By - morningperzon
Don't put yourself in ridiculous amounts of debt trying to portray a certain image. You'll spend your entire life trying to get out of the hole you dug or you'll have to declare bankruptcy.
Set aside enough money to cover 3-6 months of expenses for emergencies just like now. Moreover, save now for your retirement years. It doesn't require much and if you have it taken directly from your paycheck you won't be inclined to not pay yourself first.
Take care of your body. Exercise to maintain a healthy weight and good cardiovascular health. As you get older, it's much harder to maintain these.
Enjoy the days of your youth without going overboard. There is nothing wrong with having a good time, yet if you are always waking up wondering what happened last night, why you can't remember how you spent so much money or you always have a hangover; you should tone it down a bit.
Don't take advice or criticism as a personal attack. Most times the people who care about you have observed behavior in you which is off putting, doesn't reflect who you really are or could be or would make you a more rounded person.
>Set aside enough money to cover 3-6 months of expenses
I always lived by this but it's so hard right now, so I would add that don't feel so bad if you're just scraping by right now no matter how hard you try, because that's just how it is at the moment :/
I’m not in my 40’s yet but I’m glad someone said this and want to add that one way to “save for retirement” indirectly is to invest in your earning potential. Learn a skill, start a business, network, build something… I used my 20’s to restore a house that is now worth a lot more and I went to grad school. Both have helped me feel more comfortable in my 30’s but it did mean sacrificing a lot of fun time that my peers were using to drink, travel, party… I traveled too but within my means.
Yes to retirement right away. At 18 my work offered to match up to 4% of my paycheck. My older coworkers said to put in my 4% right away as it's guaranteed double money. My at almost 40 that compound intrest is really kicking in and I'll have a sizeable nest egg when I retire at 60. Nobody ever regrets investing too early in life.
Your 20s willost likely be difficult financially as you figure life out and buy all the stuff you need but the 30s get easier. It may seem rough early on and you'll want to take that extra few bucks you invest but in the long run you come out ahead.
On a different note if I knew better and could afford it, buying a duplex and living in one side and renting the other would be a great way to start. I know a few people who dabble in real estate and they've slowly but passive income
I'm going to post this b/c I know someone young is struggling w/ addiction rn.
Don't waste your life. Don't wake up at 39 and let that shit hit you like a ton of bricks that you've pissed away half of your life on drugs.
> make it a book of poems.
You can also go the dirty limericks route
There once was a man from space,
Who woke with egg on his face,
He wanted to joke,
About the white or the yolk,
But never thought that far ahead.
A mathematician named Hall
Had an octo-hexagonal ball
The cube of its weight
Times its square root, plus eight
Was four fifths of three ninths of fuck all
There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made out of brass
When in stormy weather,
They'd be clanking together,
And lightning would come out his ass.
I turned 20 realizing this was my problem
Dude, I’m 15 and feel the same
Shit that’s honestly beautiful. Thank you
This was beautiful advice. Thank you kind sir / mam
This sounded nice and flowery but I have no idea what it means.
Don’t get so caught up in what you thought your life should look like. Enjoy the ride. Go with the twists and turns of life. When you’re in your 20’s you might have an idea of what you want life to look like at 40. Some people are so focused on staying on that specific path that they miss other opportunities in life because it wasn’t what they planned. Relax. Breathe. It’s ok to change your mind. That’s not failure. That’s deciding to try something new.
You don't have to have it all plotted out in advance. It's ok to just enjoy the presence for what it is, perpetually. With, sure, a dose of planning ahead. I've heard a variation of this quote...you're not the director of a movie. You are acquiring a book of poems (experiences).
I definitely struggle with this. I’m always like, “wait, how does it all fit together again?!”
Don't let yourself get out of shape.
If you're addicted to nicotine, stop. If not, don't ever start.
VERY few companies out there will ever give a shit about you. You should never feel any loyalty to them.
Ask him/her/them out. Worst case you get a "No".
Life isn't a competition, no one wins and no one gets out alive. Be happy as much as possible.
brush your teeth
25 m yes i wish i could punch My 13 year old ass into doing it more
Just don’t punch yourself in the mouth….you know, with the bad teeth and all.
Stretch. Start stretching. Do yoga. Keep stretching. Never get out of the habit. You don't have to be in the best shape to be happy, but stretching makes everything feel better, keeps it feeling good, and means that when you inevitably hurt yourself at some point in the future it's easier to recover.
You may feel invincible now. Every person in their 20s does. And then you hit 30. And you start noticing things like it hurts when you jump down the last two stairs instead of walking down them, or when you wake up, or just, from existing. In my 40s now, and I'm still doing just fine, and find my daily yoga practice matters more than any other exercise I've ever done.
Stretching and mobility. Are the secret
Take care of your teeth
Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you
Ghost your shitty friends. They are as much of a liability to your health and future as any other malicious factors in your life right now.
And if you have to ask if they're a shitty friend, they are a shitty friend. Ghost them. Now.
For the very first time in my life I just stopped responding to a friend and it’s been amazing. I’ve always been the person who tries to make things work with everyone and I give 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc. chances, but I finally have become so busy that I literally HAD to just drop the friendship and I’ve never looked back
A thousand times yes! They are not real friends they are parasites!!
