I highly doubt it is only old people. It's not like there is a massive difference in beauty standards for men in the past 100 years. An attractive guy from 1923 is still most likely attractive in 2023. If it's happening a decent amount, most likely you are attractive to the majority of the population, but old people are the only ones with the courage to just outright tell you.
Exactly. Well, not courage, old people just don't give a fuck and say whatever is on their mind - nice or offensive. They just... roll. Same with driving, a blissful experience really.
Old ladies are the biggest players I swear lmao. This woman would come in all the time and be like āthereās my boyfriendā callin me honey and winkin at me and shit
>your ass pussy is lookin fine as hell
It's called "bussy" my dear friend, I would recommend to only use the appropriate terminology for such important aspects of life.
Yeah, I was thinking how this is a wholesome idea until grandma starts verbally fantasizing about the cashier's cock and starts following him home after work.
It's actually really nice if you find yourself in a culture that is comfortable with men complementing men... I felt a bit awkward at first, but then I embraced it.
You misunderstand. To me, my looks are the last thing I want people focusing on. I don't put any effort into them, so I couldn't care less what people think of them. A compliment for looks just feels like a participation trophy for me. My work on the otherhand, that's something I did put my blood, sweat, and tears into and it feels really good when people are satisfied with what I do. Even if all I get from it is a simple thank you, it makes me feel a lot better about myself than telling me I look handsome with bed-head, an unkempt beard, and dusty wrinkled clothing.
Tho quote the best compliment ever given and I believe everyone secretly wants to hear:
>Jessica Rabbit:
>
>Oh, Roger. You were magnificent.
>
>Roger Rabbit:
>
>Was I really?
>
>Jessica Rabbit:
>
>Better than Goofy.
But like you said youāre not participating in trying to look good so of course you donāt care. If you did put effort into your looks the compliment would matter. Not saying looks are everything by any means, but they also arenāt nothing. At the end of the day 99% of people will make an assumption of you if you have unkept hair and wrinkles in your clothes. Not saying itās right but thatās just how it is.
Well, people aren't oikeky to tell you you look handsome with bed-head, an unkempt beard, and dusty wrinkled clothing.
Change your comment to "I don't like it when people compliment it on my work, as I'm really lazy. I'd rather they complimented me on my appearance, which I put tons of effort in", and you'll see how little sense it makes.
I know how you feel. I have sacrificed everything for my career in sports, both my mental and physical health and not once have I ever heard anyone other than my parents and my coach say: āYou did good, Iām proud of youā.
All my self esteem issues would go away if I just heard this one simple sentence every once in a while
This is key complimenting-advice. A generic āyou look goodā is empty air. Always compliment something the person has put effort into.
āI like you shirtā is the baseline here. Hair is often a good bet. Jewelry is often acceptable as well.
āYou look fantasticā is only viable if they put a significant effort into makeup and outfit for a total package compliment.
The bottom line: if I didnāt put effort in, I donāt care about it being complimented. If I worked hard on it, I want it to be appreciated. Same for everyone
The best compliments are on things that you work towards. I've put a bit of work into my appearance over the years, so when people compliment my appearance or clothing I'm pretty happy, but my favorite compliments have been on my Japanese. I've put in going on 5 years into it now, and I was finally able to do a semester in Japan last fall. I'm still a ways from fluent, but I've put a lot of work in, and I got a lot of compliments that I had impeccable pronunciation and spoke Japanese better than any of the other international students, and those compliments honestly hit so much harder because of the work that I put in to earn them. When you get results for your work those compliments are so amazing to get
It took me forever to appreciate compliments. I grew up in a family that was always negative, pulling people down etc... Never a single compliment.
So when I was a teenager and started to meet people and develop relationships, every time someone would pay me a compliment I always assume they were bullshitting me and it would drive me away. It took me way too long to realize that no, some people are nice and they like giving compliments and they mean it. Ruined way too many potential relationships because of that.
We're not talking about a dude in his 80s, in this story, in the relevant comment, it's more likely a guy in his later 50s-60s.
Definitely still strong enough.
Pretty crazy how many guys don't get this. I've literally been picked up and thrown by guys. I've been pinned. I've been held in a bathroom stall. I've had much worse things happen. There's zero chance of winning if they are my size or bigger.
That's why women smile and pray they can sneak away.
Boys don't get the perspective difference.
i think a lot of guys get this, but they have no clue what to do about it either. the only thing that could help is using deadly force in a surprise attack and that's not an option for most women.
so what i wanted to say is you'll only hear from the subset of guys who don't get it š
> Pretty crazy how many guys don't get this.
I think so many guys don't get this because they don't pick up and throw women, pin them, or trap them in bathroom stalls. The thought doesn't even cross their mind because that is crazy behavior, not guy behavior.
I understand and respect the fact that you feel the need to stay on your toes. But I can't fathom the mindset "I'm gonna compliment her... then if she doesn't tell me to screw off I'm prob gonna pick her up and yeet her."
>I think so many guys don't get this because they don't pick up and throw women, pin them, or trap them in bathroom stalls. The thought doesn't even cross their mind because that is crazy behavior, not guy behavior.
I think it's not just that. You can have experience with stuff like pinning, picking up and throwing women without being a shitbag.
Though, when you're doing it for fun/play it's different because you're just having fun and don't want to hurt anyone, and there's often no good way of telling how much the other person is holding back or not. That means a guy can completely physically dominate a woman and still not realize this is an accurate demonstration of the power difference between them because he thinks she's holding back like he is but in reality she's giving it all she's got and just isn't also trying to kick him in the nuts, scratch him, etc. that would be going on in an actual fight.
I've play wrestled with women before and I've also had discussions with some of them about our strength differences and it was definitely a shock the first time someone told me they weren't holding back while I was playfully and casually pinning them and reversing whatever kind of grab or hold they were trying to put on me. I'm not some giant ripped dude either, a little tall but otherwise pretty average and not trained in wrestling or anything.
