By - Few-Ruin6540
By challenging yourself and getting out of your comfort zone.
And also remembering that assholes are a minority, most people are nice and friendly and will respect you if you do the same.
By having to face rejection and failure and know what it feels like in order to be able to truly cherish what it is like to succeed and gain the confidence in knowing you are capable of doing what you need to do.
I like this one bro 🤩
For me? I gave birth 2x, natural water births, butt naked, in front of strangers (assistants), midwife and husband. I now give zero fucks about what anyone thinks about me.
Nearly loose your life then dig deep in your mind about why you're unconfident about your state of being. It should go well beyond looks or financial status. Being insecure about such things only makes you more manipulated. The more you don't speak up on your behalf the more you'll be walked on.
As I myself had learned, friends are a very big misnomer. I'd rather be surrounded by smart intellectual human beings than to drown in the social drama of the modern world. To be around people that have an aim similar to yours without the fear that they'll leave you in the dust if they become successful.
A lot of it comes from admitting deep down what you want from this life and to realize what's getting in the way of having it. Is it mere social idea's that fill you with doubt or is it insecurities from inexperience? It took a lot, and I do mean, a lot of pain to fully come to be. People often don't like how honest I am which is good. Better than being the one that says nothing and lets people walk all over them.
If you don't already have it, you have a two pronged system for building it.
The first is easy: you fake that shit. Seriously. Just faking it will help you get used to the idea of it, help you see ways that acting and speaking with confidence work and benefit you. Just be aware that the line between confident and cocky is largely about kindness. If you think you're acting confident, but what you're doing is something that would make you unhappy if done to you, you're probably over that line.
The second is a bit harder. Confidence springs from repeated success. If, for whatever reason, you've had a ton of non success (which isn't the same as failure, though they look the same until you've had successes enough to compare then), you *make* success.
Seriously. You know there's something you can do at least okay at. Everyone does. So fucking do it, repeatedly. Each success is going to bump your perception of yourself a little. And guess what? It even works if you fabricate *everything*. You set up a situation where you control everything, do whatever it is, and you will register it as a success.
It can even be something like playing against yourself in a game. It's a literal win-win situation. Because, even though you beat yourself, you win, and you learn something about the game that means you'll be harder to beat the next time. Yeah, it's slower than doing something where you'd have a chance at non success like playing against a computer on easy, but it works.
See, confidence is nothing more than the state of being where you think "I can" more often than "I can't". *Wisdom* is knowing when to say "I don't know if I can, but I'm sure as hell going to try". Confidence is the state of mind where fear of non success or failure is either non existent, or significantly less than the willingness to try anyway.
That second prong is complicated as fuck though. Navigating the learning of the fact that failure is not a bad thing is the hardest part. And it really isn't. You can be the best in the world at something and still fail. Failure is a chance to learn.
Then, identifying when something is just not successful instead of failing is hard. Because we aren't given the mental map that there is a state between acing something and not doing it right at all. But there is a shit ton of territory in between.
Part of learning those two key facts is figuring out honest self evaluation. That's looking at what you've done or said, looking at what didn't succeed the way you wanted, accepting the fact of it, and identifying ways to not succeed differently. When you stop looking at any given situation as something that's make it or utterly fail, you realize that *nobody* starts off as an expert. They all made mistakes, they said or did things that didn't work.
This gives you the ability to be kind to yourself, and help yourself improve. Failure doesn't lessen you, it improves you *if* you work at it.
That's confidence. That's all it is.
Now, you may notice along the way that your non successes and failures decrease. You'll notice that as time passes, you don't have to think about if you can handle a given situation, you'll know you can. Confidence breeds ability in the long term. Because you didn't give up and give in, you got better at the things you weren't confident in.
You'll also notice that you start running into situations that you aren't the right person for. And you'll confidently find someone who is. Having limitations and recognizing when to step aside is another benefit confidence breeds. You'll know that not having the necessary skills isn't a bad thing, it's just life.
Just Do It. ✅
Fake it till u make it
Find things take make you happy in yourself, create smalls goals and accomplish them and say fuck you to anyone negative
Failing at it a first few times.
Lots of practice. The more you practice something, the more confident you get about your ability. The first time I ever drove on a freeway, I was scared to death, but now I'm so confident that I sometimes don't even remember driving. I'll suddenly realize I'm in my driveway and I have no recollection of how I drove there! When I was a young driver, I would've been very deliberate and be able to remember all the small details of my drive.
Knowledge is power
Create your own style that makes u feel good. Stop giving a fuck about other peoples opinions.
Wym by dat bro?