This needs to change
By - killHACKS
It starts so young. I’ve seen seen attitudes like this as far back as high school. How many AP classes can you juggle? How many sports teams can you be on? How popular can you be/how many social events can you organize and juggle? How many clubs can you be a part of? How little sleep can you get? It just starts too young..:
I has having this discussion with one of my students the other day. She was complaining about not having enough time to work a job alongside her extracurriculars and she *needs* the job because she's getting married next summer (not judging there, it's not my business and she's eighteen) and she's planning a wedding on top of all that.
I kept trying to (very gently) explain that she's ultimately going to have to make a decision and drop something as it sounds like there simply aren't enough hours in the day. She was not happy with this. I think she desperately wanted me to have an answer about how she can juggle four AP classes, four regular classes, a job, cheer, dance, choir, church activities, and planning a wedding while still getting to sleep at night.
Sweetie, as someone much older who has been doing this for twenty-something years longer than you, I'm telling you that it's not possible. There simply aren't enough hours in a day.
I absolutely agree. I know so many people being crushed by our system at a young age. It sucks ass, and it’s obviously not their fault… I wish they could give the system a big “fuck you” and start focusing on what they love. Unfortunately, that results in poverty. It’s a ruthless cycle.
overachievers in college: Adderall and sleep deprivation
> four AP classes,
Only four? Lol.
The fact that you stated her age and felt you had to say not judging, seems kinda judging...
She's a student planning a wedding, I felt it reasonable to point out that she's eighteen and legally allowed to get married. My personal feeling on the subject don't matter at this point, only hers.
There should be options and an acceptable path should people not want to push this hard. I do believe that some people are wired differently and destined to achieve great things. And I don’t mean money, I mean contributions to society. However I agree the rest of us should not feel obligated to try to keep up or risk being called lazy.
My mum is a beautiful lady who definitely means well.
But I work 2 jobs, roughly 4 days a week.
She badgers me constantly CONSTANTLY about me not working full time.
I'm 27 for reference. I have a history of pretty severe anxiety and depression, but I've found a balance that works for me - I'm not earning a fortune, but I'm generally pretty happy and getting by without struggling.
But even with her knowing all this. Knowing that working full time work will send me spiralling back into bad, old depressive habits, she still badgers me. It's so deeply ingrained in her generation that you have to work full time and basically kill yourself for your job to be successful.
And sure, I may not own my own home anytime soon. But enjoying life and being reasonably happy with my circumstances is a much better option to me.
You are doing the right thing. And I support you. I may not be your parent or know you personally. But it sounds like you know what works for you and you are living your life at your terms. Fuck everyone else who doesn’t see that or support you.
Similar situation here, I can’t work a full time job and be happy at the same time. Hell it’s hard to be happy day to day sometimes without a fucking job. All we can do is what we think is best for ourselves.
Yeah good on you!
Most of my friends that work full time have just become tired, bitter shells of their former selves.
Many have worked with the promises of promotions only to be passed up multiple times in a row.
Its just fucking sad to watch.
Very much so, I’m on a journey of self discovery at the moment. Focusing on myself and my family. It’s a hell of a ride this journey called life. Fucking short and not as expected.
Good for you!
Boom Booms and Older GenXers dont give a fuck about mental health or depression or anxiety. I don't want to even talk to epeople my age about my mental health, fuck telling boomers or expecting them to care.
100% whats with the lack of empathy??
Yeah I get what you mean, but my mum does care. That's the thing. Her sister committed suicide due to depression, mental illness runs in the family. She's struggled with depression herself.
Thays what boggles my mind. The idea of having to work full time is so deeply ingrained that she'd rather see me do that with bad mental health than earn less money and be happy hahaha.
Grandma: “Good to see you, what are you doing these days”
>Me: “not much, just working everyday”
Grandma: “oh that’s great!”
my grandfather worked union jobs for a long time and if he so much as hears work more than 40 hours a week then he ask if i need money and tells me how important it is to enjoy life. like yeah i worked 86 hours this week but i’ve got 3 weeks off after this so hahah i put in the time now and get to enjoy an abundance of free time later.
Interesting, does the 86 hours just cover your expenses for 4 weeks? Do you have money left over for savings?
Working 40 hour weeks for a month would be about 160 hours.
Because your grandma remembers tough times when work wasn’t available and people actually went hungry.
She was a nurse for a bit then a housewife and mother of 4. My Grandfather went from the son of a janitor to retired at 50. They were fortunate with a great economy at their backs.
Oh people don’t actually go hungry now? Thank god that’s good to know………
More should. You know. The ones who refuse to work and instead are parasites on those who do.