Get to know your parents as people. Ask them all about their early lives and about their parents and other relatives. Write these things down if you can.
Before you know it, they will be gone, either physically or mentally and there will be so many things you want to know.
Both my parents were gone by the time I turned 21 and I regret this every day. Now that I’m in my mid 20s I realise that they were just people like me who made questionable choices, and I’d do anything to be able to sit them down for dinner once more and have a nice conversation as adults.
Needs more upvotes
It’s OK for your job to be your job and not your passion.
People would kill to look 20 again, so stop being so self conscious about your looks
Don't waste your friendships. Get in shape, and stay in shape. If you don't know *what* your passion is, your job is to find out what your passion is. Then work in that direction.
I'm 46. I was a touring musician for 15 years (up until I was 40), dirt broke, worked in bars when I was home - lived hand to mouth. Would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm a family guy now, with a normal job, but I'll never have a mid life crisis.
> I'm 46. I was a touring musician for 15 years (up until I was 40), dirt broke, worked in bars when I was home - lived hand to mouth. Would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm a family guy now, with a normal job, but I'll never have a mid life crisis.
40 and full mid-life crisis here. Divorced, gave up alcohol and started running again. Calisthenics, rock climbing, paddleboarding, and whatever else seems like fun. Somehow ended up with an amazing 14 year-old who actually enjoys doing things together and a job I really like.
I have lived a couple different lives too, and it's like you said...I wouldn't trade any of it because it got me here. I think it can take time to figure yourself out and what you need might change as you get older.
Edit: Oh, and I would second all the advice. You don't have to go full fitness nut just to be healthy. Even a little bit of core work to help stave off back issues can help. And trying to be aware of what makes you happy. It can take a long time to find and it may change, but it's a lot harder to find if you're not actively looking.
Sounds like you're on a good run buddy
I'm 57 and enjoying my 2nd midlife crisis now. When I was in my late 30s, recently divorced, I decided I wanted a motorcycle. I was into that for a good 10 to 15 years, even to the point I was offering safety trainings and motorcycle license prep help. But in the past 8 or 9 years, I find myself riding less and less, to the point that I'm seriously considering selling my bike now. (My wife doesn't ride, and she's never really happy when I decide to go for a ride, fearing that I'll get hurt...)
Nearly 4 years ago, I decided to get into music. I bought myself a bass guitar (Fender Player Series Precision), all the accessories (amp, etc.) and signed up for lessons with a local music teacher. Now, nearly 4 years later, I'm playing in 2 bands - one is just a jam session with a guitarist most every Sunday, and the other one is a lot better organized, with a singer, 2 guitars, drummer and the goal to play our first gig before the end of this year (all the other musicians in the band have a ton of stage and gigging experience - I'm the oldest one in the band, but also the newbie).
I sometimes wish I had made the decision to start playing bass back when I was in high school and my friends were forming bands. I missed out on about 40 years of what could have been some wild adventures.
Someone presents any consistent hassle in your life? cut them off. I’ve had tonnes of friends and no friends. I am much happier when it is just me and my partner doing what we do. The more people in life the more complicated. Not that I an anti new people, just for me to actually class you as a friend and let you into my life fully, I actually want to know your character properly. You will waste too much time arguing about pathetic things and trying to work around other people otherwise.
45 YO here. Did most of these myself and have a pretty good life right now:
* Eat right and exercise. You can get away with not doing it right now, but you'll regret it later.
* Live frugally, save money, and invest. Pay off debt if you have it. Don't overspend, especially on impulse, or trying to impress people.
* Make yourself marketable, a college degree is nice, but be ready to work and prove you can get the job done. Way too many useless bullshitters getting by on political games in the corporate world.
* Never give out personal loans
* If you do get married, marry a good person who wants to be a life partner. Life has its ups and downs and you'll need a true life partner for the bad times.
* People usually divorce for three reasons: Money, Sex, and Kids. Make sure you're on the same page before committing.
The 5th point is soo true! As someone who is married it is soo imperative to find someone that wants to do life with you and together. Life gets hard and sometimes out of nowhere it gets hard (sicknesses, death, job loss etc.) the kind of partner you have will either make or break it. Pick a good life partner! I’m thankful I did, but I’ve since instances with my friends where it was clear they married someone who did not understand what marriage was and bailed at the first sign of hardship .
oh and don't invest into crypto
Enjoy your youth.
I’m about to turn 30. My 20’s sucked so much. Worst decade.
Hopefully your 30s are better.
I'm 44 now I wouldn't ever want to be 20 again. 30s were good. 40s are great so far. When people get nostalgic about youth they're forgetting the hard parts.
Well, I have good news for you. The 30's are awesome! A lot of the pressure of the 20's goes away, and you can just...be who you are. 30 is when I think my life actually started. I met my husband, got my license, got a job that actually pays my bills, and figured out who I am. I am 43 now and it's a pretty darn good life, even if I am working on a career change.
I loved/lived my 20's. Those memories make me smile to this day.
In my 20's I traveled the world and I haven't stopped. It's important to build things for your future, but you have to stop and enjoy life as well.
