Good morning, BoLA beach babes - we start today on a low note. This thread is now locked because some folks decided it was appropriate to follow the LAOP around to other subreddits. (reddit calls this brigading) Bans will be handed out accordingly. We have a zero tolerance policy for brigading, as does reddit itself. It's just like, not cool man. Usually my comment locks are funny (to me), but alas, I don't have much to work with here and I haven't finished my bagel yet. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. <3


LAOP thinks quiet hours starting at 6pm is reasonable? I doubt anything would actually make them happy


I loved how later LAOP mentions Boston’s noise ordinance, which covers the hours of 11pm to 7am, to support their desire. Yet anything later than 8pm is unacceptable apparently for them.


Their bed time is 8pm, everyone must respect that!


My bedtime is 8pm because I get up at 4am. My neighbors have kids who play in their backyard till dark in the summer (past 8pm) and shriek and laugh loudly, as kids are wont to do. Despite this, I do not file noise complaints because I understand that 1) my bedtime is earlier than reasonable to expect quiet 2) the actual volume isn't terribly high 3) I'd rather that kids be outside playing and being physically active than stuck to their magic devices.


What's with this Being Reasonable? You should totally exercise your God-Given Right to summon a SWAT team to subdue these hellions terrorizing your neighborhood! Everybody knows Civil Rights are only for old grumpy white people!


I mean, I did once file a noise complaint on a neighbor with a barking dog but it was a situation where the dog was literally outside 24/7 and barked every 5-10 seconds. It wouldn’t stop for more than an hour a few times a day. Animal control came out to listen and it turned out it (and another dog) were living in a small chain link run with a concrete floor, weren’t up to date on their rabies vaccines, and literally were never brought inside. The owner said that if they had to bring them in they’d live in the basement. I hate people.


Why do people even get dogs if they're just going to ignore them this way?


I’ll never understand people who have dogs but don’t seem to want them.


Same here!! I'm in bed by 9 to be up around 5, or I'm sleeping in until 10 or 11 if I'm on the other shift...I wear earplugs for noise, and a sleep mask for the light...what's OP going to do next? Complain about how the sun shines in their windows when they go to bed at 8?


I once woke up at 3am to the neighbor kid (teenager) outside, angrily playing basketball. Then I heard the neighbor kid's mother say WHAT ARE YOU DOING and then all was silent again. It was so quick and so weird I was left wondering if it had even really happened. Also, i did not call the police. It was just baffling. It wasn't even that loud, just the very distinctive basketball bouncing noise, but VERY FORCEFULLY.


Same here. I use blindfolds and have a fan and tv on in my bedroom to sleep. It sucks but I choose to work a job that requires me to wake up at 4am. It’s summer time if I were a kid I’d prefer to be out there having fun too.


I live in a Boston Suburb... wouldn't think of calling the cops on noisy neighbors until at least 11, and even then I would just start thinking about doing it. 6pm? my kids are still in the yard throwing things at each other and shrieking


6pm? Amateur numbers. There was a lady bitching in my community NextDoor about kids and dogs making noise outside at 5pm. She got roasted by pretty much everybody. It was the first time I've seen the whackjobs of NextDoor band together to tell a crazy Karen off.


I killed NextDoor after it kept insisting on continuing to forget my location settings, and decided I needed to know about every last stray puppy and Sketchy Person in some subdivision miles away.


I looked at Nextdoor but saw how liberal their "Who we're going to sell your information to" policy was and didn't bother


The whole "We need you to prove where you live" thing sketched me out on it.


same. it is useless if it does not recognize your neighborhood. Instead of "we can't find it" it just says "here is a random neighborhood in a different state- Enjoy!"


Oh, it recognizes my neighborhood just fine, it just keeps thinking I care about everything that happens in a 5 mile radius, which is a lot more people (and annoying Karens with nothing better to do) than you might think.


I’ve seen that kind of FU energy a couple of times on mine. One was “People have jobs!” responding to one who thought we should all have our garbage cans put up by midday after trash pickup, but the big pile on was the still unknown Chicken Narc. Keeping hens is of a gray kind of legality in my area, (probably like many areas.) “Livestock” is illegal, but “pet chickens” have been successfully defended. Somebody called animal control on three “pet chickens” who incidentally produced eggs that were shared generously. I happen to be on Team Chickens, but the Chicken Narc did have 2 or 3 defenders. Honestly, the hens were quieter than most small dogs. And they were good eggs.


I had a time where I seriously considered calling animal control on my neighbor's chickens. They're perfectly legal to have in my city, but my neighbors did nothing to keep them in their yard and so they kept hopping the fence and destroying the plants in my backyard. I never did, though, because I kept thinking "do I really want to be *that person*?" Situation eventually resolved itself when one of the hens got killed - neighbors went on a rampage accusing other neighbors of letting dogs into their yard, only to eventually find out it was one of *their own dogs* when they caught it trying to kill another hen. After that they built a nice little fenced in area of their yard for their chickens and they're no longer a problem for my plants.


What’s unreasonable about getting home from work and being required to sit in silence? They can make all the noise they want while the house is empty.


This is a good compromise. You should be a mediator.


Works from home and goes to bed at 8pm . . .


Let's pretend her employer is in a different time zone...


Fair point, but not her neighbors' problem


Shh, I'm pretending and you're giving me a migraine




That's maybe the one part I can believe. For certain roles work hours that are offset from traditional work hours can often be useful to both the employer and the employee and wfh doesn't require the physical location to be fully open/staffed. Been working from home for years before covid. Many of those years I'd start early (4-5 am) while another person in the same role started later (10-11 am). This meant there was an actual person logged in working their normal 8 hours for a much wider swath of the day so a lot of the work that needed to be done outside the hours of most staff (system upgrades, on-call emergencies, etc) didn't disrupt our lives nearly as much and let us get things like shopping/appointments done in hours that most people were at the office which was great. That said when I went to bed early I'd turn on a fan. The world keeps moving. Adapt.


Right? I'm a night person, so the rest of the world wakes up before I want to. So I sleep with a loud ass fan. 10/10 best sleep I ever had.


