T O P
QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/ItsJaaaaake, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


DasTeufelchen

You have my undivided erection


Cozy_Zone

I mean cock suspension. I mean erotic detection. Fuck!


_demetri_

Rey laid nervously on the sheets careful to stay on the towel. She didn't want to get the sheets all messy. She knew she was resorting to unfair tactics but it seemed subtly hadn't worked in her favor. Even when she though Ben was about to get her hints there was always an interruption. So she decided to play dirty, although admittedly she didn't realize how greasy barbecue sauce rotisserie chicken could be as the warm liquid pooled on her belly before dripping down over her ribs and onto the towel below. The longer she waited the more nervous she got, what if she read the signs wrong? But before she could chicken out and retreat to her own room she heard the jangle of keys and Ben Solo's heavy steps in the hall. "Rey! You home? It smells good in here. Is it chicken? Are there leftovers? Rey?" She heard him call out as he checked the rest of the apartment before returning to his room. He opened the door and turned on the light, revealing Rey relishing in her greasy glory. Ben stared open mouthed at her, the keys and whatever bag he was holding crashing to the floor. She winced at the sound of crashing glass. When he did nothing but stand there Rey's resolve turned into mush and she moved to sit up. "Don't you dare fucking move," he said, voice thick as his palm came up to halt her, his eyes roaming over her body. She shivered and she didn't know if it was from the cold or the intensity of his gaze. "Fucking beautiful," he said, his face shifting into something like awe. "Did you do this for me?" "Yes," she choked out, her body shaking with unreleased adrenaline. He stepped over the mess of glass and what she imagined was a puddle of sticky Jarritos soda. "Can I touch you?" "Yes, please." He shoved his backpack off his shoulders and kneeled on the mattress, his hand hovering over her torso as if he didn't know where to start. He bent down, eyes boring into hers, a bedeviled smirk dimpling his cheek. He leaned to the side, taking a generous lick at her ribs, slurping up the viscous barbecue sauce. Rey squirmed, ticklish at the onslaught of his tongue as he hummed his approval. "Did you get it from the Greek market by Demetri around the corner?" He asked before giving her the same treatment to the other side of her body. "Yes! Ah!" She tried to squirm away but his big hand captured her wrists to keep her pinned in place, his legs straddling her as he continued to lick the mess from her skin. "Good girl, now you're going to stay just like that until I'm done." "Oh," Rey remarked, unsure how she was supposed to feel. Was he interested only in the chicken, or something more? He removed his hand, tearing a drumstick off the bird before tearing a bite off and chewing it. His gaze continued to flick between her and the chicken that rested just below her breasts. She fidgeted, feeling so exposed and wondered how people who acted like sushi plates did it. She watched him eat greedily before he tossed the leg bone into the pile of glass and liquidized cane sugar. His lips were shiney with grease as he ripped off another leg. This time pinching off a bit of the meat and holding it up to her mouth. "Have a taste," he said, brushing the meat against her lip. She took it, her lips wrapping around his fingers as she did. His pupils were blown and images of big bad wolves, devouring her whole, flashed through her mind. "I'm so fucking hard right now. I really hope you did all this so I can fuck you." Rey's breath faltered and all she could do was watch as Ben picked up the remainder of the chicken, chomping and chewing in a near grotesque display that had her rubbing her thighs together. He lowered the remainder down to her so she could take her own bite. She opened her mouth wide to tear off a chunk of the breast. Ben grunted at her as she chewed, her mouth watering from the seasoning on the skin. “Good isn’t it?” He asked before taking another bite. The chicken was largely demolished and Ben set the remainder of the carcass in the black plastic container it had come in. “Now, what to do with you,” he said, looking down at her with a hunger that had not yet sated. Rey could only wedge her bottom lip between her teeth, stricken speechless. The moment she’d been wanting for a year and hinting at for months was finally upon her. Ben swallowed thickly before leaning down to kiss her, his lips slick from the chicken. His tongue slid against hers and she lifted her arms to drape around his shoulders.


r10-underU

Sir we have seat reserved for you in row horny, seat number jail.


ultimate-redditer

Why. Did. This. Arouse. Me? .


Scionwest

Wut…the…


HipCleavage

Fucking master piece...in more ways than one


EmperorZoltar

This motherfucker again?!


the_betrayal

I wish today were the 4th of July so I could have lost my vision in a fireworks incident.


NorweegeeSqueegee

But then you'd just be left with your imagination and you just fed your imagination a heaping spoonfull of *that*...


Fromagery

Not sure what I read, but I'm pleasantly surprised


lookiamapollo

/r/demetristrikesagain


scforth

Have my fake award 🥇


puyopop99

Haha this is well written and I respect your ability to express it. But the content of what you have written has now made me hate you.


