T O P

Holup

Holup

Correct_Loss8374

Space nazis


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troylatroy

Wait, what?


ZEPHlROS

Did you seriously think Hitler committed suicide?


JasonIsBaad

The empire strikes back


DannyBoy0129

You just nearly killed me of laughter


BionicK1234

Just like my grandpa killed Hitler?


JakeyAtWork

Wait, your grandpa was Hitler?


neofac

A New Reich


LettuceFarmer69

No, Epstein killed him of course


TheBoringOwl

The hero we needed


Phormitago

still alive as a mecha in a base on the dark side of the moon there's a documentary movie about this


sublocade9192

As a Jew I gotta say I’m excited for the challenge. I also seriously love your username and profile


echisholm

Look, if the far Right is to be believed, you've already got a laser based weapons platform, so that's a good head start.


sublocade9192

Oh. They are spot on. I have my finger on the trigger at all times


Saemika

The real holups are in the comments.


yeet4memes

Your username is the most unsettling part of this comment. "We're" working on it..


fish_penis

You’re not an actual Nazi right?..…. RIGHT?!


Emotional-Safety2887

Space Jews!


ohgeebus_notagain

With Lasers!


Mathias_Rc

With spinning tops lasers!


Nlif99

Spinning tops on their nipples with lasers "Deadly Burlesque"


CorvettePoodle

The next level of Beyblades!


UniquelyLivin

And fire guns!


Purple-Surround-1286

With fricking laser beams on a fricking rotating chair!


jeonardo

BBBBRRRAAAKAMUNUGAAAA


lalalane76

Use the Schwartz!!!


One-Estimate-7163

They coming back for their land. Dave is one funny muhtafucka


mrville502

Smoke your marijuanicah


jumbee85

Iron Sky plays this out


Oblivious_Otter_I

Robert Stack


iseepeopletheysayhi

God dammit


DavidJM_Arts

Gonna snap


Tom_Mc_Nugget

Leonard Nimoy


theguywhoa

Call me back


maay44

Another planet full of people drawing dicks on everything,just what we need


Max0417

Dicks will bring peace to the universe.


NoodleSchmoodle

The dickverse begins here.


MrBalanced

Begun, the Dick Wars have


iamkeerock

The Foreskin is strong in this one.


DrBucket

Cum to the Dick side.


testedbeast551

luke cockwalker


testedbeast551

even better luke cockrocker


dms200177

The Phantom Penis.


testedbeast551

# COCK WARS **AND THE PENIS MENACE**


dms200177

Attack of the Chodes.


dms200177

Revenge of the Schlong.


IndependentCurve7482

Break the foreskin using bbc canons


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kricket53

FOOLS! WHIP OUT YOUR TOOLS! DONT YOU SEE WE MUST PULL OUT?!? *We are all living in a dickulation!* We must rise up in bonor! Our erected leaders want to keep us trapped in the matr-dix! These circumcised circumstances were forced upon us. The chode-sen one will save us! The blue-balls in your court, time to spank the enemy where it hurts- in the bank. **No mercy.** **No Vember.** **No nut.**


MemeTitansGO

You should post this in r/copypasta


kricket53

haha done. i almost chickened out and choked, but i decided that my moment has cum.


MemeTitansGO

I'm 69% certain you are the chode-sen one you speak of. I will follow your career with hard interest.


kricket53

are you HIV-positive that you are prepared to face the challenges that have sprung before us? we must stand tall, and fall not for tricks, dicks, or phallus-ies


MemeTitansGO

My resolve is stiff. The excitement is squirting out of me. I'm gathering AIDS for the cause as we speak.


ICBPeng1

Hu-Man: into the Dick-verse


vulkktur

Building a rocket made of dicks


Minethatcoin

No chicks allowed


Chris_7941

Inagine it, a giant floating cock'n'balls Common folk lives in the right ball, VIPs and the government in the left. A market promenade across the shaft, with an industrial zone in the glans, which vents excess heat through the urethra. A countergravitational force generator in all 4 areas which pushes things and people towards the inner surface so that it creates a circular/ball-shaped liveable space, like an inverted, penile planet. A utopia for terran and keplarian humans, dicking around in space


Max0417

Wow. Not only this concept seems practical, there’s even some poetry in it.


Far_Communication139

I agree


Izzysel92

You been watching Austin powers again haven't you?