How do you travel or how do you have enough money to travel
Drink at home. It's cheaper and you don't run the risk of a DUI.
Or at a place you can spend the night easily, like a good friends house.
Yep to both of those and also, if you do drive somewhere, resist the urge to drive home out of convenience. Even if it’s a short drive. Walk, take Uber, call someone, anything other than drive. Figure out how to get your car back later. Never drive!
One summer in university, there was a group of 15 of us that had a group chat called the BatCall, where if we wanted to drink we post the address in the chat and anyone in the chat was welcome to come. Every place had a "Key Bowl" where if someone drove, they put their keys in the bowl and leave their car parked overnight. No one was allowed to take their keys out of the bowl. No one tried to. It was great.
Yo! I'm at my friend's place after drinkings and checkin reddith befour going to sleel and I approre tqhis.
Edit: Typo, I was really drunk last night.
My preferred way to drink.
I saw a public prosecutor on Reddit recently answer the question “What is the easiest way for someone to ruin their own life” with “drink and drive”. IIRC their argument was that drinking and driving is a lot more socially acceptable than most of the things in the world that will ruin your life. But it could literally kill a child, kill you, kill a whole family. So much worse than just ruin your life. And it’s easy to do and many people do it.
I lost my licence on an e-scooter, just over the limit. I was a professional driver.. not anymore.
In my 30s, we do this now. Definitely money saver and no risk of DUI.
Life is short, enjoy! You may have a day or 50 years left, no one knows. Don't put things off for "your golden years".
Avoid debt as much as possible. Travel, do road trips, see the world, get out of your comfort zone.
Don't take your parents for granted, I promise they are smarter than you think
Don't be afraid to change jobs. Change can be scary but always grow.
Don't smoke cigarettes.
You don't need to excel, average can be extremely fullfilling.
Aspire to be happy with little achievements.
Failures can open many unexpected windows.
Some of what you read online about how much harder it is today to do [x] is true. But don’t give up. You absolutely can succeed.
I’m 43. I know people in their 20s and early 30s doing very well.
Don’t get fat. Losing weight is a brutal fight. It’s mentally draining.
It's easier to stay in shape than to get in shape
I'm 81 and I really can't distill it down to one thing so here goes:
- Be yourself. Stop trying to live up to others' expectations and do your own thing.
- Get moving! Whether it's bike riding or walking or a gym membership. Just move.
- Eat healthy! Yes, those fast food fries and burgers are easy - but - you will pay for that some time in the future. Start eating healthy so it becomes a habit.
- Be kind to people. If everyone did this, imagine what a world we would live in!
- Become politically active. Support honest, progressive candidates in whatever way you can. And VOTE! Fucking VOTE!
Hugs from Gma.
Someone actually put out some advice instead of just get a job and be happy
I am always dismayed when someone posts a question or something that should instigate a discussion and it turns to quoting The Simpsons or some other tv show and seeing who can make the funniest joke. Glad I could actually contribute!
You sound like a really lovely person and thank you for this advice, it sounds very solid.
Wow! Thank you so much!
Do not stick your dick in crazy
Work hard, but also have fun. That huge paycheck probably isn't worth it, unless you're super materialistic. Having a brand new tesla or a luxury condo is fun for a month, having good friends and balanced life is fun for a lifetime.
1.Don’t waste money
2.Nobody owes you anything
3.Nothing is free
4. Be polite to the janitor their job is shitty enough
Take better care of your body, especially your back.
I turn 55 tomorrow.
Stay slim and trim. Also lift weights. Even if not for bulk just to tone and strengthen muscles.
Stay out of debt. Pay off your house. Save for retirement.
Retire early so you can still enjoy what life you have left.
It's never too late to start a new career. Do what you love!
Make your mistakes on someone else’s dime and then do it yourself for yourself.
A well defined problem is half the solution.
Save 15% of your income no matter what and invest in the SP500. You will retire well.
Do not accumulate debt. Pay everything off quickly. If you need to borrow for anything other than education and housing, you cannot afford it.
Be a Giver and marry a Giver and you will be happy til the day you die.
>A well defined problem is half the solution.
That is my favorite quote from this whole thread. I can think of a ton of places at work and at home in which this is true.
Add car to the borrow list. You can’t buy any decent used car today without a car payment. If you can afford to pay in cash for a decent used car, then you’re doing well enough financially that you don’t need financial advice from internet strangers.
Save. If your job offers a 401k, take advantage of that. If not, open a savings account and put something in it every pay. Even if you can only afford to put in 5 bucks, it still adds up.
Don't be afraid to do things by yourself. Go to that show, see the movie, take a day trip. Don't miss out on opportunities because no one will go with you.
Don't think that just because you've been with your partner for so many years you can't start over/you'll never meet anyone/no one will want you. Instead look at it as not wasting your time on someone who doesn't deserve it.
Take care of your teeth. It is so expensive to get them fixed. And if you let it go too long it'll fuck up your health.
I came here to say open a Roth IRA. Roth IRAs tax the contributions at the time the contributions are made. Traditional IRAs tax the money upon withdrawal. With a Roth IRA, the withdrawals won’t be taxed.
Seconded. Save, and invest in some kind of broad based index fund.