Not true. Some people get angry first, and only get weak after the adrenaline wears off.
Iāve been kicked in the nuts a couple times, and I always fought harder for several seconds before the pain really set in.
And I've seen an 82 yr old man who was showing how to work pick up a 60cm x60cm x8cm Concrete plate with one hand, not even struggling. So old man strength is true, at least for some
You know, there is a difference to "Hey, I want your day to be a little brigher" compliments and "Hey, I want to be in your pants" compliments.
"Oh my God! Your pants have so many pockets. It looks so damn practical!" Technically covers both.
If I had a million dollars for the number of times a girl has complimented my pants only for me to take them off and see her put on a second pair of pants.
I'd be broke.
Yea fuck those bastards that ruin it for everyone. I just want to live in a world where everyone says nice things to each other without creeps fucking it up
It's meant as a subversion of when women hear these things all the time. The joke is guys would probably still be happy to get even these slightly condescending compliments.
The uncomfortable aspect of it is that it isn't just one-off things, it's a general trend of people flirting with (and/or sexually harassing) you in contexts they shouldn't. Sometimes people just want to do their jobs. It becomes especially uncomfortable if the flirter is, say, your boss at work, because reacting negatively could end badly for you.
A good metaphor I've heard for men's vs women's experiences with compliments and sexual/romantic attention is being stuck in a desert vs drowning. Someone who's only known one side of this might find it hard to fully get the other.
That was the one that really struck me as a "huh?" moment. Like the others I understand the subversion, but that one just seems like a somewhat pleasant greeting. Maybe my brain is truly just melted from a lack of compliments.
You jest, but for men, it's completely accurate.
I remember a random compliment I got about my jacket from a girl working at the mall almost twenty years ago. I was ecstatic for a solid week.
Society is almost completely devoid of positive reinforcement for men and boys, to a point of atomization and alienation. It's a real problem for men's mental health.
EDIT: Two quick points that I should have made to begin with:
- I agree that these are weak and/or backhanded compliments, and I would still take them, not because I'm stupid but because humans crave validation and I'm in the half that rarely receives it
- I am not speaking to the experience of women, because I am not a woman, and would rather shut up and let women do that. Nobody needs a guy to explain how this is different for women.
There was a thread sometimes back about a girl who complained to her boyfriend about being wolf whistled while running, and he didn't understand the problem. So she had a group of her friend wolf whistle him during one of his runs. The guy came back beaming and she never told him what she did because of how much of a confidence boost he got out of it.
It's truly a difference in frequency and intent of the compliments an average man receives vs the average woman.
Oh yeah, nothing against honest compliments. But just telling someone to smile more or saying they're too pretty for a job isn't something I'd see as compliment. Especially the latter, even though there's the "you're pretty" in it, it's also kinda degrading that job.
Apparently it's a play on reversed genders anyways, just another caption.
The weird thing is those "Compliments" are considered unwanted by women.
But no one brings it up I'm confused.
The " you should smile more" it's a dead giveaway.
We donāt want them. Donāt hit on people who are just trying to earn their paycheck. Donāt tell women to smile so they look pretty and pleasant for you when they have their own reason for not smiling. Donāt assume we canāt fix our own computers or cars or dryers or whatever.
The messenger matters, a lot. We are also accustomed to being harassed and screamed at when we donāt respond positively to such compliments.
Its some lonely neckbeards' fantasy of having women compliment him all day.
I remember seeing it on r/wholesomememes and commenting how its not really that wholesome. Pretty soon I got all these weirdos coming out of the woodwork trying to convince me that the drawing of a busty woman telling him he's smart wasn't just a male fantasy.
Wait Im pretty this was originally a comic made by a feminist trying to show that when men give women compliments like this theyāre not actually things to be happy about. The original didnāt have attractive women though. Either way it kinda didnāt deliver the intended message because most men that saw it said they would still like to receive the compliments.
I think the real moral of the story is that most people do like compliments, so long as people don't expect anything(including attention) in return, and don't feel objectified.
We like compliments for things we can control, and particularly things that takes a bit of effort.
It's much easier to compliment a man's shirt if it has a pattern of tiny cactuses then if he dresses like everyone.
Nah any compliment will do. Having a girl tell you you are attractive is a really good feeling
Edit: I'll even take compliments from other guys. Only time someone ever bought me a drink was a gay bartender.. and it made me feel great. I was dancing with a girl, went to get drinks for the crew, bartender said its on him (hell ya), said I was in town for my cousins wedding, he pointed to the girl and asked if that was my cousin, I said that's my wife... he immediately looked disappointed. I felt kinda bad after that tho. I was at a gay bar in San Francisco (we couldn't find anythign else) and I have some sick dance moves.. so I can see why he thought I was gay. Personally, its nice to be hit on as a guy because its a very rare thing. Girls get hit on constantly so I can see why its annoying.
This is by far a female perspective. I love giving out compliments to anyone and everyone, so I've had a lot of discussions with folks about compliments. Women want to be complimented in certain ways to appreciate it. I believe it comes from two factors, volume and risk potential. Volume being the much higher on average number of compliments women tend to receive when compared to men. Risk potential being what the cursed comment is about.
Women want to be complimented on their choices and skills. The stuff they worked hard at but not the stuff behind the curtain like makeup. That's jewelry arrangement, fashion, including or using a new bag, a new (to you) hairstyle, etc.
Men prefer compliments they believe are true. I believe this is because men receive compliments mainly when they are being coerced (or maybe that's when we take note of them). (It's really interesting actually if you compare the way women react to compliments with an obvious ulterior motive to the way men react to most compliments. It's incredibly similiar) that's things like skills they have built generally but also they will accept compliments on their choices.
I hope this helps even a little
I think there are two main reasons for it. First is that men in general are more compliment starved compared to women. Most of the compliments I've gotten, outside of family, are work related. So when we do get complimented it feels good.
