T O P

Yes, that is true Icebreaker

Yes, that is true Icebreaker

properu

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/pseudo310/status/1433792325046710277) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)


comfort_bot_1962

:D


kultureisrandy

good bot


scroll_of_truth

Good bot


AvoidMySnipes

Wow this screenshot has been reposted so much the actual tweet has over 200k likes


PatacusX

Good bot. 10/10.


kultureisrandy

good bot


orbitalfatality2

good bot


ichbineinvietnamien

Anybody care to explain how this bot works ?


Sharpshooter98b

I love this bot


comfort_bot_1962

:D


Waarm

Good bot


livebeforeidie

Good bot


hipiticus

good bot


ProfEucalyptus

Good bot


MrIantoJones

Good bot


comfort_bot_1962

:D


BarryBigBuns

Good but


Kroto86

Where is the email?


jsideris

There isn't one.


TypeHeauxNegative

We call that safety reports. We have to imagine 5 ways we didn’t hurt ourself but could have. I have a mundane manufacturing job, my new hobby after week 3 is realizing the people that give me that task don’t read it. My last one was “not tucking myself in proper so the tree elves can’t get at my toes”. I’m on 3 years so fucking fired if they actually have a functional person to go ahead and read my brain child’s.


Baybob1

Some HR person probably implemented that program years ago to show initiative on their job performance report. They've since moved on but the automatic system churns them out. The new HR person couldn't give a damn about it.


michael_maybe44

I had difficulty reading this so I'd assume they just don't bother because of the literacy issues.


evilinsane

It was like a stroke were declared halfway through.


Cosmic_Kettle

"War were declared"


Geterdone000

What’s that alarm mean?


Effurlife13

"War were declared"


X1-Alpha

Someone set us up the bomb?


JustAnEvilKid

It makes perfect sense if you are high. Source: me


floridawastoomuch

Source: me too It made perfect sense to me until I started seeing people get confused. I read it again after seeing these comments, it still made sense to me. Now I'm not sure what I even read after the third line or so.


idontneedjug

I'm faded off edibles and first pass the last two sentences I still got the jist but my brain was like too many gaps to fill in the jist for. Read it again and was glad the tree elves didn't get his toes or his brainchild.


queer_pearl

Same.


TypeHeauxNegative

And finally Safely reports


joesixers

He's missing one coma, but other than that it is perfectly readable. Maybe you're the one with literacy issues?


hugglesthemerciless

> I’m on 3 years so fucking fired if they actually have a functional person to go ahead and read my brain child’s. Perfectly readable...


RegnansInExcelsis

Plot twist: the post was written by partially literate tree elves who did in fact get his toes and are now holding him hostage


joesixers

"I'm on 3 years, so fucking fired if they actually go ahead and read my brain childs" If you can't figure that out idk what to tell you


Drewbus

What's a brain childs?


GeneralGinsberg

An eccentric way to say thoughts? Maybe they meant children.


HowTheyGetcha

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/brainchild : a product of one's creative effort


Wandering_P0tat0

Yep, but they used the wrong plural.


Spidey_Pitt

I have no idea what the fuck youre saying lol


tiefling_sorceress

Every now and then OP is required to list 5 ways they could've hurt themselves but didn't. Eg: * Kept both hands clear of the hand maimining machine But no one actually reads OP's emails so they've been writing bullshit. They've been bullshitting for 3 years so if anyone actually went back and read what they wrote, they'd probably get fired.


Spidey_Pitt

Ohhh ok thank you, i have no idea how you understood that but thank you for clearing it up


angelcobra

When the edible hits halfway through your comment.


ProcrastinatorSkyler

Why is everyone being such a dick to you? I mean fuck I didn't see anything abhorrently wrong with your post but you're being thrown in the trash wtf?


HankBeMoody

It wouldn't get past an editor and be published; but for a random internet post it was more than intelligible. The people shitting on OP just like to feel superior...half of them probably failed a HS English essay same as I did.