>I moved to the country >This driveway is very close to my bedroom window in a neighborhood LAOP and I have wildly different understandings of 'the country.'


I'm guessing that by "the country" they mean "small rural town," which really isn't the same thing at all.


Hell I know plenty of people who called the suburbs I grew up in “the country” when it very much was not. I think a lot of people still have some idealized version of suburbia being rural in some way that simply does not exist in most places


There's a certain sort of outer-ring suburb resident who just *loves* to be "country", despite being absolutely nothing of the sort. Classic signs include: * A forced country drawl * At least one too many Ys in the spelling of their/their kids' names * Lots of high-end "toys", such as side-by-sides, boats, RVs, but all financed at extortionately high interest rates. * A pickup truck with piles of off-road modifications that never sees anything more than a gravel road (if even that). I'm not hating on country life here. I live in a rural town, and the actual country-dwellers who live around here are typically *considerably* nicer people to be around than these fake-country types.


Holy shit, these people drive me nuts. They talk about their proud farming or ranching "heritage" when they've never touched a cow in their life. Honestly, I didn't work so hard I couldn't scrub the dirt out of my calluses to share a heritage with these stupid fuckers. All of the accessories, none of the practicality.


I always found that part funny too. I worked part-time on a few different farms during summers in high school, but I still wouldn't consider myself to be a farmer or to have farming heritage. Even then, it's tons more experience than those country-LARPers have.


I think it particularly gets to me because they tend to be the people who talk about how lazy liberals are, but they've never worked so hard they've fallen asleep in the bathtub. They have office jobs that they half-ass or sales jobs where they talk about fishing most of the time. And it's not that those jobs can't be difficult, but it just doesn't compare to running a small farm.


As my grandad used to say, "all hat and no cattle".


I see you've met my neighbors.


> A pickup truck with piles of off-road modifications that never sees anything more than a gravel road (if even that). A while back I had a friend who had a *hilariously* beat-up pickup. The back gate was held on with ropes because he broke the lock when he accidentally hit it with a forklift while loading hay. It was a straight-up work farm truck. At gas stations, he'd always give the stink-eye to people driving pristine pickup trucks. He felt it was mistreating the truck; they're meant to be *used*, dammit.


I live close enough to San Francisco that "the country" is any of two dozen suburban cities, each with more than 100,000 population. Essentially, anyplace where you can still buy a shoebox with an address for under a million dollars.


*laughs in Redding*


And how is the surface of the sun today?


Only 94 so far! The high is 102- I’ll take it! I get to go home and go to sleep in an hour :)


Most rednecks I've met will try to help a broken down car, offer beer or weed to basically any service worker at their house, hates cops, praises anyone who served the country, and uses formal language to literally anyone older than them or who was nice to them one time, doesn't matter if it's a fast food worker or a random elderly woman in the store. Have a garden or hunt or something for food more than fun, and usually have a pretty good kinship to anyone struggling. Oh y'all ain't got food? Come over we're grilling tonight! Doesn't matter what color you are. Fake "country" folks are usually a pavement princess with a lifted truck that never touches dirt, have too many toys, are rude as fuck to service workers and act entitled everywhere they go, love cops, and probably have three or four mounts in their house despite not rending or even eating hunted meat because it's too "gamey". They're the type to make fun of a poor person and make fun of disabilities. Redneck will open their house to anyone, it might be a mess and they don't have much, but they're proud of their family and give when they got. "Country" will have a perfect house and the kids act like they're abused into being overtly polite for looks. Like, I'm neither. I'm pretty fucking urban compared to a lot of folks I know but I grew up with both sides of the rich and the not in the south, most of my friends don't even have neighbors for like five miles for instance. This is just what I've noticed and isn't an exact rule but it's pretty fair to say it's more often than not the case.


Here's another set of differences that I've noticed: country drivers tend to be quite considerate, albeit somewhat clueless when out of their environment (like on multi-lane highways). "Country" drivers are typically dangerously aggressive, dangerously incompetent, or both. I bike for fun a lot, often out on gravel farm roads. The vast majority of drivers out there are incredibly considerate, giving me plenty of room. I'll never bike in the suburbs, though. It's a recipe for disaster with the way that people (*especially* the pavement princesses) drive.


It could be similar to my situation where I'm on the outskirts suburb of a large city and I live in a planned neighborhood but the neighborhood was built in the middle of various farm fields. So, we have relatively close neighbors but views of the corn or soybean crops being grown (and half an hour drive or more to get to the big city). My neighborhood was built full of starter homes and mostly young families, so hearing kids play outside is a normal occurrence. Honestly, it sounds like LAOP needs to buy better windows. Cheap ones let sounds through (and don't help with temperature regulation), better ones will help the air inside not be as affected by outside temps and have the side bonus of also muffling the noise coming in. And depending on layout of the rooms in the house, they might want to swap what room does what too. And side note LAOP, most cities quiet hours start at 10 PM. 6 PM is nonsensical and stupid.


Almost everywhere near me quiet hours are 10 pm to 6 am (because at 6:01 we can technicallllllly start construction work, but we try to wait until 7 if possible).


My mind was blown when i discovered my city didn't have noise ordinances. I asked the lady on the phone, 'so i can jackhammer at 0100 if i wanted to??' i could hear her grimacing while she squeezed out a long yes, in a 'well technically' way lmao


If you want nosie ordinances, be the change you want to be; look up the mayor's address and rent a jackhammer or a straight-pipe motorcycle and set up shop outside his window at 1 AM. It'll probably be on the council agenda the next day. Unless you're a minority, then you might end up aggressively aerated by the police.


I prefer the term rapid onset acute lead poisoning.


I live outside city limits so we don’t have a noise ordinance, but the sheriff will still come out and ask people to be quiet if I call after 10 pm. I very rarely do, though (twice in seven years, and that’s because they were blasting music so loud it shook my bed at 4 am). I have misophonia (which causes intense reactions, including anger, to certain noise) and also get migraines. I bought ear plugs and I’m looking at noise cancelling headphones. I live in an apartment. I understand there will be noise (but I also think people in apartments need to be considerate of their neighbors and keep their volume at a reasonable level.)