The other, and possibly bigger, reason is that there's much less inherent fear. Most guys aren't worried about getting harassed or assaulted by women. Not saying it doesn't happen, but it's rare enough that it's not a day-to-day concern. The lack of fear means there's going to be very little perceived threat in these instances, and thus we would be less opposed to it.
It's risky to give a guy complements, as it WILL be taken as flirting if she is cute. As an older women it's fine.
LOTS of girls have gotten stalkers for basic kindness. After one or two I stopped in my late teens. And I wasn't even pretty.
> there's much less inherent fear.
This is the core to so much of the men vs women discourse. It all really comes down to the fact that, on average, men are stronger than women.
Bro she's old enough to remember Japanese concentration camps and you are saying there is some guy degenerate enough to rub one for her?
Not gonna lie, I'm not sure whether I should be impressed, scared or both.
What do you mean "would still like to receive"? Who's getting complimented? I'm still riding the wave from that one time ~10 years ago, when I overheard a girl saying to her friend that I have a nice ass.
> it kinda didnāt deliver the intended message because most men that saw it said they would still like to receive the compliments.
Like a camel turning the AC down to -10... for a polar bear. just live in different worlds with different definitions of "comfortable".
Double standards are rarely good, but stuff like this shows that the golden rule doesn't always work.
I'm missing so much context here, for the comic, that post, this post, the comment, I can't tell who the incels and who the normal people are.
Is... is there something wrong with compliments? Or was the comic supposed to be satirical?
What? That's not even remotely close to the point of the original comic, which was made by *a woman*. How the fuck do some of you manage to be so confident about being incorrect?
I dont understand why he thinks male fantasy isn't wholesome if it stops at the compliment. Or is he implying everyone just wants to be banged or something. Because both are true and trying to pin it on neckbeards is wild.
>Its some lonely neckbeards' fantasy of having women compliment him all day.
The author's intention was actually the complete opposite. It's meant to be a role reversal to show that "women get so many compliments" isn't a good thing. The problem is that their examples aren't heavy-handed enough so the point doesn't land.
I'd add that thos has been edited. The original comic had guys "complimenting" other guys, not whatever's going on with those weirdly sexualised women, and they were all the sorts of people who'd make these comments. Also, the computer one has the response of "...this is literally my job" and the receiver is less happy about receiving said "compliments. Also also, the first one isn't well intentioned, it's bloody cat calling. No one cat calls to give a genuine compliment
Being told you're too pretty to work as a cashier might be just awkard or even endearing when said by a grandma, but when it's said by like a sterotypically douchy gym bro who thinks he's hot shit, it's *way* more insulting
Now that you spelled it out it's obvious, but jfc I didn't notice. I first thought "oh that sounds nice, (about the last one) this is what one of the aunties would say". I also think the drawings don't convey sexual expectations and really just appear as nice gestures.
I don't mind the slightly ironic "oh you're so smart", I actually have that quite often in my relationship and ofc I know it's not serious, but it still feels nice to have at least someone acting impressed over mundane things.
The thing is that all of these ARE compliments, but have an added word or subcomment in them that completely flip the interpreted meaning. For example, the one "you look good!" would be nice as it is, but adding the "you should smile more" is a typical poke toward what women usually get every day and are sick of.
All these people want is to feel supported and valued. That's it. But because they see those traits as only something a woman can provide they blame women for their lives lacking positivity, instead of making themselves examples of it. Complement your male friends dickheads. Watch how spreading positivity yourself brings positivity towards you.
*Caution, just complimenting women while expecting physical gratitude and emotional attachment is not at all the same thing.
I've actually been seeing more and more of my male friends do this. It's quite encourgaing to see them compliment their looks, efforts, accomplishments. They dont get jelous about eachother either and are genuinley proud and supportive. Even encourgaing mental health help!
I got to say, I wasn't expecting to see it, but more and more men are waking up to the pusruit of inner joy and to support eachother, its beuatiful.
Itās also the safest way to breaking the āsome men take compliments as flirtingā cycle. By normalizing compliments in a non-romantic setting it makes people less likely to get creepy when they receive non-romantic compliments from the opposite sex.
Wow thatās actually a dope point. It allows for maybe the normalizing of human appreciation/affection outside of the romantic context again. (In a healthy way).
But to be honest. Iāve seen a lot of guys be ābromanticā with each other. Even in front of peers. Like a lot of bromance haha. Growing up it was more profuse but I still see adult guy friends do it time to time.
Thanks. More men need to read this and apply it. Be a nice guy and give each other compliments . Bring each other up. Validate yourself . Make others feel sale and comfortable around u.
My rule of thumb when complimenting someone, stay away from anything physical. I work on complimenting their clothes (not in a creepy way), their work ethic, their personality.
Aside from the computer fixing one that comes across condescending(pretty sure it was intended to) Iād be fine with the rest of them. Would brighten up my day.
I'm a technically illiterate moron. If I managed to fix my own computer I'd expect compliments from every human being on Earth and a Mensa membership card
I'm a man. I've worked multiple retail and food service jobs, and I've been told to smile more multiple times by men and women. It sucks. It never comes from a place of concern. They don't actually care about the state of my mood. They just don't want to acknowledge that I may not be stoked to be in their presence. Telling someone to smile more rarely comes from a place other than selfishly wanting your own surroundings to be more pleasant despite what may actually be in the surroundings. God forbid I have a neutral expression and they realize I'm not elated to be in their presence.
> I'm a man. I've worked multiple retail and food service jobs, and I've been told to smile more multiple times by men and women. It sucks.
It depends on when they tell you. If they say it right after you smile, it means they think its nice. If they say it while you're being a grumpy gus, it's not a compliment.
It was, in the original the guy responds with "Its literally my job".
That said if any of my partners said that to me I'd definitely be assuming they were starting a good boy scene.
This is all.stuff that women get sick of hearing from men because it's condescending and gross to be reduced to nothing more than a pretty face or your gender.