KungFeuss

The word for them is called pedant. It’s a breed that can be found commonly on Reddit. Don’t confuse them with a troll, though pedantry is a tactic of a good one.


dragonspeeddraco

I like to assume it's a form of the Dunning–Kruger effect. I assume the higher your critical reading ability, the less sensical a particular sentence or paragraph has to be, because your brain can pick apart the pieces, individually understand each piece, and then bluff it's way through the rest to make it a legible thought, sort of like how you can understand misspelled words as long as certain key bits of the word are correct, even to absurd degrees. At the other end of this spectrum, the worse your critical reading/thinking is, the more disruptive minor mistakes become to your brain. This could lead to people assuming that if they cannot understand someone else, then that someone else must be less intelligent than they are because they don't make sense to them. Or I'm just a fucking moron, trapped by my own Dunning–Kruger.


hugglesthemerciless

You seriously saw nothing wrong with their last sentence?


dickdemodickmarcinko

Yeah fr what the hell is wrong with people in this sub


AhNeem

It's not just this sub either.


DecafLatte

Capitalism.


Eswyft

Read it again. I didn't say anything to the person, but they may have a literacy disability


KungFeuss

I was thinking most of y’all actually have comprehension disabilities.


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hugglesthemerciless

Overreact much lmao


Eswyft

A typo? What single word being changed there makes that sensical? You need to relax, I'm explaining something and you're deciding I'm a piece of shit based on that? I'm saying they may have literacy issues. It's possible. Maybe they don't. From that very brief snippet that could be dyslexia. Try to remember there are real people on the other side of the keyboard. This type of discourse is unecessary, not helpful. It poisons your mind more than it does anything to the person you're going off on. Just take a breath. ​ anykey.org


Drewbus

I'm just happy this fight isn't about covid


HowTheyGetcha

Jumping right to "literacy disability" is condescending af, so I'll return the energy: the ability to parse imperfect sentences is a skill, and you suck terribly at it. >I’m on 3 years so fucking fired if they actually have a functional person to go ahead and read my brain child’s. "I'm on 3 years [of doing this], COMMA, THEREFORE so fucking fired if they actually have a functional person read my brainchildren." Does this help you or should I hire a literary scholar?


LurkingLeprechaun

If they've been doing it for 3 years it's not exactly a new hobby so I'm not sure this interpretation is correct.


HowTheyGetcha

100%. It was a new hobby "after week 3". Now he's going on 3 years. He's not exactly a wordsmith but his meaning is clear.


Lo-siento-juan

It's so weird people are having trouble with this, it's not even an egregious example of colloquial construction - if they can't parse this then most the great works of literature must be totally incomprehensible to them, truly a failure of the education system.


[deleted]

I mean after reading this post I probably wouldn’t read another post from you either so I’m sure they still read your more literate coworkers


tupacsnoducket

he's missing one comma to make that readable in one pass, calm down cummieboi69


noodlesquad

OC's last sentence is really what makes this hurt reader's heads. It has a typo "fired" should be "fried" I think. Probably missing a comma or two like you said. And also the last part "brain child's"...no idea what that was supposed to mean


Verdudas

He is referring to his writings as brain children. Aka "children of his brain"


lminer123

Have these people just never heard that expression?


Verdudas

I guess. People don't say it much these days.


floridawastoomuch

People don't read much these days.


Lo-siento-juan

Should be 'fried'? As in cooked in oil? As opposed to what he wrote 'fired' as in to lose one's job? Have I gone mental or are you pulling my leg? Why would you think that?


JoyJones15

How much fuckin ice is there in that company


Tar_alcaran

I've seen companies do daily stand-ups with the worst icebreakers. It's especially wild to drop in as an external person, and just get asked "can you tell us about your parents for our icebreaker?"... Uh, no I won't, because that's private?


HallucinatesPenguins

I work at a local restaurant, at some point someone added a quote of the day box on it that we switched out every day until recently when we've left a Karl Marx quote up for about a week so far.


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RedTailed-Hawkeye

Care to expound on your argument of "Marxism is trash" or is shouting your opinion all that is needed to convince us?