ReconReese

He didn't write shit. Google it. You respect his ability to copy and paste


wikipedia_it

Lol he’s an archiver. His bio even says it…


Eireconnection

it’s quite clear that you are also him


ReconReese

You gonna credit where you got that from? https://madghosts.com/copypastaarchive/rays-sexy-time/ Just had to Google the first line.


wikipedia_it

Wrong. This linked version is a copy/paste from when Demetri first posted it yesterday but the moderators removed his comment. This archiver copied Demetri’s comment from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/vooqvj/meirl/ieesn1x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


Any-Inspection-4726

I mean penis ejaculated


Cozy_Zone

That doesn't even rhyme, mate


deathmyself

Let loose the dick juice


Any-Inspection-4726

Fuck I mean ejaculation, it was a typo


Cozy_Zone

Erotic Detection and ejaculation don't rhyme tho. Syllables need to be the same and sounds needs to be similar. Not to mention word rythm can also help. ejAckUlation is has different emphasized sounds and two more syllables than detEction for example and throws off the rythm. Yours sounds out with an A while mine is an E. Even words with the same similar letters can turn out not rhyming like Pebble doesn't rhyme with People. Rhyming takes more thought than putting words together because they LOOK similar.


that_nice_guy_784

Never become a rapper of poet


dazzc

I've heard enough, see me after class - for detention.


Cozy_Zone

Normal detention or... That kind of detention~


theycallmejugzy

Call me


TopRestaurant5395

A+


smilingasIsay

This is a very old meme


Fourth_Train

The thought of a divided erection 😧


Hawkmek

and? Don't leave us hanging!


low_kix

She eventually gets out of prison but goes back


Axilleas99

So my stepsister got stuck in the washing machine...


Minosym

and she's calling me for help. But then suddenly...


ShowOk8619

My '''' slipped inside of her ،،،،😺


Shay_Mendez

and then her gynecologist Dr. Sins showed up out of nowhere


Cozy_Zone

And said, "[That's no good.](https://c.tenor.com/OwqHhfUuMUIAAAAC/sonic-thats-no-good.gif)"


fatbabythompkins

Risky click of the day: Success!


eggimage

*I pressed START* bitch took her first shower in weeks at fucking last. house stinks like shite


NiceTryKemosabe

On no! I’m trapped in a super easily avoidable situation. The only possible solution to to put it in my butt. Damn you step sis!


TILTNSTACK

You have my attention. BBQ sauce on tiddies? Yep, I’m definitely at attention.


imuptotrouble

I miss vine


Philosophile22

6 seconds was all we ever needed.


Quxzimodo

Maybe YOU do lol.


Agrt21

Right? Who tf lasts 6 seconds? It isn't a marathon


Philosophile22

Lel


iiitme

Don’t we all


gabe_mcg

Wasn’t this also on [OITNB](https://youtu.be/aPnxY978p_U)? I always wondered who did it first


imuptotrouble

I never watched OITNB so I'm not sure but I'll always remember it from vine


Not_Too_Smart_

Yep!! OITNB said it first from what I remember


kaleb42

Vine took it from OITNB.


appleparkfive

I was always surprised that it just went away. Like the world wasn't ready for that format or something. I'm sure TikTok managed to succeed because of being tied to the Chinese government and having *much* more resources than a typical app ever would, if you followed the money around. But it seems like there's other competitors now for it again. It's a cool format, I like it. Little bite sized videos. I know it's not 6 seconds, but Tik Tok has some wild shit on it. That's for sure.


StayFrostyxD

You had me at barbecue sauce.


Sweatsock_Pimp

Be curious, not judgmental…’bout dem titties!


littlefriendo

They had me at sitting there :)


Curious-Parsley-9003

So I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties... Anyways, this is my essay on the Armenian genocide.


dontjustpullit

Spicy 2x!


radhe91

Immediately thought of Sona Movsesuan. Started imaging this to be her tactic to bring awareness about the Armenian genocide. Shit, i am going to hell.


Due_Pass3271

Relatable moment


Echo_thehedgehog

I'm sitting there, looking at an alien civil war currently destroying Chicago, but enough about that, here's my essay about the starving children in Africa.


No-Butterscotch7993

The teacher meant attention not erection


thinkofthestory

I’m gonna need the rest of this story


[deleted]

DON’T YOU DARE READ THIS AS IT IS PRIVATE, PROTECTED INFORMATION. In 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed by the following founding fathers: ……


wizard680

My favorite attention grabber I wrote is "a couple of miles east of St. Lious are giant piles of dirt."


jar36

[I wanna dip my balls in it!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrmZAXezkhA)


broke_arm29

So anyways, I started blasting


Naive-Month4646

You have my complete attention now tell the rest of the essay


uk-otoA

Orange is the New Black.


Due_Pass3271

Relatable moment


AnyEstablishment1663

Ridiculously over used post


Elisevs

Oh, get over yourself. I've been on Reddit 8 years and never seen it before. And if you use Twitter, then that's your own damn fault.


Monkeyman7777777

Imo bbq sauce is a cover up for shitty cooking. If it isn't good without bbq sauce, it isn't good. And that's why I don't use bbq sauce.


LuxAlpha

BBQ sauce is basically engineered to be as obnoxious as possible


gatorgongitcha

The only good bbq sauce is Wendy’s and that’s only because it’s loaded with so much brown sugar that it technically qualifies as brown sugar with a hint of bbq.