I almost committed suicide because of being overworked, ended up in the hospital. My mental health has gone down the drain and I have to live with someone, I also abandoned university because it was just too much.
Not to disagree with your statement, but I only overwork so I can pay my bills lol.... fuck my life.
And a lot of us who are overworked and "bragging" about it are doing so because it's the only thing we have left. We aren't proud or even happy. We just don't know what else to say.
"I sleep less than three hours per night usually and last night I skipped that so I'd have clean clothes to wear to work today. Coffee doesn't even help aymore, I'm so tired. The closest I get to a balanced diet these days is this bad of assorted gummi bears I bought at the gas station. But, hey, I don't smell bad at least."
It's not bragging. It's a cry for help.
I think everyone's balance is different. I used to have a job where I worked 5-6 10 hour shifts a week and I was fine with it as long as I had at least 1 day off a week. Then I switched to a job doing 4 10s which was nice with the 3 day weekend, but right now I'm at 5 8s and can't stand it. So for me personally it's not the amount of hours but the number of days because I'm not really motivated to do much afterwork. Like I'd rather do 4 12s than 5 8s in a week even though it's more hours just because I'd feel like I'd get more done with the extra day off
"Stop complaining, snowflake."
This last week I gave my team their end of year reviews. I've got a bunch of overachievers and while that is very much appreciated, I find a healthy life-work balance more desirable. If I see them working after hours I ask them if they really need to be. If they seem to be taking on a lot I tell them what can wait so they aren't overburdened. If it's Friday I say you should log off early. And I make sure they take every single day of vacation they earn.
I wish more people put their teams first. You take care of your people they will take care of the work.
it will get even worse. 9-9-6 is going to be the norm.
What is this?
Norm is China and elsewhere: work from 9am to 9pm six days a week
Most countries don't legally allow this type of schedule.
It's about chance as unofficial policies direct official one
Yes👏🏼 the amount of times I've been shamed by older people if i say something like this or complain about being overworked. My previous manager had coworkers going 5 hours past their shift almost every day because we were understaffed. I told that to someone and they said that's how jobs are that's normal to be working like that. Smh
I got fired last week because I brought in a doctors note saying I can’t work overtime. My employer would rather not have me at all if they can’t exploit me, run me ragged, and jeopardize my mental health.
Its sad to see abuse from employers so normalized today. I hope you find a better job
Wow I hadn’t put such a perfect term to it. It was abuse. As in, if they can’t abuse me they don’t want me at all. Thank you.
Oh yes. At the beginning of the year i had an employer like that. They assigned me to load trailers and after telling them i had asthma they still refused to move me. Even after them seeing me wheezing and almost passing out they didn't care. I quit and after that I realized how replaceable we are to them.
Ouch, that last sentence really stings….
I got fired from a job for missing 17 days over the 3 years I worked there.
Dang That's harsh. Not even a full month out 3 years😕
And yet some people refuse to believe you can be overworked unless you have children. :/
I had friends who worked in High School and managers wanted them to work late on school nights and work all week. When i was 16 i interviewed at McDonald's and was told i will have to work till 11pm weekdays (school nights) and on weekends get off till 12am. Glad i never got a call back. The nerve of some people saying that smh🤦🏻♀️
So infuriating and abusive!
Isn’t that illegal? (US)
Not quite. In my state the labor laws for minors mostly protect those under 16 years old and technically 16 and 17 year olds are not considered minors for "work purpose"
Jeez that makes them sound like machines!
A lot of people mix up productivity and working hours. In around half the time, I accomplish more than most of my coworkers, but for some reason
I quit my old shitty job in june after experience their response to covid and me needing to be with my then 1st grader for virtual school for a few months. They fucked me on family leave and refused to work with me with part time hours. It was full time or nothing. And they were expecting 60+ hours a week. 4 months a year we were basically expected to live at work. And the demanded that i worked 6pm to 6am at minimum 6 days a week and still manage to function enough to handle the kid’s school bullshit. No middle ground. My immediate supervisor advocated for me. It was all his boss and the regional clown. Almost 14 years there and they weren’t willing to help at all. I was done. DONE! Went back to regular hours in February of this year and basically cruised through til I found my current job in the beginning of June and took a few weeks of off time before I started the new place. My boss quit about a month before I left, too. The had another location manager fill in. When i called the regional ass to tell him i was out he said “oh you found somebody to accommodate your schedule?” in the cuntiest way one could possibly say such a thing. A few days later when he was actually visiting, his demeanor completely changed. The other manager that filled in quit 3 weeks ago, too. Lol. That fucking company is the worst. Perdue Agribusiness if anyone wants to know. Fuck em.