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zhico

Because you live in a Plutocracy.


billyggoorman82

Marxism yes - socialism no


_Einherjar_

The only good Commie is a dead one.


sitdeepstandtall

I’m not sure that’s a Marx quote, but I’m no expert.


BKlounge93

Why does a belief in an economic system constitute death lol


Aggressive-W

Because said economic system always has lead to mass death.


SoFisticate

Ya unlike capitalism which leads to utopia


BKlounge93

That’s like saying anyone who wants a gun should die because guns lead to death lol it’s not that simple


KevinCMD

No, it hasn't. Communism hasn't really killed anyone. Certain communist leaders have certainly killed people, like Pol Pot for example, but that isn't required for Communism, and is unrelated. Almost any leftist you talk to dislikes Pol Pot just as liberals do. However, many reactionaries try to make people such as Stalin, Castro, Mao, etc. Seem as though they personally killed tens of millions when in reality, most of that is made up bullshit.


ArginatorBongo

The only good capitalist is a dead one Huh??? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?


SoFisticate

You misspelled fascist.


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Josselin17

there is no human nature, most people are neither greedy nor corrupt, corruption is merely the result of accumulation of power and greed only flourishes because our society rewards it because we currently live under capitalism doesn't mean it's meant to stay that way don't be a doomer, communism will win


badchecker

Don't be a Doomer, Start a rumor, buy a broom Or send a death threat to a boomer Or DM a girl and groom her Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your Here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom Here's why women never fuck you Here's how you can build a bomb Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids....


Josselin17

wut ?


badchecker

https://youtu.be/k1BneeJTDcU


Josselin17

well I love it lol thanks


badchecker

I love that you love it. Thank you for asking.


[deleted]

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banjist

Capitalism is not commerce. It is its own thing. It is not innate to human nature and has not shown up like universally through human history. That's exchange and commerce. Not capitalism. That's just what the capitalists that were in charge of your economics education told you.


BurgleBanquet

Are you someone who thinks that all markets are capitalism?


StarBlazingSpaceWolf

Most people are selfish and will do whatever they need to to look out for themselves. If you don't believe this, you're just naive.


CU_Beaux

Lots of folks in the comments who fail to realize they aren't being fully compensated for the labor they provide to their corporate overlords who exploit them for a hefty profit.


Pyroteche

And then some idiots respond with dumb shit like small businesses exist too. Yes I'm aware small businesses exist but that's not what I'm talking about right now


ITriedLightningTendr

And small businesses are actually more likely to exploit their workers.


strang3daysind33d

I feel exploited at a small business


AgCat1340

How so?


Batman_Biggins

Wage theft, unpaid overtime, deliberately understaffing and expecting the underpaid staff to do twice or three times the work to pick up the slack, etc. Big companies often see these methods of exploitation as more liability than they're worth. Not that they don't happen, but huge corporations don't need to cut costs quite as ruthlessly as small businesses. They have a much larger pool of labour from which to extract profit.


pippinto

Besides, you're kidding yourself if you don't think most small business owners are also exploiting their employees for personal gain.


Jagdhunde

Thank you for being sensible, since 1700s people lost their minds and forgot about what their labours actually worth. Majority of people think a world in which a starbucks barista earning minimum wage is normal nowadays. That barista's labour creates thousands of dollars worth of profit for company but company only gives %0.01 back to that barista. Shit is fucked and people really do think this is normal.


phailhaus

>That barista's labour creates thousands of dollars worth of profit for company but company only gives %0.01 back ...where did you get these numbers from? Are you saying that the barista making the drinks is somehow also responsible for the sourcing of the beans, ingredients, the building, the furniture, and the machines they used? They purchased none of those. If the espresso machine breaks or the milk runs out, they don't have to pay for anything.


SpaceAndAlsoTime

Profit = stolen wages


Wompguinea

I'm in a new Software role that pays $75 an hour, holy shit, right? But I recently saw a client invoice that had some of my work on it and my time is being billed at $350 an hour. Even when you get paid a lot you're being underpaid for your labour.


