T O P
Laukopier

**Reminder:** Do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits. --- Title: Backyard neighbor yells “DONALD TRUMP” and shoots bottle rockets at our house every time we are outside. Body: > I have never talked to this man. We were silent, respectful neighbors for almost two years. > It all started after a poker night we had on our back porch, and some of my friends I had over are black. He yelled “DONALD TRUMP” for the first time during that poker game and it’s been happening ever since. > Every time we are outside he yells “DONALD TRUMP!” Over and over and shoots bottle rockets at our house. > I’ve also seen him on camera throw a grill brush at my dog. Like… standing up on the fence with a grill brush in his hand and threw it at my dog (he missed). My dog doesn’t even bark. He was trying to be an asshole. > Any legal recourse I have here? Neighbors have said he has shown up on their porch with a gun on his hip when they have complained to him about anything. I still have never talked to him. I just want it to stop. > Cops asked for proof that he was shooting bottle rockets AT my house and not over my house? They’re illegal in my state (CO). The cops just seem unwilling to do anything about the situation. This bot was created to capture original threads and is not affiliated with the mod team. [Concerns? Bugs?](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=GrahamCorcoran) | [Laukopier 2.1](https://github.com/GrahamCorcoran/Laukopier)


Rokeon

Considering the current extremely dry and windy weather conditions in Colorado, I would be less worried about the neighbor showing up on my porch with a gun and more worried about his fireworks accidentally burning down the whole neighborhood.


_jeremybearimy_

Yeah I guess there aren’t any current fire restrictions in LAOP’s county (or the cops just really really really suck), but that’s something LAOP should look into and keep an eye on, and the fire dept may want to know about. Some CO county restrictions don’t even allow smoking a cigarette outside let alone bottle rockets, and it’s almost summer.


mattyisphtty

Yeah I think this is a great one to take the evidence to the fire department with. If there's a burn ban (http://www.coemergency.com/p/fire-bans-danger.html?m=1) this would be very easy to deal with. Regardless of the burn ban, bottle rockets are currently banned in Colorado. https://www.kktv.com/2021/06/29/most-fireworks-are-illegal-colorado-nearly-all-colorado-springs/#:~:text=According%20to%20Colorado's%20fireworks%20laws,Rockets%20(including%20bottle%20rockets) And even the legal ones have restrictions based on 4th of July and New Years which we aren't close enough to. Fire department will get involved, likely with the fire marshal paying him a visit. Unlike the cops, the fire department actually really gives a damn about this kind of stuff. You should still pursue with the police as well because having a written record is great in case this moron does really start a fire that does property damage you can submit it to the insurance company.


Off-With-Her-Head

Fire depts have lots of down time. They love to confront asswipes who throw burning things. Call your local station the next time, no matter what time it is.


wetwater

They loved my neighbor's near-weekly garbage fires. They also loved being told the painted wood and pressure treated lumber he was burning one afternoon was a cookfire. They also loved issuing him fines every time they came out.


Bryguy3k

Well the guy that dumped hot ashes into the “green”space behind his house and started a fire during a 60MPH windstorm with a burn ban in place was charged with a felony (class 6, lowest possible in CO)


BitwiseB

Has somebody sent this advice to LAOP?


MeriwetherGrey

Iiii am gonna go with “the cops really really suck”, and also with “they probably are pals with the guy, not just fellow travelers politically”.


monkeyman80

I'm telling you Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away I had a different problem!


jaimacho

Yo, you should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed.


Peanut_Blossom

Yo, yo! Homies, check it! There's something messed up with this place. We keep fighting with each other, none of the TVs get the NFL RedZone channel, my soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the bad place.


praisedbe

JASON got it?!?


abbygirl

This is a real low point


bluehands

This one hurts.


waaaayupyourbutthole

As someone currently living in Jacksonville, that character *completely* embodies this city and is an absolutely perfect representation.


BitwiseB

Is Jacksonville okay? Like, the water and stuff’s all been independently checked? Just saying, if a dude who thinks taking a straw into a safe will let him breathe is a good representation, it’s a little concerning…


Roscoeakl

Theres a picture that occasionally floats around the internet of some dude with a swamp cooler on his car and a generator tied down to the roof of the car. That dude lived down the street from me in Jacksonville


aalios

Aren't swamp coolers evaporative coolers? Even if it wasn't on a car that wouldn't work well in Florida.


Roscoeakl

Listen, you think someone strapping a generator to the roof of their car is using logic for this kind of shit?


aalios

Aight, you right. It is Florida.


BitwiseB

Happy cake day!


Roscoeakl

Hey thanks!


Thebazilly

I hear it's one of the top 3 swamp cities in Northern Florida.