YetisInAtlanta

I read the first sentence and upvoted. The rest was just a bonus


coolestQTever

Didn't Spaceballs already beat you to the appearance of the spaces ship at least?


AlwaysShitComments

« We can mate with them »


JacquieFromStateFarm

This is the way


johnnysivilian

This is the way


Ph6r60h

This is the way


BriceL95

This is why they don’t make contact 😓☠️😂


YessAManni

>This is the way , step inside. This is the way, step inside. This is the way, step inside. This is the way, step inside.


Jimi_The_Cynic

Do you want AIDS2? Because that's how you get AIDS2.


iComeInPeices

Space AIDS!


CWBtheThird

SPAIDS


Luzer1211

even if they weren't human we could


AlwaysShitComments

Yup ur right, a Cloaca is a Cloaca


AutomaticRisk3464

They probably came here and fucked some monkeys then came back and showed us technology and how to make buildings and shit. Who knows


ShambolicShogun

People be like, "There he goes...homeboy fucked a Martian once..."


fisheswithherbs902

Alien...*angry Demi Levato noises*


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angeredpremed

Oh my God. I forgot about poot


sammndl10

"Aliens are people too"


natet62838

Hahahahahahah


Guitarwhiz1000

Does anyone take her seriously?


USC1801

Please refer to Demi as "Demi the Great Extra Terrestrial Whisperer. "Does anyone take Demi the Great Extra Terrestrial Whisperer seriously?" And the answer is fuck no. Hide your froyo.


Atomsq

No, she's as irrelevant as it gets and has only been doing asinine nonsense so her name isn't completely forgotten, which seems to be working


ModernCavemanDiary

Murder them and take their stuff?


omedez

But they may have the same idea


ModernCavemanDiary

Don't worry it is our manifest destiny to conquer the galaxy they will submit or die. If we find them first we have the superior tech


omedez

Whoever finds the other first will have the upperhand


ModernCavemanDiary

Agreed that's why we as a species need to pull our heads out. Have you see the grabby aliens theory?


bigSlicePls

There's a theory where they are at a high enough technological advancement where they can literally simulate their own reality sustainably, rendering exploration deprioritized


ModernCavemanDiary

They being the aliens we murder in their VR couches?


bigSlicePls

That would be immoral, wouldn't it?


ModernCavemanDiary

I guess till we unplugged thier servers


ModernCavemanDiary

Oh i read that as immortal.... It's not immoral to murder a vegetable...


omedez

No but now I am intrigued


ModernCavemanDiary

https://youtu.be/l3whaviTqqg


omedez

This remind me of the Fermi Paradox. Considering the lifespan of the Universe, we are an early civilization, but also considering how large is the Universe they may be many other early civilizations. whoever starts expanding first will have a huge advantage over the rest. Shit like that scares me


ModernCavemanDiary

Right we must focus our aggression externally or die


omedez

We are in just living in a brief period of peace before the intergalactic wars begin.


Pres-Bill-Clinton

You are assuming every civilization can progress. Read Guns Germs and Steel. There has to be a right combination of factors in order to progress. Otherwise the civilization stays in the Stone Age.


barcastic_sasstard

Are you people, perhaps, from another planet?


xErth_x

Unless One of us push the space exploration technology and the other weapons technology


Buntisteve

Sounds like warhammer 30k.


ModernCavemanDiary

*nervous sideways glance - I don't know what your talking about


YeOleDirty

Accidental warhammer


Tricky-Wheel7977

murder them *faster*


ZEPHlROS

Seems about right


WaldenFont

It's what we do. We like it. We're good at it.


Barnezhilton

Bring a virus to spread too


Killer_Fang_Zero

For the Emperor! DEATH to all Xenos!


ModernCavemanDiary

Bless you


kobeekire

What if we only take their stuff and let them live. That sounds more BRITISH u know


rslash-_-noob

You mean colonize*


GenuineSteak

10/10 most human response. Its what weve been doing for the longest time


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hagrid2018

Send them Kanye


Idk_whats_real

That’s what we do to other humans on this planet so probably true


mrville502

George Bush is that you?


AlaskaDude14

Man I’ve seen tons of sci-fi movies from the 50-60s where aliens ARE humans/humanoid, they’re just wearing shiny clothing lol. So yes we’re plenty prepared


Orangesapples1163

They just forgot all about stargate. Had an entire movie and tv series preparing us for it


MustHaveEnergy

Isn't this one of the Ori preachers? Uhhh what were they called...


