T O P
xela0422

“hit me baby one more time!!”


mintchocolate816

I was torn between doing this hint or “it’s me, bitch.”


minimares

Hi Britney


cjelfoffashelf

Every time I tell someone my name they always bring up the Simon and Garfunkel song. You’re breaking my heart!


Ramsay220

Cecilia


Necessary-Ad-5703

If Apple made a mini van, what would they call it?


ZariantheMighty32

iVan. Absolutely brilliant.


Accomplished_Fan6313

It must be “Apple MiniVanAir 5G Pro Max 64GB”! I must say that is a pretty odd name there.


Adam_Zapple

They made a whole movie about saving my privates.


[deleted]

Ooo oo shaving RYAN'S privates!! Ryan 👍


MannnOfHammm

Step on me before going inside


Few-Background2498

Hi, Matt :)


Huaco_kid

Dog shit? Edit: Wow this is my most upvoted/awarded comment! Thanks everyone!


Toastie-toez

Chinese green rock


Few-Background2498

Jade !!!!!!!!!


StriderSkywalker

"It's-a me!"


Few-Background2498

Mario!


Weatherbunny7

The band Boston wanted to take me by the hand and make me understand.


liceyscalp

Amanda !


SmokingSamoria

OCEAN MAN


MonopolyMansAsshole

I love how Ocean Man is on the same album as a song called Waving My Dick In The Wind


Hantaa187

Back in the old days, people were either gatherers, or me


campernoni

Hunter


CzarCW

All I see is ******


notylus

Dunder Mifflin, this is...


GimmieGnomes

Pam!


toothpastenachos

The Scranton Strangler


skarbux

I'm the whitest guy and named after a country in Africa.


reidontsleep

Chad


HALO-there-new

Look at this Chad. Means lake.


Pengdacorn

Ay look at Burkina Faso over here. What a white lookin dude


TheFightGoes0n

State Farm


bestower117

So state farm uses software that I support. My name is Jake and they called in having issues with the software. They made like 7 Jake from state farm jokes in the hour I was talking with them. I won't get their insurance just out of spite.


Prestigious-Offer-88

Tell me about it. Every time I meet a new person “Do you work at State Farm?” *me fake laughing but silently crying on the inside*


Phetru

That event where one dude slapped other dude (Live).


reidontsleep

Oscar


fullup72

Keep OP's name out of your fucking mouth


bluegrassmommy

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.


galaxyhigh

Miranda 😉


maverick1ba

Nice! I love this game. I can't stop scrolling, lol!


Formal_Mud_4396

What the mosquito in Jurassic park was encased in


Few-Background2498

Amber!!


Visidious1911

They used to kill me in every episode of south park.


ALonelyLotus

Hiya Kenny


BaconFlavoredToast

Those bastards!


persephone_24

With the good hair


reidontsleep

Becky


AOCourage

Bond. Bond Bond.


Matter405

Ionic


ConfusinglyLonely

Covalent?


Ccaster0620

Definition of my name means highly transparent glass with a high refractive index.


lasswantstofight

Crystal?


delta_tau_chi

Nice! I was like mirror? Window? Lmao


AverageGargantuan

Whenever I tell people I’m from the jungle, they tell me to “watch out for that tree”. Edit: Grammar


Ramsay220

George!


Zealousideal_Law8297

“You don’t have to put on the red light”


manicpixiscreamghoul

Roxaaannne


MaximumGooser

No no it’s more like RoxAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEE


IKEA-_-shark

The school witch 🧹🪄 Edit: I realized I mixed the name together with the translation of the cartoon show in my country. I mean "The teenage witch"


ThatOneLonelyKid15

Sabrina?


Existing_Peach_3845

My mom has got it going on


LeoWyattJPendragon

Stacy?


Existing_Peach_3845

Yep


Travelling-Cat

Snail go meow


delta_tau_chi

Gary!


Travelling-Cat

Ye! Meow.


GRA88HO99ER

Jack went up the hill with me


mattcruise

Your parents named you "empty pail of water"?!


xariine

Fuck I laughed way too hard at this


PerceptionWinter967

Key and Peele substitute teacher skit. The iconic one.


grurupoo

A A ron


Eoppa

Insubordinate and churlish.


jusroman

Mischievous and deceitful! Chicanerous and deplorable!


China_Razorback

I knew I would never hear the end of it the day that skit aired.


chobi83

I have a friend named Aaron, but ever since that skit, he's been introducing himself as A Aron...wont even let us make fun of it ourselves :(


WearJunior9739

I know an Aaron Blake, he got annoyed with it real quick when the skit first aired but he's mostly embraced it these days.


Intelligent-Context5

A-A-Ron Ba-la-kay?


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PerceptualDimension

De-NiCE?


RoosterDad

Tim-O-thee?


ShyneSpark

Pree-zent


viciousattacker8652

Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty


nightsinwhitesatin07

Janet.


Astrisie

....Quebec, Romeo, _____, Tango...


SoccerGamerGuy7

Sierra


MajFluffyKittens

Everybody hates me...


moooodycow

Chris!


hellboundwithasmile

Will Smith certainly does


she_has_no_name

Aww man, I can’t play


NipChaps

Valar Morghulis


jail_cream

Valar dohaeris


Nackles

Valar my ragtime gal Edit: Awards! Thank you! But full disclosure, this is not an original joke. I saw it on twitter, a while ago, and it just stuck with me because it's so catchy.