AssssCrackBandit

Honestly I heard this reputation but I visited St Johns and Ponte Vedra and it was mad nice


waaaayupyourbutthole

But also, Ponte Vedra is where the rich people live. Us poors live in Jax.


AssssCrackBandit

Sorry I may not be aware but isn't it all considered part of Jax? I visited bc I have relatives in St Johns and PV and they both consider themselves to live in Jax because Duval and St Johns County are so intertwined


waaaayupyourbutthole

Jacksonville is weird. There are a few different areas that are *technically* part of Jacksonville, but at the same time they're not really Jacksonville *proper* and are noticeably different from the rest of the city


waaaayupyourbutthole

Oh I love it here, the residents are just complete fucking idiots (including myself, but not quite the same level as the Jax born natives) lol


CorndogNinja

A city so nice, they named it Jacksonville


a_random_username

Oh, fork.


EatinToasterStrudel

Oh dip


Darth_Puppy

This is why he's my favorite character


wylietrix

I loved that character.


rainbowbrite07

How could OP insult Jason like this?! Jason is too awesome for TFG.


Drexelhand

*"Yo, You Should Listen To Me. I Came Up With Hundreds Of Plans In My Life And Only One Of Them Got Me Killed."*


Egsession

It’s fun to rewatch that scene and watch Jameela Jamil nearly break from that delivery.


TheGuyInAShirtAndTie

How dare you assume Jason would vote for Trump. He'd clearly have voted for Kanye


jaimacho

I doubt he'd vote at all.


TheGuyInAShirtAndTie

Maybe for American Idol


EatinToasterStrudel

Jason would go to vote on Election Day and be mad he couldn't vote for American Idol.


jaimacho

Especially if anyone covered RHCP


thisshortenough

He'd clearly have voted Bortles


techno156

Or Ariana


read_with_a_slash_s

Gotta vote for family


refenton

I gotta imagine that Jason committed at least one felony in his life and lost his voting rights


stuffeh

Maybe if he hasn't competed all the terms of his sentence. But in FL Nov 2018, amendment 4 was passed, and only a felony conviction for murder or a sexual offense is the only way to permanently lose voting rights. I don't think Jason did either things. Mostly arson, theft, robbery. Even then you might talk the state clemency board to get it back. But Donkey Doug might have served for felony robbery and murder for the locked safe thing. Then again the show started before 2018 so you're still probably right.


suprahelix

You only get your rights back if you pay off your court fees. Also, btw, the State will not tell you how much you owe.


jaimacho

Pillboi was the one he attempted to rob the with the safe.


jintana

It was AcidCat’s boat.


uiri

It didn't seem like he was known to police.


EatinToasterStrudel

He did get arrested after Michael saved him back on Earth.


otterlyonerus

He's a felon sooo.


jaimacho

Is he?


Oxford_interrobang

I am offended on behalf of Jason Mendoza.


HelloJoeyJoeJoe

Yeah, never saw any racism indicators from Jason on the show


buddieroo

“Everyone thinks I’m Taiwanese. Heaven is so racist”


HelloJoeyJoeJoe

Not gonna lie, I would have not guessed Filipino other than his name. Damn, he is a hot dude though


missjeanlouise12

Have you seen **I Want You Back**? He has shoulder-length hair and....mmm, mmm, mmm.


jintana

Jason was a dumbass, not a cutter unt.


bestsirenoftitan

He’d have voted for Deez Nuts


Umklopp

>Contact the police each and every time he does something aggressive. Log the call and experience in a notepad. If police respond, politely ask for their badge number so you can have solid documentation. I don't know why, but this advice has me cracking up. Not because I think it was bad advice or wouldn't work! Just something about picturing a special notebook for "Police Interactions RE: Bottle Rocket Asshole"


Bluest_waters

Its top notch advice. Do that. Then get your neighbors to also call, and log every time they call. Talk to the police liason officer and tell him your story. Talk to your city council member and ask that they call the cop shop and ask why nothing is being done about this problem. Talk to the Sheriff. Become a pest. Trust me, you gotta make your problem THEIR problem. And when it becomes their problem, THEN they will do something about it. One complaint? Pfffffffffftttt. Cops won't do shit about one complaint.


mera_aqua

>Trust me, you gotta make your problem THEIR problem. And when it becomes their problem, THEN they will do something about it. There's a reason the Karen stereotype exists. Because middle class white women know how to make their problem everyone's problem. It gets shit solved


Koeke2560

>Trust me, you gotta make your problem THEIR problem. And when it becomes their problem, THEN they will do something about it. This is the way.


Thameus

Video surveillance would go a long way there if you could catch the bottle rockets being fired.


ALoudMouthBaby

> Just something about picturing a special notebook for "Police Interactions RE: Bottle Rocket Asshole" It seems funny at first because of how absurd it seems, then you realize that its just another common aspect of life in America and it starts feeling sad. For people suffering pretty much any kind of harassment/stalking creating a paper trail like this has become fairly standard advice.