Don't give a fuck what people think of you. Just be authentic.
My advice is to qualify this: there are times when you are not the star of the show, and you don't need to make a big drama out of every little thing that doesn't happen as you expect them to.
Everything about high school was all made up and the points don't matter.
As general advice that everyone will ignore and then shake their fist at themselves for not listening to later: Don't get in over your head on debt. It will haunt you for a long time. I didn't listen to it, you probably wont either but I warned you. Remember this moment when you think it wont happen to you.
Second piece of advice, if you're going to join the military pick the Air Force or Navy so you'll get actual applicable skills to the real world and wont die.
Don't take it all so seriously, personally. Read Vonnegut. "We were put on this planet to fart around."
Do not, my friends, become addicted to soda pop. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!
I’m gonna be cheeky and answer tho I’m a bit too young
- if you feel scared of a family member or partner, listen to that feeling and find someone safe you can talk about it with
- making friends is increasingly awkward as you get older but push through it because other people are wonderful and worth it
- setting boundaries with people is a kind thing to do. For them and you. Some boundaries are obvious and should never be crossed, but many social boundaries can be hard to totally predict. And how other people react to you telling them your limits is a big test of whether or not you can trust them
- if you stretch your calves, hamstrings and piriformis muscles most days (easy to find stretches for these on YouTube) it will help with back pain and might make it go away
We eat 2x 20 year olds a day, just to stay alive.
Start working out.
The motivation for starting is the problem. Once you do it for a few weeks, it'll become routine. I guess there's no problem after that.
Don’t commit to working out. Commit to putting on workout clothes every day. It’s okay to put on the clothes and not work out. But put on the clothes before you decide not to work out.
Eh, I never liked that move. Just commit to doing *something*. Even if it's 5 minutes, just get your body moving a bit and next time it'll be a little easier.
Go to the doctor and to the dentist regularly
Slow down. Actively listen to people in your life. This is a tough skill and I still struggle. It's particularly hard when you "don't know what you don't know". try not to think of the next thing you want to say. But listen, ask questions if you don't understand their concern/statement. People have some wisdom. Hardest part is how to hear it then decide if it's applicable/good for you.
Also life plans don't really work out. Most folk I know altered course. You don't have to go to school x, or have job z, or be married/have kids or whatever at age Y. You are not a failure. You are important and make sure to remember your worth. don't forget to be kind to yourself.
From a non 40+ year old but close enough.
My advice is ...not to take my Advice ...live and learn
There are lots of suggestions about teeth, guess i am gonna brush twice from tomorrow.
Take time to really talk to your parents. Ask them about their lives when they were in their 20s, before you were born. Ask them about their parents, grandparents, etc.
I lost my mom to a brain tumor when I was 25. Even today, nearly 32 years later, I still miss her, and wish that I had listened more closely when she was telling me stories about her younger years.
I lost my dad about 14 years ago. It was hard to talk to him, because life got in the way - he married a woman my sister and I didn't get along with, and I moved away to a different country to marry my then girlfriend. After that, we talked on the phone every few weeks, or I would see him when I traveled home every couple of years, but there were a lot more things I should have asked him.
Even today, my sister and I will be discussing something, trying to remember, and we'll both comment ... damn, dad would have known that.
If you can arrange it, record your conversations (audio or video). I didn't have a chance to do that, and I don't remember what my mom's voice sounded like anymore. I can still remember my dad's voice, but I don't know if my memories are really accurate anymore...
Turned 40 this year. Looking back things I wish I'd done:
* Saved more
* Travelled more
* Maintained my health (physical and mental)
* Learned more (a language, a skill, etc)
* Not been so self conscious (thus delaying things)
* Not been so pressured to have stuff "figured out" (still don't!)
Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do.
If it needs to go on credit and you don’t need it to stay alive (food, medicine, shelter etc) then you can wait until you’ve saved up for it.
Stop obsessing that you need to
A) Be in a relationship
B) Knocked up/Parenting
C) Home Owning vs Renting
in order to "prove" to society your life has entered some larger adult phase.
You are 20. You may think you have it all figured out, and you certainly come with an in-built, unflinching optimism that life will go exactly as you wish as most of you haven't been thoroughly kicked in the face long enough yet by life to lose that rosy impression. However, you are 20. What you want today may not even be possible or relevant in 5 years let alone 20. You still have a lot of growing up to do and you will change.
Don't stick with wrong people, friends/relationships out of habit or to honor the prior years spent with them. It's ok and normal to outgrow people. Don't waste time on people who no longer bring value to your life. 20s feel like you still have a lot of years left to screw up, but 20s pass in a blink. Train yourself to be self aware. Train yourself to say Nope without apology.
So much of modern life revolves around social media now. Shut It Off...Frequently. Eat meals, style your hair, go for vacations you never post about. Let calls to voicemail and texts unread. 98% of those items can wait or don't require your response at all. It's depressing to witness a group of friends sitting together in a restaurant and all opting to be on their phones rather than present for each other. You miss a lot of life time staring at your screens.
Save some money every time you get paid.
Even if it's only 5 bucks.
Save that shit and it will make your life easier.
Don't grow up completely. You can still feel like a kid when your 53.
