By - delta_tau_chi
“hit me baby one more time!!”
I was torn between doing this hint or “it’s me, bitch.”
Every time I tell someone my name they always bring up the Simon and Garfunkel song. You’re breaking my heart!
If Apple made a mini van, what would they call it?
iVan. Absolutely brilliant.
It must be “Apple MiniVanAir 5G Pro Max 64GB”! I must say that is a pretty odd name there.
They made a whole movie about saving my privates.
Ooo oo shaving RYAN'S privates!! Ryan 👍
Step on me before going inside
Hi, Matt :)
Edit: Wow this is my most upvoted/awarded comment! Thanks everyone!
Chinese green rock
The band Boston wanted to take me by the hand and make me understand.
I love how Ocean Man is on the same album as a song called Waving My Dick In The Wind
Back in the old days, people were either gatherers, or me
All I see is ******
Dunder Mifflin, this is...
The Scranton Strangler
I'm the whitest guy and named after a country in Africa.
Look at this Chad. Means lake.
Ay look at Burkina Faso over here. What a white lookin dude
So state farm uses software that I support. My name is Jake and they called in having issues with the software. They made like 7 Jake from state farm jokes in the hour I was talking with them. I won't get their insurance just out of spite.
Tell me about it. Every time I meet a new person “Do you work at State Farm?” *me fake laughing but silently crying on the inside*
That event where one dude slapped other dude (Live).
Keep OP's name out of your fucking mouth
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.
Nice! I love this game. I can't stop scrolling, lol!
What the mosquito in Jurassic park was encased in
They used to kill me in every episode of south park.
With the good hair
Bond. Bond Bond.
Definition of my name means highly transparent glass with a high refractive index.
Nice! I was like mirror? Window? Lmao
Whenever I tell people I’m from the jungle, they tell me to “watch out for that tree”.
“You don’t have to put on the red light”
No no it’s more like RoxAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEE
The school witch 🧹🪄
Edit: I realized I mixed the name together with the translation of the cartoon show in my country.
I mean "The teenage witch"
My mom has got it going on
Snail go meow
Jack went up the hill with me
Your parents named you "empty pail of water"?!
Fuck I laughed way too hard at this
Key and Peele substitute teacher skit. The iconic one.
A A ron
Insubordinate and churlish.
Mischievous and deceitful!
Chicanerous and deplorable!
I knew I would never hear the end of it the day that skit aired.
I have a friend named Aaron, but ever since that skit, he's been introducing himself as A Aron...wont even let us make fun of it ourselves :(
I know an Aaron Blake, he got annoyed with it real quick when the skit first aired but he's mostly embraced it these days.
Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty
....Quebec, Romeo, _____, Tango...
Everybody hates me...
Will Smith certainly does
Aww man, I can’t play
Valar my ragtime gal
Edit: Awards! Thank you! But full disclosure, this is not an original joke. I saw it on twitter, a while ago, and it just stuck with me because it's so catchy.
Awww, it's ok! There's a bunch of good ones here going unclaimed, maybe you could have one of those? Have you considered Aritchoke?
Pre-Covid, what people who put on masks to go into banks planned to do.
Your parents are super cool to have named a kid Heist
I think it's burgle
Rob and this is the best!
So your first name is Robin? And your last name is Dabank?
Edit: Thank you for the award deposit! I'll be taking that :^)
*Who's that girl? ^Whose ^that ^girl? Whose that girl?*
Someone called me Seen yesterday...
How do I solve a problem like me?
I'm from the block.
There's only one person who can get away with calling me that.
Hi fellow Jeanie!
"You done messed up, (insert name here)!"
(Holy crap! This is my most upvoted comment ever! Thanks for all the upvotes!)
A A Ron
you’ll get ‘em next time it was a good try
I may be inebriated but this made me laugh so hard.
Let me talk to the manager!
Hello fellow Karen.
That's my wife's name. She use to really like her name. She hates it now.
I can honestly see this name almost becoming extinct. Very unlikely in this day and age will you want to name your daughter Karen
Agnes is more popular than Karen these days.
The wooden piece people blow on a clarinet
I’m not a woman, duh
Edit: far too many people are saying Mau which means you clearly haven't written entire notes in T9 before. Mau would be 6-2-88
See now that's an old school way to go about this kind of question. Nice
Negative Twelve? That you??
I hate my first name now that sparkly vampires made it all popular, and I hate Volvos.
Opposite to minimum
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Ok I’m sorry, is your name actually Maximum?
It's obviously Maxidad
_ _ _ _ of Green Gables
This was funnier than it should have been hahahaha
Anne! Very pretty name
I like to steal stuff
Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!
Mother of Jesus
Ayo, I found a fellow Mary. Hi!
Spiky Christmas plant
swiss girl that lives in the alps
I'm a witch and a nut
The first man
We talking Neil or Adam?
Shrieks wife. Or Scotty doesn’t know.
Edit: Shrek. Oops
Fiona!!!! Shameless wouldve been another good clue!
It’s a shade of green
This shouldn't be as funny as it is
a b c d e f g h i _
I share a name with the baby that fell in a well in 1987.
You wish you had my girl
Monty Python’s Life of…
Little Mermaid 🧜♀️
I am Saint and also love green colour 😊
My name is a common herb and also, a song used my name, saying “love grows where my ___ goes”
T-Pain is that you?
Tylenol pain relief?
I am Lemu Emu's partner.
A precious stone such as rubies, emeralds, and diamonds.
I do not like green eggs and ham
There are some who call me...