Umklopp

You bummed me out too, but then I read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/upzokf/one_way_to_fix_an_annoyance/) and the two things cancelled each other out.


RedditSkippy

I really hate when the cops split hairs like that. Bottle rockets are illegal, so do something about that.


myfreewheelingalt

If it's the difference between charges of mischief and attempted arson, it's a fair question to ask a complainant.


wheelshit

It is, sure. But it sounds like the cops asked if LAOP could prove that the asshole neighbor was shooting the bottle rockets *at* their house, and when LAOP said they couldn't, they just left without even going after the asshole for the illegal fireworks. Unless by 'bottle rockets' we're talking about the actual soda bottles you try and shoot as high into the air as possible. Because that's the context I'm used to hearing 'bottle rocket' in.


sevendaysky

I've also seen the kind of fireworks that have a cartridge at one end taped to a long stick. You're supposed to put the stick in a heavy bottle/can or into the ground, light the fuse, and get out the way. Like this. https://www.kindpng.com/imgv/hwimwiw_black-cat-bottle-rockets-blackcatfireworks-hd-png-download/


AmericanGeezus

One bottle used as a stand to fire your little rockets from. Vs. A bottle made into a rocket. Idfk, language is weird man.


seanprefect

Fuck you Jason Mendoza might use Moltails but he's not an asshole like that guy.


etherealparadox

How dare you! Jason would obviously vote for himself.


Darth_Puppy

I like how many people have come here to defend Jason's good(ish) name!


etherealparadox

Jason may be stupid, but he's not a Trump supporter. And he has a good heart, he can learn from his mistakes and become better! That's the whole point! Ugh, sorry, I was typing up a whole rant and then deleted it. I love TGP so much, and Jason's my favorite, lol.


Darth_Puppy

Exactly!!!


etherealparadox

They're all such great characters but Jason is just the best. He's so funny and the trouble he got into was pretty much all stuff he did not out of malice (sometimes selfishness) but because he didn't realize it was a stupid/silly/foolish thing to do. All of the character motivations are really nuanced and interesting but Jason's were my favorite. All of that is to say, I think Jason would vote for himself because someone told him jokingly he would make a good president, and he decided he should run and got his name on the ballot.


Darth_Puppy

Yes!!


flanders427

That someone would definitely be Pillboi and he wouldn't be joking when he said it.


rarelyeffectual

Let’s not lie to ourselves. Jason would totally vote for Trump. He would think it’s to vote him off the apprentice and or to win an Xbox 360. it would be the one vote that wins Trump the election. To fix it he would then fall back to the Molotov cocktails.


Mistikman

Jason isn't a bad person intentionally or knowingly. He's just too dumb to really know right from wrong or understand how he's hurting other people. Trump supporters are actively malicious people who like the fact that Trump wanted to hurt any number of vulnerable people. Basically the 4 main characters of The Good Place represented the 4 types of people that would go to the bad place: 1) Bad actions with full knowledge that those actions are bad (Eleanor) 2) Good Actions with Bad Motivations (Tahani) 3) Good Motivations without Good Actions (Chidi) 4) Bad Actions as the result of not understanding the difference between good and bad (Jason)


thisshortenough

Also Jason never had the opportunity to be better. His own father was not a good influence, his mother died of cancer when was young, he grew up in Florida, his school was a bunch of tugboats tied together. As Michael once said: "The point is: People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?"


PAdogooder

You SHUT YOUR MOUTH about Donkey Doug. He was an amazing father and businessman.


thisshortenough

Look I'm not saying Donkey Doug wasn't Dope but when it came to him and good financial sensibilities, they weren't tight, you know what I'm saying?


CloverBun

>he grew up in Florida


bbhr

This quietly killed me. It's just slipped in like an assassin.


Darth_Puppy

Yes!!!


Darth_Puppy

Hey, Jason Mendoza wouldn't be a Trumper! But that's mostly because I don't think he votes


alternate_geography

Jason would never try to hurt a dog, for sure.


Darth_Puppy

Exactly!


fragaria_ananassa

Oh dip


helium_farts

He'd write in Bortles every time


Darth_Puppy

Probably


hellomelancholia

Jason never would have voted for Trump. He's a dumbass but not a hateful bigoted dumbass.


Shalamarr

Jason even had a line of dialogue that was something like “They’ll accept us; we’re refugees. What kind of place would turn away refugees?”.


Ryugi

Good job on the reference. Just got into Good Place myself. Interesting philosophical themes.


PAdogooder

Lol…. Trump derangement syndrome indeed.