This is some nice guy fantasy where they're implying that it's not condescending, it's actually genuine compliments and if the "genders were reversed" (because people love that shit right now) men would be happy, so in turn women should be happy.
In reality though having a group of men scream that you have nice tits or being told that your mouth would look good on their dick doesn't make you feel good. And being told to smile makes you want to cut someone. A random older man told me to smile after I had just visited my dying mother in intensive care once. I fucking hate that one the most.
I know this entire comic is dumb but I just wanna say that ive literally never been more uncomfortable then when someone tries to flirt while I'm at work. Especially as a cashier where youre stuck in a tiny metal box that you can't just leave from.
Absolutely never under any circumstances should you put someone in that position, i don't care how much you think you vibe with that person, don't just start flirting with someone in a situation where its impossible for them to get away from you or easily turn you down without causing a scene.
Be better than that
If you see this comment, I dare you to build up your confidence enough to compliment the cashiers smile next time you go shopping, just a small āyou have a pretty smileā then walk out, can make someoneās day. The act of walking out without grabbing their name or asking for socials projects genuineness, as it wasnāt meant as a way to try and āpick them upā, itās just a pure compliment since you arenāt expecting anything in return.
The third one is lowkey shade. Actually, they all kind of can be. At least, this is literally a type of insult some women, and men I guess, use. Dishonest compliments. "Wow, you are actually smart enough to do insert task" --> implies you give off the impression of being dumb.
I'm confused as to why this was originally a "whitepeopleTwitter" post
But I do want to emphasize to any women out there, yeah. We don't get compliments. I genuinely can't remember the last time I've gotten a compliment. It feels amazing on the occasion that I do, but it's rare.
I get the sentiment and even after an artist changed the art style to make the comments come from a "caricature" they make many people uncomfortable
But id be lying thru my teeth if I said I wouldn't enjoy getting these types of comments and I'd absolutely take them as compliments
The metaphor I like to use is that itās a conversation between a person dying of dehydration and a person drowning. Neither one can really understand why the other would want more/less water without first taking a step back.
The old ladies say that to me from time to time. I don't believe them, and also I'm mad because apparently only old people find me attractiveš
My man get on that GILF game
 If only I was into that shit
You should knock it so you can have tried it.
That grandmussy
Thats a word I didn't need to know existed
What a terrible day to be literate.
Grand-musty
He said something that everyone and no one was thinking.
Go land yourself a sugar momma.
More like a sugar granny
Werthers granny
I highly doubt it is only old people. It's not like there is a massive difference in beauty standards for men in the past 100 years. An attractive guy from 1923 is still most likely attractive in 2023. If it's happening a decent amount, most likely you are attractive to the majority of the population, but old people are the only ones with the courage to just outright tell you.
Exactly. Well, not courage, old people just don't give a fuck and say whatever is on their mind - nice or offensive. They just... roll. Same with driving, a blissful experience really.
Worst that can happen, he thinks I'm a creepy old gran, best that can happen .... well, I'm willing to roll those dice.
That's the right attitude!!
This, an old woman doesn't have to worry about you 'making advances' she's 80.
Or their eyesigth is damaged and they can see how hieous the person is. Or they are just polite
Old ladies will fuck your brains out like you wouldn't believe, they've got the experience and the articificial joints to do it.
> articificial joints If you can get over the metal-on-metal scraping sounds, that is.
I can't even hear metal scraping without getting an erection these days
I regret reading this thread
Here ya go 
Thanks, kind stranger.
A little WD-40 and that goes away
Most of them can take their teeth out too
Extra CURSED
youāre fucked
Had a lady grab me, pull me close, and start kissing my neck. She was my landlord so when she stopped i just awkwardly left.
Wtf that's flat out assault
Old ladies are the biggest players I swear lmao. This woman would come in all the time and be like āthereās my boyfriendā callin me honey and winkin at me and shit
Beautiful name to match ur beautiful comment
Older ladies no longer have a filter, and aren't worried about being sexually harassed in return, and so will supply compliments.
They're no longer afraid of you taking it as a request to fuck them.
It's because they are more likely to have cataracts
Nice cock, homie
Thanks bro, your ass pussy is lookin fine as hell
Funny you should say that, pal, i happened to have some oil here
Wow you two should get togther someday lol
Why, that sounds delightful, you should join us
r/suddenlygay
It isn't gay if it is with the homies
It is not gay if it is in Zimbabwe
Oil you say??? Sounds like you need liberating šŗš²šŗš²šŗš²šŗš²
Oh yes, you should most definetely come here as fast as possible with that big girthy throbbing gun of yours
>your ass pussy is lookin fine as hell It's called "bussy" my dear friend, I would recommend to only use the appropriate terminology for such important aspects of life.
mmmm lemme smell that man pussy š
Hey, Iām not suicidal anymore!
I like your cock, g *Doorstop oscillation noise*
Nice balls bro *metal pipe noise*
Cool taint, bruv *minecraft nether portal noise*
Yeah, I was thinking how this is a wholesome idea until grandma starts verbally fantasizing about the cashier's cock and starts following him home after work.
Ya'll like being complimented? I just like getting thanked for stuff I did.
It's actually really nice if you find yourself in a culture that is comfortable with men complementing men... I felt a bit awkward at first, but then I embraced it.
Nice cock bro.
You misunderstand. To me, my looks are the last thing I want people focusing on. I don't put any effort into them, so I couldn't care less what people think of them. A compliment for looks just feels like a participation trophy for me. My work on the otherhand, that's something I did put my blood, sweat, and tears into and it feels really good when people are satisfied with what I do. Even if all I get from it is a simple thank you, it makes me feel a lot better about myself than telling me I look handsome with bed-head, an unkempt beard, and dusty wrinkled clothing.
You can compliment lots more than looks...