I manage a small apartment building that has a small patio out front. The tenant that lived above the patio didn't like when people used it, because then he could hear them. Wanted me to ban people from using it, and I told him I wouldn't do that. However, if people were being excessively loud after 10pm, I would have no issues talking to them and having them quiet down. He wanted quiet time to start at 6pm because he liked to go to sleep at 7pm. Sorry bud, not telling people to be quiet at 6, especially since when people used the patio they were just sitting around talking.


I get of off work at 6PM. Used to work nightshifts as well. Got home at 6AM and you don't hear me complaining


Who are these people going to bed at 7-8 pm and expecting people to be silent after six?! I don't even get off work until just after six most days...Do these people expect everyone to just work all day and then trudge home to sit around silently for hours?


It definitely cuts both ways, too. I've had neighbours like that, and then they're up at the crack of dawn and mowing a lawn, and think it's 100% reasonable to do so at 5:30 in the morning.


In my area, it's not uncommon for a small number (2-6) of houses to be grouped relatively close together in what's otherwise the middle of nowhere. I'd still call it in the country since, other than a handful of nearby neighbors, it could still be a few dozen miles to the nearest village.


And we all still hate the Williams family for selling their farm to that developer. /s


I think that we all know what "the country" means to LAOP and that he'd go to great pains to deny it but his behavior 100% supports it, what with him trying to enact a de facto "no basketball after 6pm" ordinance and pearl clutching about racial slurs when we all know the context he's talking about.


If your closest neighbors aren't cows, you don't live in the country.


My closest neighbors are foxes.


"Hello, code enforcement? I'd like to make a noise complaint, my neighbors have been screaming all night…"


My friend actually lives out in the country just outside a small rural town. To get to her I have drive through said town. Inside the town the residential area is very much a regular neighborhood with houses close to each other no different than suburbia or even inner city houses. There's also plenty of HOA colony houses being built in the country that is separate from the town. Yes technically in the country but your neighbor's house is only feet away so it's not really what most people consider county living.


A friend of mine just moved to Jersey from the Bronx. She called the cops yesterday, because there were deer on her lawn. I wish I was making this up.🙄


Did she want the deer arrested? 😂


I think there are some home gardeners in my neighborhood who would be perfectly happy to see the local deer arrested. Also the rabbits.


What was she thinking the police would do?


> What was she thinking the police would do? She said afterwards that she felt silly. There are bears where she lives, but I haven't told her that yet.


Ah I get the freak out, if you've never been exposed to wild animals. At least once a year someone in my town calls the cops because they see a raccoon in daylight (normal raccoon doing raccoon things, but people freak out about rabies.)


I live on 10 acres and still hear my neighbors. They probably hear us, too. Weed eaters, dogs barking, kids playing… It’s just part of life.


If you can stand on your back step and have a conversation with your neighbors, you're not in the "country". Growing up, our noise complaint was the neighbors peacocks. At least two miles away, and the fuckers sound unearthly at sunset.


Yeah, "the country" is where your driveway is an unpaved quarter mile gash hewn through 300 year old trees.


Holy crap I took a look at her post history. She said she's 46 years old and wants to adopt a kid. She can't handle the noise of kids playing basketball but she wants to adopt a kid? And she goes to bed at 8pm? \*edit\* I went down the rabbit hole further and 2 months ago she said she's moving to a better home soon.


Not only can’t handle, if it actually gives them debilitating migraines I can’t imagine parenthood will be easier


My 8 year old is super well behaved. He listens well, doesn't have a mean bone in his body, and loves to make us happy. He's loud as fuck. There's no quiet in our house unless he's not home. And he's a great kid! When you adopt, kids can come with a lot of baggage and it takes a lot to work on that. LAOP needs a cat not a kid.


Given how a cat running around upstairs can sound like a full-grown lion bounding down the hallway, I think a goldfish would be more their speed, if they can mask the Thunderous Racket of the water filter.


My 5 year old weighs like 45 lbs, but she makes more noise walking around upstairs than a grown man.


I'm a grown man of several hundred pounds and I routinely sneak up on people. It's great. Nobody expects the dude that looks like Po from Kung Fu Panda to actually be stealthy.


I've got some foster kittens, they weigh all of 3lbs. It literally sounds like a herd of small ponies charging up and down the hallway when they are running around upstairs. I think a nice 12-15 year old cat that sleeps 22 hours a day could work, as long as it's not a tortie or a Siamese.


IDK Cats can be loud too even if they don't Yell. Not many people know that since LocationBot is broken and isn't giving Cat Facts


and panic attacks.


Not just any random child but specifically an "ukrainian war orphan" that also should be of certain age as she herself says "she can't deal with kids".


Right because a war orphan in an entirely new country that speaks a different language is a great choice for someone who can't listen to basketball.


Most Ukrainians learn English at school. Still don't give this woman any children to take care of, maybe start with a house plant.


> Most Ukrainians learn English at school. Did not know that. Thanks for teaching me something today.


I work in refugee services, and the last 6-8 months we've had a HUGE spike in people who are suddenly very concerned about Afghans or Ukrainians specifically (no other displacement crises have hit their radar apparently) and despite having no experience have a very specific idea of the way they are going to help. Sometimes when we tell them the actual ways we need help, they adjust and jump in, but other times they push back and start blaming us for all the problems with the resettlement system specifically and poverty in the USA generally as if them suddenly becoming aware of these issues makes it completely new information. She definitely seems like one of the people who creates problems rather than helping address them.


Reminds me of a former friend. She was a massive piece of work, but her pastor helped her adopt a needy brown child who I am sure is just counting down until they're of age to leave the nut house..


"I'm not racist, I have a brown child!"


Oh god, I used to provide home health care to kids in foster care or who have been adopted out of foster care. I worked with a white couple who adopted children who are black. The woman asked about how to fix the girl’s hair, so I suggested having a friend with similar hair come and show the mom and the little girl how to style it. The lady straight up said that almost all black people would be horrible role models for the kids. It was so fucked up, and by that time the adoption had already been confirmed.


oh, that's so sad. I almost downvoted because I hate that lady.