Also. Invest a little now.
Go on the vacation. Order the meal you want (not the cheap one). And start putting 10% in your 401k.
• Learn how to study
• Learn how to exercise
• Learn how to cook
• Learn how to finance
• Fix your credit
• Don't stick your dick in crazy
- Your choice of life partner is the single most important decision you will make.
- Don’t drink too much.
- Set aside a portion (even if it’s small) of your income to invest.
- Lift weights.
- Find a job that requires an intersection of two or more unique or unusual skills. You’ll be hard to replace and will be paid well.
- Travel. Collect experiences instead of possessions.
- Don’t read too much that paints you or your generation as a victim. It will make you feel and act like a victim which is the quickest path to nowhere.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
start saving early, live below your means, travel, don't stay at a job that you hate. If you feel your SO isn't the right person for you, don't settle
Don’t rush to get married. You’re still figuring out who you are. Date, live together, whatever. Just don’t get married before 30.
Got married at 22, divorced at 28. I knew they weren't the love of my life, but we got married out of convenience and for the money. It was stifling, abusive and honestly we weren't done growing yet. By the time we felt fully developed and "grown," we realized that we low-key hated each other. It started with us not having sex anymore, sharing a bed or even going out to eat together. When we decided on divorce, it was super easy because both parties agreed to it and settled privately. I spent over a year working on myself and not dating- now I date someone, and it's the first time I have felt gushy, warm love. It's a whole world of difference when you spend time with someone you actually like and feel safe and comfortable with. Life's too short to waste on people that don't love or respect you.
Read The Defining Decade. She talks about this and waiting until your 30s doesn’t mean you will have a good marriage or not end up divorced
I agree that it will not guarantee it. But getting married before you know who you are is a bad bet. A marriage that ends in divorce isn’t necessarily a failed relationship. Sometimes they run their course.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh—never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded,
but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying
Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life
Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know
Didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees
You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
On your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much,
Or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can—
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.
Read the directions even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get
The more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
I watch this video about 3 or 4 times a year.
I was 17 when this song came out and I remember liking it, but knowing that I didn't really understand what the singer was talking about, that somehow, I couldn't. It's difficult to understand ideas like this (at least for me, and others too I'm sure) without context, and it's hard to get get context of these kinds of things without experience. But, that's ok. I'm 40 this year and I thought I'd be sad but I'm not. Age and experience can bring such better footing that I wouldn't trade it at all.
Can’t believe I’m taking advice from u/weinermcfartface, but here I go.
If you want the musical version
Sometimes you need things you didn’t know of, and this is one of them.
think multiple times when you want to procreate. i meant making babies, not having sex for fun. babies are freaking expensive and difficult to maintain financially, physically and mentally.
Do all the shit you really dont want to do. Go to school, work, save money, be responsible.
Crucify me if you wish but I've told my kids that this life in our current society is about doing shit you don't want to do so you can do the shit that makes you happy.
All the drugs & booze will amount to real money.
Take care of your body. Some day it will betray you.
Take advantage of retirement accounts. Time is your best friend.
Just because you planned on and went to school for it, does not mean that you have to do . Your skills and learning can be used in many ways, if you just apply some creativity to things.
You've reached that age where you can create a family that is not just blood relatives. And you can remove blood relatives from your family.
The harder you work at , the more luck you will have in that field.
Start saving for retirement now.
Cut back on stupid expenses like fancy coffee or designer clothes.
Don't get a fancy car; get one that works and isn't expensive to service.
Live below your means; if you get a raise, spend like you didn't get it. Or better yet, put the money in a separate account (most places that pay via direct deposit will let you split it up).
Be yourself (unless you're an asshole) and don't try to conform to whatever pressures you are exposed to.
Take care of yourself... brush your teeth, get annual physicals, get proper shoes, take care of your hands & feet, use skin lotion, etc
Listen to some of your parents' advices. Not all advices and not the most absurd ones.
But in general listen to them.
Your health and peace of mind are worth more than a career, relationships, or material things. Eat clean. Don’t smoke. Drink in moderation. Strength and conditioning training.
You can always change your mind. Don't feel like you're locked into a decision because you're embarrassed that maybe you chose the wrong thing. Life is too long.
You are the only you out there, and your life is going to be different from everyone elses.
Don't rush or push yourself to decide on your career, life partner, buying propery, or having a kid - or deciding definitively that you don't want or can't have any of these things.
People always feel like everyone around them are way ahead in all these things, but if eveyrone feels that way then no one is behind. That's because everyone does it at their own pace.
Do your best to move on and repair the damage your parents did to you.
It's too easy to get stuck feeling like they did too much for you, didn't do enough, or what they did harmed you and just circling in your mind wishing it went differently.
They may have done it to you, but only you can undo it to yourself.
Don't expect apologies or closure. Sadly, as bad as many parents were, they were actually doing their best. Sometimes their best is still so bad, but they will likely get defensive and it will only deepen the pain.
Am 21 my 50 year old aunt advised I should travel. No matter the distance whether it’s long or short distance.
Improve your posture now
Forget about happiness, which is transitory and mood-dependent.