Tho quote the best compliment ever given and I believe everyone secretly wants to hear: >Jessica Rabbit: > >Oh, Roger. You were magnificent. > >Roger Rabbit: > >Was I really? > >Jessica Rabbit: > >Better than Goofy.
One of the compliments in the comic is literally "you're so smart"
But like you said youāre not participating in trying to look good so of course you donāt care. If you did put effort into your looks the compliment would matter. Not saying looks are everything by any means, but they also arenāt nothing. At the end of the day 99% of people will make an assumption of you if you have unkept hair and wrinkles in your clothes. Not saying itās right but thatās just how it is.
Well, people aren't oikeky to tell you you look handsome with bed-head, an unkempt beard, and dusty wrinkled clothing. Change your comment to "I don't like it when people compliment it on my work, as I'm really lazy. I'd rather they complimented me on my appearance, which I put tons of effort in", and you'll see how little sense it makes.
I know how you feel. I have sacrificed everything for my career in sports, both my mental and physical health and not once have I ever heard anyone other than my parents and my coach say: āYou did good, Iām proud of youā. All my self esteem issues would go away if I just heard this one simple sentence every once in a while
Hey, you did good man. Iām proud of you. Sports are hard and I respect you for doing your best.
Why are you so proud of being unclean?
Yeah you look kinda homeless
This is key complimenting-advice. A generic āyou look goodā is empty air. Always compliment something the person has put effort into. āI like you shirtā is the baseline here. Hair is often a good bet. Jewelry is often acceptable as well. āYou look fantasticā is only viable if they put a significant effort into makeup and outfit for a total package compliment. The bottom line: if I didnāt put effort in, I donāt care about it being complimented. If I worked hard on it, I want it to be appreciated. Same for everyone
A girl at the gym last week asked me to help her because "your form is immaculate" and honestly that'll probably keep going for the year
Or 7
I mean "immaculate" is pretty high up there on compliments, so it must've been like watching an angel.
Thanks for leaving this comment
I didn't realize a lot of other people also preferred grattitude to flattery.
Gratitude is expected. Flattery is the extra
Right, I don't need hollow management memos. Just show me you're capable of being grateful.
Exactly!
The best compliments are on things that you work towards. I've put a bit of work into my appearance over the years, so when people compliment my appearance or clothing I'm pretty happy, but my favorite compliments have been on my Japanese. I've put in going on 5 years into it now, and I was finally able to do a semester in Japan last fall. I'm still a ways from fluent, but I've put a lot of work in, and I got a lot of compliments that I had impeccable pronunciation and spoke Japanese better than any of the other international students, and those compliments honestly hit so much harder because of the work that I put in to earn them. When you get results for your work those compliments are so amazing to get
It took me forever to appreciate compliments. I grew up in a family that was always negative, pulling people down etc... Never a single compliment. So when I was a teenager and started to meet people and develop relationships, every time someone would pay me a compliment I always assume they were bullshitting me and it would drive me away. It took me way too long to realize that no, some people are nice and they like giving compliments and they mean it. Ruined way too many potential relationships because of that.
If someone forces your hand onto their junk, it's time to perform a random grip test!
Except even an old man is probably stronger that the average woman, and heāll probably get violent
Depends how old. If he's got arthritis, he's about to get a new pain distracting him from it.
Idk about all that. I see old folks that look like they're being held together with pomade and candy canes
We're not talking about a dude in his 80s, in this story, in the relevant comment, it's more likely a guy in his later 50s-60s. Definitely still strong enough.
Pretty crazy how many guys don't get this. I've literally been picked up and thrown by guys. I've been pinned. I've been held in a bathroom stall. I've had much worse things happen. There's zero chance of winning if they are my size or bigger. That's why women smile and pray they can sneak away. Boys don't get the perspective difference.
i think a lot of guys get this, but they have no clue what to do about it either. the only thing that could help is using deadly force in a surprise attack and that's not an option for most women. so what i wanted to say is you'll only hear from the subset of guys who don't get it š
š. We've got ONE option boys, kill.
> Pretty crazy how many guys don't get this. I think so many guys don't get this because they don't pick up and throw women, pin them, or trap them in bathroom stalls. The thought doesn't even cross their mind because that is crazy behavior, not guy behavior. I understand and respect the fact that you feel the need to stay on your toes. But I can't fathom the mindset "I'm gonna compliment her... then if she doesn't tell me to screw off I'm prob gonna pick her up and yeet her."
>I think so many guys don't get this because they don't pick up and throw women, pin them, or trap them in bathroom stalls. The thought doesn't even cross their mind because that is crazy behavior, not guy behavior. I think it's not just that. You can have experience with stuff like pinning, picking up and throwing women without being a shitbag. Though, when you're doing it for fun/play it's different because you're just having fun and don't want to hurt anyone, and there's often no good way of telling how much the other person is holding back or not. That means a guy can completely physically dominate a woman and still not realize this is an accurate demonstration of the power difference between them because he thinks she's holding back like he is but in reality she's giving it all she's got and just isn't also trying to kick him in the nuts, scratch him, etc. that would be going on in an actual fight. I've play wrestled with women before and I've also had discussions with some of them about our strength differences and it was definitely a shock the first time someone told me they weren't holding back while I was playfully and casually pinning them and reversing whatever kind of grab or hold they were trying to put on me. I'm not some giant ripped dude either, a little tall but otherwise pretty average and not trained in wrestling or anything.
everyone is weak after being hit in the nuts
Jokes on you I'm into that shit
Not true. Some people get angry first, and only get weak after the adrenaline wears off. Iāve been kicked in the nuts a couple times, and I always fought harder for several seconds before the pain really set in.
Then teach the old man the meaning of violence.
bro have you seen some old people? some of them are basically skeletons
And I've seen an 82 yr old man who was showing how to work pick up a 60cm x60cm x8cm Concrete plate with one hand, not even struggling. So old man strength is true, at least for some
I used to be a CNA. Dementia and age do not necessarily mean someone is incapable of wailing the hell out of you. :/
Rip and tear until it's done...