> I went down the rabbit hole further and 2 months ago she said she's moving to a better home soon. Well apparently not, otherwise what the hell is the point of trying to bring that family to the courts Actually, because OP is acting like... OP. I guess they could be moving but also seek to be proven right before they move out, a "its the principle of it!" scenario.


And “racial slurs?” I wonder if the kids are black and OP is not.


My assumption was that OP is white, the neighbor family is black, and the black neighbors say "n*gga" and that's what she means by "racial slurs". Bet. If the racial slurs were actual racial slurs I feel like she would've specified. And the neighours think they're being targetted because of their race. Sounds like OP is white and neighbours aren't.


Yup. Plus, white people calling the cops on Black kids just for being kids happens way too often


Racists gonna race.


Tbf I would lose my mind in OOPs position, and I now know it’s because I have ADHD. But prior to my diagnosis when I bought my house, I knew one feature had to be that my neighbours weren’t too close so noise wouldn’t annoy me. And if I were in OOP’s position I would have moved months ago. I also realised aged about 25 that small kids drive me insane, and I’m happily child free. I hope to god OOP realises the same thing before it’s too late…


Yeah, I'm wondering if OOP has something like ADHD or autism or an auditory processing disorder.


Yea I was wondering if she had some type of noise sensitivity. Because a basketball bouncing outside shouldn't be giving you debilitating migraines. Her best option is to move somewhere where neighbors aren't so close together. Because she can't realistically, or fairly, expect all of her neighbors to bow down to her needs. They have needs to and kids playing outside should be normal not forbidden.


>a basketball bouncing outside shouldn't be giving you debilitating migraines Eh, lots of things can trigger migraines, it's not always ultra loud noises. That said, as someone who suffers from debilitating migraines it's not anybody else's responsibility to be quiet for me. If you want a quiet home then soundproof it better, stop calling the cops on the neighborhood kids playing basketball.


I find the fact she was looking to potentially adopt "an older Ukrainian war orphan" completely wild. That's a perfect set up for abuse. This woman is completely out of touch with reality.


“I would like one winsome, traumatized white teenager, please. The quiet kind that makes me look heroic but doesn’t have a lot of inconvenient needs.”


LAOP is for sure one of those people who adopts the poor Ukranian war orphan or child being sponsored by some Christian missions group in Ghana, and then is shocked that children experience PTSD and behavioral issues and also take more than a week to adjust. Then they end up like that foster mom who went viral because she called taking care of her interracial foster children’s hair “emotional labor” and complained that her foster son was “forcing stereotypes onto her as the maternal figure by repeatedly trauma-dumping on her” and was disappointed that he didn’t have more adults in his life besides his foster mom and dad to talk to.


This reminded me of a terrible thread I read about a girl that wanted to adopt her brother (both of them grew up in orphanages after being abused by their bio family). The brother was a terribly traumatized teen that would wake up screaming inconsolably, smashed all their furniture and eventually ran away, despite the best efforts from sis. It was completely soul crushing to read the updates from the sister excitedly getting adoption papers ready, going through all kinds of legal hurdles, just to have that happen in the end.


I think a lot of people underestimate the time, energy, and love you have to put into children who are traumatized. They think they'll magically get the perfect family and the kid will be saved by them and grateful. My sister and BIL adopted a relative's child, and they went into it with open eyes knowing the kiddo had a lot of trauma and issues, and they also had prior professional expertise in childhood mental health. And they are still struggling with how hard it's been. They're doing everything they should do (SO many therapists, doctors, OTs, SPED teachers, etc.) and kiddo has come a long way, but it's still so stressful and hard. When I see these people who are like "I'm going to adopt a Ukrainian war orphan!" it makes me sad to think of the damage that they're going to do to that child. And it never ends! Kiddo has been with my sister for 4 years and has come a long way, but they just had a really hard couple of weeks where he was acting out, stole my credit cards (he's 8 so it's not like he used them), cut bald patches into his hair in the middle of the night, stole his brother's candy, deliberately peed on his bedroom rug, and so much more. He's a sweet kid who just has a lot trauma, but even knowing that it's still really, really hard sometimes.


I have a heartbreaking story. When I was a kid, my mother's coworker and her husband thought they couldn't have kids and so they adopted two brothers. The older brother was fine, but the younger brother had some serious issues which resulted in him having anger management problems and violent tendencies. After a couple years, the mom (surprise!) ended up pregnant. The younger boy didn't take it well and at one point tried to push his mom down a staircase (I think the kid was around 8 or something.) The parents decided they could not trust the younger boy around the baby, so before the baby was born they took the two boys out for the day, took them to an amusement park, bought them a bunch of toys... meanwhile, their things were being removed from the house... When the day was over, they dropped the kids back off at the orphanage where their things were waiting for them... This was maybe 20 years ago. I occasionally think about the boys (whom I never met) and wonder where they are now. I can only imagine how much damage it did to these kids to be abandoned twice. I wonder if the older brother resented the younger brother for it. Their trust in humanity must have been shattered. Fuck those parents.


Holy shit, I couldn't imagine doing that to a child/children, secretly preparing to drop them off at the orphanage would be the absolutely worst fucking thing I can imagine. ESPECIALLY after a really nice day, like can you imagine the amount of anxiety that would cause in the future? They wouldn't be able to enjoy anything without questioning what happens next.


Isn’t this kind of what Gru was planning in Despicable Me, when he was still trying to be the world’s greatest villain? Like, how can you do something that a cartoon villain would do and think you’re doing the right thing?


That's horrible. I understand the parents must have been terrified for their safety and the safety of the baby, but to abandon their children in such a cruel and callous manner instead of getting the younger boy help... those poor kids ☹️


Oh my god that’s one of the most awful things I’ve ever read. Those poor kids. I hope everything worked out for them


Well, you see, in addition to the trauma numbing them into submission, since the kid won't be able to speak or understand English, naturally they won't make any noise at all!