Letty_Whiterock

Trump supporters: We're not racist! Also trump supporters:


IntelligentOstrich21

I’m not sure I would be able to restrain myself from yelling back fun facts about trump “DONAL TRUMP!” … is a loser … was twice impeached … wants to fuck his daughter … is a grifter … was a democrat … thinks you’re a piece of shit Etc


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ngwoo

Even in the especially shooty states you don't get to shoot someone on their own property just because they threw something at your dog. Maybe if they were throwing grenades or something


FreakWith17PlansADay

>Even in the especially shooty states you don't get to shoot someone on their own property just because they threw something at your dog. As someone living in an especially shooty state, I concur.


michael_harari

While that's technically true, it's really hard for a corpse to prove they weren't doing something else. For reference see just about any cop shooting


scott_steiner_phd

I hope you are taking the piss mate


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Jond267

>but in most states, a legal one. No it is not


sykoticwit

I look forward to watching the judge burst out laughing at your trial.


DribblingRichard

That is an insane response to this situation.


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Potato-Engineer

You're overstating the problem. Yes, neighbor is horrible, but throwing a grill brush isn't "trying to kill the dog," and bottle rockets aren't "trying to burn down the house" (slightly risky, yes, but the firecracker on the end of a bottle rockets isn't likely to ignite anything but a large gasoline puddle). Shooting the neighbor, while justified in some situations, is monstrous over-escalation in this case, and would almost certainly not be able to use "self defense" as a justification. Edit: not bottle tickets.


pfifltrigg

There was the guy that got acquitted for self defense when he shot a guy that threw movie theater popcorn at him. What state was that in?


Potato-Engineer

None that I want to live in!


Fred_A_Klein

> throwing a grill brush isn't "trying to kill the dog," and bottle tickets aren't "trying to burn down the house" Um, a few days ago this sub was seriously arguing that tapping someone on the shoulder was assault/battery.


Potato-Engineer

Yeah, the sub was debating the legal definition of a crime that's deliberately slightly vaguely worded. And the consensus was "LAOP has _got_ to be hiding something, because this seems very, very strange to prosecute." And here, I'm debating whether the neighbor's actions are bad enough to justify murder in self defense, and I don't think it is.


Fred_A_Klein

> And here, I'm debating whether the neighbor's actions are bad enough to justify murder in self defense, and I don't think it is. I wonder if something like the Eggshell Skull rule would come into play here. " The rule states that, in a tort case, the unexpected frailty of the injured person is not a valid defense to the seriousness of any injury caused to them." - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eggshell_skull Not, a house is not exactly a person, but.... If my house was particularly flammable, and the neighbor launched a firework at it (not knowing of the flammability), and my house then caught fire and burned down, would it not be considered arson?


Potato-Engineer

If your house was that flammable, then you'd be violating several fire regulations. But I seriously doubt that, even then, you'd be justified in liking the neighbor unless the neighbor actually knew how flammable your house was. There's a lot of "reasonable person" you have to get past in order to justify a death correctly.


sykoticwit

Arguably it is a simple battery. It wouldn’t justify you pulling out your .44 magnum and shooting them, though.


Fred_A_Klein

>Arguably it is a simple battery. In a highly technically sense, yeah. Technically, blowing on someone (or fanning them, or otherwise causing a movement of air toward them) could be 'assault/battery', depending on the definition of 'force' used. >It wouldn’t justify you pulling out your .44 magnum and shooting them, though. I hesitate to point this out (some people think I have a hate boner for cops or whatever), but cops have killed people for less.


sykoticwit

>In a highly technically sense, yeah. Crim law is kind of technical. >Technically, blowing on someone (or fanning them, or otherwise causing a movement of air toward them) could be 'assault/battery', depending on the definition of 'force' used. Gonna need a citation for that. >I hesitate to point this out (some people think I have a hate boner for cops or whatever), but cops have killed people for less. Turns out lawful self defense and police use of deadly force are very different things.


Umklopp

Not as a first recourse! Good grief, who let in Florida Man over here?


Kondrias

I mean in this instance it isn't their first recourse. They called the police to ask for help and got a naw man. Now if the neighbor showed up at my door with a firearm. Which is absolutely a threat, i would not be okay with it in the slightest. If someone would brandish a firearm like that aggressively they are unsafe to have a firearm. But in this instance your best bet if you want some form of revenge is probably to be an equally shitty neighbor or talk it out with them. In a public and open place where you know they do not have their firearms on them. Talk with them in a way of, seriously wtf why are you doing this and address the behavior like an adult because you have every right to be secure in your own home and for your animals to not have someone trying to attack them. And also potential arson on your home with bottlerockets. Because dry brush in some states can be LOOKED AT wrong and it will light up. I remember a video in california with a news team covering a fire comming through an area far away, but on camera they caught the foliage igniting with no spark or flame.


queen-of-carthage

I don't believe this is real


PAdogooder

Given your tag….