Wonderful-Custard-47

Awww, it's ok! There's a bunch of good ones here going unclaimed, maybe you could have one of those? Have you considered Aritchoke?


President_Calhoun

Pre-Covid, what people who put on masks to go into banks planned to do.


Ningiraffe

Your parents are super cool to have named a kid Heist


master3243

I think it's burgle


ttvZillion

Rob and this is the best!


NewMattIsntFunny

So your first name is Robin? And your last name is Dabank? Edit: Thank you for the award deposit! I'll be taking that :^)


ThatsNotMyOreo

*Who's that girl? ^Whose ^that ^girl? Whose that girl?*


mfini

It’s Jess!


MotivaSean

Someone called me Seen yesterday...


piedplatypus

Sean


maria_from_milan

How do I solve a problem like me?


rockstoneshellbone

Maria!


Responsible-Top-6882

I'm from the block.


insertcaffeine

Jenny? There's only one person who can get away with calling me that.


Runzas_In_Wonderland

Bewitched.


yellow_starrz

Samantha


International_Mix755

Three wishes


grurupoo

Genie


jbirdasaurus

Hi fellow Jeanie!


asianman1011

"You done messed up, (insert name here)!" (Holy crap! This is my most upvoted comment ever! Thanks for all the upvotes!)


Smart-Ad-3964

A A Ron


SecCom2

Jon


GrantSolar

Garfield


SecCom2

Fuck


yohy0

you’ll get ‘em next time it was a good try


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mialene

Sir Mixalot


Smokeybearvii

I may be inebriated but this made me laugh so hard.


grurupoo

James


AdOverall2392

Let me talk to the manager!


karm1t

Hello fellow Karen.


elmajico101

That's my wife's name. She use to really like her name. She hates it now.


Darpa_Chief

I can honestly see this name almost becoming extinct. Very unlikely in this day and age will you want to name your daughter Karen


JuGGieG84

Agnes is more popular than Karen these days.


creedok95

The wooden piece people blow on a clarinet


reidontsleep

Reed


rooni1waz1ib

I’m not a woman, duh


chgnty

Amanda


Diabeto41

6-2-8-8 Edit: far too many people are saying Mau which means you clearly haven't written entire notes in T9 before. Mau would be 6-2-88


cousgoose

See now that's an old school way to go about this kind of question. Nice


Au_Mind_QuestionMark

Negative Twelve? That you??


PlatypusAdvanced4070

Matt?


SexxxyWesky

FBHH? /jk


FattyFattyMcFatPants

I hate my first name now that sparkly vampires made it all popular, and I hate Volvos.


nightsinwhitesatin07

Edward


Meyyoneise

Opposite to minimum


Legoman987654321

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.


delta_tau_chi

Maximillian


Meyyoneise

Close enough


HappyTwig

Ok I’m sorry, is your name actually Maximum?


mostly_drowning

It's obviously Maxidad


my_humble_chapeau

Feliz Maxidad


Wonderful_Battle3311

Max


grurupoo

_ _ _ _ of Green Gables


yellow_starrz

Craig


pingwing

This was funnier than it should have been hahahaha


HeyImYeet

Anne! Very pretty name


Pike71

I like to steal stuff


bigfudge_drshokkka

Swiper?


A--Creative-Username

Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!


Alternative-Amoeba20

Hamburglar


ThatOneLonelyKid15

My mom?


safoolo

Mother of Jesus


FangSilvershire

Ayo, I found a fellow Mary. Hi!


SillyTumbleweed1387

Spiky Christmas plant


FlyingPies_

Cactus


Meg111421

Holly?


TianasJambalaya

swiss girl that lives in the alps


reidontsleep

Heidi


DazyHaze8

I'm a witch and a nut


Noranola

Hazel


Beginning-Comedian-2

The first man


TheChemicalSophie

We talking Neil or Adam?


phoenix_scarlett

freeman


yellow_starrz

Morgan


Chacharealroughdood

Gordon


thick_lolita

Shrieks wife. Or Scotty doesn’t know. Edit: Shrek. Oops


babbs6413

Fiona!!!! Shameless wouldve been another good clue!


onugirl90

It’s a shade of green


grurupoo

Kelly?


Wonderful_Battle3311

Artichoke


YooGeOh

This shouldn't be as funny as it is


cousgoose

Pickle!


delta_tau_chi

Olive?


Spider-Nicc

Sage?


Gnidlaps-94

Jade


MaximumAsparagus

a b c d e f g h i _


FlagrantlyBorish

I share a name with the baby that fell in a well in 1987.


sidewayz321

You wish you had my girl


gaspero1

Monty Python’s Life of…


reidontsleep

Brian


Amoney_85

Little Mermaid 🧜‍♀️


Few-Background2498

Ariel!


Fizzko

I am Saint and also love green colour 😊


jennathedickins

Patrick


unfoldingrose

My name is a common herb and also, a song used my name, saying “love grows where my ___ goes”


hazy55

Rosemary


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delta_tau_chi

T-Pain is that you?


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Thermonuclearkaboom

Tylenol pain relief?


0utstandingcitizen

Ouuuu weeeeee?


SD-Caller

I am Lemu Emu's partner.


LBlackStarJM

A precious stone such as rubies, emeralds, and diamonds.


Pr0fessorCh4os

I do not like green eggs and ham


Raptoraide

Red Ninjago


What_do_I_like

There are some who call me...


Tallisina

Tim!