For sure, like honestly internationally adopting any older child that has been orphaned is incredibly difficult already no matter how prepared the parents may be. Even if the child was not in a warzone they are still going to have a lot of trauma from however they ended up alone (and from however long they were alone). Throwing war trauma into the mix would amplify it by so much and this is the last person that should try to save this kind of kid omg. Like if they can't handle some noise from neighbours then how will they handle a child with attachment issues, fear, and other issues that may cause them to act out? It won't be a Hallmark movie. People are very out of touch with reality and it is the kids that suffer.


"What do you mean that's her? She's clearely not from Ukraine. Her skin is too dark."


In what world is LAOP in “the country” if there’s a basketball hoop and driveway by their bedroom window? That’s the suburbs, duderino.


If you live on a .25 acre lot, expect to be able to hear the other people living on .25 acre lots.


Yep. It's awful when I'm trying to sleep during the day while on nightshift and my neighbors are mowing the lawn. That's part of life though. I bought a white noise machine and have a box fan blasting and it fixed that issue


I consider myself a little sensitive to noise, but LAOP takes the cake. The cop really seems to be trying to keep the peace, meanwhile LAOP's like "your kids can be outside until 6pm dinner time and no later, because I go to bed at 8pm". Anybody going to bed at 8pm (and that's cool -- reasons) should invest in some ear plugs during the summertime. Now the music, I agree, might be a bit too much depending on the time of evening. This almost belongs on AITAH, but he's so far from realizing how crazy he sounds, he doesn't even know he needs outside input.


Yeah I love quiet as well, but you have to be reasonable. Neighbours are going to be allowed to make noise, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like listening to kids play outside, the cops aren’t going to make it illegal. Just soundproof your house the best you can and if it’s not enough, you’re going to be the one who has to move.


my old housemate went off to grad school and got a house with a few people she didn’t know well. Whenever I checked in with her, she would complain about the girl with the bedroom next to her doing things like staying up late with her boyfriend and talking/playing music/having sex when I suggested a white noise machine, she told me “I shouldn’t have to spend money on a solution when I’m not the problem” some people just look at these things from that lens, it’s not about solving the problem but about being “right” about the fact that the other people are making their lives uncomfortable


Oh man, reminds me of a roommate I shared a dorm room with. Went to bed at 7pm every night and would literally SCREAM at people who dared to talk in the hallway after she decided it was bedtime. Super light sleeper too, she once woke up to water dripping from my faucet in the sink and would be super passive aggressive toward me for like... making any noise, at all. Or just staying up any later than her in general. I offered to buy her an eye mask, earplugs, and a white noise machine. She wasn't having any of it. And I was already being as quiet as possible!


AITA if I call the cops on these LOUD ASS BIRDS that make massive noise outside my windows starting at 4:30 am? I'm joking, but kinda not, they're loud as fuck. A year or two ago I could sleep through it (til 10.am on a weekend) but now I'm in my 40s. nope. So now I have a Dyson fan. I also have issues with my children and cats being loud and annoying but at least we received those by choice.


Man. We have a robin that builds a nest outside my bedroom every year. She builds so quickly that she's got the eggs in there by the time we want to take it down. She's also very loudly protective.


A pair of mockingbirds have chosen the tree nearest my bed. They get *pissed* when a squirrel gets in their tree, and I’m like, my good birds, you chose a major squirrel thoroughfare as your home.


I'm not sure what's worse, squirrels or mockingbirds. I'm gonna go with squirrels. I'll show you why.


Can I call the cops on my cat, who sometimes jumps on my chest at 5am and yells at me?


[Cat cops](https://excitedcats.com/police-cats/) Just be aware the Cat Cops will probably also jump on your chest and lick your toes and puke on your carpet.


Fucking mourning doves


*hooooo WEEEEEEEEEE hooooo* *hoo, hoo* [Repeat 240x]


I spent my high school years and some of my 20s in Alaska. Not far enough north that we had 24 hour days in summer, but it also never got like super dark, there was some astronomical twilight in the upper atmosphere. As you can imagine at that age I went out for a lot of nights drinking on the beach in front of a bonfire, summer keggers and Rubbermaid totes full of jungle juice, that sort of thing. Trying to go to bed when the sun is fully up at 3 am while ALL the d*** birds go crazy at max volume while you feel your hangover setting in with every passing minute has left me with a searing hatred for our feathered 'friends'.


I’m also sensitive to some noises. I used to live in a townhouse next door to a family with small children. When it rained (or was too hot/cold) for the kids to go outside, they would bounce a basketball inside their house for hours. The constant ‘thump thump thump’ drove me up the wall. I would start feeling terrible anxiety welling up in my chest. Did I call the cops? No. I put on headphones, went to a different part of the house, and if I was feeling really jumpy, would put on a meditation app and practice breathing until my body decided to calm down. However annoying the constant thumping of the basketball was (and it was HOURS), I wasn’t the one trapped in a house with small, bored children. The same neighbors also had a newborn baby that cried all night for the first few weeks. Our bedrooms shared a wall. I downloaded a white noise app instead of calling the cops on the sleep-deprived parents. I love quiet, but part of not living alone away from civilization means that there could be noise. LAOP needs to learn some coping skills and problem solving. Oh, no, kids playing outside in the summer in the evenings when it may be cool enough to do so comfortably? The horror!


This person would hate WFH in my building during lockdown. There's a courtyard I can see from my window where I think some Army reserves were hanging out (quarantine hotel) and one guy did burpees for like an hour every single fucking day with really squeaky shoes on the concrete. They also regularly held like little BBQs which was fine but they were also loud and our insulation is so poor it was just like being outside with them, minus the delicious food I could smell but not eat. My upstairs neighbour didn't play much music during lockdown but the day we called it quits for good last year he had his music up until 3AM right above my bed (he is aware of this and we have had talks before, I wasn't going to be rude about it on the first night in two years he could really celebrate).


The sun hasn’t even set by 8pm in Massachusetts in the summer!


I am extremely sensitive to noise but not once has it occurred to me to call the police on kids playing basketball during....normal waking hours? Surely OP knows it's very uncommon to go to bed at 8pm. Time to acquaint yourself with noise cancelling headphones and earplugs


I have the same extreme sensitivity to noise. Certain sounds are just unbearable. To the point that I'm liable for a panic attack or a meltdown. So I keep earbuds around, or a headset with noise canceling. If those aren't appropriate (e.g somewhere I'm expected to be social and need to be aware of other sounds) I try and have the ambient noise up. If I'm stuck with none of those options, I just have to focus on tuning out the triggering noise (as in, the noise that causes/triggers the distress) and keeping calm.