New job is a DREAM. Better hours, better pay, better benefits, WAY less stress… which, 3.5 months into… still trying to cope with not having to work myself to death. Like, i find myself stressing because I feel like i should be killing myself because that’s what i’ve always done.
This guy scoffed at me when I told him I work 30 hours a week. He's like I always work 50, sometimes 60. I said "oh wow" but in my head I said, "I'm fucking glad I dont have your life" not sure why he was proud of that
my mom literally worked herself to death as a waitress. all she did was work and then a massive heart attack at 50
As long as capitalism remains the model it never will. Capitalism by design demands extreme sacrifice of your personal freedoms just to survive.
and im sure the communism and socialism doesnt. you are aware of how few freedoms those living in places like china and russia have compared to the US right? the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" I feel has alot of relevancy with people my age right now when it comes to cap vs com. Every refugee who has fled commie countries all seem to say how awful they all are.
It’s not about throwing the baby out with the bath water. I’m well aware of how shitty communism is. Growing up in Russia I watched my parents become hollowed out violent drug addicts in a system that threw its own people under the bus like a firecrackers. Capitalism, free market, democracy. These are things that have the potential to grow into something that treats its citizens fairly without sacrificing productivity or economic longevity. It’s called putting a giant building sized brick on the brake of greed! Greed has become an acceptable side effect of success fucking the consequences right up the ass. Capitalism as it exists today does not reward hard work; it rewards narcissistic personalities and those who were lucky enough to be born into wealth. It is mean spirited and at its very young age of about 500 years it is seemingly self defeating. If you don’t see that yourself, no one will be able to open your eyes but you. I hope you look around and realize that this country is in the shitter, regardless of how prejudiced you may be towards the fringe of society. It is what it is.
I used to work a job with a full on "leave first" roulette.
I don't miss it.
Work to live, don't live to work.
It’s typically bosses/CEOs that will spew such a story about how they worked 90 hours a week to get to where they are today. I want to tell them, if it took you 90 hours a week to do your job, you couldn’t be very good at it.
Yeah this. If I can’t do the job role you’ve designated me in the hours you’ve contracted me, then you are asking to much.
These people come off like the happy slave from Norsemen (great show btw).
It does need to change. I use to wear me being tired on my days off and sore as a badge of honor. It gave me a lot of pride to be able to work harder then anyone else and keep doing it day after day.. but after 12 years of being an order picker for a food distribution company it definitely doesn't have the same appeal anymore. These past 4 mths and counting of working 12+ of heavy lifting nonstop. I get paid by the piece, so basically the faster you move and don't stop, the more you make. I'm fed up and pissed off. All my friends and co workers feel the same way. No raises and they just lean on the ones with an actual work ethic to get the job done. I'm done working harder than anyone for a company that doesn't care. For managers that just sit on their ass and o next to nothing, that try to argue with me that they do quite a bit ....things need to change or everyone like me is gonna quit and watch it all fall apart. Theb again, maybe that's what needs to happen
Sounds good but bills don't stop.
No one is glamourising it…
I know this is a popular sentiment on this sub, but I gotta say I disagree. There are people out there who commit 110% of themselves to their job, and make a ton of sacrifices to do so. If you make those sacrifices and achieve the career goals you set for yourself then you should be proud. We should all understand that such a life requires huge sacrifice, and employers shouldn’t expect their employees to subscribe to that lifestyle - but if thats the life you choose then you’ve still earned the right to be proud of yourself. (And if you chose work life balance then there is plenty of things for you to be proud of as well)
Ik lots of people that are overworked none of them myself included wear it as a badge. But we have a house nice things a happy family ect ect. I put just under 100hrs in this week and will be proud of it cause that one paycheck check will get us things others struggle to afford in a months budget
I work 2 jobs at 60 hours a week to pay off debts and there’s always someone who says oh only 60 im on my 68th or something and I’m like mate it’s not a competition I don’t wana work that much and I don’t wear it like a badge of honour but some people act like just cause they do more cause they have no life that 60 hours isn’t a lot, as soon as I pay off my debts im back down to 40! Im knackered!
Was told I was a likability for making mistakes cause I was only getting 4-5 hrs of sleep for that job. Fuck private construction and fuck my cousin specifically.