You know, there is a difference to "Hey, I want your day to be a little brigher" compliments and "Hey, I want to be in your pants" compliments. "Oh my God! Your pants have so many pockets. It looks so damn practical!" Technically covers both.
If I had a million dollars for the number of times a girl has complimented my pants only for me to take them off and see her put on a second pair of pants. I'd be broke.
yes girls do compliment me more often when I wear cargo pants they must be jelous of all the pockets
This is why we can't have nice things...
Yea fuck those bastards that ruin it for everyone. I just want to live in a world where everyone says nice things to each other without creeps fucking it up
should have said: "Mine is bigger"
That would turn them on more, thats the reason why they secretly go to Thailand
Secretly?
Whats the @ of the lady in the green panel
Itās cuz of the bobs, isnāt it
Yes.
@thatonemcdonaldsmanagerfromtheanimecommercialsinjapan
* "you should smile more" * "you're look way too good to be a cashier" Ah yes, the kind of compliments people like to hear
Noooo don't be sad you're too sexyyyy
It's meant as a subversion of when women hear these things all the time. The joke is guys would probably still be happy to get even these slightly condescending compliments.
I would kill for a nice lady to say to me and my work buddies 'hello lovely gentlemen'. It sounds really nice.
The uncomfortable aspect of it is that it isn't just one-off things, it's a general trend of people flirting with (and/or sexually harassing) you in contexts they shouldn't. Sometimes people just want to do their jobs. It becomes especially uncomfortable if the flirter is, say, your boss at work, because reacting negatively could end badly for you. A good metaphor I've heard for men's vs women's experiences with compliments and sexual/romantic attention is being stuck in a desert vs drowning. Someone who's only known one side of this might find it hard to fully get the other.
That was the one that really struck me as a "huh?" moment. Like the others I understand the subversion, but that one just seems like a somewhat pleasant greeting. Maybe my brain is truly just melted from a lack of compliments.
Wow, yeah ur right, I would. Idk what that says about me but I wish I didn't have to settle for condescending complements
You're starved for compliments, i guess. Nice cock bro
If someone insinuated I looked nice and told me to my face Iād be thrilled. They could insult my job all day long, Iād be over the moon.
These aren't even slightly condescending towards men.
You jest, but for men, it's completely accurate. I remember a random compliment I got about my jacket from a girl working at the mall almost twenty years ago. I was ecstatic for a solid week. Society is almost completely devoid of positive reinforcement for men and boys, to a point of atomization and alienation. It's a real problem for men's mental health. EDIT: Two quick points that I should have made to begin with: - I agree that these are weak and/or backhanded compliments, and I would still take them, not because I'm stupid but because humans crave validation and I'm in the half that rarely receives it - I am not speaking to the experience of women, because I am not a woman, and would rather shut up and let women do that. Nobody needs a guy to explain how this is different for women.
I remember getting wolf whistled at by two girls from a car in college. Made my month.
There was a thread sometimes back about a girl who complained to her boyfriend about being wolf whistled while running, and he didn't understand the problem. So she had a group of her friend wolf whistle him during one of his runs. The guy came back beaming and she never told him what she did because of how much of a confidence boost he got out of it. It's truly a difference in frequency and intent of the compliments an average man receives vs the average woman.
Hey man, I appreciate you voicing your experience. Many others live the same way and it's nice seeing others that feel like I do :)
Oh yeah, nothing against honest compliments. But just telling someone to smile more or saying they're too pretty for a job isn't something I'd see as compliment. Especially the latter, even though there's the "you're pretty" in it, it's also kinda degrading that job. Apparently it's a play on reversed genders anyways, just another caption.
You're literally just repeating the point of the comic. Yes those things *aren't* compliments. That's the whole point.
A compliment on a jacket is different than having a man older and larger than you telling you that you need to smile for him
If I heard either of these from men or women, as long as they aren't literally a zombie, I'd feel like the GOAT for the rest of the day.
What in the unholy fuck is even that?
The weird thing is those "Compliments" are considered unwanted by women. But no one brings it up I'm confused. The " you should smile more" it's a dead giveaway.
We donāt want them. Donāt hit on people who are just trying to earn their paycheck. Donāt tell women to smile so they look pretty and pleasant for you when they have their own reason for not smiling. Donāt assume we canāt fix our own computers or cars or dryers or whatever. The messenger matters, a lot. We are also accustomed to being harassed and screamed at when we donāt respond positively to such compliments.
Its some lonely neckbeards' fantasy of having women compliment him all day. I remember seeing it on r/wholesomememes and commenting how its not really that wholesome. Pretty soon I got all these weirdos coming out of the woodwork trying to convince me that the drawing of a busty woman telling him he's smart wasn't just a male fantasy.
Wait Im pretty this was originally a comic made by a feminist trying to show that when men give women compliments like this theyāre not actually things to be happy about. The original didnāt have attractive women though. Either way it kinda didnāt deliver the intended message because most men that saw it said they would still like to receive the compliments.
I think the real moral of the story is that most people do like compliments, so long as people don't expect anything(including attention) in return, and don't feel objectified.
We like compliments for things we can control, and particularly things that takes a bit of effort. It's much easier to compliment a man's shirt if it has a pattern of tiny cactuses then if he dresses like everyone.
Nah any compliment will do. Having a girl tell you you are attractive is a really good feeling Edit: I'll even take compliments from other guys. Only time someone ever bought me a drink was a gay bartender.. and it made me feel great. I was dancing with a girl, went to get drinks for the crew, bartender said its on him (hell ya), said I was in town for my cousins wedding, he pointed to the girl and asked if that was my cousin, I said that's my wife... he immediately looked disappointed. I felt kinda bad after that tho. I was at a gay bar in San Francisco (we couldn't find anythign else) and I have some sick dance moves.. so I can see why he thought I was gay. Personally, its nice to be hit on as a guy because its a very rare thing. Girls get hit on constantly so I can see why its annoying.