MathK1ng

I think this is from Prometheus, the Alien prequel. You are thinking of the Priors, who look similar.


Deltamon

Almost every alien in Star Trek or Stargate is just some variation of human


gizamo

Star Trek budgets were pretty low, and the newer movies are just rehashing the old material (awesomely, tho, tbf). In Stargate, the non-humanoid aliens were too advanced for the humanoid ones. So, they just didn't intervene much.


Amazon-Prime-package

Sci-fi television seems to indicate we can best prepare for space exploration by bringing lots of condoms


JamesTBagg

Settle down, Captain Kirk.


AlaskaDude14

Space bang


Run_Conscious

Stop it... We have enough BS on our planet already


Mrshio

Time for that blue pill


dorksided787

“Why would viagra solve anything?” *unzips pants* “Who said anything about solving problems?”


Double_Education_690

Cross breed , make weird human and human baby’s . Porn hub all videos would be titled. Human destroys alien humans black hole.


Tunnel_Estate

I had difficulty reading this.


ThisGuyOverHere12

I don’t know why I finished reading it


IdRatherNotNo

I don't know why I finished


explodingtuna

What are you doing, step-human?


Summerofsamsung

Dr. Daniel Jackson has been trying to prepare us for the idea of such.


Iveary

i watched the movie yesterday and just finished season 1 epi 4 before reading this post. it was fate


SirWhiskeySips

We just need to ascend!!


InteractionAfter7688

They took our jobs!


Any-Bar587

They would still technically be alien to us, even if they were exact human dna, they would still be aliens. If they visited us they'd be aliens, if we visit them we are aliens.


dirkdigdig

What if we meet in the middle? I’m sure there’s a coffee shop or McDonald’s halfway.


Any-Bar587

As long it's not a Starbucks. I guess then it would just be a blind date.


dirkdigdig

It’s not a date, we’re just intergalactic friends.


Any-Bar587

Did you just galatically friend zone me? Lol


dirkdigdig

No, you did it to yourself.


probablemayo

I have a girlfriend but you wouldn't know her. She comes from another galaxy.


JimmyJorland

No friendship. Just war. Space war


PachyBeans

Ok God-Emperor of Mankind, but what if their guns are bigger?


dirkdigdig

Make space war, not space love.


OneSyrup6907

Queue starwars intro music


FonkyChonkyMonky

So, build the space wall?


BeardPhile

What if their president is Demi Lovato and we visit them? We can’t be aliens then, right?


ResponsibilityMuch52

I hope they speak English🤼‍♀️


Legitimate-General20

Almost definitely not but there is a larger chance that they speak one that we use on earth but that's still a super small chance and they might communicate through some sort of sign language which would be the easiest way to link our launguages but all of this is just theoretical yet so fascinating


Gretff

I've always had thjs crazy idea that we are the aliens in this planet. Like one of those thoughts you I came up with after like 15 bongs.


Ambaxx

Time for me to clap outer space cheeks 🍑


Nearby-Tutor-9843

NOT. HOLD. UP. Edit: if you are also upset what is happening on r/HolUp report this https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/q8mzd4/rholdup_needs_reformation/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share let our voices be heard


The_Confirminator

I've been sitting here for 45 seconds trying to figure out the hold up, and I assumed there **must** be one given how many upvotes.


iReddat420

Sub's gone to shit


Allegorist

Yeah i stared for a while thinking i missed something. nope.


SirInternational964

This server is just filled with edited shit and chicks with dicks


MoarTacos

Wait, I must have missed the dick chicks.


KrombopulosDelphiki

This isn't discord


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OneAnxiousAuthor

Truth is, if humanity on Earth finds another humanity on another planet, it's because we all fucked up our respective planets and needed somewhere else to go.


CunningHamSlawedYou

Humanity, ~~the planet parasites of the universe~~ the locusts of space


Fabiojoose

No, an alien that’s not carbon like us, or that is an amorphous blob, or something so abstract that is hard for us to even conceive as a living being, that would be scary. Aliens that communicate triggering our pain neurons or that cause repulse just by looking at them. Insects usually cause repulse on us because they are built so different. Imagine something that triggers trypophobia just by being looked at, or something that have weird angles and [lovercraftian indescribable shapes](https://twitter.com/melip0ne/status/1120503955526750208?s=21). That would be scary and uncomfortable, but most important of all, that is probably what life outside of our blue ball should be.