Instead of chasing happiness, seek contentment, which you can find by taking actions that relieve the suffering of those around you. Sacrifice your own temporary comfort for others... and then keep your damn mouth shut about it.
In words of Johnny Cash in his song Satisfied Mind:
Money can't buy back
Your youth when you're old
Or a friend when you're lonely
Or a love that's grown cold
The wealthiest person
Is a pauper at times
Compared to the man
With a satisfied mind
When my life has ended
And my time has run out
My friends and my loved ones
I'll leave there's no doubt
But one thing's for certain
When it comes my time
I'll leave this old world
With a satisfied mind
Life's shorter than you think. Have fun, start saving now.
Whatever it is . Take a trip. Start a band. Move to a new city. Do it now when you aren't as tied to place by obligations.
Save your money. Buy stuff you need, not want.
Buy metal dental tools to floss your teeth.
You can mess up your credit score and pay off credit card debt. You just shouldn't use any credit while you do it.
Exercise and eat healthy. It catches up to you in your 40's.
Go to concerts and clubs and dance all night while you can! I'm glad that I did that in my 20's.
Leave your job if the people there suck. There are other jobs out there.
Having a kid was really hard on me. I don't think everyone has to have kids. I love him so much but it caused me to lose a good job.
As a dental hygienist please do not buy "metal dental tools" to floss your teeth you will do way more damage as you don't have the training to use them properly. Floss your teeth with REGULAR FLOSS - the only reason we need to use our tools is because people don't floss so calculus forms- floss daily and you wont get buildup
Floss your teeth daily, watch your weight, and pay off your credit cards in full each month. If you can't afford to pay in cash then you can't afford to charge it.
Invest heavily in retirement early. Live frugally, pay off your house(if you have one) and think of retirement.
Choose adventures and experiences over material things
Choose kindness and connection
If you like sex, have a lot of it. If you like to party, party a lot. If you like to dance, dance as often as possible. But if you like to drink, be moderate about it to protect your liver
It's your body, feel free to touch it, use it, and advocate for it
If you can save money while following your interests, do. If you have to choose between the two, choose following your interests. But don't go into debt in the process
Be gentle with yourself
Assume everyone you meet is doing their best with the resources they have
If you want to have children, first read up on modern understandings of childhood and childhood development. We understand a lot more about it now than your parents did, and the insights into connecting, listening, respecting, and the different developmental stages, can do a lot to increase your enjoyment of parenting and help you heal from your own childhood trauma, as well as help you avoid passing on that trauma to your children. Raising kids can be a joyful experience
Humans are, at heart, learning machines. If you find yourself bored, it's likely you've mastered (to the best of your current ability) your current interests. It's totally normal to cast about for the next fascinating thing, and to do a deep dive into it. We may be taught that a person ought to stick to one thing forever but, in truth, most of us will switch careers multiple times, switch partners, and drop hobbies. It's more important to be resilient and have good critical thinking, planning, and learning skills than it is to be blindly devoted to any one person, thing, or activity. The only exceptions being offspring and pets/animals. You are 100% responsible for taking care of those within your sphere of influence who have no power, themselves
Safe for retirement. If I had started at 20, I‘d have to put away like 20€ a month; now I have to put away like 200€ a month to catch up. Stupid past me.
Also, take care of your teeth. Replacing those is a goddamn pain (literally) and expensive.
Work in a place that is at least slightly related to what you want to do. If you’re not married/don’t have children you might feel like you’re paralyzed by finances and have to take whatever job is.
You aren’t, you can have roommates, eat ramen, go back to school or take an internship. 35 is not as far away as you think, get your shit in order.
Also maintain your friendships, they will be your friends for the rest of your life. Close friendships get harder and harder to find when your life gets busier and busier.
Don't fall for any "Get rich slowly over a lifetime of hard work" schemes.
Don't waste your time forcing a relationship to work when it doesn't. Everything is so much easier when you find someone who's actually right for you.
Brush your teeth. Look after your knees.
Get. A. Pre-nup.
Your joints are the first thing to wear out--take care of them.
Every few years evaluate those in your life. Ensure they give as much as take and visa versa. It may not always be consistent but it should level out.
It is ok not to marry, have kids, go to college or anything that someone else wants to push up on you. Just do you.
No matter how hard you try you may still end up living a different life than you hoped and that's ok.
Two Dogs and a cat is the limit. Anymore becomes a job
Brush your fucking teeth. Even when you’re too tired.
Don't take advice from random middle aged strangers on the internet.
Don’t get married until you’re at least in your late 20s and if there’s any doubt, don’t do it.
What ever injuries you get while young and "indestructible" will hurt like hell later on
Don’t get older.
you don’t need a significant other to be happy. enjoy your time alone. take it slow and go with the flow. set expectations low. and be grateful for what has happen in your life. reminiscence what you had done in your life. what you cam do to improve. don’t regret anything even if it’s something horrible. accept it and move on with life. learn anything you can. trust me you don’t want to be 40 and feel useless. lastly this is what a friend told me and it has been stuck with me ever since.
take care of yourself cause nobody else is better at taking care of yourself than you . no one else understands you more than you. soo do what makes you happy even if your friends and family thinks it’s weird. if it makes you feel happy do it. you can’t please everybody but you can please yourself
Expect prices to rise.