Interesting that LAOP says they bought a decibel meter but doesn’t report the readings. Could it be the noise is objectively not that loud? 🤔


Even more interesting that they bought a decibel meter **but not ear plugs to reduce the decibels**


Right? If it was as bad as laop is saying surely they would be waving those numbers around as proof?


Yes. Even if the neighbor was blasting music, a reading inside her home with the windows shut would be lower than her speaking. Plus an SPL meter has different frequency curves to measure levels so she might not even know how to use it.


Odds that the “racial slurs” are black kids saying the n word to each other?


> they let it slip that one of these families is claiming I’m targeting them for their race (which makes no sense 1/1


This is exactly what I was thinking.


OP needs to invest in a white noise machine and a hefty dose of mind your own damn business.


*white* noise machine might help with those racial slurs


I see what you did there. I am not clever enough to have set up that particular pun on purpose though.


That was something that absolutely stood out to me in the LAOP and I was surprised it took me this long to see it commented on. Between one of the families "accusing LAOP of racial discrimination" (which LAOP finds preposterous), and the kids "using racial slurs" that are making LAOP *uncomfortable* during their basketball game, it is 100% black kids using the n word with each other. I would bet money no one's even said a hard r.


Without a doubt. I like how she sprinkled that in there as something that shocked her, while she’s repeatedly calling the cops on a black family for living.




100% odds that the kids/family are black, because LAOP says they're being accused of racial bias even though the other family they're complaining about is white. Plus, while black kids are of course not the only kids who play basketball, for some strange reason a lot of people find that the melanin level of the players somehow makes the noise more irritating. So I'll give you 95% odds of being right, 5% that they were playing with a white kid and called him whitey or cracker.


I love how the neighborhood used to be so quiet you could hear a pin drop, yet they've also called on the neighbors 2 doors down for having a loud party. Are they also new?


I think thats LAOP trying to come off as not racist, because she called on the other neighbors for a party once.


Apparently his version of "moving to the country" is different from most people, which would not consider "close enough to neighbors to complain about the noise several of them make" to be "the country". It's good the cops are actively telling him to cut it out. "Kids play basketball until 10PM" would not violate a noise ordinance even if his area had one, which it doesn't. (Welcome to "the country"!) He's welcome to find it annoying, but sheesh, he can keep that to himself. I suspect the cops asked him what he thought a reasonable quiet time was to see if LAOP is a reasonable human being, or a GetOffaMyLawn asshole. 6PM? Really? (Sounds like LAOP confirmed the officer's suspicions. I expect they are not going to be responding to LAOP's noise complaints in the future.) I mean, I work from home, and the neighbors behind me have a trampoline that those kids can play on for *hours*. It's annoying when I'm trying to work from the screened in porch (but so is leaf blowers, lawn mowers, etc.) and sometimes LadyWired and I have to turn on a little bit of background music, but it's not something I'd even mention to the neighbors, much less call the police about. Ditto for occasional parties that might run a little late.


This sounds like the type of person who would move to the real country and get pissed when they find out how god awful loud chickens are.


This sounds like the type of person to take “Silent spring” as an aspiration


Or is surprised when their dog gets shot for killing the chickens down the road, because they thought being in the middle of nowhere meant it was fine for their pets to free-roam.


How long before the neighbors appear on LA? “My neighbor is calling the cops on my kids playing basketball for violating the noise ordinance!”


At the beginning of the pandemic, one of my neighbors installed a basketball hoop in front of his house. Now, two of his sons are aspiring to join the NBA. We regularly hear the “thump-thump” of someone playing basketball, and our only reaction is to say to each other, “sounds like one of the Johnson boys is playing basketball again.”


Right ? And you leave it off that. Go do something you were planning to do. But definitely don’t make it a big deal than it needs to be ffs


Exactly. I mean, I honestly kinda enjoy it because it’s nice to hear kids being kids. But beyond that, I’ve got plenty of other things to deal with, other projects to do around the house. I’m not gonna waste time complaining about my neighbors. And as a side-note: we try to be nice to the Johnson boys, and they’ve begun volunteering to take care of our yard and water our plants when we are out of town. Turns out being kind has many intangible benefits.


Most kids are pretty decent. Hell, wave a couple bucks at most kids and they'll be much more reliable than any adult for taking care of your plants and shit. They want to do well.


**Reminder:** Do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits. --- Title: Being harassed by neighbors for justified noise complaints (USA) Body: > MA, USA. Single family - owned homes. > Tonight 3 cops came to my home to inform me two families on my street reported me for harassment because I reported them for excessive noise and they let it slip that one of these families is claiming I’m targeting them for their race (which makes no sense because why would I be reporting the other family for the same thing if that was the case?) > How can I protect myself and my job? I have done nothing illegal or wrong and I just want these individuals to leave me alone and stop being so loud that I hear their nonstop noise from inside my house. > I told them I’m willing to have a mediated chat with the neighbors but if they aren’t willing to respect my needs too, I’m not backing down. Cops said they can’t set that up only Chief can. > Backstory: I have neighbors who moved in about 8 months ago who have multiple children that play basketball in their driveway. This driveway is very close to my bedroom window in a neighborhood that used to be so quiet you could hear a pin drop. > Even with my doors & windows closed & noise blocking curtains, I can hear the kids screeching til about 10 PM and the constant pounding of the basketball. The parents like to blast loud music and also play basketball. I regularly hear the kids saying racial slurs. It’s unpleasant. > I tried to talk to them but the mom just ignored me. So I’ve reported them to the local PD every time I could hear them from within my home. The cops don’t do much except for the times it’s been the adults partying. They quiet down for a while and then start up again. > I’ve probably called about 10 times over the span of 6 or 7 months because I wanted a record that I reported it in case I ever needed to escalate. It’s gotten to where I get panic attacks just being in my house from their noise. It sets off my anxiety to where I can barely function and the pounding of the basketballs triggers debilitating migraines. > The guy next door to them, I called on once because he was having a loud party I could hear from within my house until all hours. This past weekend I called on that guy door again because he had a crazy loud party and was setting off illegal fireworks. > The cops told me they can’t pinpoint where noise or fireworks are coming from, can’t do anything about it. They said there is no noise ordinance and kids will be kids. I tried to explain that I have a right to peaceful enjoyment of my home and I work from home and have health issues and they just said the kids will be kids. My response was “well the kids won’t but the parents should be willing to compromise”. > They asked me several times what would be a reasonable time for quiet. I suggested 6 PM, they said no. I suggested 7 pm. No again. 8 pm, when I go to bed? No again. Why even ask me? > I have purchased a decibel reader to get better record of how loud and obnoxious this is. I don’t understand why their right to be loud trumps my right to quiet enjoyment of my own home. Cops then suggested I host a projector movie party for the kids on my lawn. ?? No. > The cops also informed both neighbors that I was the one reporting them despite my requesting them not to due to fear of retaliation. > What are my rights here? This bot was created to capture original threads and is not affiliated with the mod team. [Concerns? Bugs?](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=GrahamCorcoran) | [Laukopier 2.1](https://github.com/GrahamCorcoran/Laukopier)