Goons_Forever

Better than being even more badly compensated by a communist regime like the Soviet Union.


pzyhdu6

ITT: lots of people missing the fucking point


AbandonedArts

Isn't that every thread?


marcoroman3

What is the point?


choochoobubs

FUCK CAPITALISM


Mr_Wither

You see… Capitalism WOULD work… if everyone was paid what they deserve and the rich weren’t allowed so much power over literally everything.


squngy

And if monopolies could be avoided in a fair and consistent way and if IP laws were just the correct amount of limiting and liberal and if environmental effects had a clear monitary value so they could be calculated in profits and losses of companies and and and


dw4321

Thank you. People act like reform is possible at this point, but they would need basically a whole new government with the rewriting of hundreds of laws. There’s no way the democrats will get enough support to pass anything and the republicans are hell bent on destroying the country. Lots of the politicians are bought anyway so good luck trying to reach them about your issues. They love money more than Americans. Honestly the only option is to form a new government, one that puts the workers at the forefront instead of the wealthy. That is one of the major goals my movement is aiming to achieve, and we would gladly welcome anyone willing to join, as every man, woman, and child, can help tackle this threat that faces the majority of Americans. If you are interested please check out r/CitizensUnitedUSA


hehehexd13

Damn, hearing those things and realize it’s true, it’s devastating. Will we ever leave aside our differences and start thinking as a specie not as individuals, so we can built together a better future? wish you the best of lucks with that proyect and, could I participate being from Europe? It’s just for Americans right?


anallist9000

Capitalism works quite perfectly in most parts of modern Europe. We just understand that regulating capitalism is not the same as dismantling it


[deleted]

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anallist9000

This argument has been debunked multiple times over and over and I'm genuinely tired of reading this flatearther tier trash. Crazy how people don't see how it's literally a **baseless assumption/speculation** Capitalism empowers the worker just as much as the employer, an American or someone who drinks US media koolaid does not understand this > you still need slave labour to make phones I personally don't, but the world has devolved into wealth hoarding for billionaires that are convinced they do. Also, that slave labour you cry about makes more than 40% of **all consumer electronics sold worldwide**. Before talking about phones, think about kettles, toasters, shaving machines, etc, etc, all made by the same "slaves", just for your convenience. American capitalism is broken capitalism


epistemological_cat

Uhhh....you kind of proved their point though. Demand for consumer electronics exists largely in capitalist countries. Including European countries. On top of that the wealth hoarding you decry is a feature of western economies that Europe also employs. This was something studied in FRANCE which I'm pretty sure is still part of Europe. I'll agree Europe has done much better with a shit ideology, but it's still a shit ideology.


anallist9000

Name countries that you think have no demand for consumer electronics. My point about weapth hoarding was not region specific Capitalism is not an ideology.


average_hight_midget

You said that ‘this argument has been debunked’, what argument were debunking and what exactly was your point. The point you were replying to is that capitalism is inherently exploitative. In order for one group to prosper, another must be subjugated and exploited. So just because the capitalism ‘is done right and works’ in those European countries, it still relies on the exploration of the global south through resource extraction with slave labour, underdevelopment and unfair trade. Do you disagree with that?


badchecker

Exactly. Give me reasonably regulated capitalism and it's fine. Give me Elizabeth Warren. Not no-steppy snake dumbfuckery.


laz10

Not really capitalism if people can't accumulate vast amounts of capital


jvalordv

Capitalism can exist on a continuum. There's capitalism with guardrails like in Europe, and then largely laissez-faire capitalism like in the US that has led to worse income inequality than what prompted the French revolution: https://qz.com/1031013/two-centuries-later-researchers-say-the-french-revolution-was-an-act-of-radical-privatization/ Unsurprisingly, income inequality is inversely correlated to social mobility: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_mobility#Patterns_of_mobility


diepio2uu

Very based coworker


PorchandTitchforks

Stuff like this makes me really uncomfortable. The past couple of months my company has been having huge company wide meetings and having random people present stuff like projects they have been working on. At the beginning of each person’s part they start off with a slide about themselves that usually includes how much they love their families and a bunch of pictures of their hobbies and whatnot. As a single man in their late 20s it terrifies me to possibly one day have to come up with some bullshit like that. I have no life and really I’m fine with that. I have no interest in telling a video call full of hundreds of people I sleep and play video games and occasionally to some outdoorsy thing. And I definitely don’t have pictures of any of that because I don’t care. I really don’t like when companies make you do stuff like that and I hope they realise that there are people that have no interest in sharing that kind of stuff about their life. I enjoy in engaging with my coworkers and letting them in on my life as our relationship develops. I have no interest in sharing personal details about myself to people I have never met and do not care to meet.