I’m working my corporate job 7 days a week these days. Im lead on a new team and don’t have well trained people under me. Burning at both ends…
I couldn’t agree with this more. I currently average at least 100 hours a week at my job and over the past couple of years I’ve conditioned myself to think this is normal and my whole life is just going to be like this. It’s fucked up my entire perspective on life and I’m still trying to ease my way out of this routine. I encourage everyone to preserve your free time and don’t give your life away to your job. In other words, don’t be me 😅
In my first professional job, I was paid hourly. Out of eight hours a day, probably six were meetings. I had to monitor a system for high-urgency trouble tickets and coordinate code releases during the other two, and the BAU stuff was falling through the cracks. It was starting to affect my performance ratings, because all of my other coworkers were staying on top of their shit.
I asked my manager what he wanted me to do, and he didn't approve any overtime for me to get it done and suggested that I take a time management seminar. My coworkers suggested that I just do it off the clock, and then proceeded to brag-complain about how they average 70 hours/week because they're salaried.
That was such a fucking toxic workplace. I thought I could just grind through it and make a comfortable life for myself, but then they kicked me to the curb with a 2 year old and an 8 months pregnant wife because of "re-orgs".
The woman i adore thinks I'm unworthy because I'm not a workaholic. Oh well...i tried for years, and she just has this huge chip on her shoulder. She overworks often and complains and has ditched me for work so often.
I leach off my parents, that’s how I don’t “overwork”
Absolutely. I'm still recovering from burnout 1.5 years ago. Once you get burned out its so hard to get back on track :(
What it we all just stop working?
If I were to do this, I would consider it being a bad parent.
I have to set the president for my kid so that they have a healthy environment.
I don't wear burnout like a badge of honor. I just go through it to eat each week and keep a roof over my head.
Yuuuup. Give me your best 40 hours in a week, I don't mind if its Mon-Fri 9 to 5 or Sat-Wed from 7 to 5 or anything else.. once you've done that, go home and rest. Have fun, make plans, I won't bug you as a boss unless it is an absolute emergency only you can fix. Life is too short to be grinding yourself down at work, priorities should always be family, health, friends, etc.
love it when peopel say 'X needs to change' and dont elaborate on it or start a revolution. hey we get it everyone knows this already stop posting common knowledge for internet fame.
I used to be this kind of person, first in high-school and then at work. In high-school, I was part of 2 clubs and the student council, participated in every activity and somehow kept thinking that I wssn't doing enough. And then at work, I worked every day for almost 2 years without taking any day off (it was so bad that my manager had to "force" me to take days off because it's illegal in my country to take less than 5 weeks off a year). Nowadays, I work way less than before, still more than others and I still have this feeling like I'm not doing enough, it's hard to get rid of it.
And drinking, stop acting like drinking is a badge of honor
Anyone work in the wine industry?
Before I wised up to this. I worked myself almost insane.
Had a 6am to 6pm job in Monday to Friday, military reserves Thursday's 630 to 12(also weekends). Grocery store produce employee on weekends. Sleepless nights. About 50 min commute each way.
I worked everyday for 3 months. That's as far as I lasted. I consider myself resilient. I don't have any ailments or existing issues other than not having a lot of money.
After 3 months of doing those shitty min wage positions. I benefited almost nothing at all. I quit everything during a 2 week long series of mental breakdowns.
Please for the love of the people who care about you, don't work too hard. It is never ever worth it unless it's you directly benefiting from your efforts.
don’t overwork if you don’t want to overwork
Or u can work and stop complaining 🤷♂️
Did you know the healthiest people on the planet works non stop till their death and lives in the Himalaya?
Here's s lie with no facts to back it up. I won't provide evidence, you must just believe me... You mean you don't believe me?
*Shocked Pikachu face*
Now apply that logic to everyone on this subreddit that threatens to quit
except they are quitting hence the continued labor shortage. grow brain please
You mean like information shortage on certain group that works all their life?
my dude you need to figure out just what the fuck you're talking about instead of switching topics every other comment. good luck.
Like switching topic from anti work to anti where you work?
I can link the quote
nah delete your account instead
Sure, wait a minute, I thought we go by video proof first
i can wait but proof video all you need, forst.
Please show me who these people are working non stop shitty retail and fast food jobs up in the himalayas.
Is this anti work or anti where you work?
please show me the people youre referring to, i can wait.
So this is anti work or anti where you work?
Would like to know difference
I don’t want to be in wrong subreddit
Please show me the people you're referring to in the himalayas. You said they're out there, I want to know who they are.
If I show it you with a video link, would you delete your account after, I prefer stakes
Says the person sitting on their bum, NOT working
Who are you to decide that. My hard work and sacrifice makes people's lives better. You're damn right I am proud of my achievements.
Sorry if your job is meaningless. Get a differwnt one.
get a job