This is by far a female perspective. I love giving out compliments to anyone and everyone, so I've had a lot of discussions with folks about compliments. Women want to be complimented in certain ways to appreciate it. I believe it comes from two factors, volume and risk potential. Volume being the much higher on average number of compliments women tend to receive when compared to men. Risk potential being what the cursed comment is about. Women want to be complimented on their choices and skills. The stuff they worked hard at but not the stuff behind the curtain like makeup. That's jewelry arrangement, fashion, including or using a new bag, a new (to you) hairstyle, etc. Men prefer compliments they believe are true. I believe this is because men receive compliments mainly when they are being coerced (or maybe that's when we take note of them). (It's really interesting actually if you compare the way women react to compliments with an obvious ulterior motive to the way men react to most compliments. It's incredibly similiar) that's things like skills they have built generally but also they will accept compliments on their choices. I hope this helps even a little
I think there are two main reasons for it. First is that men in general are more compliment starved compared to women. Most of the compliments I've gotten, outside of family, are work related. So when we do get complimented it feels good. The other, and possibly bigger, reason is that there's much less inherent fear. Most guys aren't worried about getting harassed or assaulted by women. Not saying it doesn't happen, but it's rare enough that it's not a day-to-day concern. The lack of fear means there's going to be very little perceived threat in these instances, and thus we would be less opposed to it.
It's risky to give a guy complements, as it WILL be taken as flirting if she is cute. As an older women it's fine. LOTS of girls have gotten stalkers for basic kindness. After one or two I stopped in my late teens. And I wasn't even pretty.
> there's much less inherent fear. This is the core to so much of the men vs women discourse. It all really comes down to the fact that, on average, men are stronger than women.
last lady doesn't look like the ideal attractive woman (for other people, not me)
Bro she's old enough to remember Japanese concentration camps and you are saying there is some guy degenerate enough to rub one for her? Not gonna lie, I'm not sure whether I should be impressed, scared or both.
So youāre underestimating me huh? Bold move
Dont threaten me with a good time
What do you mean "would still like to receive"? Who's getting complimented? I'm still riding the wave from that one time ~10 years ago, when I overheard a girl saying to her friend that I have a nice ass.
A girl i liked called me beautiful when we were in high school and i still think about it 8 years later
> it kinda didnāt deliver the intended message because most men that saw it said they would still like to receive the compliments. Like a camel turning the AC down to -10... for a polar bear. just live in different worlds with different definitions of "comfortable". Double standards are rarely good, but stuff like this shows that the golden rule doesn't always work.
Ah,yes only neckbeards like to be complimented.
I'm missing so much context here, for the comic, that post, this post, the comment, I can't tell who the incels and who the normal people are. Is... is there something wrong with compliments? Or was the comic supposed to be satirical?
What? That's not even remotely close to the point of the original comic, which was made by *a woman*. How the fuck do some of you manage to be so confident about being incorrect?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, only sexual deviants want to be complimented.
I dont understand why he thinks male fantasy isn't wholesome if it stops at the compliment. Or is he implying everyone just wants to be banged or something. Because both are true and trying to pin it on neckbeards is wild.
It's like calling a dude who complains about his gf an incel.
>Its some lonely neckbeards' fantasy of having women compliment him all day. The author's intention was actually the complete opposite. It's meant to be a role reversal to show that "women get so many compliments" isn't a good thing. The problem is that their examples aren't heavy-handed enough so the point doesn't land.
Ridicule men for talking about their hardships, then complain when they are emotionally distant.
Only takes one lad to ruin it for all of us...
Buddy we fucking WISH it was ājust oneā but there are literally millions of ājust oneā
Remember fellow bros, aināt nothing wrong with giving other bros compliments, letās normalize it
Normalize complimenting the homies.
Everytime Iāve complimented a man irl theyāve been weird about it so Iām good
For people not understanding the comic: It is taken out of water and put with this title and the original comic is most likely to see how reversing gender of the people in the comic changes how you interpret the interaction. They use "compliments" that women find really petty and condescending. It's kinda clear as it is often in professional settings where women often (but would not like to) gets comments about their looks. Whereas the one about "smile more" and the one regarding the computer are just plain petty and restricting of not being able to not smile and playing on the old clichƩ that women can't fix tech without a mans help. Most likely it is to prove that the comments are universally condescending independent on gender, but since guys usually are starving for any compliment, it backfired somewhat. Edit: The cause perhaps is good, and it's nice and well that people think that we should give each other compliments more. But if this comic is used for this purpose, you will be the laughing stock of all women for the foreseeable future. Edit 2: apparently this blew up more than I thought. A lot of people here seem to still live in a very masculine fantasy world. I will just say: good luck.
I'd add that thos has been edited. The original comic had guys "complimenting" other guys, not whatever's going on with those weirdly sexualised women, and they were all the sorts of people who'd make these comments. Also, the computer one has the response of "...this is literally my job" and the receiver is less happy about receiving said "compliments. Also also, the first one isn't well intentioned, it's bloody cat calling. No one cat calls to give a genuine compliment Being told you're too pretty to work as a cashier might be just awkard or even endearing when said by a grandma, but when it's said by like a sterotypically douchy gym bro who thinks he's hot shit, it's *way* more insulting
Now that you spelled it out it's obvious, but jfc I didn't notice. I first thought "oh that sounds nice, (about the last one) this is what one of the aunties would say". I also think the drawings don't convey sexual expectations and really just appear as nice gestures. I don't mind the slightly ironic "oh you're so smart", I actually have that quite often in my relationship and ofc I know it's not serious, but it still feels nice to have at least someone acting impressed over mundane things.
The thing is that all of these ARE compliments, but have an added word or subcomment in them that completely flip the interpreted meaning. For example, the one "you look good!" would be nice as it is, but adding the "you should smile more" is a typical poke toward what women usually get every day and are sick of.
