to pay that back. I'm happy for you and sad lol. Enjoy bro
Living that thug life, hope you both get some enjoyment out of the PS5
Already finished Tsushima on it today!
If you see any bloodstains on the box, you keep your mouth shut and pretend you did not!
None in the box but plenty in the game
Are those Pokémon or M:TG cards?
Interested in card binder.
It’s an original 1999 Pokémon binder with all my fave cards
You misspelled fiancé
I think she's trying to tell you that she wants a ring of her own.
She has one! Haha
Just be careful not to break shit when playing that game.
I can’t afford to
Her other boyfriend bought it for you.
She now expects a certain ring from you as well.
Words cannot describe the level of envy I have of you right now. You marry that woman.
This reminds me of the time my then girlfriend told me I was absolutely not getting a launch PS4 for Christmas.
She didn't have the money, she said. And I believed her because she worked part time at the restaurant we met at.
Turns out, she'd been getting secret rides to Walmart and putting every eight, fifteen, thirty-four dollars - whatever cash she had at the time from waiting tables - on layaway. For a launch PS4.
We were poor. I mean, pooor. Three winters in a row, I think, we were too broke to pay the deposit to have the gas heat turned on.
But she knew how excited I was about the new console coming out. And I never, ever treated myself back then. Always everyone else.
I'll never forget opening that box. Said it was a "bed-in-a-bag."
She and I got a lot wrong, but Lord, did she do that right.
Better to be in debt with the wife or gf than in debt to the bank
I like that! Lmao
The debt comes when you're spending hours on that thing everyday.
I have that same Pokemon card binder. 😬
Get a job, loser.
3 months salary in a ring is probably expected
It’s only a few days salary for us honestly. I just try not to buy things I don’t need and save for my childrens’ future.
Let's see those pokemon cards!
My wife keeps commenting on how I have not left her for “that game” yet this morning.
Ps5 is meh but that game she gave you imma say she is one hell of a keeper
Elden Ring too? I think she might be telling you she needs a bit of a break /j
I haven’t gotten to play it much bc she took it from me hahaha
That girl is a keeper my friend
Very much so!
She waiting for your ring now.
Is Eldon Ring optimized any better for the PlayStation then it is for the PC?
Until she leaves and takes it with her.
I envy you. Lol
Hey congrats buddy!! I hope you enjoy the heck out of it! My gf are trying to go halfies on one, but God knows when we’ll find one that isn’t over $800
The tax for that is another ring, not the elden one
When I was in high school, my girlfriend at the time got me Halo 3 when it came out as a Christmas gift. It's the nicest thing a girlfriend has ever gotten me.
In an era of massive disappointments I still can’t believe how good this game is. FYI I’ve never played a souls game before
Well worth the ring and commitment this will cost you.
It was worth it before this!
Congrats, like 20 hours into Elden Ring it's absolutely awesome but my username should check out.
'To' your wife, not 'with' her. Made it sound like you were about to lose the house; or, more likely these days, the apartment.
Good point. I enjoy being corrected so I actually appreciate this.
Pokémon cards and a manowar patch - I see you're a man of culture as well
Better put a fuckin ring on that one bud
You do realize there needs to be some form of reciprocity here, right...? At least at some point? ;)
Oh absolutely. I’m pulling out all the breaks for our anniversary.
Wow. This is amazing
ENJOY!! Elden ring is AMAZING. First souls game and I’ve had it since last Friday with almost 40’hours on it and that’s mainly staying up at night because of the kids. And remember, GET GOOD
In the words of a great admiral... "It's a trap!!!"
She loves you a lot.
I truly hope so. As I her.
Nice. Now dump her and keep the PlayStation. WIN!!!
Lmao Christ noooooooooo
Lol my wife would never buy it for me but she fully supports me having mine so I am not bugging her when she does her hobbies lol
Well you have 365 days to get her a ring or ur in hot water. Welcome to the club and enjoy it.
Already gave her one!
Don’t forget Horizon!
Happy until you walk out of the tutorial area and HAVE to fight the tree sentinel. It's not optional, you have to.
The only fromsoft game that I’m good at is Sekiro. So it being more souls I know I’m going to get fucked up but…I think this one I’ll want to make it through the rough patches.
Haha, skip the tree sentinel unless you're feeling it. It can be done but it's not necessary.
If you’re good at Sekiro you should have a solid advantage. I’ve beaten Dark Souls 1-3, Demon’s Souls and platinum’d BloodBorne and Sekiro is still the only one I struggle with. Elden ring should be cake for you.
Not true at all. The purpose of the tree sentinel is to show you that just because you can get to an enemy or boss doesn’t mean you’ll be ready.
She’s a keeper
she's a keeper ! 😉😉😉
She wants you to use the money you would've spent on the PS5 and Elder Scrolls and put a ring on her finger. /s 😜
I did already! :)
Ps5 sucks dick!
You have a gf so you where indebted to her regardless! Because most men get stepped on and used in relationships
Congratulations my boy.
P.S. don’t try jumping
Take the win. Reward the wife.
Had a ps5 since august but just bought elden ring last night and I can't so hard games. Am an idiot but the game looks so good, I'll just take it damn slow and farm everything
I was hoping it would be more like a new Conan MMORPG but it's not. 0/10
Have fun bro. Goes easy on the controller, ps really did take the pegging on this gen
This made my day. Happy for you!!!
Just dont fuck this up.
*breaks controller an hour later after attempting tree sentinel for the 30th time*
Elden Ring. Good choice, you’ll be throwing the console at the tv in no time :p
Mine was supposed to come in 2 days ago, but then got delayed.. have fun!
I entered one of these life debts with my wife over ordering my PC last year. I wanted a balls to walls top of the line pc for the first time in my life. Its been a year and a half and just last month I filled all of my contractually obligated sexual acts to pay for this Pc. So basically I am a prostitute now, It was hard work but its been worth it.
I don't know which one is harder to find these days: PS5 on a reasonable price, or a girlfriend who loves you so much she buys you one. Theoretical question, no need to answer. It's PS5, obviously.
I would also be in life long debt buying one of those, damn even the pS4 is stupid expensive
Confused people would be like isn’t Elden Ring gonna give u a lot of pain and agony?
Glad to hear she finally got you that keyboard you always wanted.
Looks more like a death threat lol. Prepare to die!!!
I’m sorry but like I just don’t understand these posts lol. How long have you been wanting a ps5 and talking about it? You’re a grown man and eventually just didn’t get it for yourself? Life long debt? XD
Enjoy it dude, I got the ps5 a few months back and it had been a blast till now. Also since Elden ring came out I’ve been having the best time gaming. It is for sure an amazing game. Have fun and see you in the lands between.
Damn... That's just beautiful..
I hope she didn't pay like double the price for those scalper just to get you this.
That or she wants to see you suffer being abused on Elden ring, either way congratulations :D
Bro, where did she find that binder?
Go tell it On The Mountain 🏔 for ALL MEN TO HEAR AND KNOW THAT IS GOOD TO BE A GAMER MAN !!!!
she loves u
Tell the tree sentinel I said hi
And when you start playing Elden Ring, I fear for the life and safety of your controller.
Congrats dude, what a Pog moment
Dude. You just got married without realising.
But worth it.
Show her your love is strong...Also get Returnal...and another pad for the coop.
I just hope she didn't buy you Elden Ring expecting a wedding ring in return. Enjoy the game though
You mean your future wife?
Sooo, what I’m getting is I should non stop talk about the PS5 to my wife and I’ll get one or lose here. It’s a risk/reward thing….let’s see how far I can push it.