_MrMaster_

>The only good bbq sauce is Wendy’s LMAO


betterworld62

So you are inferring that OP's titties are no good?


Monkeyman7777777

They are only good if they are also good without BBQ sauce.


TesterM0nkey

And titties never tried them together but I’m Up for it


KA1378

I'm all ears. You may continue.


UnknownSpecies19

Slurp slurp


tbagger666

So I'm laying there on my girl, balls deep in buffalo sauce.....


therealbrowniebaker

So I'm sitting there Dildo in ass Jeffery epstine didn't kill him self


Spong_Durnflungle

Go on...


bahamapapa817

Tell me more


crimsonjunkrider

You had me at bbq


MathematicianOld1117

Slaw down!!


duggee315

Go on, I'm listening...


Affectionate-Might-7

So anyways I started licking


Frosty-Heart-1078

This really will attract some attention because first it will give them question like what kind of oil? Is is hot enough to burn your skin and make your breasts fell to the ground or cold enough to make you look like a the bbq to the friends of the dad


All_Rainbows_Die

(…with nothing but chicken bones, bbq sauce covered napkins and regret. I’m out of cherry coke and the reaper looks like he’s getting bored….) ![gif](giphy|xTiTntH1cWq5gyBceQ)


AlbertaSparky

I NEED THE REST OF HER STORY!


BrotatoChips23

I'm interested. Go on.


Kvetanista

What happened next


AveryJuanZacritic

Then my wife pipes up and says, "why don't you put a shirt on?"


MotionAction

Is bbq sauce sweet, and do I need to add extra spices?


ChicagoGuy-1481

That’ll perk you up.


MultPathways

What kind of bbq?


ChicagoGuy-1481

So there I am, both hands on it, tugging for mercy…


fondledbydolphins

Is barbequed nipples the prefered bait for a north american male? When does the season start?


simbiotic_dubz

So i am here chopping off my balls........


ginga__

Well finish the story


Dystorted0ne

She just sparked a new attention grabbing fetish..


milkvisualsd

Honestly i get the nuggets from mickeyd's just to use as a holder for their bbq sauce. I know im disgusting


RFEngineer

And my wife asked me if the ribs were good.


tonman101

Sound like the beginning of a great 4th of July story.


madladolle

Must be Sweet Baby Rays


Dave-C

I had a teacher in HS that went over a bunch of these types of tricks leading up to a standardized test. My grade didn't need to pass though, my class was one of the classes being used for a trial run. So I just turned everything up to 10. I included profanity, physical assault, sexual content and there was a little bit of drug usage in there. So I hit the attention hard early and I only went harder the further I went. I got the second highest grade for my school.


blondestipated

i feel like this has to be at least seven years old but this is the first time i’m seeing it


Onitzun69

So good tips for presentation. Just put some cute animal pictures in the middle of the presentation without commenting it and and everybody will be confused and could make a better impression to the the people you present it for.


Fireflymo

This sent me to vine time, thanks


shadowskill11

Well… the teachers not wrong. Once you learn the formats of about three types of essays and understand how to make a thesis statement you’ll never get less than an A in most writing classes again.


Faloopa

I remember hearing this is high school in the late late 90’s: anyone know where it’s from?


gliscameria

...definitely not murdering anyone.


growing2loveme

LOL ![gif](giphy|ck5JRWob7folZ7d97I|downsized)


Bah-Fong-Gool

You want to know what I got on my SATs? BBQ sauce.


NoRocketScientist

👀 Intentionally or by mistake?..... Just a spot or whole titty?.... Enquiring minds need to know.


Cgunnk03

Black people don’t deserve rights: Now that your all listening let me tell you why that’s wrong.


rpresserreturns

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. The cannibal going to town on my torso yelled "Ma, door!" He continued his chewing.


thecrisp5765

I'm listening.


only-4-lolz

Oh my goodness.. someone please make a book with a series of short stories of food erorica such as these.... PLEASE


gdubh

Ok… you’ve got my attention…


boodlebob

I swear, if I see this post one more time this week


Hyena331

Can yall stop posting this every fucking day Jesus Christ


Soupcan_Sam_

I'd upvote if this wasn't posted literally yesterday, like wait at least a week please! Preferably a month


Eskimo565

Finished with DeepAI: So I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties, my little hand is on my shoulder. Heh heh, I've got to keep going." We're talking about a week and a half ago when my wife made her new book Red Pill about feminism, when I heard you had a major press conference yesterday to tell the world you had a memoir coming out about how she was attacked at a party for her views on feminism. We're sitting across the street from you right there in the middle of some shit that is now about feminism, and I'm just sitting there enjoying the silence. It is so fucking important to have women all around us at our tables like that. The point of feminism is just to talk about how the world would be better off without men, because what women don't have is power or power is not to be seen as a power to be had in society. You just want women to have those lives. When we're talking about feminism we are talking about trying to do that within the confines of a particular patriarchal system. But I'm talking about a book that is now a book. That's why I'm bringing it to you. We're talking about a book that is almost half the way up. It is not just about this particular idea of feminism, but it is now also about this idea of the "feminine experience", and it may well be the most significant piece of mainstream feminism in history.