And dont buy into the bulshit of politicians.
My main advice is understand no matter how careful and diligent you are, bad things can still happen to you. Keep this in mind and empathy in your heart for others with different circumstances.
Travel as much as you can without putting yourself into debt.
It’s ok to outgrow people and friendships.
Don’t drink and drive.
Walk, run, swim, weight lift, yoga. Do some form of basic exercise more days than not. When you hit 40 you’ll understand why this is important. I know people a decade younger than me that struggle to slow walk a mile. Your body needs use to stay fit.
If you have a good relationship with your parents, try and see them. It’s frightening how quickly the years pass and suddenly they’re gone. Alzheimer’s also can hit unexpectedly and it’s amazing how much I wish for just a few more hours.
Vote younger people into office. You can only bitch about Boomers so much if you don't take action and get those old white Republicans out of office. Look at all they've done lately. Fucking vote!
Things get better. Even if they don’t you learn to cope better. The first time going through something is always the worst
Enjoy life while u can. The world will be absolute shit when u reach your 40s.
Oh and guys, take a fucking hint, she's down.
Get established in a career. The older you get the more opportunities shrink.
Make friends now, keep them, it gets so much harder later.
Exercise and eat right.
Everything in moderation.
Do NOT get dragged down into politics, it is self destructive and not at all positive!
Continual look for hobbies and passions, never stop learning.
Accept that your opinions will change and you may be wrong.
Take care of your body, you aren’t invincible and only get one per life.
Enjoy. Don’t think too much.
Try not to make decision that will cost you your health or your financial stability when you’re in your forties.
Take risks while you can, before you have a family.
And most importantly: enjoy.
Pay yourself first - that is commit to saving some $$$ off the top of every paycheck - and as early as you can. Let time and compound interest work for you.
I don't expect to save the 401k limit of 19.5k when pulling in 40k a year early in a career. But if you can do 10%... then 11% after a raise or bonus... then 12% the year after that and keep snowballing you can get to a decent saving rate.
My dad was in HR but had a good head for numbers. Drilled that into me and walked the walk. He passed a few years ago but my mom was taken care of very well due to his planning.
Don’t be afraid to try this world, be brave and learn something new every day! You have so much opportunities!
Just do it ! You'll have plenty of time to do the next thing.
Figure out an exercise you like and do it. You don’t need give up on the joy of movement to be an adult.
Figure out how to cook healthy and delicious food with lots of vegetables. Buy a rice cooker. Buy an oven rack for roasting. Restaurant food will bankrupt you and make you fat.
* Realize that the universe is chaos. The world is chaos. Life is chaos. All is chaos. Chaos can't be controlled and in fact it absolutely will fuck you up if you try. Keep a loose grip on things and go with the flow when chaos occurs. Ride the wave and try your best to make good choices. It will pass in time. If you get lucky, the chaos is traveling the same direction you are and will give you a boost.
* Always put something in savings for a rainy day. It will rain.
* Invest. In what, I don't care. Buy some index funds or REIT or stocks. Something long term. Little by little and it all adds up. Never more than you can afford to lose.
* Be kind to others. It is free and can get you out of trouble you didn't even know you were in.
* The fondest moments anyone remembers later in life are usually the small things.
Brush and floss
Not quite 40 but very close. Take care of your body especially your knees and back I’m looking at 2 knee replacements by 50.
Travel use your vacation time make memories. Put money away for retirement don’t wait.
Try to start early on some things that will change your life 20 years from now: working out consistently, brushing + showering daily, grooming, saving for retirement, budgeting, learning to cook/eat at home.
Travel while your standards are still low. You can enjoy seeing the world while you're okay sleeping in hostels and mostly walking place to place.
The internet is full of wonderful things. It's also highly addictive and toxic as shit. Prioritize seeing your friends, talking to your friends, etc. And don't let it tell you how to live your life. Most of the time the internet is trying to sell you something. Use it for your purposes and try not to let it use you.
Keep in touch with your friends. They'll still be your friends, but your connections will fade. Life, careers, relationships. Make sure you still keep a few you can rely on and who can rely on you. Find them ride or die's.
You don't have to have all the answers now. What you are going to do. What you want. Who you spend your time with. All that can change. It's okay if it does. The important thing is you go with it.
As my dad would say, at the end of the day you have your family and your health. Take care of those as best as you can.
Who cares if something is cringe. If it makes you happy, do it. You'll find people to support you. Everyone else can talk shit. Let them. Those who matter do not mind and those who mind do not matter.
When you have a goal, make a plan and a schedule to make steps toward it. You'll find yourself dreaming about doing so many things. Right now life is still an open book of possibilities. But that window narrows over time. You'll have less time for hobbies when you have kids. Less time for other shit when you're in a relationship. Less time to travel when you have to take care of your finances and loved ones. So set a goal, make a plan, put it in your calendar, and do it.
Start now on the shit you want to do. Want to learn guitar? Schedule 30 minutes/day where you will practice or learn. Live by your schedule/timer. The first month will suck. After that, you will feel weird when you don't get your 30 minutes in. Doing stuff like that is a matter of making it normal/routine. The hard part is starting. Everything is easier after you do and you'll get into it more.