LAOP tries to be get sympathy by saying loud parties/fireworks when told to suck it up but from their words: > I’ve reported them to the local PD every time I could hear them from within my home. The cops don’t do much except for the times it’s been the adults partying. They wouldn't claim the cops don't do much if it's only about adults and their parties. They just don't want to hear kids play. Which is fine position to have, but that is you move to a place you're out of ear shot of neighbors like multiple acres away from the next person.


I think LAOP should petition to be allowed to live in a seniors community that usually only allow 55+.


Have you heard seniors talk? They are loud AF (some of them at least). But they may go to bed early enough it does not matter.


lol until you neighbor get huskies. then you need to be miles away. to be fair it was only at 6pm feeding time you could hear them, they got really excited at feeding time.


Idk. I lived in a neighborhood that had 2-10 acre lots and not many kids (I don't recall seeing any except the next door kods). It was pleasant in many ways, but it wasn't quiet. People have dogs and horses and tractors and lawn mowers. You could hear the main street that was a couple miles away. Noise can be easier to deal with when it blends into a background. I live 2 blocks from the freeway and I'm less bothered it than I was bothered by the tractors.


Imo lawn equipment is much more annoying than kids playing. It seems like people don't want to start mowing at the same time as their neighbors so they wait until they're done, so it's a constant string of small engines running all day long. Source: I used to work nights and sleep during the day.


Gotta love when people expect everything around them to adjust to meet their personal wants and needs. There is a guy on Nextdoor who is always trying to get a mob together to have the airport moved because he’s sick of the noise caused by planes flying over his house. The airport has been there at least 40 years longer than the neighborhood he chose to purchase a house in.


And when the airport was built, it was probably waaaay out in the country so the noise of planes wouldn't disturb people. My local airport is that way. There was an accident nearby about 25-30 years ago. The pilot of a small private plane had a heart attack just after taking off and died. The plane landed on a house and a child inside was killed. Very sad, and people went apeshit about it. "They hadn't oughta be allowed to fly planes over where people live!" Lady, that means no air traffic whatsoever. We live a few miles from an airport. When we were looking at houses, the realtor was quite specific that certain houses were in an airport noise zone. Sometimes weather patterns mean we get planes overhead. It happens. Deal with it.


Expecting children to go inside and play silently at 6pm is crazy, but expecting to move an airport is straight-up unhinged.


It's a recurring issue on our Nextdoor too. The airport has been right where it's at since the 60s. There's a curfew between 11 PM and 6:30 AM, and they paid for noise mitigation retrofitting in several areas. And yet, every so often, someone gets up in arms about the planes.


San Diego, specifically the Point Loma area, had a bunch of old fucks bitch and complain back in the day about the airport. The rich pricks got free windows. The people in downtown got fuck all.


I gotta love when people move to a farm/rural area and expect complete peace and quiet, only to complain because goats are loud af. I can somewhat understand not wanting to live with bird cannons, especially when they start at the crack of dawn, but at least do some research before moving into a farm community.


>If you called the cops on me regularly, I assure you, whatever you hated, I would be sure to do it twice as bad until you moved or died. Lmao what an evisceration


lol >Why do loud people have more rights than quiet people? I just would like to have a legal expert explain that to me. they don't have ***more*** rights, you have the ***same*** rights. OP could be just as loud as their neighbors if they wanted to. Just because the law isn't working in your favour, doesn't mean the other person has any more rights than you do.


Jesus christ. It would make me happy if my upstairs neighbors would stop their small children from holding elephant bowling tournaments or whatever the hell they're doing all afternoon but I'm not *calling the cops* on kids being normal kids. I bang on the ceiling if they do it after 10 pm but it's just amazing that LAOP thinks the cops are actually going to do anything besides tell the neighbors LAOP is a grumpy weirdo.


In all honesty they probably aren’t doing anything crazy. My 8lb cat sounds like a Buffalo herd when she’s trotting around upstairs


My cats are also 8lb, and sound like full-grown lions bounding after prey. I wonder if cats can change mass at-will like Ant-Man does?


My cat can change the mass of his ass depending if he wants to be picked up or not.


Of course, physics is only a suggestion to cats.


Do they have a nice sunny window to sleep in? Cats absorb energy from the sun. Energy = mass. You can tell this is true by the sound the cat makes. Jumping up into the window is noiseless, or almost so. Jumping down after sunning results in a loud ***THUD.***


I go to the basement to to laundry and somehow the cat sounds as loud as a human walking around


I feel bad for LAOP, but not for the reason she would like. We recently moved onto a street jam packed with kids spanning the entire kid age-spectrum. Frankly, I thought it might take a little getting used to because our previous neighborhood was kind of sparse, and not an easy place to raise a brood in the traditional soccer-mom sense, so there weren't a lot of young families. Growing to absolutely love the sounds of life all around us took no time at all. Lots of thunking basketballs, little ones having the very worst moments of their lives (i.e., big sister won't hand over the pink chalk), the occasional "HURRY UP, WE'RE ALREADY LATE;" it's simply joyful. One of the worst things about anxiety is that it's a cannibal. Worse than that - it feeds upon itself. And if you don't recognize that and find tools to shut it down, it goes looking for more and more things to snack on and grow. And it is entirely not a neighborhood problem. Or an unresponsive law enforcement problem. I feel bad for her because she's crumbling to pieces. I feel worse for her neighbors because just 8 months ago, they were filled with excitement at moving into a house where kids could be kids and spend the days playing outside.