OrangeTeaCup7

Stephen Hawking has a different take to this. Basically, since the laws of physics govern evolution, and the laws of physics are the same everywhere, aliens would likely be more familiar than weird. There would be a predator/pray dynamic, eyes to intercept light, ears to intercept sound, limbs for mobility. Evolution is naturally going to gravitate towards the most efficient and useful adaptations, and this is universal. Anything that's weird would also probably be inefficient, and therefore would die off and be overtaken by something else.


Possessed_Zombie

But chances are it would be carbon, and if its carbon, it'd probably look very similar to species on earth.


bananainmyminion

It would be cooler if it was Neanderthals or Davisons. They came up with a space program when the ice age started, because the earth was becoming unliveable.


Jovet_Hunter

Um. *psst* Denisovians.


Siqmadiqwmfkinkandym

>Um. psst Denisovians. *Denisovans


Blaize69

Well… the religious texts have some explaining to do.


HTC1830

Mormonism would say told you so.


Simple_Atmosphere

[I’m afraid it was the Mormons ](https://youtu.be/06AqbBj7M7Y)


HTC1830

Hahaha a classic.


dirkdigdig

Scientologist would be laughing


Jovet_Hunter

IDK, have you read the Book of Enoch? The Mahabharata?


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Chrisboi_da_Boi

We as a collective are absolutely not ready for contact with aliens. Half of the religious people would either refuse to believe it, riot in the streets, or kill themselves because it'd be proof that humanity isn't the focus of the universe they think was made for them by a god


Salty_Imagination_54

I'm pretty sure that the catholics and the orthodoxes would try and convert the aliens. Pope Francis even said he'd baptize greys. American protestants I'm not so sure about


Iupvotebutteredtoast

The religious already think aliens are demons. If we made actual contact with anything outside earth, they’d be written off as Satan’s minions immediately


GrandmasterGus7

On Christianity at least, The Roman Catholic Church would readily drop 2 mil to establish a holy order for the baptism and integration of xeno-christians into the Body of Christ: [https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/05/pope-francis-says-he-would-definitely-baptize-aliens-if-they-wanted-it/362106/](https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/05/pope-francis-says-he-would-definitely-baptize-aliens-if-they-wanted-it/362106/) My brethren in the Eastern Orthodox Church would bicker back and forth between Constantinople and Moscow for five years about whether they're demonic manifestations, higher animals, or fellow beings of human nature, attempt a failed Pan-Orthodox Council on a Greek island because we've been broke since 1453 and 1917 respectively, and because on a very related note we don't have an Emperor to convoke a proper ecumenical council, and then all our clergy in the presbyterate would silently peruse the Church Fathers and canon of Scripture and conclude that because the aliens don't scream when you bless them, surely they're not demonic. Anglicans would write a blog post and an accompanying tweet about how First Contact is a wonderful time for diversity and inclusion with very little of it having anything to do with God and the state of the Church in the wake of aliens being confirmed real. And the rare American Deepwater Pastor would start roaring at his congregation of waspy Alaboomers about how it's a sign of the end-times and that the aliens are merely government holograms.


TheGov18

No still aliens.


Mrshio

Like Mexicans ?


The_Mad_Duck_

We found the bluedditors


Real_Raw_2029

Fuck buddies?


CarelessMedium-angel

Where the holup?


Grimmbles

It's when you try to figure out why the fuck thousands of fucktards upvoted this.


dw4321

Lmao wish I could give you a award but I’m poor so have an appreciative comment. Yes.


ThatGuyMaulicious

Imagine we just discover a real life Galactic Empire. I've always imagined waking up one day seeing Star Destroyers in the sky and columns of Stormtroopers marching down streets.


BlOoDy_PsYcHo666

Damn, now we as earthlings can finally bond and find a common thought; being racist to these other earthlings


Somethingclever451

Im just imagining the spiderman meme of them pointing at each other


Vaporface

Nuke em


zertnert12

I do not think we are prepared to meet aliens, we cant even except our own cultural differences let alone those of a species completely different from us. Lets just remember, we developed alongside 4 other species of comparable intelligence, and we wiped them all out.


Xaviarsly

that's true we as humans are too immature, stupid, and naive to handle being around what a real adult is out there. it would end just like the space cash test did in south park.


dw4321

Pretty sure we interloped and bred with the Neanderthals and didn’t wipe them out.


BlackCatZack

Do the Cpt Kirk manouver. Fuck all the females!