TheSagaContinued

Me. I am coworker.


CHAiN76

And that was how Project Icebreaker came to an abrupt end.


FutureDeadAlcoholic

So many redditors still gaslit into loving capitalism lmao


SuccessfulAside5282

I’m always intrigued to hear what these peoples alternative is. “So I wake up, I have a job but don’t actually have to go, or do anything. It’s great”. It’s like people expect to have jobs and not have to do anything


Gewber76

Everyday I wake up and think about strangers being oppressed equally


duskull007

Labor in the coal mines or be sent to gulag, comrade


MemoryGloryHole

Labor in the Amazon Fulfillment Centre or become homeless and get jailed for living on public property


AudexStep

Just a reminder that U.S. Incarceration rates have been comparable to those during the high points of the Soviet Gulag era.


billyggoorman82

Socialism isn’t marxism. Marxism isn’t even Marxism - his friend finished his thoughts and tried to justify things. The whole of communism is really not even close to what Marx most likely envisioned. Stop pushing this drivel


HeckinSpoopy

Ah yes, because the only alternative is totalitarianism. /s


Scrotchticles

Communism is totalitarianism and no don't ask me to explain what communism is.


HeckinSpoopy

Communism is a subset of socialism, and there's quite the variety of systems you could use within socialism (ranging from highly authoritarian to highly decentralised), so it's not healthy to say that communism is THE alternative when there's so many other options.


Zombie_Hyperdrive

There are hunter-gatherers that still exist today who are functionally anarcho-Communists. Whether or not that is scalable is one thing, but people thinking Communism is inherently totalitarian are morons.


Scrotchticles

Socialism is authoritarian and no don't ask me to explain what Socialism is.


dadkisser

If joking, upvote. If serious, downvote.


Scrotchticles

It's obviously a joke.


HeckinSpoopy

Right, sorry. It's hard to tell who's serious and who's not, especially with that kind of rhetoric that's all too common nowadays.


gender_is_a_spook

To be clear, this person is a leftist based on their post history, they're speaking sarcastically. Imagine they put an /s at the end of this and stop downvoting


Scrotchticles

I don't understand how people missed the sarcasm in my post lmao. Imagine taking a crazy stance like this and then refusing to elaborate on it, it's obvious I was joking I thought.


SeanMcA

reddit moment


Scrotchticles

?


Cowshatesheep

Based


Meff-Jills

Awesome!


intensely_human

“My emotions are caused by external events”


BostonDrivingIsWorse

Ummm, yes?


BurgleBanquet

Yes


LeCandyman

Well yes they really are tho. Are you implying that our environment doesn't have a major impact on our psyche.


przemko271

r/solipsism moment


emotionalsupporttank

r/thahappened


55S55555555555555555

*Stop blaming your poor life choices on Capitalism.*


FoodieGuy007

Agreed


bumbleblast

Compared to laboring in a communist society where you’ll get sent to the gulag if you don’t work?


bumbleblast

That’s the shit you’d hear an edgy 15 year old say lmao, tell him to cope


MildMischief80

Simple solution, fire him.


skylercollins

I'd prefer laboring under capitalism to laboring under communism/socialism/fascism. As I will allow him that choice, will he allow me?


Hochseeflotte

In what universe do communism/socialism have anything to do with fascism? You have quite a poor understanding of those ideologies if you think they are similar in anyway. Communists believe in the abolition of currency, the state, and class. Fascists most certainly do not. They are the definition of pro-state.