Makes sense. Especially the everyday part, it gets old after hearing it just once.
All these people want is to feel supported and valued. That's it. But because they see those traits as only something a woman can provide they blame women for their lives lacking positivity, instead of making themselves examples of it. Complement your male friends dickheads. Watch how spreading positivity yourself brings positivity towards you. *Caution, just complimenting women while expecting physical gratitude and emotional attachment is not at all the same thing.
I've actually been seeing more and more of my male friends do this. It's quite encourgaing to see them compliment their looks, efforts, accomplishments. They dont get jelous about eachother either and are genuinley proud and supportive. Even encourgaing mental health help! I got to say, I wasn't expecting to see it, but more and more men are waking up to the pusruit of inner joy and to support eachother, its beuatiful.
Itās also the safest way to breaking the āsome men take compliments as flirtingā cycle. By normalizing compliments in a non-romantic setting it makes people less likely to get creepy when they receive non-romantic compliments from the opposite sex.
Wow thatās actually a dope point. It allows for maybe the normalizing of human appreciation/affection outside of the romantic context again. (In a healthy way). But to be honest. Iāve seen a lot of guys be ābromanticā with each other. Even in front of peers. Like a lot of bromance haha. Growing up it was more profuse but I still see adult guy friends do it time to time.
Thanks. More men need to read this and apply it. Be a nice guy and give each other compliments . Bring each other up. Validate yourself . Make others feel sale and comfortable around u.
My rule of thumb when complimenting someone, stay away from anything physical. I work on complimenting their clothes (not in a creepy way), their work ethic, their personality.
Aside from the computer fixing one that comes across condescending(pretty sure it was intended to) Iād be fine with the rest of them. Would brighten up my day.
I'm a technically illiterate moron. If I managed to fix my own computer I'd expect compliments from every human being on Earth and a Mensa membership card
Do you mean technologically illiterate?
Apparently i'm illiterate in both ways
I'm a man. I've worked multiple retail and food service jobs, and I've been told to smile more multiple times by men and women. It sucks. It never comes from a place of concern. They don't actually care about the state of my mood. They just don't want to acknowledge that I may not be stoked to be in their presence. Telling someone to smile more rarely comes from a place other than selfishly wanting your own surroundings to be more pleasant despite what may actually be in the surroundings. God forbid I have a neutral expression and they realize I'm not elated to be in their presence.
> I'm a man. I've worked multiple retail and food service jobs, and I've been told to smile more multiple times by men and women. It sucks. It depends on when they tell you. If they say it right after you smile, it means they think its nice. If they say it while you're being a grumpy gus, it's not a compliment.
That's the joke, it's stuff people say to women that annoys them because it's condesending
Hell, even that one is just the perfect amount of condescending to still be a nice compliment.
It was, in the original the guy responds with "Its literally my job". That said if any of my partners said that to me I'd definitely be assuming they were starting a good boy scene.
This is all.stuff that women get sick of hearing from men because it's condescending and gross to be reduced to nothing more than a pretty face or your gender. This is some nice guy fantasy where they're implying that it's not condescending, it's actually genuine compliments and if the "genders were reversed" (because people love that shit right now) men would be happy, so in turn women should be happy. In reality though having a group of men scream that you have nice tits or being told that your mouth would look good on their dick doesn't make you feel good. And being told to smile makes you want to cut someone. A random older man told me to smile after I had just visited my dying mother in intensive care once. I fucking hate that one the most.
I ordered a hooker once, she said I was too pretty to pay for sex BITCH, clearly the fuck not
Celebs hire hookers too. "I don't pay them for the sex, I pay them to go away afterwards'.
We live in a cursed world
If only people could be parents instead suckers with jobs
Now do one where itās a couple hundred times a day and all of the women are physically unappealing.
Yikes
I know this entire comic is dumb but I just wanna say that ive literally never been more uncomfortable then when someone tries to flirt while I'm at work. Especially as a cashier where youre stuck in a tiny metal box that you can't just leave from. Absolutely never under any circumstances should you put someone in that position, i don't care how much you think you vibe with that person, don't just start flirting with someone in a situation where its impossible for them to get away from you or easily turn you down without causing a scene. Be better than that
Weirdest part about being trans is that i get catcalled now LMAO
Yeah that shits problematic men rarely can distinguish between affection and appreciation.
Abuse helped me to hate and feel disgusted when people tried to touch me. I can deal with giving "props" but a hand shake is so incredibly annoying.
If you see this comment, I dare you to build up your confidence enough to compliment the cashiers smile next time you go shopping, just a small āyou have a pretty smileā then walk out, can make someoneās day. The act of walking out without grabbing their name or asking for socials projects genuineness, as it wasnāt meant as a way to try and āpick them upā, itās just a pure compliment since you arenāt expecting anything in return.
The third one is lowkey shade. Actually, they all kind of can be. At least, this is literally a type of insult some women, and men I guess, use. Dishonest compliments. "Wow, you are actually smart enough to do insert task" --> implies you give off the impression of being dumb.
Until I met my wife, the only woman who ever gave me a compliment was my former roommate and she was a butch lesbian.
"you're dick is so huge you should show it out more"
Bro you have a nice cock
I'm confused as to why this was originally a "whitepeopleTwitter" post But I do want to emphasize to any women out there, yeah. We don't get compliments. I genuinely can't remember the last time I've gotten a compliment. It feels amazing on the occasion that I do, but it's rare.
This isn't cursed comments. This is an unfortunate fact of the world we live in today.
I get the sentiment and even after an artist changed the art style to make the comments come from a "caricature" they make many people uncomfortable But id be lying thru my teeth if I said I wouldn't enjoy getting these types of comments and I'd absolutely take them as compliments
The metaphor I like to use is that itās a conversation between a person dying of dehydration and a person drowning. Neither one can really understand why the other would want more/less water without first taking a step back.