>One of the worst things about anxiety is that it's a cannibal. Worse than that - it feeds upon itself. And if you don't recognize that and find tools to shut it down, it goes looking for more and more things to snack on and grow. One of the things that feeds anxiety is uncertainty and waiting for that other shoe to drop. I wonder if mentally assigning the hours of 4-10pm as "basketball time" would help her feel less freaked out. Actually, it's unlikely that the kids would want to play basketball for more than 4hrs. She could try bribing the kids: if you guys play basketball for at least 30 minutes everyday at 4pm, I'll give you $20 at the end of the week. She could simply organize her day around the expected noise issue; your average kid also isn't going to want to play basketball twice a day.


That would be a very effective tool, and I'll bet if the kids were good - and good natured - about it, she could find that spark of "these are good kids" that might let the rest of the knots start loosening up.


>One of the worst things about anxiety is that it's a cannibal. Worse than that - it feeds upon itself. And if you don't recognize that and find tools to shut it down, it goes looking for more and more things to snack on and grow. Well said. An upvote alone doesn't do justice to how apt I think that is here.


It always amuses me how people who clutch their pearls at the thought of an HOA taking their freedoms also lose their shit when other people exercise those same freedoms.


Based on this woman’s comment history, where she literally says, “I’d love an [sic] HOA” she is the person who runs for HOA President and makes the neighborhood unliveable.


Truly. She'd be the one with a paint strip making sure everyone's mailbox was the exact correct color, a ruler to start sending out violation notices for grass 1/8" too tall, and a GPS-synchronized clock to write folks up for their trash can being at the curb too early or late. (True Story: The neighborhood I grew up in required every mailbox to be the exact same color and style. If yours wore out, you were responsible for replacing it with the exact same model and painting it the correct color (which was not the factory color.) To the point where the local paint store kept small containers of paint on the counter labeled "[Subdivision] Mailbox Green".) FWIW, I live in an HOA neighborhood now. They are totally chill. They maintain the common areas and pool, repave the cul-de-sacs when they need it, and that's about it. I'm sure they'd take some action if someone painted their house some eye-watering colors, or let their house or yard go completely derelict, but other than that, don't bother anyone.


I've had neighbors with music so loud it literally knocked down wall decorations and OP is complaining about kids playing basketball?


FWIW, if any of my fellow BOLAR-Bears have noise problems at night, I can heartily recommend Bose Sleepbuds if a cheap white noise machine doesn't cut it. They both block noise like earplugs (but are a *lot* more comfortable), and also function as really-tiny white noise machines for even more sound-masking. (They are small enough that they even work for side-sleepers; the electronics are about the size of a chickpea.) LadyWired has been known to snore on occasion, and I sleep like a baby with those things in.


I kinda feel bad for LAOP because I understand being sensitive to sound. (Am autistic) But they really need to be more reasonable. I'm curious if they've even tried white noise like fans or ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones. I remember when I was in college dorms I got this cheap Bluetooth sleeping mask that wraps around and has flat speakers over your ears so you can play music/white noise/podcasts in bed. Which combined with a fan seemed to help a lot while in bed when normal noise canceling headphones aren't comfortable.


I love the projector movie party comment, and I would like to know more of the context. I'm picturing LAOP whining about how her neighbours hate her and some poor cop who has been out there 13 times already just dying inside and sarcastically suggesting it.


The only thing I see as wrong here (I mean on OP's side) is that the cops told the neighbors who complained. Let's be honest, the neighbors probably would have suspected who it was, but the cops shouldn't have confirmed it. I recently called on my neighbours across the street, because they're doing construction/landscaping, and instead of using their driveway, they've dumped multiple massive piles of fill and gravel in our roadway, blocking traffic one direction, and they now have a huge dumpster type bin also blocking even more of the road. Apparently the cops told the guy that it was "the woman across the street" who called, and once they left he went to our neighbor's place and started screaming at the woman who lives there...when it wasn't her who complained. Telling the people being complained about who it was who reported them puts them in danger if the neighbour is volitile.


I go to bed around 9pm, my neighbours (terraced house, 3 kids) go between 10 and 11. So I wear ear plugs.


Ooof. My mother had major mental illness and was unreasonably triggered by noise like this. I am getting profound echoes of her in this post. It went into a horrible downward spiral of police calls, harassment counterclaims, forged letters of complaint, small claims battles, and general feuding. And a whole lot of tears and frustration. It was ugly. The noise isn't actually the issue: there's almost certainly a mental health issue like major anxiety disorder or trauma here and the noise just happens to be a trigger.


So many people misunderstand the term “quiet enjoyment” of their property. I had a tenant in the property I manage call the police on their next door neighbor for listening to music at a slightly elevated volume mid-afternoon on a Wednesday. It was violating her right to “quiet enjoyment” of her rented property. “Quiet Enjoyment” means that you, as a tenant, can use the space you are renting in any legal way you like, so long as your use is not bothersome to those around you. The “Quiet” part refers to YOU, not the world around you, not your neighbors. And it’s a qualifier that is at least partially intended to allow your landlord to take action against you if your enjoyment of the property is disruptive. You typically have no ‘right’ to silence within your space.


She’s also in another thread saying she would love to have an HOA. NO ONE wants an HOA… except someone who calls the cops on children playing basketball.


I can somewhat emphatise with LAOP in that if they need to wake up early I can understand why kids playing until 10PM is annoying (setting the limit at 6PM is hilarious, though), but yeah, LAOP's schedule is their own issue.