Liiht2001

You do realise it they didn't say anything about forcibly changing the system? Like you just made up some random position from a single sentence.


zinosaurus

Who’s to say you’d have less choice under socialism/communism? Also nice job grouping fascism together with those.


KeyCollection6171

Hopefully the idiot won’t be laboring under capitalism much longer. Then they can be “furious” for living under a bridge. Hahaha


thezombiekiller14

Maybe we deserve more choices than work a job you hate or live under a bridge


Cowshatesheep

Then work a job you enjoy? It’s almost like you have the freedom to do so! Crazy how that works


_Einherjar_

Far better than laboring under communism.


BurgleBanquet

Prove it


pato1908

Open up literally any history book


BurgleBanquet

Ok, I've opened up "The Nazis, Capitalism, And The Working Class," by Donny Gluckstein, an analysis of how capitalism led to the holocaust and the violent dedtruction of socialist opposition to fascism in the 1920s opened the door to the hitler. Thanks for the advice!


KevinCMD

Um... no? Under socialism you would be paid the full value of your labor (as opposed to a leech taking most of it) and you wouldn't be working 40 hours per week, and you would never be at risk of anything like homelessness or hunger if you lost your job.


ragingwizard

I don't think socialism is what you think it is.


billyggoorman82

Socialism isn’t even remotely marxist communism - hell marxism isn’t even what Marx wanted - his friend finished and tried justifying his very early and justifiable world views. Socialism is largely American in nature - a republic propping up itself as best it can. Socialism is not marxism and the knee jerk slam to bring up hammer and sickle bad hur dur comments doesn’t prove crap


serpentjaguar

Agreed, but I don't think anyone is actually suggesting that.


LonesomeFvgitive

My manager’s uncle was in the gulag and they made him cart ice with a hook 12 hours a day. That’s an icebreaker for you.


JRD230

That is one of the most horrible things I’ve ever heard. Please stop laboring for the capitalist pigs. Hurry take their money, use it to escape to China, where you can labor for the good of all people!


That_Guy_From_KY

Then don’t. The Amish have made a nice quaint life for themselves outside of our corporatist (not so much capitalist) society. But people don’t want to give up the iPhones and Netflix.


temperedJimascus

I hear Venezuela is nice this time of year...


steve_splash

“I’d rather be laboring under socialism and be even more poor”


lastherokiller

Works at a company not in heavy labor service industry and still has the gall to complain in the wrong place for attention. Just get a different job and quit being a little b****. Go work construction where they don't have an email chain and see how you do. I mean really what do you people think is an alternative here ridiculous.


therealrenshai

I honestly can’t tell who you’re mad at. Tell me more.


adis296

r/thathappened


ClassicCarJunkie

Because he would be happy to be laboring under communism. Where you work the same or more and the government tells you what you can have.


[deleted]

Lmao. Because under socialism they would have everything provided for them while they, I dunno, painted bananas as a hobby? Lol. Off to the via mines or gulag is more like it. And if you fall in line, enjoy your block housing with no running water.


Bad_RabbitS

Yes I’m sure that’s exactly what would happen if we raised wages and increased taxes on millionaires/billionaires. “Ah shit guys, a gulag just *showed up*, we’re fucked”


la_1099

Cool that would still be capitalism tho


inksonpapers

Only stupid red pillers actually believe thats what socialists want, seems like you’re one.


TennesseeTon

You should probably look up the definitions of socialism and communism, because you obviously don't know what they are. Look up capitalism while you're at it, I'll bet you probably don't understand that either.


The_Fustilarian

The USSR isn't the socialist ideal, just as the USA isn't the capitalist one.


Zarokima

And the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is not a model for democratic republics.


PossessionMoney

Yeah, It sucks and all, but under communism, you’d work more AND probably not get paid for it. Plus you’d better hope you have someone else in the household that isn’t working that can go stand in line for food, or else you’re probably going to starve. Which you might do anyway, in addition to working your ass off, just like the Ukrainians in the Holodomor.


More_Past_1002

i think this is a commie sub


123Ark321

Well at least he’s not starving under communism.