It doesn't matter if you're rich, poor, ugly, attractive, smart, dumb, etc. Someone has lived a life grander and worse than you in some way. You have this life with the body you're in. So do your best to enjoy it, laugh off how silly existence is, enjoy some nature, and enjoy life.
Try to give back and volunteer. City cleanups. Fundraisers.
No one is the gatekeeper anymore to do what you want. When your goals are hyper specific, then yes. But if you want to be a musician? A million people are ready to teach you online. Doesn't mean you'll be professional full-time working, but you'll get to enjoy making music. Take the successes where they are and enjoy them when they come.
You don't need to push people down to rise up. You can get people to carry you everywhere if you lead by example, treat everyone kindly and well, put in the work, enthusiastically carry them when they need it, and make the efforts to be there for them.
Being young is largely about yourself. As you grow older, it becomes about others. As a kid, everyone's giving you attention to make sure you're well off to take care of yourself. Eventually you'll get a few years to really live that and discover yourself. And then eventually you'll have kids or a relationship or aging family members. And it's about taking care of them. Your immediate gratifications take a back seat. And that's not a bad thing, as the joy you get out of being in that responsible role is tough, but very rewarding. So be aware, you have a lot of time, but you don't have all the time. Do the things that you want to do.
When you're in your 20s, you have time and energy, but no money. 30's, energy and money, but no time. 40s+ time and money but no energy. Unless you're born into fortune, which most of us aren't, you're only getting two at a time.
Happiness isn't a feeling you get every single second and that shouldn't be the goal. You get moments of victory and long periods in between that are pretty slow. You can be on top of the world and still be miserable. Jim Carrey talks about this. He had the three biggest movies in I believe 1994 with Dumb And Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura. And achieving true Hollywood success from being dirt poor still didn't make him happy. What makes you happy is looking overall at what you do have, having gratitude for it, and improving that day by day. So if you don't get the "thing" you wanted most in life, you didn't lose. Look around and you'll see you've got more than you need. Attainment never gives you happiness. It might give you satisfaction, which is great, but that's also fleeting if all you do is keep chasing that dragon. Joy comes from the type of person you are and the community and world you've built around you and seeing how you've been able to be a good part of everyone else's lives.
Who cares if you fuck up. Fail upward.
Don't do permanent shit. Save money, travel, avoid bad habits, stretch.
\[Man this sounds Boomer-ish.....yep....I'm a (young) Boomer\]
Have savings available. Some money sitting in an account gives you flexibility / options.
Only 35 here so take it with a grain of salt, but don’t let your career define who you are. Money is great but there are many far more important things in life than what kind of work you do.
Never let your employer or your inner monologue make you feel guilty for taking a mental health day or a sick day. It's not worth it.
And good luck, you're going to need it.
Don't eat garbage food. Don't wear uncomfortable shoes. Pay for a quality mattress. Exercise.
Bend your knees when you’re lifting heavy stuff.
Get a trade.
Have lots of sex.
Travel to New places and meet new people.
You’re 20’s is about building your resume. It’s okay to not love your job. Consider taking a stressful job to build your experience.
If you do this right, the rest of your life is lucrative, with relatively easy jobs, and lots of autonomy (which makes jobs enjoyable).
Plus sacrificing a year or two in your 20’s to hard work can enable you to ultimately retire 10-20 years early.
It’s never too late to try new things. Just try to be happy and enjoy the little things. Life passes fast ;)
Do crazy stuff, like a new career or moving to some beautiful-but-distant part of the country/world, now! Obligations accrete like barnacles, you’ll likely be way too tied down by life for such shenanigans by your mid-thirties, much less your forties.
Cultivate empathy, generosity, firm boundaries, genuine friends, decent acquaintances, curiosity and a smart work ethic.
Do NOT settle and force trying to make a relationship work. Plenty of fish in the sea and 10 years goes by so much faster than you think.
Brush your teeth
Don’t listen to anyone and do whatever you want with reckless abandon.
Take care of your bodies, eat proper.
1. Add joy into your life every day.
2. Take good care of your body from head to toe.
3. Don’t take money out of your 401K. Put extra in if you can.
4. Believe yourself. Trust yourself.
5. Travel and enjoy as much adventure as you can.
6. If you have family members that are good to you, treasure them. Give them some of your time.
Enjoy… it goes so fast. ❤️
Don’t worry about not getting to certain “milestones” by a particular age (like 25 or 30 or whatever). Everyone’s circumstances are different. If life gets in the way of your goals, just keep at it (and take a pause if you need) until you achieve them.
Run your own race. Focus on what is working for you and go with it.
Get off social media, dont watch the news, take opportunity's no mater what it is, save your money you don't need all the material crap.
Floss. Use sunscreen. Invest.
Investing 100 bucks a week outta your paycheck will make you a millionaire by the time you retire. Everything grows. Don't forget it.
That person you crushing on…..fuck em’ focus on your goals
Start a Roth IRA asap!
Kind of a boring one, but my advice would be to invest whatever you can spare, especially if you have a 401k through your job and they offer a match. Even if you can invest just 5-7% you will thank yourself when you get older.
It’s better to be liked than to be right.